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  #51  
Unread 04-26-2019, 11:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElenaJ View Post
You made me laugh with your comment about Leo on the other thread. Relax, Leo is not easy to offend!
Aside from my Leo ascendent, by sheer coincidence my sun is exactly conjunct your ascendent, which might account a lot for why I took your situation to heart!
See, you can't cherry pick planets or aspects, or just sun signs!
Lol yeah whilst I was writing the comment part of me felt sorry in advance for offending anyone but then again I just had to be honest.

And I'm not brown nosing by saying this but when I read your comments on the forum, energetically speaking I found you rather sexy 😊. Go figure, your sun on my asc. Omg, and I just realised progressed sun is there too. Holy s**t.

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  #52  
Unread 04-28-2019, 02:36 AM
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Well this morning we supposed to go to my husband's Greek Easter. Even though I'm still sick I said I'd go. He ended up just complaining about my image and how I look like a grandma and how he wants me to look young. Gee, I'm really copping it. But U know what? When I was skinny and young I copped it too. So can't win here. Sick of ppl complaining about my image. I was planning to start exercising this week but surprise surprise my husband needs me. I just feel like I'm losing all the time. I just Wana look after myself without him hammering me all the time.
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  #53  
Unread 04-28-2019, 07:38 AM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is offline
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Re: Beauty

He needs you? YOU need you. Can you tell him you'll try to work it out, but you have commitments?
He wants you slim and lovely but denies you the time you need for improving your looks?
Should we be working on his chart instead of yours???
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  #54  
Unread 04-28-2019, 07:47 AM
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Re: Beauty

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElenaJ View Post
He needs you? YOU need you. Can you tell him you'll try to work it out, but you have commitments?
He wants you slim and lovely but denies you the time you need for improving your looks?
Should we be working on his chart instead of yours???
Omg so well put. I do need ME don't I. Far out.
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  #55  
Unread 04-28-2019, 09:32 PM
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Re: Beauty

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Originally Posted by Abby83 View Post
So guys, I turned to tarot asking why I'm so ugly these days. The answer I got was cos of motherhood. Since my pregnancies and the stress of the kids and sacrificing my own time I've become ugly as ugly gets. That's why I'm asking the question. I'm curious what to look for in my chart to bring back my beauty. My Venus is in virgo in 11th house. Part of beauty is in libra. Neptune in sag 2nd house. Neptune senisextiles the ascendant. I'm feeling so much pressure to do so much work I can't do it all. I want to work on myself but get criticised for it cos it takes time away from making money.
Abby83, will you please just stop this self-destructive thinking??

There is no external objective standard for beauty.

We're all getting older every day, and with ageing come normal, natural changes.

If you do what is reasonable to eat right, get some exercise (no matter how trivial, like just power-walking around the block,) and wear decently attractive colours for your skin type, you will look great.

Maybe ask your husband what sort of clothes and hair style he thinks would be flattering. Then ask him to mind the children while you have a mini-spa treatment and do some on-line shopping.

Beauty comes from within. Always. What seems to be ailing you is your self-confidence. What hard transits are hitting you just now? Forget about Venus. Coming out of Pluto and Saturn square sun?
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I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
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Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Message on a refrigerator magnet.

Last edited by waybread; 04-28-2019 at 09:38 PM.
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  #56  
Unread 04-28-2019, 09:58 PM
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Re: Beauty

Oh, and it's not up to you, with 3 children at home, to buy the status symbols. You're not Wonder Woman. Hubby wants you to work harder to buy the status symbols he craves? How about the status symbol of a wife who isn't driving herself into the ground because he keeps criticizing her? Tell him your health is a mess, never mind your appearance, due to sheer and utter exhaustion, adrenal and otherwise; and if he wants the status symbol of a more glamorous-looking wife, he's going to have to give you enough time to recoup your strength. Better yet, he could earn more money so that you don't have to work so hard.

Abby, I don't mean to come across like I am dumping on you. Quite the contrary. By all means, share my posts with your husband.

I say it's time to talk about (a) love, (b) common sense, and (c) your getting back your Libra equilibrium.
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My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And weíll change the world. Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Message on a refrigerator magnet.
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  #57  
Unread 04-29-2019, 03:53 AM
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Originally Posted by waybread View Post
Oh, and it's not up to you, with 3 children at home, to buy the status symbols. You're not Wonder Woman. Hubby wants you to work harder to buy the status symbols he craves? How about the status symbol of a wife who isn't driving herself into the ground because he keeps criticizing her? Tell him your health is a mess, never mind your appearance, due to sheer and utter exhaustion, adrenal and otherwise; and if he wants the status symbol of a more glamorous-looking wife, he's going to have to give you enough time to recoup your strength. Better yet, he could earn more money so that you don't have to work so hard.

