My birthday was yesterday-having very difficult time

My birthday was yesterday-having very difficult time- Pease help!

Hi everyone,

It's been awhile since I've posted on this board. I've had a very rough year, I am just getting over cancer. I hope to have some new beginnings for myself this year. I have a lot of things I want to go for. It's been awhile since something good happened to me.

I am starting off on my own, my marriage has ended. I found myself falling in love in November, and developed a relationship with someone that I thought was only going to get stronger. It definately felt like a soulmate connection. The day before the eclipse, his old girlfriend showed up, and yesterday on my birthday, they reconciled. He dumped me.

I am now utterly heartbroken. I am hopeful it can be worked out, I just believe.

I hope it doesn't get any worse than this. And I just want something good in my life for my daughter and I. Can someone please help me and maybe give me an idea of what's going on here with my chart, what else else can I expect from this eclipse? Does it look possible to work out the relationship problem as well? Please help! This is much appreciated. Thanks.

Love and Light,
Ladylake



http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q192/ladylake9/birthdaytransits.gif

Is this the right chart? I'm sorry my brain is fried and I am a mess. Please someone let me know.

What a terrible situation!

I imagine that having an eclipse in one's solar return chart would be a very powerful influencee, but I don't think I could have predicted it would have such an immediate. Of course, there has to be something more here, but it's difficult to tell the aspects that are occurring between transiting planets and your natal planets from Astrodienst's transit chart.

I'll try to examine this more when I get home, but I can't guarantee that I'll find anything; I prefer the realm of natal astrology

Arian Maverick

Oh. My utmost sympathy for you...

Hope you gain the strengths needed to stand up and start moving on, soon.

As for the chart, first things I see are your natal Moon conj. Pluto in 12th and natal Chiron in 7th near Descendant. Well, and the transits ... solar eclipse, also your solar return, with transit Mercury and transit Chiron around there, occured at your probably most sensitive point - I.C. and 4th.

This occurance also, forming a kite pattern with your natal Neptune in 2nd Sagittarius and your natal Moon+Pluto in 12th, and focusing to transit Mars in your 8th in Gemini. Two poles of this kite are in mutable signs.

Another thing, These two poles combined with your natal Venus in 5th and your natal Saturn in 11th form Grand Square/Grand Cross. So the axis becomes more intense.

By all these, you could feel totally crushed down and your strength dispersed in all these confusions and uncertainties. They are to work earth-quaking and explosion and burning down to its completion.

*** But this can also work as your big house-cleaning, so that in the tomorrow you can collect the remaining things to rebuild new, more refined orders from the ruins. And you could then have plenty more of space to do that. ***

See it? These are powers that strike you down. Acknowledge them, and then please stand up and face them proudly, gracely.


That's for now. I just got a bit insomnia (it's after 3AM in Thailand right now) and just have to come browsing through WWW for a while. Now I have to go get some more rest.

I hereby again wish you and your daughter the best of wishes.

C ya.


Q

Thank you so much Arian Maverick and QuaOs for your replies.

Arian Maverick, if there is any thing else I can do let me know. I would appreciate it if you could take a look.

QuaOs, I know exactly what you are saying but it makes me cringe. I am experiencing that now. I feel like I want to start fresh on a number of things now, I think I better wait til it settles a bit.

Is it going to get any better? Can anyone tell me will the relationship problem improve? What to expect?

It's been very hard already for a long time. I have suffered with chronic illness for years, and then was diagnosed last April with thyroid cancer and had my treatment in June. I was ill for six months. I am just starting to feel better. Things were just starting to look up for me; a new love, better health. Now I'm lost.

I'm not sure if you are currently residing in or near the city in which you were born--this matters to some astrologers who believe one's physical location at the exact moment of their solar return can change the house position of the planets in the relocated chart, and thus, can influence where the energies of the solar return planets are expressed--but in the unrelocated solar return chart, you have retrograde Saturn tightly conjunct a Virgo Ascendant and Uranus in your seventh house of relationships. These planets do not oppose each other by aspect, but Saturn conjunct the Ascendant seems to characterize this year by being one of heavy responsibility, a year in which your outlook is quite serious but also probably introspective, due to Saturn's retrograde motion. I don't know of any sites that offer interpretations of specific solar return placements, but this is something you definitely want to look into further.

Uranus in the second house also seems to be indicative of a sudden change in relationships, which obviously occurred--but again, much more quickly than I think anyone could have expected! Uranus tends to strike quickly and unexpectedly like lightening, so if there was any planet that indicate this sort of abrupt change in the status of a relationship, this would be it.

I'm unsure exactly what this means, but tenth house Mars in Gemini is separating from a square aspect with Uranus; Mars also trines many planets in that large sixth house Aquarian stellium.

Another thing I just noticed: Since you have the sign of Capricorn on the fifth house cusp, Saturn is the ruler of your fifth house, and it is conjunct your Ascendant. Jupiter and Venus are both naturally happy in this house--especially Venus, because the fifth house is the house of its joy--but the influence of both of these planets is weakened because they are located in Capricorn, which doesn't allow them the freedom of expression they're used to. The fifth house is generally regarded as a house of pleasure and creativity and romance, so I think Venus and Jupiter may be able to give you a boost in this area even with "the enforcer" planet Saturn as the ruler of the house.

