Extreme inner-rage, mommy issues, obsessive personality
- Thread starter GeminiSun
- Start date
O.K. and ?...Any change in this ?
Your are 26 years old now - what is your problem with your mother right now about?
Here are nice people listening - you can talk to.
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Kite
Well-known member
In case you were wondering - yes transiting Mars at the time you posted was conjunct your natal Pluto and progressed Moon. Solar Arc ascendant is also conjunct your natal Moon.
One interesting development for you in late February is your progressed Saturn will retrograde into Aquarius which is it's domicile meaning it should feel more at home. Given the whole sign view I've provided, it moves from your 5th house to your 4th house so perhaps 5th house matters will improve.
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She doesn't accept me for who I am. I have a 1st House Moon which I think makes a lot of sense. A good connection with my mother but a little resentment because she never accepted me for "me."
I hope. The last 10 years have been very hard for me. Thank you!
Hello GeminSun,
your mother is shown with uranus - ruling your 4th house - she might have been not very much reliable for you in your childhood and she could change her mind within a second - you never knew what expected you in the next moment and it was difficult for you to feel yourself safe and really at home and welcomed.
But with uranus conjuncting neptune - as ruler of your 5th house father and saturn on zero degree pisces in 4th house- she might have had a lot of more responsibility and more to look for as your father wasn't much helpful to her as her husband (?) - and you got in the middle of her anger on him and the anger between them.
But I suppose - most of the times it wasn't about you yourself - more about your both parents and their own interacting having power fights with both inconjuncting mars in leo - not having much looks on you as a child. What left an injury in yourself with your leo-chiron - that you personally was not worthy enough - but for both - not only for your mother.
In fact both of them are as well shown that they supported you very much to get selfindependant early with uranus and neptune sextile pluto as your AC-ruler in 1st house.
Your inner rage is more that you felt compelled to do something - you didn't want to do. But what you can stop now - as you are adult now.
.
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Hey. I read your post on the group and even before I clicked I was wondering if you have pluto somewhere close to moon. And I clicked and I looked for pluto and there it was pretty close to moon. Every time some major planet aspects it you feel the surge in these emotions because of uncontrollable changes in the situation. Your neptune and Uranus are tapping into this as well so it's not escapable. I have something similar but it's in fourth house so it's part of my life at home, not a part of my personality. You have it in first house so it is part of who you are. Your experiences with your mother have affected/shaped your personality. Pluto works internally, so when you say that your mother doesn't accept you for who you are, it's not just because of her expectations and personality, it's also because you haven't projected your true self yet. I have lived through pluto experiences so i can tell you from experience that unless you accept Pluto's objectives for you, you won't be able to settle any of the issues related to it. And the issues related to pluto are major ones, so try to figure out what they are. I have been trying to figure out mine and working them out consciously for 5 years and this community has helped me alot
so here is a more detailed version of what i posted a few minutes ago. was using my phone but your thread made me want to open my laptop and sit and write properly.
pluto digs out hidden things. moon is about emotions, specially those related to mother, or other women in the surroundings, mother land, etc. since i am not a trained astrologer, i am going to talk with reference to my experiences and the information i have collected during last five years about my own issues. and i hope that trained and professional ones reading this thread will correct me and add to this reply.
pluto is obsessive. and if it is close to moon or in the house ruled by moon it effects it in day to day life so much it takes over all emotions. pluto makes you agitated and angry if you are not able to channel its energy. considering that your pluto and moon are in aspect with neptune and uranus, you are disillusioned as well as agitated because of the emotions that pluto is trying to dig out.
My experiences have taught me that natal positions and aspects remain a part of your life till the last breath. they dont change. and we cannot change people around us either. so the only option that is manageable to some extent is working around the placements and aspects we have. bad relationship with parents specially mothers can make you feel abandoned, rejected, and in fact trashed like anything. you are probably experiencing something similar and that is what pluto is trying to bring to the surface so that you can work on it. but your uranus is not letting you focus on it because uranus sometimes create situations that can be distracting and keep you from working on your issues.
