Thank you for your thoughtful reply, Stella. I would make a couple of comments.
Referring to your 1:
I did not suggest that the love between you was a "facade" which is defined as a show, a front, a pretense. Rather that it is only the very beginning, the "falling in love." Then that must settle and then ripen over time through the kind of adversity that you faced.
For example, how you described his returning to his family "after 18 yrs marriage, that it was broken and he did´t feel her as a woman/partner as he did with me (more as a daughter he had to take care of and stand) but he´d just continue because he felt responsible for her and child and just deal with a boring life." Well, that's love. Not the light and shiny kind, but the difficult, not turning away kind.
Referring to your 2.
Saturn creates obstacles that teach us life lessons the hard way. It is foundational. It also creates unbreakable bonds, for better and for worse. I would expect that if the circumstances were such that you were able to become partners, it would be very difficult to break up. If things are good, it would hold you together. If things are bad, it would keep you together. Kind of like how you are still bound to the relationship right now.
It is worthy being cautious with those who have such Saturn contacts to your natal chart, because we can get into relationships that we can't get out of, even if we want to.
I hope this offers some food for thought and also some support for you during this challenging time.
Please take good care of yourself.
I am wishing you the very best.