fernby said:
....that (Mercury/Pluto) square probably set up a scenario that has been very difficult for you.
Not actually difficult, but potentially so......I became the "one who broke the family tradition".....by being the first to enter a career/profession requiring formal educational qualifications.....However, the whole family encouraged rather than resisted it.
The Jupiter in Capricorn/4th "pillar of the local community" thing combines with Sun in Scorpio/3rd (enjoys in-depth analysis), conjunct Chiron (skilled "manipulator" - of data in this case) and Uranus in Gemini/9th (breaking with family tradition)......But pointing to "office work" rather than accountancy itself.
....Well you had a karmic lesson to be learned (NN) regarding father/authority (and enjoyment / pleasure Jupiter after all is the jolly expansive uncle) and that is to follow your own calling, enjoy your life more and to become less under the influence of his "disappointment" This is very difficult but if you didn't you will have to face that later on with more regret than his disappointment. If you had a career of 25 years then you would have been in early 40s? This is well past time to move out of the child/parent model (sorry harsh but true) And astrology aside the critical self love evolves when you challenge that parent/child model and discover they really love you anyway, not just your achievements.
Absolutely correct, Fernby!............The first "event" was the death of my father.......Freeing me (at the age of 42) to become EJ53 rather than "my father's son"........and leading directly to my retirement from accountancy, nine months later.
[Note : At age 14/15, I watched my older brother "separate" from my father....through "toe-to-toe" physical confrontations, which greatly upset my mother.....And made a conscious choice to not do anything myself that would "put her through it again".....(plus I had neither the desire nor inclination to trade punches with a father whom I respected/liked enormously.....and was a very tough coal-miner/accomplished amateur boxer!)]
...The pluto transit/sun during all the other stuff means this was a complete transformation - a shedding of skin, a re-birth, I would be very surprised that if you didn't CHOOSE to change that something else dramatic didn't force the change. The Chiron transits were very supportive.
Second event......Death of my mother....."the Sun went down finally on my former life".........and removed the one person who could have manipulated me (through guilt) to resurrect my accountancy career.....or persuade me to take another job I neither needed nor wanted (to comply with the family's traditionally strong work ethic).
At this point, I stopped looking for alternative employment and decided to pursue my hobby as a full-time (unpaid) "career".........[Bear in mind here that I'd realised by then that alternative employment was unlikely - as I was 45; seen by potential employers as "over-qualified"; had chosen to leave my last job and had no desire to do anything that utilised my accountancy training/expertise.]
....I would have been saying to seek career advice and counselling to help you find what your real fulfillments are - I will look see in a bit to see if any paths jump out - where is your North Node house and sign placement/
The advice would have been correct.
My North Node is at 3 degrees Taurus/8th, making a Kite formation with Uranus/Jupiter and Saturn at 5 degrees Virgo/11th........The third/final progressed Mars event was the birth of my second grandchild in hospital.....with complications she might not have survived if it had been a home-birth, as originally intended.
....I don't think shyness is always lack of self esteem
Lack of self-esteem has never been an issue with me.......My shyness stems from a lack of self-awareness........As a child, I was unaware that my unconscious behaviour upset/alientated others.....Later, I became aware of this (through experiencing unexpected rejection) but unaware of what the offending behaviour itself was......And even now (at 60), I still manage to offend others without knowing/understanding why.
When young, I dealt with the problem by avoiding social situations......So, the shyness comes from lack of practice in interacting socially with others/groups.......And disappears when I'm amongst those who "understand me".
EJ
)......Perhaps the only significant matter you've not mentioned is the 10/4 axis as an indicator of my parents..........[Jupiter is my father (pillar of the local community)/Uranus is my mother (unpredictable and gregarious)]
), I wasn't prepared for that and your mothers passing yes so linked to re-birth and the Chiron lessons.