Since you know or feel that your mother doesnt accept you when you act yourself, is there a way to distance yourself from her for a little while. I know that if physically going away was possible, you would have done it already(issues with motherland). what I mean by an attempt to distance yourself, I am talking about some activity or people that you can spend more time with.
you have saturn return coming up in a few years. your natal saturn and moon are square, which means these issues will be at the forefront during that transit.
you have north node in second ruled by jupiter. that is where i see some help that you can use to get out of this vortex of pluto-moon and uranus-neptune exchanges of uncomfortable energy. since your north node is also opposite your sun, it will be difficult in the beginning but eventually if you remain consistent it will begin to workout because jupiter is also sextile your moon which has a significant role in your problems. the reason I began to look at north node is because it represent aspirations, and when we are not able to work towards out aspirations, we begin to notice all the things that are wrong in our life or may have hindered our progress. so if you clear the path towards your north node, you will be able to look away from the problem at least for some time. because this problem is not going to go away since it is part of your natal chart. clearing the path towards north node requires preparation. Jupiter rules your north node and it is in 11th house. 11th house jupiter means you can get help from community, social circle or even people at work. so you need to improve your social engagement. this jupiter is sextile to the moon so if you work on it, it will help you get close to your path to your apsirations(north node) and also help you use your emotions, particularly the negative ones to give you the energy to propel yourself towards your life goals.
since pluto is in first house, these issues are very obvious in your personality. people around you might notice them as well, and it may make you come across as some what difficult or pessimistic. working on jupiter i.e the 11th house concerns will help you improve these perception about yourself. again this is something that will help you make way towards your aspirations. issues due to moon pluto conjunction make a person want to get out of the environment, infact completely escape the place where these issues are anchored(motherland, mother, moon, etc.) i hope I am making some sense. and i am typing really poorly, sorry for that, really pressed for time right now.
oh and another thing i noticed is that your ninth is ruled by moon. and technically ninth house is jupiter's territory. so working on jupiter related areas will at least begin to clear some unresolved issues. btw jupiter can be excessive as well so be careful how much time and energy you spend on socializing or networking. dont go overboard. start slow
pluto digs out hidden things. moon is about emotions, specially those related to mother, or other women in the surroundings, mother land, etc. since i am not a trained astrologer, i am going to talk with reference to my experiences and the information i have collected during last five years about my own issues. and i hope that trained and professional ones reading this thread will correct me and add to this reply.
pluto is obsessive. and if it is close to moon or in the house ruled by moon it effects it in day to day life so much it takes over all emotions. pluto makes you agitated and angry if you are not able to channel its energy. considering that your pluto and moon are in aspect with neptune and uranus, you are disillusioned as well as agitated because of the emotions that pluto is trying to dig out.
My experiences have taught me that natal positions and aspects remain a part of your life till the last breath. they dont change. and we cannot change people around us either. so the only option that is manageable to some extent is working around the placements and aspects we have. bad relationship with parents specially mothers can make you feel abandoned, rejected, and in fact trashed like anything. you are probably experiencing something similar and that is what pluto is trying to bring to the surface so that you can work on it. but your uranus is not letting you focus on it because uranus sometimes create situations that can be distracting and keep you from working on your issues.
Since you know or feel that your mother doesnt accept you when you act yourself, is there a way to distance yourself from her for a little while. I know that if physically going away was possible, you would have done it already(issues with motherland). what I mean by an attempt to distance yourself, I am talking about some activity or people that you can spend more time with.
you have saturn return coming up in a few years. your natal saturn and moon are square, which means these issues will be at the forefront during that transit.
you have north node in second ruled by jupiter. that is where i see some help that you can use to get out of this vortex of pluto-moon and uranus-neptune exchanges of uncomfortable energy. since your north node is also opposite your sun, it will be difficult in the beginning but eventually if you remain consistent it will begin to workout because jupiter is also sextile your moon which has a significant role in your problems. the reason I began to look at north node is because it represent aspirations, and when we are not able to work towards out aspirations, we begin to notice all the things that are wrong in our life or may have hindered our progress. so if you clear the path towards your north node, you will be able to look away from the problem at least for some time. because this problem is not going to go away since it is part of your natal chart. clearing the path towards north node requires preparation. Jupiter rules your north node and it is in 11th house. 11th house jupiter means you can get help from community, social circle or even people at work. so you need to improve your social engagement. this jupiter is sextile to the moon so if you work on it, it will help you get close to your path to your apsirations(north node) and also help you use your emotions, particularly the negative ones to give you the energy to propel yourself towards your life goals.
since pluto is in first house, these issues are very obvious in your personality. people around you might notice them as well, and it may make you come across as some what difficult or pessimistic. working on jupiter i.e the 11th house concerns will help you improve these perception about yourself. again this is something that will help you make way towards your aspirations. issues due to moon pluto conjunction make a person want to get out of the environment, infact completely escape the place where these issues are anchored(motherland, mother, moon, etc.) i hope I am making some sense. and i am typing really poorly, sorry for that, really pressed for time right now.
oh and another thing i noticed is that your ninth is ruled by moon. and technically ninth house is jupiter's territory. so working on jupiter related areas will at least begin to clear some unresolved issues. btw jupiter can be excessive as well so be careful how much time and energy you spend on socializing or networking. dont go overboard. start slow
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Harmelia
Well-known member
[FONT="]GeminiSun,[/FONT]
[FONT="]I have a few thoughts to share on this Christmas day. I hope you have a wonderful day!
