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  #1  
Unread 06-30-2011, 07:40 PM
Yellow81 Yellow81 is offline
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Unhappy About the Virgo Man and Scorpio Woman

Hello. I'm brand new to the world of astrology. I just want to get some opinions on something that's happening in my life. I'm a scorpio female and I met a virgo male on a dating website a few months ago. We started emailing one another, and now we've been texting for the past 2-3 months.

So far, I'm definitely attracted to him, though we haven't met face-to-face, we've exchanged pics and talked for a while now. However, I've found that he can be quite cold and distant, and I often feel ignored. Sometimes he goes several days without so much as a hello, and if I text him first, he'll sometimes not answer back for a while, or else he'll answer with short replies. I've often just told myself that he's not interested or that he's with someone else, and I've even mentioned to him twice that I think we should just stop talking. He quickly replied that he's just been busy lately and does not want to stop conversing. I was just wondering for you experts out there, do the following traits sound typical of the virgo male, as he exhibits all of these:
--denies his true feelings
--unfriendly/cold
--distant
--reserved
--secretive
--selfish
--bossy
--always busy/on-the-go
--stubborn
--emotionally detached or vacant
--snappy/easily offended

He told me once that he makes friends easily, but I don't believe he could possibly makes friends easily if he treats everyone the way he treats me. But maybe he's just not that into me? He comes across as a bad communicator, which drives me insane. I'm open with him, and I want him to share things with me. Once I asked him to tell me something odd/unusual about himself. He dodged the question and I said something like, "I give up on you." He replied by asking me not to give up, and then he answered my question. But I don't understand why things have to be this way with him. Why should I have to threaten to walk away just to get him to talk to me? So here are my questions for you experts out there:

--Is it often difficult to maintain a relationship between a virgo male and a scorpio female?
--How can I best approach him to get what I want out of him? I mean, I've tried being direct, but sometimes he just sulks away and hides for a few days, and then he starts texting me again as if nothing happened.

For example, last weekend we were texting back and forth, and he started flirting, so I flirted back and we seemed to be having a good time. Then, the conversation stopped cold after I asked him a question about why he's so secretive with me. I asked if he was hiding a wife or gf or if he had issues with some crazy ex-girlfriends. He didn't reply and hasn't spoken to me for four or five days. I refuse to text him first, and I am worried that he's angry at me, but how was I supposed to know that this question was off limits? If he would've asked me the same question, then I would have just answered him honestly. Ugh.

Sometimes I think he just doesn't like me, but then he'll pop up and say something like, "I missed you," or "I've been thinking about you." And I want to ask him why he hasn't been texting or calling if he's been thinking about me. He rarely compliments me or talks about his feelings.

He once joked that I should be texting him more often, but I think he was actually serious. He seems to want me to make the first move a lot of the time. Like, he'll text me and ask me to call him. And he even texted me to ask me to look him up on facebook and send him a friend invite. Why couldn't he just call me or just send me a facebook invite? He acts like he wants me to take the lead, and then he backs aways when I am direct with him. My friend Samantha says I should just back off and let him open up to me on his own time, and maybe that's good advice, but I just can't stand the way things are right now.

Can someone please help me understand this virgo man? Is this typical behavior? Should I just say 'to hell with it' and try to forget him? Should I keep pushing him to confide in me? Do Virgo men sometimes take a while to warm up to people?

