Square moons long term relationship

Hi all! My boyfriend and I's moon are almost exactly square (4 degrees). We for the most part get along extremely well; we have some harmonious aspects, but also a lot of squares and tough conjunctions.

We are in love and have committed to each other in a serious way, but all of our fights always seem to boil down to this aspect (in my head at least), as just a fundamental difference in the way we are affected by the outside world and even each others emotions in general. Once we are able to see where the other is coming from, it is easy for us to apologize and come back to each other. But our fights can be unintentionally harsh.

Our moons are also both sitting in our 12th houses', which does very little for clarity when speaking about how we feel in times of crisis. We've come along way but it is hard to always come back to the same fight. Any insight or similar stories would be greatly appreciated!!

Could we get exact aspects, or time/place/date?
The chart on its own doesn't tell the accuracy I'd like to work with..
Thanks, o
...you are invited to send a pm with data, if it feels too public here.....

claudkais said:

Hi all! My boyfriend and I's moon are almost exactly square (4 degrees). We for the most part get along extremely well; we have some harmonious aspects, but also a lot of squares and tough conjunctions.

We are in love and have committed to each other in a serious way, but all of our fights always seem to boil down to this aspect (in my head at least), as just a fundamental difference in the way we are affected by the outside world and even each others emotions in general. Once we are able to see where the other is coming from, it is easy for us to apologize and come back to each other. But our fights can be unintentionally harsh.

Our moons are also both sitting in our 12th houses', which does very little for clarity when speaking about how we feel in times of crisis. We've come along way but it is hard to always come back to the same fight. Any insight or similar stories would be greatly appreciated!!

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Thanks for the advice, Oleanna. I've attached both of our charts, and our composite chart for good measure.

my chart has all of my information, his is marked D.

Looking at that composite makes me worry a bit about the future sustainability of the relationship. But then again, you both have the same natal Saturn squares to Mercury etc, so the composite is going to mirror the natal trends. It is tough though because having the same squares as your partner can compound the tension sometimes and not necessarily assuage it.

In the composite you have a couple of difficult midpoints. The Sun/Mercury Midpoint = Saturn. [by squares] And the Sun/Pluto midpointt=Mercury . [by conjunction]

According to Ebertin:

Sun/Mercury=Saturn——Inhibitions in thinking, pessimism, …thinking of separation or parting, farewell


Sun/Pluto=Mercury——the striving for power, attainment of rulership, arrogance, A nerve crisis


Mercury being sandwiched by Sun/Pluto is tough because Mercury feels intense pressure. And Mercury does not want to admit any wrongdoing or any flaws when feeling overpowered.
It makes me wonder about your arguments, and worry that you both might say mean things that you wish you could take back. The problem is, with the Saturn in the first squaring it all, nothing really changes? I think that you both might feel that it is the other person that needs to make important changes in order to make things work well in the future.

thanks again Katydid

Based on our charts we definitely are feeling/going through similar struggles. We have both had similar difficulties growing up (for wildly different reasons) which I think is something that bonds us.

I think I tend to be the 'mercury person' in our relationships. When we argue, I am often the one to articulate (not always without harshness) the exact pain I am feeling and often times during those moments, BF will melt into understanding and we are able to move forward into a conversation about our feelings and how to better understand the other. I have always boiled this down to the deeply rational Aqua moon in him vs the deeply irrational Scorpio moon in me, but the midpoint descriptions intrigue me.

We have been together for 3 years, love at first sight kind of deal and I've never drawn a synastry chart that doesn't say we aren't the best match. Yet we jive and I know now that good synastry is not a be-all end-all, just a way to see where our issues lie (and maybe how to work on them to cause the least pain but also growth).

Well, the good news is your Venus is right on his descendant. And your Venus is the only thing in your chart that is not besieged by the malefic squares. So he feels and experiences the 'best' of you. He sees you in your best light most of the time.


His Jupiter aligns there with your Venus. So I see why you have a LoveAtFirstSight connection and it endures. Your relationship brings great benefit and grace to both of you.

Those squares to Saturn can translate into 'UsAgainstTheWorld' if you can stay tightly united and bonded. It sounds like that is the way it is working now. And maybe it takes another person with that very difficult Saturn/Mercury square to be able to withstand and coexist with yours.

I had this aspect with my ex-fiance. Despite his Moon/Jupiter being conjunct my Sun and his Sun trine my Sun, having square Moons created friction and a feeling of the other person not quite giving what we needed. I'm direct, open, quick with emotional expression, he was evasive, retiring, and often felt overwhelmed by his emotions so took time to process them. I found his way of dealing with emotions to be tiring, and vice versa. This wasn't what ultimately ended our relationship and was ameliorated by our overall synastry but it never went away.

Our Moons are mutable so we could dance around the issue a bit but I can see where the fights arise with your fixed Moons. I also think his Mars Rx in Cancer could be a big factor. My ex also has Mars Rx.

I can definitely relate to the not getting exactly what you need. I think what keeps us (if only slightly) on the same page is both of us having 12th house moons. Fixed moons are intense, but I've only ever dated aqua or Scorpio moons which maybe helps me more with the understanding.

The Mars rx has been a little tough to deal with as he always wants to help, whenever I am not happy he is looking for a way to help me. It's frustrating because the cancer Mars/aqua moon combo is always wanting to help but never sure how with my Scorpio "I'll do it myself" lifestlye. How did you deal with your exes Mars rx?

claudkais said:

I can definitely relate to the not getting exactly what you need. I think what keeps us (if only slightly) on the same page is both of us having 12th house moons. Fixed moons are intense, but I've only ever dated aqua or Scorpio moons which maybe helps me more with the understanding.

The Mars rx has been a little tough to deal with as he always wants to help, whenever I am not happy he is looking for a way to help me. It's frustrating because the cancer Mars/aqua moon combo is always wanting to help but never sure how with my Scorpio "I'll do it myself" lifestlye. How did you deal with your exes Mars rx?

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I didn't...that's why we're not together.




Kidding.

It was pretty frustrating at times. With his Mars Rx (in Capricorn, in 8th house), he simply did not want to show his frustration and anger with things. The indirect nature of his Pisces Moon and Sun/Neptune worked "well" with his Mars, in that regard. He kept his responses about things in, until they built up to where he couldn't hold it in any longer. Then he'd have a laundry list of things that made him unhappy, many of which occurred 6 months-year+ earlier. I started doing regular check-ins -- "What did you think about that?", "How did you feel about that?" I wouldn't settle for an, "I don't know".

My ex would help in more practical ways but whenever he would go overboard I would just remind him of the sort of situations and points in time where I would want his help and when I wouldn't.