[/FONT]
[FONT="]I see some good comments others have made in regard to Pluto-Moon. They ARE out of sign though – Scorpio ASC and Sag Moon, so there is some tension there on that account. Some astrologers don’t consider out of sign conjunctions "real" conjunctions. I tend to see them as difficult to blend or frictional, but they are also easier to separate out and focus on. Scorpio and Pluto can be obsessive just on their own, but aside from the Pluto-Moon conjunction, I would look to other things in your chart to cause the difficulty you speak of.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]Saturn is at 0 degrees Pisces in the 4th house of home and family. It is square Pluto and the Moon. Now that tells a very difficult home life. Pluto-Moon on its own might feel intense but not necessarily bad. Saturn squaring them from the 4th house feels bad. And Saturn in Pisces gives you more inclination to go off the rails emotionally.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]But I would also say that Sun in Gemini in the 8th can spell obsessiveness too. Gemini Sun can actually be quite mentally active to the point of obsessiveness and in the 8th house – Pluto and Scorpio’s natural house, that tendency can be exacerbated. Virgo and Scorpio together can be very obsessive and your Sun is in aspect with Venus there in Virgo’s natural house, the 6th. And then when Mars conjunct Chiron is in Leo conjunct the MC – well – you want very much to be noticed and seen and applauded for who you are – so not being "seen" by mother is all that more painful.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]You have South Node of the Moon in close conjunction with Sun in Gemini, 8th – so you brought the wound into this life from a past life – and now that it’s being recreated you have another chance to heal it. The way to heal this kind of wound is to train yourself not to care quite so much how other people view you. I would say Uranus and Neptune in Capricorn in the 3rd are there to help you go within to find (perceive) your sense of worth, integrity and self-knowledge. Ultimately, it’s how we perceive our own selves that matters – and when we are in touch with our own soul nature, we can pick and choose our friends better and see our own self-love reflected back to us.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]If I were you, I’d start to see Pluto in Scorpio as your directive to truly transform this wound. It’s strong there. You have the power to do so. People might see you as intense and powerful – and you could make positive use of that should you choose to use it positively. The Moon in Sagittarius – can be quite optimistic and goal-oriented. It wants to have faith in yourself and others. It wants to be philosophical about life – that’s great. It’s interested in many things – embraces life with enthusiasm. When conjunct planets are in different signs, it’s actually easier to feel them both separately and actually focus on one without the other. Choose to focus on Sag and develop positive Sag qualities. Choose to focus on Pluto at other times and play with how you can express your power physically as well as in relationships. Maybe you have the potential to help others change their lives with Pluto in 1st house.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]North Node is in Sagittarius in the 2nd house – you are to expand and learn about yourself in new ways. The Moon is there to help. Pluto gives the power to change. If you tend to be obsessive, then try to use that energy to change positively and in doing so, maybe you’ll learn to be less obsessive. Jupiter rules your Moon and it's in the 11th house in Libra. That could be very nice for attracting friends who love you.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]With a Gemini Sun conjunct your south node wound – you are focused on the wound. You are meant to focus on it to heal it. That’s good. It is your purpose in life. No, it isn’t comfortable at all. But, in time, you can heal it. I speak from experience at age 69. I have Saturn in first house square my Sag Moon conjunct IC, and my Sun is in the 8th house along with Mercury and Mars. My mother died never ever having seen me for who I am. There was NO connection with my mother and it was a painful relationship. In fact, I was a scapegoat for the whole family and was literally shunned by them all. I was seen as the "bad" person - a total projection. I’ve spent a good portion of my life healing that wound. But I have. I just want you to know, it’s possible to heal this kind of wound. It’s a terrible wound. A difficult wound. Just know that you are not your wound. You can separate out your identity from it. You can meditate and learn objectivity – to become an objective observer of your thoughts instead of being identified with your thoughts. I went to therapy and that helped too – quite a lot. Use whatever tools you find attractive. You are not your pain. The pain can be released.I got into astrology in order to understand myself and family better. It's played a significant role in my own healing. That's why I'm here. You aren't alone. There are many people who have suffered very poor relationships with their parents. So, you are in good company! I hope 2020 brings you some joy in healing even if in some small way. Always look for small improvements in yourself and celebrate them. They add up. You just have to have faith that this is true. A big hug to you on Christmas!