Now, what do we make of that large Aquarius stellium? What intrigues me most is the tight applying conjunction the Moon is making to Chiron, the Wounded Healer; retrograde Mercury is also extremely close to the Sun, but unfortunately it's not cazimi--within 17 arcminutes. In case you are familiar with the term, planets that are cazimi are considered by some astrologers to be greatly enhanced because they are tightly fused with the Sun; unfortunately, the same does not apply to planets that are above this tight orb, which are literally blinded by the Sun's strong rays. Although Mercury is pretty strong in the sign of Aquarius, it is retrograde and combust--not a good influence for one's Ascendant ruler. I don't think that this is necessarily an indication for a year of doom, though, so don't get too nervous; I think the worst has already passed, although I cannot quite give an astrological indication for this.

Another interesting thing in this chart is that you experienced your solar return very, very close to the moment of the Aquarius New Moon--but the Moon was technically still in its darkest phase, the Waning Crescent or Balsamic Phase. As New Moons imply new beginnings, Dark Moons as Balsamic Moons are called indicate endings; the New Moon represents the beginning of the Moon's cycle, while the Balsamic Moon represents the ending of the Moon's cycle.

Have you ever heard the phrase that "It's always darkest just before sunrise," or something to this effect? Well, I believe this to be true with the Moon as well; it is always darkest just before the New Moon. If you looked up in the sky at the exact moment of your solar return, you would probably struggle to see even a sliver of the Moon in the sky. However, it is in this phase that the seeds of rebirth are replanted; it can be compared to a tree shedding its leaves in preparation of winter to conserve energy. The Balsamic Moon phase is an ideal phase to rest and recoup one's physical, emotional, and spiritual energies, and I believe this theme should be apparent throughout the course of this upcoming year for you.

Certainly take time to heal and recover from this terrible betrayal, but if it is possible, try to see how this development for lack of a better word could have been in your best interests; you are now free from this relationship, and based upon your ex-boyfriend's distasteful and cowardly behavior, I do not think he is a man who had your best interests at heart. Is this truly someone you wish to be with?

I hope I do not appear too emotionally insensitive, for I certainly am not attempting to discount the intensity of pain you undoubtedly feel right now. Yet it is possible that the heavens orchestrated this event in order for you to experience growth, to cut yourself off from individuals who may have continued to drain your energy. It was time to end this phase of the relationship--indeed, to end the relationship altogether.

So far, I have just looked at your solar return chart; there are probably other astrological influences in your natal transits and progressions.

Arian Maverick

Thank you so much Arian Maverick.

My head feels like it's going to explode. The energy feels very heavy right now, in just a matter of days this happened. That's the power of Uranus then. But I really felt and I still do that something good is about to happen.

I understand the responsibility part, that comes when you are making serious changes and are going after things. I just hope the vibe gets a little lighter and I can see some results.

I am interested in finding more about Mars, and what you mentioned. You see, I do feel heartbroken but still postive and incredibly empowered to make my dreams come true. I am wondering if this is the energy of Mars.

I know it was necessary for me to take care of myself. I understand that part as well, and no I don't think you were being insensitive at all. Thank you, I appreciate your help. It is complicated though. I wish it didn't happen this way, so suddenly. I can't even get my bearings. And I know intuitively I belong with this man, maybe not right now, but somewhere down the road.

I am living within a few miles of where I was born, yes.

I am hoping to relocate to California this year though. I have so many dreams that I have been trying to go after for years. I felt so strongly that this was my year to do it, I still really do.

Hopefully after the dust settles.

Is this the chart you were referring to in your post above?

http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q192/ladylake9/nataltransitsandprogressions.gif

Thanks so much,

Ladylake

Is this the chart you were referring to in your post above?

http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q...ogressions.gif

Click to expand...

No, I was referring to your solar return chart--it's a bit different from the combined transits and progressions chart.

I did use Astrodienst to calculate it, though

Arian Maverick

Oh okay


Thanks so much for your help!

Ladylake

Thank you autumnleaf. That was nice, I appreciate that.

I still felt positive yesterday. I do not today, it's all gone. I can't go on. I can't do this anymore. It does not seem like it's going to get better, no one can tell me.

No one knows how hard it's been, the last few years. It's been unbelievable. I swore this year was going to be my year, my time to shine. It crumbled fast. It dissinigrated. I found out about this karmic connection that I had to this man two years ago, and started my journey to him. We met faster than I realized but online. Maybe we were made to meet in person, down the line. Maybe this isn't the right time, no one knows. I just know in my heart I belong with this man, as difficult as he is.

I have no idea anymore what to do. I don't want to do this anymore though. I can't do it. When is my chance going to happen? I deserve something good for once.

My world fell apart 5 years ago, relationship, career everything, pluto had something to do with it, so did uranus and chiron. I did a painting at the time, abstract and it showed me a skull with wild colours coming out of every whole. This was not intended, then a few weeks later I turned it upside down, there was this big beautiful bird just sittingthere! What came to mind was the Phoenix, which rises birthed from the ashes. The UNiverse never seems to destry without having something else to take its place, door close so that others can open!!

I have a genuine foundation in my life now that I thought I had but I did not. I saw everything taken away even my personality to some extent as I had depression and anxiety issues. I made a big decision as I felt I had absolutely nothing in my life (I didn'y actually but that was a lesson for me), this was to put back into my life only the things I loved. If there was something I was uneasy about, I tried to be brutally honest with myself and as far as I could change the things I didn't like even if I didn't have a plan as to what would fill it.

My leaps into the future have put me in a good place, not what I expected but a good place.

Mars Pluto and Uranus have been in mutable signs for quite a while thereby forming difficult tensions. So if you have mutable stuff going on, there has been stuff to resolve, remove and move on to the new.

Time will change your realities, have a look for some up coming positive transits. You have space to birth things now.

Love Light Flea