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  #2  
Unread 06-30-2011, 09:42 PM
Lady Butterfly Lady Butterfly is offline
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Re: About the Virgo Man and Scorpio Woman

I'm not an astrology expert, I'm just a Scorpio woman who married a virgo man.... I can only say that in my own situation, it was a union that at first seemed to be made in heaven but eventually turned into a living hell. My virgo ex displayed some but not all of the traits you listed at first. He was secretive,selfish and bossy- and there was always some kind of conflict with someone in his life whether the (now other) ex wife, family memers or professional relationships. but I wouldn't describe him as distant or reserved with me- I think his feelings were really intense, amybe in part due to his Scorpio moon- he wanted to constantly be together and was always complimenting me and telling me how much he loved me. He seemed like a hard worker, a good dad to his two young kids, and commtted to our relationship. Fast forward a couple of years: he lost several jobs because although he was competent he kept getting in clashes with coworkers and bosses, drugs become an issue, he becomes increasingly abusive emotionally psychologically and physically. The psycholoical abuse was the worst; five years later I still strugle with the pain of being degraded and GASLIGHTED on a regular basis; I am now very hesitant to trust any man with my heart because this one had seemed SO sincere and real and the complete reversal was shocking and completely knocked my world off balance. The tendency to direct and control spun so completely out of control. So ya, my Virgo man was very erratic, unpredictable, aggressive, and had a short fuse. And to him what mattered was how things 'looked', a kind of superficiality which I think did not mesh well with my Scorpio desire to get deep in the layers of things and the currents that run underneath the surface...we were both pretty intense in different ways i guess, and his need to control me really clashed with my need to have space and freedom to move...
One thing you were talking about reminded me of how my ex was: how you described him telling you to add him on facebook instead of just adding you.... virgos seem to want a certain kind of attention or admiration or something, in my experience, they really like being patted on the back.... my ex had a way of, how to describe this, directing me about setting the stage for him...fishing for a certain kind of attention... it made me sort of uncomfortable because it was like he was trying to plan sponteneity, does that make sense? didnt to me, lol.
Not based on astrology but just from what you have described, I would just encourage you to watch out for red flags with this guy. Maybe he's just undecided or not yet ready to reveal certain things yet and that's why his behavior seems erratic but it could be his personality, and let's face it not everyone is even who they say they are online. I might think about whether this is a good match; if there is already a lot of conflict, if he is making you feel off balance and confused even at this early stage when you haven't yet met face to face... that might be a sign of future trouble. It might be interesting to look at your charts to see what astrology suggests is influencing your specific relationship. At any rate good luck!

Last edited by Lady Butterfly; 06-30-2011 at 09:48 PM.
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  #3  
Unread 06-30-2011, 10:00 PM
LonelyRed LonelyRed is offline
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Re: About the Virgo Man and Scorpio Woman

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post
Hello. I'm brand new to the world of astrology. I just want to get some opinions on something that's happening in my life.
Hi, welcome. Before we start, I'm going to suggest you post your chart. Here: Click here Don't mind me as I ask for it a few times during my response, it's just to give you an idea of how much more this can help you by giving me some more to talk about. I find this very intriguing.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

I'm a scorpio female and I met a virgo male on a dating website a few months ago. We started emailing one another, and now we've been texting for the past 2-3 months.
Have you spoken on the phone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

So far, I'm definitely attracted to him, though we haven't met face-to-face, we've exchanged pics and talked for a while now.
What exactly is that you find attractive him about, as you go onto highlight some very unattractive qualities he has.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

I've found that he can be quite cold and distant, and I often feel ignored. Sometimes he goes several days without so much as a hello, and if I text him first, he'll sometimes not answer back for a while, or else he'll answer with short replies.
How old is he? How old are you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

I've often just told myself that he's not interested or that he's with someone else, and I've even mentioned to him twice that I think we should just stop talking.
Has he validated for you these conclusions you've drawn? Why did you think stopping talking was the answer? This is very drastic, so it is interesting to me that you're still holding out in hope that he will change.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

He quickly replied that he's just been busy lately and does not want to stop conversing.
Have you read the book, "He's Just Not That Into You"? Apparently, according to this book, if a man really wants to be with you, he'll make the time, no matter how busy he is. It could really be true, but I do think some men "lie to be nice," or "hide the truth," which this book seems to say doesn't happen.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

