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  #1  
Unread 05-25-2016, 06:26 PM
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Vehicle, & Family Problems....

Hi all,

About a month ago my van became a paperweight in our yard and my husband has spent nothing but time and money on it. We have pretty much drained our savings on it.

About a week ago our Truck then starts having coolent problems and now needs a new radiator!

My father (whome I'm not close to) moved in with us back in January because he lost his job. Since then my husband and I have been growing apart. My question is will the vehicles get fixed any time soon, and does any one see a time frame of my father leaving finally!?!?

It's been terribly stressful, I had a very hard childhood because of this man. He can't seem to find a job that will last. I'm overwhelmed. I have three young kids of my own to be concerned for and a husband who needs me to.

I realize I have Uranus transiting my 4th but this is to much!

Below I'll post mine and my fathers chart w/transits to be more helpful.

-Jade
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Unread 05-25-2016, 06:28 PM
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Re: Vehicle, & Family Problems....

My Fathers Chart


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  #3  
Unread 05-25-2016, 07:34 PM
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Re: Vehicle, & Family Problems....

Hi,

As for the vehicle problems.. vehicle,technological, and communication breakdowns of all kinds very often occur during a mercury retrograde. Mercury went retrograde in Taurus April 28th. Sounds like your truck problems coincided with that time frame. Good news is Mercury is direct now, went direct on the 22nd. However, Mars is still retrograde and will be until June 29th. I am pretty sure mars has domain over transportation having to due with trucks and such. However, I may be wrong. You can play it safe and wait if you can. But mercury being direct certainly would aid with more success in repairs. Repairs during merc rx usually never work, best to wait.

As for your father. I will leave that for someone else, as I'm not getting a feel for it in the chart.
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  #4  
Unread 05-25-2016, 07:40 PM
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Re: Vehicle, & Family Problems....

Just want to add..

His 5th sag. You sag sun. Your IC aries. His sun aries.

nifty, that is so by the book astrological.
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  #5  
Unread 05-25-2016, 08:11 PM
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Re: Vehicle, & Family Problems....

Thank you ashriia, I appreciate the insight!!

-Jade
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  #6  
Unread 05-25-2016, 08:41 PM
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Re: Vehicle, & Family Problems....

The ruler of your 7th is Mercury and it is located in your natal 1st involved in a thick stellium. 1st house is identity - how you present yourself to the world - and even though it's Sag on ascendant - happy go lucky - the capricorn truths of how you see yourself, are being tested by moon-pluto transits over them recently.

you have the '89 stellium like my son does, and sag on asc. too - and the capricorn planets are getting hit hard with Pluto transits, pending saturn transits and the square from Uranus in Aries to those cardinal points.

Mercury is part of that and I think the real matter is that your marriage is being tested by these circumstances - and you are taking a look at the problems/fractures, whatever, of the marriage. Other people or other things occur in our lives that rock us and sometimes, where we look to our mates for strength and hope - sometimes we find weakness or resentments - ours or their's - or apathy or overwhemedness - and then we start freaking out.

If anything - pluto is giving you a good opportunity to re-evalute the things about yourself that give you 'identity' - is it stable, don't rock the boat circumstances? is it a need to be in control of every changing or disturbing event? or is it the lack of structure in your life that is causing you to fret - nothing is working out?

Your identity as a strong parent, mate and family member is to remember that your family can weather the storm better together than at odds with each other.

Does dad know how to fix cars? Either way - regardless of his current situation and the burden it's causing - he likely has some valuable life skill or experience that can be utilized to ease the burden. Including him in the solution will likely work better than seeing him as an intrusion on that control that is currently out of control.

Everyone has a purpose in times like these - clear expectations, cautions and strength in numbers.

Once Pluto leaves 1st and moves to 2nd - a set of deeper, solid values about yourself will become your priority - so it's a good time to figure out what they are now - because when pluto hit's 2nd - all the rest of the inconsequential gets cut off like a limb.

Not ominous, but strengthening - the ultimate soldier story, really - how strong am I? Good soldiers know that they need the group to survive together.

It ***** - money, change, fear - but in it you'll find strengths you never realized. Get that cappy organization and planning going and make sure everyone in the family has a job to do during the rough road. It will work out best that way. Also - when Pluto gets around to conjunct your Venus - you'll likely see really good fruits from your new crop.

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  #7  
Unread 05-26-2016, 06:36 PM
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Re: Vehicle, & Family Problems....

