Thank you so much for your response. Yes, I was sexually abused around the age of 10 and my mother told me that I was lying and tried to hide it. I never felt loved by my mother. My father was a severe alcoholic. My sister was my mother’s pride and joy. Mom and Dad split when I was 16 when she was arrested for domestic violence. My father passed away in 2003 when I was 18. My mother was very controlling. I couldn’t take certain classes in high school because she didn’t approve and i wasn’t allowed to date unless she really liked the boy. I am no longer in contact with my mother or my sister due to something that happened between my ex and my sister and my mother covering for my sister.
QUOTE=PurpleReign;991427]Hi
Admittedly, I only really know to interpret birth charts in a general way and won't be as much help as Waybread, but I did want to try and help with your question to the best of my own abilities as well.
You have Pluto in the 4th, so do I. Tough placement. In short, my own childhood was definitely more loving and stable than are very many people's childhoods that I hear about and I do have a good and close relationship with my parents, but things looked better and more ideal on the outside than in reality. My parents don't have a happy marriage and I don't remember a single day that my parents weren't shouting at each other.
I often felt embarrassed by the fact that they weren't more typical in the sense that they had a good and healthy relationship, so I always felt the need to hide my home life from friends and I'd embellish in the sense that I'd always imply my family is close and stable, and to an extent we are. During any kind of emergency, everyone does get concerned and helps in any way possible. Everyone is on speaking terms. Yet there is and always has been utter tension. I never in my life felt like I had a normal family and it left me traumatized. This is all just in a nutshell -- every family has problems, but my families fights and lack of warmth and normalcy left me not wanting a family of my own -- I just don't want to hijack your post any further, lol!
I imagine that the Pluto in the 4th placement makes you feel psychologically traumatized. Perhaps you feel a longing to feel the void and you want to feel some kind of normalcy and closure, but there was (and maybe still is) tension and power struggles within your family that leave you feeling, "Oh, they're never going to change. I was robbed of a decent childhood" and you're broken. Maybe one or both of your parents were very domineering, authoritative, demanding, perhaps violent, controlling, overbearing, etc. All things that leave psychological scars.
Your Saturn in the 4th would additionally imply that home life/childhood is the area where the bulk of your karmic lessons will be. Saturn in the 4th may imply older parents who are generationally way different from you and your peers' families. It may been you grew up in a cold, aloof, unemotional environment with little expression of love or warmth. Difficult placement. Both pluto and saturn are in Scorpio, so if I had to guess, maybe your home life was one of power struggles, psychological abuse (on rare occasions maybe sexual, but that wasn't the case with me and I assume probably not with you, but it's possible), domineering and emotionally draining environment.
To answer your question, your Moon and Sun are in fire signs. It shows your inner self is aligned with your emotional nature. Your Moon in Leo does give you more of a "fighter" and "survivor" mentality than that of many people and your sun in Sag in the 5th house of Leo solidifies that. Moon, your emotional nature, is in positive aspect to your Mercury (your mental/intellectual state). It also positively aspects Sun, and Sun and Mercury are in positive harmony with each other. I think you have the potential to work through your childhood traumas beautifully. Your sun, Moon, and Mercury are in good harmony, so they work together easier than if they were squares or in opposition. Again, yes, you certainly can overcome your troubles. It will be hard because childhood traumas are extremely difficult. Depending on what you went through, you may never fully get over it, but you have the potential for great mental and emotional stability and inner satisfaction because of the fact that they are all three in fire signs (which, incidentally, are more positive by nature and Sag itself is known for optimism and positivity) and in good harmony.
Best of luck. And don't assume just because you aren't trauma free that you can't be happy or make tremendous improvement. We all carry some trauma with us. Some people's burdens are heavier than others. It's about finding what form of therapy (be it a soothing and fullfilling hobby or real therapy) works best for you and having the willpower to keep moving. Accept that the past happened and understand that that doesn't mean your future is doomed.[/QUOTE]