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  #1  
Unread 09-17-2010, 12:36 AM
ScorpioChick99 ScorpioChick99 is offline
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Unhappy How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

OK so "my Lion" probably isn't accurate anymore but. . .

I am a scorpio and dated a leo recently for a few months. He was the first leo I have dated and absolutely the most intuitive man I have ever met. We had a connection unlike I have ever experienced, I guess in part because we are both very intense people. We always pondered how much we were alike.

You probably won't be suprised to know that we also fought a lot. He knew how to "push my buttons" (so to speak) and I, being the stubborn individual that I am, called his bluff. A lot. I always felt like if we could learn to communicate -- if I could learn to express how I felt and he could learn how to put me at ease, we would have a deep and powerful connection. But alas, we never made it that far.

He came down to visit Labor Day weekend and we had a pretty big fight. The end of it went something like, Him: "If you leave, we are done." Of course, being the stubborn, stupid individual I am, I left. Well so did he (lol, can you blame him?).

Over the next few days, I texted him quite frequently to apologize and he mostly ignored me which was very rare; he always had something to say when we fought, even if it was mean. Though when he did respond, his responses indicated that he was on the fence about the relationship. He finally said "I need space right now, I don't think this is going to work out." I told him that I agreed but just needed to hear him say so.

And that was it. I texted him one more time about 5 days later (and one week ago) to say that I didn't like the way that things ended, hoped we could at least be friends and told him to "give me a call sometime if [he] wanted to talk." Radio silence.

Problem? I am sick with wondering what could have been. I didn't feel like we dated long enough to really know whether we were compatible. I haven't felt a connection like that in many years, if ever. My curiosity is killing me and my stubborn scorpio heart just wasn't/isn't ready to give up.

So, my questions are (1) are Lions not even the least bit curious the way scorpios are? (2) should I try another quick, small lighthearted apology? (3) Is he still "sulking" or do Leos not sulk this long?

Any "thoughts" are much appreciated. I am really having trouble letting this one go :-(

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  #2  
Unread 09-17-2010, 01:04 AM
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Lion o ness Lion o ness is offline
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

Well of course everything depends on his other placements in his chart.

Leo is very fixed, and once a Leo mind is made up, its very difficult to change. Neary impossible.

BUT... It depends on what the two of you were fighting about also.. If he felt you betrayed him in any way.. He probably wont ever let that go..

If its just a "communication" and he is AWARE thats the problem, he may be back after he thinks things over.. He said he needs space.. BUT that he didnt think things were working.. Leo's are pretty straight out and will tell you where you stand.. Try not to read in between the lines, he's telling you exactly what he's telling you.. What he feels for you also has a big part on what he will do..

Yes leo's are very curious, I leo needs to know exactly where they stand with another person.. PERIOD... No bs...

Does he have any cancer if he does, he will retreat and think over every detail, until he's cleared it all in his head..

For me I can forgive.. and be back, but I CANt for given any type of betrayal.. Especially emotional betrayal... I just cant let it go...

What wont work is demands, ultimatums, things like that....

Try sending him an email, letting him know how you feel about the situation. Your point of view.
This way there's no pressure from you to him, he will read it, and think about it...
Appeal to his emotions... That's the best way... In my opinion...
Then give him the time to think.. Let him contact you after that..

Good Luck..

Ooo I date a scorpio once.. Its was very HOT!.. Luved every minute of it.. We didnt end it because of an argument.. We never got to that point...
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Unread 09-17-2010, 01:18 AM
ScorpioChick99 ScorpioChick99 is offline
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lion o ness View Post
Ooo I date a scorpio once.. Its was very HOT!.. Luved every minute of it.. We didnt end it because of an argument.. We never got to that point...

LOL yessss, probably one of the reasons I am so torn up about this. . .

How do I know if he has Cancer? He was born Jul 24, 1984 but that's all I know :-/ Sorry I am such a n00b.. .



Quote:
Originally Posted by Lion o ness View Post
If its just a "communication" and he is AWARE thats the problem
No, unfortunately, I think he more likely felt betrayed than realized it was a communication problem (on my end).

It's just so weird that he's completely gone from my life. He has NEVER been quiet in our relationship which makes me think he's done.

We both have very big egos (and we were both aware of, and discussed this). I am afraid to contact him bc that might (a) destroy his curiosity or (b) if he doesn't respond, crush me again.

