Dating Game - Learning from Chart

byjove

Account Closed
- I wouldn't mind dating your friend who has serious chats about dating from the start ... :whistling:

- I suspect Saturn influences both the 5th and 6th houses for me. I've spent plenty of time researching both and I think it's both. I haven't been averse to 'light affairs' so perhaps Saturn has more influence in the 6th. The retrograde motion has to have some effect though.

- I wouldn't imagine debating with people who are far better read and practically experienced on these topics than myself, I would say though that perhaps in my case the 7th is more tied to the 5th than for many younger people, in particular. The concerns of the 7th are usually in view of the 5th's activities for me.
 

capleo2scorpio

Well-known member
You have moon venus contact. You need a real woman, a curvy woman. You have mars sextile Jupiter in aries. You can show her how macho you are and be a man's man. But then again, you have venus square Saturn may indicate you have limitations with love or loving feminine women?!! And you have pluto trine venus could mean deep selfish controlling love, maybe you need a pluto mars woman. I'm a pluto mars with a pluto venus and was with a pluto venus, never planned for it to happen, we met and I just fixate on them and vice versa. First relationship started at 14, ended 19, this one started at 23 until now. Just don't worry, if it's meant to happen, a series of fortunate events will make it happen.
 

byjove

Account Closed
I certainly am ^^ :whistling:

Update - well, for the second time in only a few days, I nearly, totally destroyed a beautiful relationship with someone new. :surprised:

Mostly it's fear, doubt and insecurity. It has been years since any of this has been an issue. I can't believe it's come out of nowhere. It's not intense suspicion of the other person - it's trust problems, fear, doubt. I know that underneath it all I hugely admire and respect this person who is both older and far more experienced in relationships than I am. I wonder is a comparative caving-in of self confidence the reason why old issues have come up. :andy:

I don't drink too much alcohol, cheat, lie, steal, get angry or violent. It's trust issues which I very nearly allowed to destory this. He said today that my fear and doubt hurt him. I'm so afraid of being hurt in relationships that I incidently hurt someone apparently great through trust issues. Oh my gosh. :unsure:

I'm going to try to open up to him a bit more to let him in. In the meantime, I have to fix this and endeavour to be the man to partner with him. :love:
 

waybread

Well-known member
Byjove, trust is such a tricky concept. On one hand, we would all be fools to trust utter strangers with our hearts-- or bank accounts. On the other hand, suspicion and lack of trust can be deeply wounding to another person whom we care about.

Are there some aphorisms or affirmations you can tell yourself? That whatever happens in a relationship, you'll come out of it just fine? That you are strong enough and centered enough to experience some hurt in a relationship without being fundamentally damaged by it? Suppose you do trust someone you really, really like; and he turns around and hurts your feelings and/or leaves the relationship: you'll come out just fine, with a "thanks for the memories" attitude about it. I would go so far as to say that if we never allow ourselves to experience hurt, if it happens, that we can't fully relate to the other person, such that we can let in the love.

Pretty scary, huh?

(She hums a few bars of that beautiful song from The Fantastiks, "Try to Remember," with the line, "Without a hurt, the heart is hollow."
 

byjove

Account Closed
I think that's a wonderful attitude and I really like it. As it happens, I find affirmations and wisdom quotes have a strong, uplifting effect on me.

I really like your attitude to relationships. It's already comforting. Thank you. :smile:

Byjove, trust is such a tricky concept. On one hand, we would all be fools to trust utter strangers with our hearts-- or bank accounts. On the other hand, suspicion and lack of trust can be deeply wounding to another person whom we care about.

Are there some aphorisms or affirmations you can tell yourself? That whatever happens in a relationship, you'll come out of it just fine? That you are strong enough and centered enough to experience some hurt in a relationship without being fundamentally damaged by it? Suppose you do trust someone you really, really like; and he turns around and hurts your feelings and/or leaves the relationship: you'll come out just fine, with a "thanks for the memories" attitude about it. I would go so far as to say that if we never allow ourselves to experience hurt, if it happens, that we can't fully relate to the other person, such that we can let in the love.

Pretty scary, huh?

(She hums a few bars of that beautiful song from The Fantastiks, "Try to Remember," with the line, "Without a hurt, the heart is hollow."
 

Horus

Well-known member
With all due respect, Horus, I think both modern and traditional western astrology have merit. If you find that the 5th works well for you in the love & romance department, I can hardly argue otherwise. However, with my sun, Venus, and Mercury in the 5th (and Mars, as well, in some house systems) I truly have a different take on what it means.

(I am devoted to my two adult children, and outdoor recreation in wild places is where I feel most rejuvenated.)

An Aquarius with a different take? I wouldn't expect anything else! :tongue: That's quite a stellium there, like that of my favorite composer, Herr Mozart! Of course that Aquarian genius was complemented by a hard-working, organized and productive Cap H5 cusp responsible for the immense volume of creative output ina relatively short lifespan. Tolkien had this same cusp with his Sun there too and he also produced an immense volume of creative material - a very organized construction of Middle Earth's history, language and mythology.

I think many people misunderstand the 5th house, putting serious love affairs there, rather than in the 7th. If singles are looking for Mr. Right, that's a 7th house matter.