-Kitchy

As always I enjoy your replies
Regarding my father, granted he has life skills that can and are sometimes useful. He is far to self centered and an extremely impatient person. It's not healthy nor has it ever been for me to be around him.

You are indeed right about Mercury. My husband has MercuryR/7th and in synastry it falls right in my 1st Our biggest hurdle "mostly" is getting him to open up about.... well anything! Lately it's been very difficult to even feel loved. Below I posted our synastry, you'll see where communication is a huge problem. With all the years of relocating, Army, vehicle/money trouble, ex spouses, now my dad living here for months it's been a real struggle to stay positive. God/ess willing we will weather this storm.

-Jade

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Unread 05-26-2016, 10:37 PM
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Re: Vehicle, & Family Problems....

hi jade
I looked at your composite with your father as to me the most serious problem is your husband starting to feel isolated.
the composite with your father has to strong diametrically opposed patterns.
the first is his selfish and egotistical mental state.pluto is conjunct the ascendant and square to Saturn and the midpoint is square to Saturn with moon conjunct to pluto. also nessus/Uranus midpoint is conjunct to mars.
these patterns make him out to be as i said selfish, manipulating and abusive. moon with pluto could how she has past on or is out of your life at the least.
so the question is why would you have anything to do with him now, especially as it is endangering your marriage.
the answer seems to be that the composite venus is opposed to Jupiter and square the node. this shows the affection and joy that you two have for each other even though it doesn't look like he deserves it.
the south node was conjunct to venus on april 23 and the north node was conjunct Jupiter on may 18. so you largesse toward him is obvious from the transit.
but on the other hand ,i have to assume he has played on these good feelings before. that is you have helped him out before. my gut feeling is that he is using you as he knows he has this sway over you.

you describe you husband a very closed about his emotions anyway and now he is having to see the positive connection with you and your father and it is driving him further away. it seems you married your husband because of the emotional distance he has is similar to what you were subjected to by your father.

I think your husband is not showing love at all because of your father's presence. in one sense he is jealous of the hold your father has on you. this also implies that your husband has a similar cold emotional hold on you also.

you are caught between a rock and a hard place.
the only thing I can think of is to adopt a more distant demeanor toward your father. that is be serious to him and do not be light or accepting around him. make him feel your dissatisfaction with the current living condition. continue to show affection to your husband even if he does not reciprocate .

rahu
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  #9  
Unread 05-27-2016, 12:02 AM
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Re: Vehicle, & Family Problems....

Rahu makes an interesting point about your father - as I too was pondering - 'if he makes her so miserable, why is still around?' - and I think this might go back to some of those capricorn control factors I mentioned. Given the moon-pluto issue that rahu mentioned, but exacerbated by capricorn who is not afraid of living in misery or with restrictions, because they don't consider themselves quitters - they will endure all sorts of miserable relationship roles with parents, friends, family members, mates - just because they don't want to release the weird sense of control that it gives them - a familiar bind rather than upset or upheaval.

Also - it may not be that hubby is jealous of father or distant with you because he's a green monster, it might be, like i mentioned earlier - that he resents knowing how badly your father has treated you and yet you have welcomed him into your home. Maybe a loss of trust or respect for you in putting yourself into that situation for sake of not wanting to be the bad guy/gal - but nonetheless, you find yourself stuck in that place with both dad and husband? - hence rahu's rock/hard place analogy.

With all that cappy - you have to be goal oriented to a large degree - and willing to plan a strategy - so work on the strategy to get dad out of the house. Your strategy - not your dad's or husband's. This is about you stepping up to the plate and making some executive decisions for your family as a whole.
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  #10  
Unread 05-27-2016, 03:46 PM
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Re: Vehicle, & Family Problems....

Quote:
Originally Posted by rahu View Post
hi jade
I looked at your composite with your father as to me the most serious problem is your husband starting to feel isolated.
the composite with your father has to strong diametrically opposed patterns.
the first is his selfish and egotistical mental state.pluto is conjunct the ascendant and square to Saturn and the midpoint is square to Saturn with moon conjunct to pluto. also nessus/Uranus midpoint is conjunct to mars.
these patterns make him out to be as i said selfish, manipulating and abusive. moon with pluto could how she has past on or is out of your life at the least.
so the question is why would you have anything to do with him now, especially as it is endangering your marriage.
the answer seems to be that the composite venus is opposed to Jupiter and square the node. this shows the affection and joy that you two have for each other even though it doesn't look like he deserves it.
the south node was conjunct to venus on april 23 and the north node was conjunct Jupiter on may 18. so you largesse toward him is obvious from the transit.
but on the other hand ,i have to assume he has played on these good feelings before. that is you have helped him out before. my gut feeling is that he is using you as he knows he has this sway over you.

you describe you husband a very closed about his emotions anyway and now he is having to see the positive connection with you and your father and it is driving him further away. it seems you married your husband because of the emotional distance he has is similar to what you were subjected to by your father.