But, yeah, part of me thinks, what have I got to lose? Would just help to know he was thinking 'bout me too :-/
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Unread 09-17-2010, 03:00 AM
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Lion o ness Lion o ness is offline
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

Do you know what state he was born, if so I can get half of his info..

The moon,asc, and house's you cant get w/o the correct birth time, but the rest you can get with just his B day and place of birth.


I think if its a misunderstanding, trying to clear it, is the best thing. Then yes it would be up to him, to decide what is best for him... He may or may not respond, but at least you did what you could w/o giving him pressure... If you dont try, then you will always wonder.. What if!!!

If u do decide to email, try not to place blame, use phrase's like I feel.......
I understand when........ etc etc..
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  #5  
Unread 09-17-2010, 03:14 AM
ScorpioChick99 ScorpioChick99 is offline
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lion o ness View Post
Do you know what state he was born, if so I can get half of his info..

The moon,asc, and house's you cant get w/o the correct birth time, but the rest you can get with just his B day and place of birth.

Yes, he was born in Massachusetts


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lion o ness View Post
If you dont try, then you will always wonder.. What if!!!

If u do decide to email, try not to place blame, use phrase's like I feel.......
I understand when........ etc etc..
Any thoughts on the ideal timing? Its been like 12 days since the big fight and 7 since the last contact.

It seems like things must have been "over" for him before that for him to have made such a clean break. I don't know how he could still be mad. Seems like by now he would have contacted me if he wanted me back. . . .

Uuggghhh next time I will really think twice before being such a brat!
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  #6  
Unread 09-17-2010, 03:25 AM
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

Sun Leo 2.18
Moon Gemini17.36
Mercury Leo28.32
Venus Leo13.06
Mars Scorpio19.04
Jupiter Capricorn 5.03
R Saturn Scorpio 9.49
Uranus Sagittarius 9.46
R Neptune Sagittarius29.12
R Pluto Libra29.23
Lilith Pisces 25.13
Asc node Gemini 4.57


No no Cancer... His moon may be wrong bc of the time...

He's pretty fixed, so if he's made of his mind, it would be difficult to change it.

If he was feeling done, before the argument, then yes an argument could have sealed those feelings.

His Mercury is in Leo, so he should pretty much tell you straight out, what he thinks.. He would probably be blunt about it..

Try the sincere email.. Take a chance explain your feelings/side to the situation... They only thing you have to loose is the "not knowing"...


Here is a birth chart for him.. The link will only work for a short time.. But you can save the page on your computer.
http://astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-b...States&lang=en

Last edited by Lion o ness; 09-17-2010 at 03:33 AM.
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  #7  
Unread 09-17-2010, 04:05 AM
ScorpioChick99 ScorpioChick99 is offline
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

Wow fascinating. . . .

Yeah, I've been reading about what you posted and it doesn't bode well :-(

Everything I read sounds exactly like him though.

Would you mind doing mine? Idk when I was born but I was born in Fla 11/20/1978.

Thank you so much for everything!!
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  #8  
Unread 09-17-2010, 04:06 AM
ScorpioChick99 ScorpioChick99 is offline
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

Oh nevermind, guess I can do it myself using the link you gave me :-)

Thanks again.
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  #9  
Unread 09-17-2010, 04:17 AM
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

No prob.. Glad to help
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  #10  
Unread 09-17-2010, 04:26 AM
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Kenoshamaensa Kenoshamaensa is offline
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

While the two of you are sunsign Scorp and Leo, I may have a little insight on this, as my ex- and I were Venus Scorp and Leo (my Leo, his Scorp). While we both shared the same sun and moon signs, our VENUS signs were -- in the end -- incompatible and helped to spell the end of a 20 year marriage and what began as a very good friendship.

So from the LEO end of things, let me give some insight into what went wrong for us that may (or may not) help you understand your Leo.

First, Leos need to feel adored. One of THE biggest problems for me and the ex- were wildly divergent (ultimately) needs in relationships AND ideas of what "love" meant. We got not only frustrated with each other, but downright angry. As was point out already, BOTH signs are fixed, and are reluctant to give way. We each think we're right ... and for us, we are, in terms of our needs. It really DID come down to "irreconcilable differences." Our many similarities held us together for years, but ultimately these fundamental differences made us come **** near close to hating each other!