I was just wondering for you experts out there, do the following traits sound typical of the virgo male, as he exhibits all of these:
--denies his true feelings
--unfriendly/cold
--distant
--reserved
--secretive
--selfish
--bossy
--always busy/on-the-go
--stubborn
--emotionally detached or vacant
--snappy/easily offended
These are all negatives, and I would be hesitant to align stagnant negative personality characteristics, with the flowing and ever-changing energies of a Sign. Because it is energetic, the influence of your Sign, like energy, it is always in some kind of motion. Behaviors therefore change like the energies change. They ossicilate around underlying attitudes and values you have about life, which may be indivisible from the influence of the Sign. The influence of the Sign is a specific kind of pattern, magnifying certain attributes, or drawing more light upon them through energy alone. It is a pattern because it is constellation, and then we say people with this Sign tend to act in a certain way or in certain pattern.

He sounds like he isn't interested, even if he says he is, and he has some mood/personality/cognitive issues he hasn't sorted out. He also sounds very inconsiderate.


Now, according to the constellation or pattern of Virgo, Virgo energy is designed to be considerate. Though they can seem cold because they are an earthy, mental, and mutable sign, and those a major descriptors of this pattern. Think of earth, it can be warm, but it can also be cool and slowly responsive. This means they are easily changed (they depend on it, and cultivate an innate understanding and awareness of the cycle of physical existence), motivated by logic and information they can pick up concretely with their senses (meaning if you haven't spoken on the phone or met in person, this can make them nervous/uncomfortable because life for them is most enjoyed and most experienced through engagement of the senses because of the desire or an appreciation for structure and sturdiness associated with this), and are interested in results/experiences to draw sensitive but practical conclusions from, which means sometimes they can become overly focused on that and that can seem a bit inconsiderate. But every sign has its dark places, where the light simply does not shine, the space between the stars in the constellation, and there the stars within the pattern bridge an invisible gap and those are the developed behaviors from this pattern as we grow and mature into our Sun Sign as we age. These become part of our Sun Sign expression as we age, but also can be negative or intolerant to change after a certain period of time. When we are young, we are more open, and as we age we can, out of a need for security, we may not be as open to certain influences and that can create "blind" spots and come across negatively to others without intending to. So it sounds like he may be doing this some as there are some links with Virgo qualities and poor self-security measures here for him.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

He told me once that he makes friends easily, but I don't believe he could possibly makes friends easily if he treats everyone the way he treats me.
Maybe he's just not that into you, OR, he is uncomfortable with the lack of physical concreteness your current dynamic has, and that is making him irritable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

But maybe he's just not that into me?
Yeah... I know I mentioned this earlier, and you say it here now, and I think that it makes a pretty resounding point. But I'm also not necessarily saying this is so... I know it can be helpful to know that right off the bat before I even had read this fully, I was wondering the same thing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

He comes across as a bad communicator, which drives me insane.
Sometimes Scorpios, in their quest for truth and absolute-ness (something about this constellation appears to compel those born under this sign to desire, really crave depth, as they represent still/fixed water, which needs to create a pool or lake and thus wants depth), can direct their desires for such at changing people, or fixing them, getting them to be more "real and honest," because to Scorpio this is valuable, and with good reason, as Scorpios can be EXCELLENT at healing people.

Also, if he seems like a bad communicator, and he is driving you insane, maybe you should check in with yourself and see if you are trying to change or fix him, since you are otherwise unhappy with him, but still hanging around.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