The 5th arguably is about creativity, but then the other houses are equally about creativity in their respective ways. If I develop a life philosophy, that's creative and a 9th house matter. If a teacher gives a brilliant classroom exercise, that's a third house matter. If an investor finds an ingenious way to make money, that's a second or eighth house matter. Creativity isn't restricted to the 5th house.

What the "CREATION, PROCREATION and RECREATION" trope does is turn the 5th into kind of an everything-nothing house. Like some (but not all) astrologers I see the 8th as more relevant to sexuality. Recreation, yes, for sure-- but then how many lonely singles view dating as a type of recreation similar to playing bridge, doing needlepoint, or kayaking? A romp in the hay with no expectations beyond the "joy of sex"-- sure, that's a 5th house matter. But for dating in the hope that it will lead to a solid relationship puts us in the 7th house.

I can see this from the metaphysical point of view that thought is creative, so what in reality isn't ultimately, even if indirectly? But, I think the modern decription given is a little more focused on creative intent than the others, more pointed toward the products or expressions which 'radiate' from us (the 5th being the natural house for Leo and the Sun) like children or the arts, and perhaps the joy felt in such things.

I have a lot of interest in the historical origins of the thematic content of houses, and in ancient times, there is good evidence that disparate meanings were packed into the same house. The 5th was the house of "good fortune", as you know.

If I were to see any parallel between children and recreation, it wouldn't be the modern self-help trope about releasing one's inner creativity. The key, I think, is that word "rejuvenate" which has the same root as our word juvenile for a child. The 5th house releases our cares and makes us feel fortunate, if well navigated and unafflicted.

I appreciate this insight.

I do not see modern and traditional astrology as irrelevant to one another at all. But that's a different thread topic. I will say that using asteroids vs. essential dignities or whatnot is irrelevant to this thread.

Ohh I never meant to imply that traditional astro is irrelevant, after all its the foundation for modern, so how could it be? My only point was that meanings for things (like the 5th house) are updated in the new paradigm. Now unless my memory is failing, I think I've seen you champion this very idea in one way or another in other threads.

I think we agree that the 5th house relates to the pleasure principle-- what gives us enjoyment. Whether love affairs beyond a casual pleasurable encounter belong here of not is a different matter. With Saturn opposing my 5th house sun and as the traditional ruler of my 5th house, I know something about Saturnine 5th houses, as well. More to the point, for what someone wants out of a dating situation beyond a pleasurable evening, we do have to look at the descendant, which calls up the AC-DC axis.

I always appreciate your thoughts, Waybread (you're one of my favorite posters) but I think we're just going to have to agree to disagree here. When Jupiter last transited my 5th, a romantic relationship began with... an Aquarius, no less! :lol: She has the same sign ASC as mine so our house cusps are similar and thus Jupiter had entered hers at that time too, so this is just more confirmation that it can mean much more than a random encounter with a prostitute! I will give you this --she was dressed as a prostitute on the movie set where we met!

Just a great book on this is Jodie Forrest, The Ascendant.

Thanks, I'll need to pick this up. I have her co-authored Skymates volumes I & II and they're interesting. They count the 5th as part of an "arc of intimacy" from the 4th-8th so crucial to house overlays in synastry.

p.s. Interesting that your nickname is Horus. I think he was the original "child" of the 5th house, as there is some evidence that they originated in Egypt. The Babylonians didn't use them.

This is actually an identification with Horus the Elder, or Heru-Ur, an early creator god. :wink:
 
Last edited:

Horus

Well-known member
- I wouldn't mind dating your friend who has serious chats about dating from the start ... :whistling:

Now don't be getting greedy! You've got something on your plate already, mister, and so does she! :tongue:

- I suspect Saturn influences both the 5th and 6th houses for me. I've spent plenty of time researching both and I think it's both. I haven't been averse to 'light affairs' so perhaps Saturn has more influence in the 6th. The retrograde motion has to have some effect though.

I'm not averse to them coming my way either, but how we go through them (and whether we can even sustain light or casual) is something else I think. Regardless of where Saturn is activating (or different interpretations of houses), I wouldn't expect an afflicted Virgo Moon nor your Venus sq. Saturn aspect to take any amorous involvement very lightly past the first day, yes?
 
Last edited:

byjove

Account Closed
Now don't be getting greedy! You've got something on your plate already, mister, and so does she! :tongue:

lol, no of course. I'm quite content to be honest. :biggrin:

I'm not averse to them coming my way either, but how we go through them (and whether we can even sustain light or casual) is something else I think. Regardless of where Saturn is activating (or different interpretations of houses), I wouldn't expect an afflicted Virgo Moon nor your Venus sq. Saturn aspect to take any amorous involvement very lightly past the first day, yes?

I don't know which you mean (or something else); that I do or don't feel strongly after the first intimate involvement. I can say that it has a powerful emotional effect. I've heard people say that's normal with Cancer ASC. I don't know why, but for me it's true. So much so, the first intimate situation with the new person triggered a few fears and anxieties on my part which led to an early discussion of exclusivity, which was clearly mutually desired. Looking at the chart design, you can see how it happens, Cancer, the Moon's aspects, boom. :love:
 
Top