I needed a cheerleader -- someone who'd back me up, encourage me, flatter me and love me when I was feeling unloved by the world, or discouraged. This is a very, VERY basic Leo need. If we don't think you adore us, we LEAVE. But trust me, we will give it BACK 10-fold. A little praise and flattery makes us preen ... and flatter you back. It's like air to a Leo, and without it, we suffocate ... which is what happened to me in the marriage. I would go out of my way to thank my ex- for the support he did give, to flatter him, tell him I found him attractive, etc.... but it wasn't what *he* needed.

He "needed to be needed," as he put it. He's got a bit of the martyr complex (which isn't entirely his Scorp Venus ... he also has a 10th house Moon and Cancer rising, so there IS other stuff going on, and as has been pointed out above, other chart influences really do matter).

I really don't need a savior. What I "need" is a friend and (as noted above) a cheerleader. Not only do I not need a savior, I sorta resent one. It insults that Leo pride! :-) I don't NEED you (even if I do), but I may WANT you. ;> That sort of intense need to be needed actually strikes me as unhealthy. But I think I made him feel "useless" as the need to be needed was as much emotional for him. He'd try to make me jealous ... and y'know, at some levels, Leos just ... aren't. We really aren't. Yes, we CAN be jealous of *attention*, but we're also pretty fiercely loyal, so if we give you our trust, we GIVE it. Trust is a great gift from a Leo, a sign of our very real appreciation (as well as -- yes -- a little vanity) ... we want to believe you really do want US and wouldn't cheat.

So my refusal to be jealous or express "proper" (for him) emotional NEED drove him crazy at some levels, and he'd then withhold what *I* needed ... approval. Instead, he'd find ways to find fault with me, or to give "back-handed" compliments, what I'd call subtle passive-aggressive hostility. The more I complimented him, the less he complimented me -- the law of diminishing returns. And HIS shadow side was a certain love of that power he had over me.

So it was really very VERY damaging in the long (to both of us). We weren't getting what we needed ... and weren't able to give what the other needed really, because we never quite understood it. Or rather, we understood it perhaps at some intellectual level, but it didn't make GUT sense. I may "get" what he needed, but it's not in my nature to give it ... or WANT to give it. It ... grates on me in a very basic way, makes me feel silly or helpless. Likewise for him, I think. My need for praise -- and even my tendency to give HIM praise -- grated on him, or even felt like "unreal" flattery, even if from me it was very real.

So when it came to love and relating (Venus), we really, really didn't GET each other at an emotional level, despite a good intellectual understanding and basic understanding of our "selves" (Sun) and our emotions (moon), and even our passions (Mars ... we shared the same Mars sign too). We couldn't make the rest work because our VENUS signs were so incompatible.

(It didn't help that our synastry and composite charts were full of problems as well, but here, I think the "story" of the Leo Venus versus the Scorpio Venus may be the most useful for you.)
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  #11  
Unread 09-17-2010, 04:38 AM
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

Keno.. That was awesome.. btw you also describe my 12 year marriage to a Virgo.

Me/him
sun leo/virgo
moon leo/aries
venus cancer/leo
mars leo/leo
mercury leo/virgo
asc pisces/virgo
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  #12  
Unread 09-17-2010, 04:48 AM
ScorpioChick99 ScorpioChick99 is offline
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

Thanks Kenoshamaensa :-)

Interestingly, I am a venus in scorpio and he is a venus in leo (but maybe you already got that). And yes, I tried to make him jealous but he never "bought it" and I never understood why. I thought Leos were supposed to be jealous but I guess now I know I was missing a big part of our dynamic because I didn't have the whole picture.

I also tend to let people walk all over me a lot (my natal chart says something about a "square moon") and I think he did this to me repeatedly until I would just snap. We were incapable of communicating-- I always felt like he was attacking me. I don't know if this was his blunt personality or his trying to test my feelings for him. (I know I tested his feelings a lot and he almost never "passed" that test, lol).

But yeah, I know we were probably completely incompatible, I just couldn't help but feel like if we could ever get on the same wave length we could really move mountains. Maybe we could never have come together enough for that to even be a possiblity though. At least that thought makes him easier to lose. . .
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Unread 09-17-2010, 05:24 AM
Nesher Nesher is offline
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