I'm open with him, and I want him to share things with me. Once I asked him to tell me something odd/unusual about himself. He dodged the question and I said something like, "I give up on you."
I know the feeling. I have strong Scorpio Energies in my chart, but I have Venus in Virgo, so fortunately (as if this could truly be a fortunate placement, as it is a detrimental one by definition), I'm fine with topical discussions and not needing to pursue further, sometimes taking pleasure in being "distant' or "guarded" myself. The thing with Virgo is, and I struggle with this too, is it can make some Virgo Suns uncomfortable to be so directly in the limelight. I know for a Scorpio this can make them seem all the more fascinating and you want to delve into this very considerate, which Scorpio loves, way of doing things. He probably fascinating and interesting to you, and also someone you felt you could trust, at the beginning. I'm not sure though, since you haven't mentioned why he is appealing. For some Virgos, this can simply be uncomfortable. They don't necessarily have anything to hide, it is just not their forte to take center stage and that's what this, or perhaps they are worried by some component of it, that can have little to do with you. It is important I might say, however, when your Virgo friend dodges the question, to remember that as a Scorpio you are much more comfortable with this stuff, you thrive on it, and to not take it personally, since he might do this with lots of people. I'm no expert, this is just my own slow understanding of this. Forgive me, with Mercury in Leo (fixed thinking energy) and w/o your charts, these are some stabs in the dark! Sun Signs are not enough!


Also, even more importantly, a minor criticism, such as "I give up on you," can make it even harder for your Virgo friend to open up to you, because they won't respond to this because again, they try to serve or support and now he feels banished because he didn't open up to you. Just because you open up to him doesn't mean he has to open up to you. Scorpios are looking for intense, passionate, even cathartic interactions with romantic partners, whereas Virgos may be looking for something which is more about cultivating long-term stability rather than potentially tumultuous interactions that can be deep and passionate. Not that Virgos can't be passionate mind you.

If you are hurt that he won't share, it would be better to tell him that. He is much more mental and practical, and when you can tell him directly what doesn't feel good for you, and what is wrong, he can decide if wants to change. Virgos are mutable and many long to be helpful and flexible, but they are practical, determined Earth Signs, so it must be on their terms, or terms they believe are logical, do-able, and fulfilling. So, you could always contact him and say, "I feel like I share so much with you, but you never share with me," or even better, "I would like to know more about you, in an in-depth way. I'm simply curious about you, and I really like what I know about you so far, so please share with me more about you, because I get the feeling there is even more to like there. It's up to you of course!"

Not very Scorpio, , because you probably scratch your head like, "well, who wouldn't want to talk about these deep, meaningful things? Isn't that what we are made of? Isn't that the whole of life?" Or whatever you might be saying/thinking/associating with having told him your deep stuff, and wanting to know his. Virgos are mental signs, and that doesn't mean they can't get along with Scorpios, you just have to move slower, and be more concrete.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

He replied by asking me not to give up, and then he answered my question.
See? He is sensitive and concerned, and cares, but maybe more about how he is coming across to you, than about you, since he hasn't met you in person. Again, he is about concrete sense-based things, and you want that too, in your own way, which is why you are looking for a stronger emotional response on his part, as you are a Water sign, which is infused with energies associated with the emotions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post


But I don't understand why things have to be this way with him. Why should I have to threaten to walk away just to get him to talk to me?
Again, I think this has to do with the need for something more concrete on his part, on both of your parts really.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post


So here are my questions for you experts out there:

--Is it often difficult to maintain a relationship between a virgo male and a scorpio female?
I know I would need your charts to answer this question, as Sun Sign compatibility is much more in-depth than just Sun Signs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

--How can I best approach him to get what I want out of him? I mean, I've tried being direct, but sometimes he just sulks away and hides for a few days, and then he starts texting me again as if nothing happened.
I would really need to see his chart and your chart to know. This sounds like this is something about him, like he gets overwhelmed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

For example, last weekend we were texting back and forth, and he started flirting, so I flirted back and we seemed to be having a good time. Then, the conversation stopped cold after I asked him a question about why he's so secretive with me. I asked if he was hiding a wife or gf or if he had issues with some crazy ex-girlfriends. He didn't reply and hasn't spoken to me for four or five days. I refuse to text him first, and I am worried that he's angry at me, but how was I supposed to know that this question was off limits? If he would've asked me the same question, then I would have just answered him honestly. Ugh.
He could very well be hiding something, or he thinks you are "difficult." You could be ill-suited for each other, or it could be an underlying temperament thing for him. I would need the charts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post



Sometimes I think he just doesn't like me, but then he'll pop up and say something like, "I missed you," or "I've been thinking about you." And I want to ask him why he hasn't been texting or calling if he's been thinking about me. He rarely compliments me or talks about his feelings.

