Optimistic Approach
Well-known member
The place I had worked at since 2005 closed down beginning of 2008 and I was left jobless. It wasn't major. I was only 19 and it was something I would do after school 'til I turned 18 and started full-time. It was a great oppurtunity but I knew it wasn't something I planned on sticking with. May of 2009 things began to crumble with my great love, (whole story of its own) and everything I waited on was put to rest in early November that year. I was crushed. I felt like a part of me had died inside but I also felt renewed in a way. I knew I deserved so much more. I began cutting certain friends out of my life for no apparent reason. I felt like everything turned superficial in my world and it wasn't working for me.
Summertime came around and my live-in grandmother had a falling out with my mother and she left. My mother severed ties with her brother and one of her sisters due to everything that had happened. I am not so much attached to my family, other than my parents and siblings, so it didn't phase me so much. I couldn't see how people like that were considered family anyhow.
As I welcomed 2010 I was still struggling with a few things and felt so out of step. That summer I found comfort in an old friend and we became really close. It was nice to have that feeling again although it didn't last long... September hit and struck hard. I felt myself fall into the depths of depression. My childhood cat had passed away, right there in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could possibly do to stop it, to keep her just a little bit longer. I fell into the deepest, darkest days of my life. I began slipping under constant waves of sadness and guilt. I lost the one thing that had been certain in my life for the last 14 years. The one constant source of love and pure acceptance in the ugliest of days. It was rough and I'm not ashamed to admit to that. I felt like it was one loss after the other.
We began renovations on the house shortly after and I felt inspired within that time. I enjoy that sort of thing. But as soon as everything was finished I felt empty once again, reminded of the past; I feel like I'm stuck there sometimes and whenever something goes wrong I instantly go back to all these painful events and it hurts. I'm not a frequent visitor of the past and I tend to accept life's events and hope for the best but it sure has been trying times.
Who I am today is a far stretch from who I was. I'm more aware of a lot of things that my care-free attitude was blind to. I will say, a set-back doesn't keep me down for long and I'm generally upbeat & in love with life but it certainly has been a difficult past few years. I originally thought that Pluto was transiting my 4th house (totally fit the bill!) but it's in the 3rd. I know that in the beginning of 2010 Pluto opposed my Sun. I also have Saturn transiting my 1st house, which I'm not sure when that began. I'm not the best when it comes to transits and would greatly appreciate some insight.
Summertime came around and my live-in grandmother had a falling out with my mother and she left. My mother severed ties with her brother and one of her sisters due to everything that had happened. I am not so much attached to my family, other than my parents and siblings, so it didn't phase me so much. I couldn't see how people like that were considered family anyhow.
As I welcomed 2010 I was still struggling with a few things and felt so out of step. That summer I found comfort in an old friend and we became really close. It was nice to have that feeling again although it didn't last long... September hit and struck hard. I felt myself fall into the depths of depression. My childhood cat had passed away, right there in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could possibly do to stop it, to keep her just a little bit longer. I fell into the deepest, darkest days of my life. I began slipping under constant waves of sadness and guilt. I lost the one thing that had been certain in my life for the last 14 years. The one constant source of love and pure acceptance in the ugliest of days. It was rough and I'm not ashamed to admit to that. I felt like it was one loss after the other.
We began renovations on the house shortly after and I felt inspired within that time. I enjoy that sort of thing. But as soon as everything was finished I felt empty once again, reminded of the past; I feel like I'm stuck there sometimes and whenever something goes wrong I instantly go back to all these painful events and it hurts. I'm not a frequent visitor of the past and I tend to accept life's events and hope for the best but it sure has been trying times.
Who I am today is a far stretch from who I was. I'm more aware of a lot of things that my care-free attitude was blind to. I will say, a set-back doesn't keep me down for long and I'm generally upbeat & in love with life but it certainly has been a difficult past few years. I originally thought that Pluto was transiting my 4th house (totally fit the bill!) but it's in the 3rd. I know that in the beginning of 2010 Pluto opposed my Sun. I also have Saturn transiting my 1st house, which I'm not sure when that began. I'm not the best when it comes to transits and would greatly appreciate some insight.
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