Hey ScorpioChick....
I found it interesting to read the above posts. I have just very recently finished the most amazing and intense relationship of my life with a Leo ( also younger than me). I am an Aries with absolutely no water in my chart. His chart had a huge cluster of personal planets in Leo in the 6th house. I am replying to this thread because I am still trying to figure it all out and having trouble letting it go. It started 2 years ago and continued through the most random and chance meetings all over the world. We spent the most incredible month together and then he left to go back to Israel ( I live in Australia). Communication stopped after an email saying that if the age difference wasn't so great etc that he would marry me and that he loved me....... So you can imagine that this didn't help in moving on!!!...... I eventually went to Israel ( he didn't know until I got there) and we did end up meeting up and spent another 5 months together, but he was resisting all the time even though the connection and love was there..... i loved him so much that I would put up with all this hurt and take whatever I could get.... we fought a fair bit ( I don't even remember what it was about) and a little voice in me told me to get out, but I knew once he/I left that his Leo pride would never let me back into his life..... so i waited until the visa ran out and then the decision was out of my hands. Yes all very bad I know... but I guess I can sympathize with you as I also felt something was not finished and wondered for nearly a year at what could have been....... it was very painful..... now I am dealing with regrets and I'm not sure if I should have left it at the beautiful connection we had over a year ago and moved on or not. Easy to say now, but I have always followed my heart and I think in the long run upon reflecting, it all had to happen the way it did, otherwise I would always have been wondering what could have been. It's been a huge lesson in many things. Letting go is so hard. I wish i had the right advice..... all I can say is follow your heart, email him explaining everything you feel you need to share so you feel your communication about it all is complete and then try and then breathe it all out!!!!! let what is meant to be BE.. Good luck with it all.
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Unread 09-17-2010, 11:59 AM
ScorpioChick99 ScorpioChick99 is offline
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

Thank you Nesher. I am sorry for what you are going through.

It does sound like your situation was similar to mine, although, yours went on longer than mine. It sounds like you two had a bit of a power struggle, what with his pulling away. We had that problem too.

I agree that it is best sometimes to fully vet things. But time sometimes makes you forget the bad stuff (e.g. what the fights were about). If you were really happy in the relationship, I think you should reach out to him. Me -- I'm not sure what I will do. I have strong feelings for him but we didn't always experience great times and in the end, I wonder whether he could show me the love that I needed. (And whether I could do the same for him).

If I do contact him, I will be sure to let all of you know what happens :-)
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Unread 09-17-2010, 12:23 PM
ScorpioChick99 ScorpioChick99 is offline
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

Sorry, one last thought.

Speaking of "power" in a relationsip; I have learned many things from this relationship (mostly from its demise, really) but I have come to realize that I need a certain amount of power in a relationship to feel secure. I think it is difficult for a Leo to give much in the way of power, especially for this Leo.

I think going forward, I will try not to jump in feet first and to reserve a bit of myself (and hence, my power).
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  #16  
Unread 09-18-2010, 10:12 AM
Inside Out Orange Inside Out Orange is offline
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

If you want him to forgive you, write a decent apology and then leave him alone. Time heals.

Every time you prod him in the meantime, just reminds him of you and that brings back up any anger or resentment he has. You're just perpertuating those negative emotions rather than letting him heal up to the point where he remembers the good things.
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Unread 09-18-2010, 09:33 PM
ScorpioChick99 ScorpioChick99 is offline
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

Hi Inside Out Orange

Any ideas on the idea timing? It's been two weeks since we broke up and after my initial 24-hour freak out, I only emailed him once (a few sentences about being friends). That was 9-10 days ago.

I apologized a bunch in that initial 24 hours, think more apologizing will help? It seems like he may just be over it and nothing I can do will change his mind.

Ugh, I keep going back & forth... But if I do it, when should I do it?
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Unread 09-18-2010, 09:58 PM
Inside Out Orange Inside Out Orange is offline
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Re: How do I get my Lion to forgive me?

Just reading your initial post .. your last communication was a text that put the ball in his court ... "give me a call sometime if you want to talk" ... you've got to go with that or you just open yourself up to getting used and abused. If he wants to be with you, he knows how to get in touch and it's not like you haven't made the effort. If you really, really insist on contacting him leave it until the next holiday e.g. halloween, thanksgiving, christmas and just make it a brief good wishes.

As for writing an apology in the first 24 hours ... I'd pooh-pooh that if I received it. I wouldn't take it as a real apology, just an attempt to get around me. But hey, I have a cynical Scorpio descendent If I'd just broken up with someone I'd want them to go off and really think stuff through, demonstrate in that apology that they've reflected on what happened and explain how they'll do things different. Essentially for them to show me that they've taken responsibility for their actions and that they'll change.

Last edited by Inside Out Orange; 09-18-2010 at 10:02 PM.
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