This last bit sounds like the achievement/ends-focused concerns of an Earth Sign, versus the emotional needs of a Water Sign. Overall, it sounds like you guys just need to meet in person for him to feel enlivened and focused on you and him. Also, you may need to acknowledge he isn't steady in his operations as you would like.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post


He once joked that I should be texting him more often, but I think he was actually serious. He seems to want me to make the first move a lot of the time. Like, he'll text me and ask me to call him. And he even texted me to ask me to look him up on facebook and send him a friend invite. Why couldn't he just call me or just send me a facebook invite? He acts like he wants me to take the lead, and then he backs aways when I am direct with him.
Yeah... I need the charts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

My friend Samantha says I should just back off and let him open up to me on his own time, and maybe that's good advice, but I just can't stand the way things are right now.
Joni Mitchell: "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone?"

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Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post


Can someone please help me understand this virgo man? Is this typical behavior? Should I just say 'to hell with it' and try to forget him? Should I keep pushing him to confide in me? Do Virgo men sometimes take a while to warm up to people?
You know, I have really no idea. I think there can be a Virgo focus on industriousness, which makes some miss cues or opportunities for simply connecting with others.

-LR

Last edited by LonelyRed; 07-04-2011 at 05:51 AM.
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  #4  
Unread 07-01-2011, 03:12 AM
Yellow81 Yellow81 is offline
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Re: About the Virgo Man and Scorpio Woman

Thanks so much for your replies. I think I'm just gonna follow my own advice and not talk to him. If he's interested in pursuing me, then he'll contact me. If he isn't interested, then I won't bother.

I just have this constant need to figure people out. I think a lot of why he does what he does is just his personality, plus I think he's been hurt a lot in the past and doesn't readily trust people. He told me he'd call and tell me 'his story,' which makes me think he is wounded, but he never called me (well, he called me once about a month ago and left a voicemail, and I returned his call but then he didn't return mine).

Anyway, how do I post my chart? I only know my sun sign, but I've heard several people say that the specific day and time you were born has a lot to do with personality as well.
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  #5  
Unread 07-01-2011, 03:33 AM
Yellow81 Yellow81 is offline
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Re: About the Virgo Man and Scorpio Woman

Ok. I'm trying to post the chart now.
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  #6  
Unread 07-03-2011, 11:13 PM
LonelyRed LonelyRed is offline
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Re: About the Virgo Man and Scorpio Woman

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Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post
Thanks so much for your replies.
You are so welcome.

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Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

I think I'm just gonna follow my own advice and not talk to him. If he's interested in pursuing me, then he'll contact me. If he isn't interested, then I won't bother.
This is always the best bet. My thinking is, don't waste your time even if you feel compelled to delve further, which would be very common for water energies, particularly Scorpio.

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Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

I just have this constant need to figure people out.
That's the Scorpio Sun. Are you interested in going into psychology, criminal justice...?

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Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

I think a lot of why he does what he does is just his personality, plus I think he's been hurt a lot in the past and doesn't readily trust people.
Well, whatever it is, he doesn't need to be making you feel insecure or like you need to "figure him out," to feel ok with things. You need and deserve to be with someone more forthcoming, or at least willing to speak openly about their hesitancies.