I think your husband is not showing love at all because of your father's presence. in one sense he is jealous of the hold your father has on you. this also implies that your husband has a similar cold emotional hold on you also.

you are caught between a rock and a hard place.
the only thing I can think of is to adopt a more distant demeanor toward your father. that is be serious to him and do not be light or accepting around him. make him feel your dissatisfaction with the current living condition. continue to show affection to your husband even if he does not reciprocate .

rahu
Rahu,

Thank you, for taking your time to look in depth at my situation.

My father is indeed all of those things you described above. As a child I felt very afraid, I left home and lived on my own very young. Quitting school was and still is my biggest regret. I won't get into my "war stories" as we all have a past that in some way or another haunts us, but it was a very difficult home because of him. I wouldn't wish my childhood on my worst enemy.

Even now as a grown woman I feel nervous jitters when he pulls into the driveway. I started this thread to see if maybe astrologically someone could predict the time frame of his departure. His Uranus Transiting his MC has a lot to do with his crazy traveling back and fourth to Illinois and Texas. He has a lot of loose ends to tie up. So it's hard for me to tell when exactly he would leave here?

I've gone to my husband many times and told him I can no longer have him here. In a strange way it's as if my dad has that smooth talker "salesman" approach to people and wins them over. My husband gets sucked right in and I normally end up the bad one. My husband doesn't want him here and will speak ill of him behind his back, but cannot find the courage to tell him to leave. I don't understand it at all.

You are also correct on another point you made regarding my husband and fathers similarities. They do indeed have a cold emotional hold on me. I am stuck literally "between a rock and a hard place"! I feel caught like a fly in a web at times.

-Jade
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  #11  
Unread 05-27-2016, 04:06 PM
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Re: Vehicle, & Family Problems....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitchy View Post
Rahu makes an interesting point about your father - as I too was pondering - 'if he makes her so miserable, why is still around?' - and I think this might go back to some of those capricorn control factors I mentioned. Given the moon-pluto issue that rahu mentioned, but exacerbated by capricorn who is not afraid of living in misery or with restrictions, because they don't consider themselves quitters - they will endure all sorts of miserable relationship roles with parents, friends, family members, mates - just because they don't want to release the weird sense of control that it gives them - a familiar bind rather than upset or upheaval.

Also - it may not be that hubby is jealous of father or distant with you because he's a green monster, it might be, like i mentioned earlier - that he resents knowing how badly your father has treated you and yet you have welcomed him into your home. Maybe a loss of trust or respect for you in putting yourself into that situation for sake of not wanting to be the bad guy/gal - but nonetheless, you find yourself stuck in that place with both dad and husband? - hence rahu's rock/hard place analogy.

With all that cappy - you have to be goal oriented to a large degree - and willing to plan a strategy - so work on the strategy to get dad out of the house. Your strategy - not your dad's or husband's. This is about you stepping up to the plate and making some executive decisions for your family as a whole.

-Kitchy

Thanks for they reply.
My father is here because my husband chose to let him come. When he lost his job of 14 years due to two sexual harassment lawsuits and a scuffle with the attorney general my father lost everything. He sold his house around 7 months ago just on the brink of for closure, got rid of most of his belongings, and was a wreck. Technically the lawsuits hit back in 2013. And he hasn't worked a "real" job since. He owns a few things and has a truck now. That's about it. He went from a big to do in the community to living with his kid... Aka me

I never in a million years pictured this happening to my father. At first it was gratifying in a way to see him suffer like he'd made my step mother and I do, but then when I realized he wasn't trying to find work I knew it wasn't long before family and friends would need to take him in. None of his siblings (4) would do it, the only ones who would where a couple he's known since high school. They grew tired of him I suppose, and it didn't work out. So he asked to live here. I contested to the idea, but my husband said it would only be for one month. Reluctantly I agreed because of the time frame.

Four going on five months later here we are. I'm miserable and about to implode in my own mind.

-Jade
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