[/FONT]
[FONT="]I have a few thoughts to share on this Christmas day. I hope you have a wonderful day!
[/FONT]
[FONT="]I see some good comments others have made in regard to Pluto-Moon. They ARE out of sign though – Scorpio ASC and Sag Moon, so there is some tension there on that account. Some astrologers don’t consider out of sign conjunctions "real" conjunctions. I tend to see them as difficult to blend or frictional, but they are also easier to separate out and focus on. Scorpio and Pluto can be obsessive just on their own, but aside from the Pluto-Moon conjunction, I would look to other things in your chart to cause the difficulty you speak of.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]Saturn is at 0 degrees Pisces in the 4th house of home and family. It is square Pluto and the Moon. Now that tells a very difficult home life. Pluto-Moon on its own might feel intense but not necessarily bad. Saturn squaring them from the 4th house feels bad. And Saturn in Pisces gives you more inclination to go off the rails emotionally.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]But I would also say that Sun in Gemini in the 8th can spell obsessiveness too. Gemini Sun can actually be quite mentally active to the point of obsessiveness and in the 8th house – Pluto and Scorpio’s natural house, that tendency can be exacerbated. Virgo and Scorpio together can be very obsessive and your Sun is in aspect with Venus there in Virgo’s natural house, the 6th. And then when Mars conjunct Chiron is in Leo conjunct the MC – well – you want very much to be noticed and seen and applauded for who you are – so not being "seen" by mother is all that more painful.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]You have South Node of the Moon in close conjunction with Sun in Gemini, 8th – so you brought the wound into this life from a past life – and now that it’s being recreated you have another chance to heal it. The way to heal this kind of wound is to train yourself not to care quite so much how other people view you. I would say Uranus and Neptune in Capricorn in the 3rd are there to help you go within to find (perceive) your sense of worth, integrity and self-knowledge. Ultimately, it’s how we perceive our own selves that matters – and when we are in touch with our own soul nature, we can pick and choose our friends better and see our own self-love reflected back to us.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]If I were you, I’d start to see Pluto in Scorpio as your directive to truly transform this wound. It’s strong there. You have the power to do so. People might see you as intense and powerful – and you could make positive use of that should you choose to use it positively. The Moon in Sagittarius – can be quite optimistic and goal-oriented. It wants to have faith in yourself and others. It wants to be philosophical about life – that’s great. It’s interested in many things – embraces life with enthusiasm. When conjunct planets are in different signs, it’s actually easier to feel them both separately and actually focus on one without the other. Choose to focus on Sag and develop positive Sag qualities. Choose to focus on Pluto at other times and play with how you can express your power physically as well as in relationships. Maybe you have the potential to help others change their lives with Pluto in 1st house.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]North Node is in Sagittarius in the 2nd house – you are to expand and learn about yourself in new ways. The Moon is there to help. Pluto gives the power to change. If you tend to be obsessive, then try to use that energy to change positively and in doing so, maybe you’ll learn to be less obsessive. Jupiter rules your Moon and it's in the 11th house in Libra. That could be very nice for attracting friends who love you.
[/FONT]
[FONT="]With a Gemini Sun conjunct your south node wound – you are focused on the wound. You are meant to focus on it to heal it. That’s good. It is your purpose in life. No, it isn’t comfortable at all. But, in time, you can heal it. I speak from experience at age 69. I have Saturn in first house square my Sag Moon conjunct IC, and my Sun is in the 8th house along with Mercury and Mars. My mother died never ever having seen me for who I am. There was NO connection with my mother and it was a painful relationship. In fact, I was a scapegoat for the whole family and was literally shunned by them all. I was seen as the "bad" person - a total projection. I’ve spent a good portion of my life healing that wound. But I have. I just want you to know, it’s possible to heal this kind of wound. It’s a terrible wound. A difficult wound. Just know that you are not your wound. You can separate out your identity from it. You can meditate and learn objectivity – to become an objective observer of your thoughts instead of being identified with your thoughts. I went to therapy and that helped too – quite a lot. Use whatever tools you find attractive. You are not your pain. The pain can be released.I got into astrology in order to understand myself and family better. It's played a significant role in my own healing. That's why I'm here. You aren't alone. There are many people who have suffered very poor relationships with their parents. So, you are in good company! I hope 2020 brings you some joy in healing even if in some small way. Always look for small improvements in yourself and celebrate them. They add up. You just have to have faith that this is true. A big hug to you on Christmas!
[/FONT]
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