Funny, since you next say:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post
He told me he'd call and tell me 'his story,' which makes me think he is wounded, but he never called me (well, he called me once about a month ago and left a voicemail, and I returned his call but then he didn't return mine).
I could go on for awhile about how men within the context of Western Society tend to operate emotionally. I am not going to. I don't know if he is wounded as you say, or feels responsible like he should have something to tell you, based on how you've been approaching him, wanting to know more about him. He might feel he owes you a story of some kind, but that could mean anything. The fact that he never called you back is a sure indicator that he doesn't really want to talk about it, whatever it is, for whatever reason. That could change but don't bet on it, you know?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow81 View Post

Anyway, how do I post my chart? I only know my sun sign, but I've heard several people say that the specific day and time you were born has a lot to do with personality as well.
Yes, these things have an immense impact, and are way more accurate than merely a Sun Sign.

From your chart, I can gather that you have a mind that likes to explore, probe, and bring to light/life things that were not previously visible. This is your Mercury, the way you think and communicate and process information, in Scorpio. It is also in the Sixth House, which suggests that this is a very powerful motivator for how you conduct yourself on the day to day, and the habits you take to. It could also imply that this something well-suited for you in terms of the work you do, since this is something you already consider as part of your daily routine of things you do. It comes naturally to you, and bears immediately and practical significance. Moreover, it receives a sextile from Mars in Virgo, the sign associated with the Sixth House, so you are spurred by the industriousness and necessity of your mind and its way of operating. It is fulfilling to you on a personal level and I am more than certain this is something you feel right at home with, encouraging things to develop or be demonstrated that weren't there before. You are very probing and engaging, and seek to know more about just about everything. You would make a great therapist if I do say so myself. Or maybe sales?

I'll come back with more later but right off the bat you can see how your Virgo friend and his issues may be a bit put off by this. Of course, one can't know for sure. When is his birthday?

-LR

Last edited by LonelyRed; 07-04-2011 at 05:53 AM.
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  #7  
Unread 07-04-2011, 03:08 PM
Yellow81 Yellow81 is offline
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Re: About the Virgo Man and Scorpio Woman

His birthday is September 10.

Here's an update on things: He texted me on Friday morning after not talking to me for about five or six days. I didn't text back right away, and he sent me a second message saying, "Hello?" as if he was getting impatient. I answered him on Friday afternoon and told him everything I was thinking. Told him that I want to get closer to him and that involves more communication between us. I told him how much I don't like it when he disappears. He replied on Saturday by telling me he appreciates that I was open with him and that he is sorry for disappearing. He said he will try to be more available to me in the future. We texted for a little while on Saturday until I stopped texting because he was on his way to a family get-together for 4th July. He popped up on Sunday and asked why I stopped texting the day before. I told him it was because he seemed busy and I thought he was driving or something. He seemed a little disappointed that I stopped texting, though he does randomly stop texting with me quite frequently during our conversations. I think he's quite selfish and wants me to be available to talk when he wants it, but he isn't willing to do that for me.

Anyway, I'm not going to text him first anymore. I'm just gonna play it cool and let him come to me. If he doesn't, then I'll try not to be upset by it. I don't make friends easily, I am quite reserved, and there are very few people that I make an effort to befriend, so it's actually a big deal that I was starting to like him and enjoy our conversations, and I think that's why it's so hard to not think about him.

And no, we haven't met. We are both single parents who work full-time jobs and we live about 500 miles apart, so it's hard to spend time together. He has hinted that he wants to see me. The way he's acting right now, I don't know if I want to meet him though.

Sorry if I'm boring y'all with all of this, but I just need to get it off my chest. When he contacts me again, I'll tell him all of these things, too.
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Unread 07-05-2011, 10:29 PM
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moonwillow moonwillow is offline
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Re: About the Virgo Man and Scorpio Woman

fell deeply for a virgo sun, venus in scorpio, mars in capricorn, many moons ago. it was deep and intense. Still care for him, most probably always will even if he does not know this, but he was indecisive, can relate to some, not all of the above, but I had to make a choice, and I did. No contact anymore. I am glad. One minute he was in it, and when he realized he was loosing me, then he wanted me. too late by then.
Kept flirting, albeit innocently, I don't deal with this too well, I am not designed to take this kind of manipulation.
we have to make choices in life you know, they are hard ones. My decision was pretty cold and maybe a pretty hard. but I made it. And sometimes I think he most probably hates me for it. I had to get on with my life you know.
For what it is worth;
cancer sun
moon capricorn - most probably my saving grace
asc. scorpio
both venus and mars in gemini, in the 8H.
like I said above, I will always care for him, very much and very deeply, and I think of him often.
but life goes on, and the relationship was becoming traumatic for me.
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Unread 07-08-2011, 11:12 PM
Gemini19 Gemini19 is offline
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Re: About the Virgo Man and Scorpio Woman

I've been dating a virgo man off and on for two years. He is the epitome of what you describe yellow 81! But what I have learned after all this time is that these are phases that virgo men seem to go through as they fall for someone: charming and attentive in the beginning, crazy/controlling (in my case, that phase ended in me breaking up with him), then back together as "friends" and he is now completely in control of himself but distant and cool in various ways, usually as we start to get close, he pushes me away..YET he will say things to me that will show the depth of his feelings for me and he remains loyal to me.I truly believe he is deciding on whether to commit to me..to other people looking in (and to me in the beginning!) this may seem like crazy behavior, but I know him well enough now to know he does care for me, he just is much slower than other men (think, fire and water signs!) in showing it, because they take the relationship--and you--so very seriously...other men will act like they love you right out of the gate, but you will find later on that they are not as committed as you thought..with virgos, they do all the work of analyzing whether they want to commit BEFORE getting into a relationship..but for most of us it is hard to understand this, because we just want to be casual and have fun at the beginning of a dating relationship. Also what I have learned is that the distancing they do is often a big ACT...virgos are excellent actors and will pretend not to like you or even that they are sick physically (to get your attention)..SO you have to learn to 1) have patience--you are at the beginning of a long road! But it is worth it in the end, because virgos do make such good partners, and are loyal and caring 2) laugh to yourself about these little self defensive "acts" -they are frustrating but kind of cute in their own way when you understand where they come from and 3) yes, don't chase too much-stay in touch, be responsive, but have your own interests--I know it's hard!! One of the wonderful things about virgo is that you can talk to him in a calm way about the way you are feeling and they are very responsive, so when it gets too frustrating, just talk to him--don't yell or cry, just talk.
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Unread 07-18-2011, 06:56 PM
Yellow81 Yellow81 is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Re: About the Virgo Man and Scorpio Woman

Thanks again for everyone's replies. Gemini, I think you've given me good advice in regards to my problem, especially because you can relate to it after having dated a similar guy. I definitely think this man is the sort who needs to be left alone for a bit to figure things out on his own. I've noticed that when we get close, he feels like he needs to pull back. Just when we've had an interesting, stimulating conversation, he'll stop talking for a few days. I've also noticed that if I don't answer back right away, he seems upset, as if he genuinely wants to talk to me, or maybe he's just selfish and wants me to wait around for him...???

Next time he contacts me, I won't answer back for a while, and I'll see what effect it has on him. And then maybe I can coax him into a conversation about the issues he's dealing with. I know I shouldn't probe, but I can't help but try and figure out what his deal is. Sometimes he says things that make me think he's incredibly sad, which I can relate to, so maybe that's one of the things that draws me to him.

Last week he asked if I had "picked" him "out," and I think he was asking if I was seeing anyone or if I'd singled him out as the one guy I want to date. A part of me thinks he wants me to make the first move. I think he tries to appear confident, but maybe he isn't. I don't want to seem as if I'm making excuses for his behavior, so the truth of the matter could very well be that he's just a jerk who doesn't like me.

I won't sit by the phone and wait for his call, though I am tempted to, and maybe that's just my personality. When I like something, I sometimes become obsessed with it and think about it constantly

I know I sound really pathetic right now, but I was just looking to see if anyone else understands my point of view.
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