Abby, I don't mean to come across like I am dumping on you. Quite the contrary. By all means, share my posts with your husband.

I say it's time to talk about (a) love, (b) common sense, and (c) your getting back your Libra equilibrium.
Awww, thank you thank you thank you thank you for your beautiful comments. You have no idea how much it has touched my heart.

Did you know that an hr before reading this I was thinking about your comment for me in the Leo thread and how thankful I am you're helping me.

What you say is true. I'll have to keep talking to my husband so we can settle on something and have him accept our wonderful life that he sees so gloomy.
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  #58  
Unread 04-29-2019, 04:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by waybread View Post
Abby83, will you please just stop this self-destructive thinking??

There is no external objective standard for beauty.

We're all getting older every day, and with ageing come normal, natural changes.

If you do what is reasonable to eat right, get some exercise (no matter how trivial, like just power-walking around the block,) and wear decently attractive colours for your skin type, you will look great.

Maybe ask your husband what sort of clothes and hair style he thinks would be flattering. Then ask him to mind the children while you have a mini-spa treatment and do some on-line shopping.

Beauty comes from within. Always. What seems to be ailing you is your self-confidence. What hard transits are hitting you just now? Forget about Venus. Coming out of Pluto and Saturn square sun?
Yeah I believe beauty comes from within too. When I look in the mirror, all I see is a Trainwreck. Why? Cos I've been run over by a train everyday since we had kids and extreme stress with his family. So yeah, my image portrays a woman who's body can't survive anymore. It's beyond exhausted. Many times I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack. Transits have not been good to me for many years. I really need to be lifted back into life with rest and vitality. I've made a list of my needs and I'm praying to God it will come true.
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  #59  
Unread 04-29-2019, 05:04 PM
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Re: Beauty

Abby, thanks.

Sorry if I'm coming across as preachy, but thanks to our interactions over the years, I truly believe that you have a good heart. And there you are, trying to meet everyone else's expectations of the super-perfect wife, mother, professional woman, beauty, and who knows what else? How about living the good-enough life? The OK life?

My advice would be that if it hurts your pride to look in the mirror, then stop looking in the mirror. OK, OK-- I know this won't happen and even the least attractive among us still need to comb our hair in front of the mirror once in a while.

But your interactions with Mirror, Mirror on the Wall could be positive, rather than an opportunity to beat yourself up over your appearance. Your interactions can be empowering vs. disempowering, simply because you choose to change your narrative.

I dunno. Maybe try greeting yourself in the morning by saying, "Hello, gorgeous!" OK, if that brings out a laugh, even if in disbelief, so much the better. Or wear your favourite colour and tell that face in the mirror how flattering it is to you.

No doubt you've got a better health regimen than I could recommend, but I hope you're drinking those 6-8 glasses of water per day, focusing on fresh fruits and vegetables, getting enough sleep, and so on.

Abby, as I look at your chart, what pops out for me is that big optimistic first house Jupiter, domiciled in Sagittarius. It conjuncts your moon. If I use key words, I would translate a first house moon as how we feel (moon) about how we come across to other people (first house.)

Maybe the issue isn't so much Venus or the part of beauty, but a big drought in your ability to have a sense of optimistic faith (Sagittarian Jupiter) in yourself (first house.)

Abby I wouldn't mention the following to a person if s/he hadn't mentioned prayer already. So I apologize if the following comments are amiss. I also note that Jupiter also traditionally rules religious faith.

I would never suggest not praying for what you want-- this is between you and God. (Cf. the book of James in the Bible.) But sometimes petitionary prayer has the effect of situating solutions outside of ourselves. Another kind of prayer is in Luke 22:42: "Not my will, but Thine be done." Maybe it's time just to let go of so much effort and struggle to be perfect. You already are perfect enough. Maybe relinquishing your emotional burdens can create some space for a state of grace.

Maybe think about nourishing your faithful and optimistic Sagittarius nature. You don't need a model's face or figure to do that. You're a child of God already, and I believe that He loves you as you are.

With all good wishes for your journey, W.
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My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And weíll change the world. Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Message on a refrigerator magnet.

Last edited by waybread; 04-29-2019 at 05:10 PM.
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  #60  
Unread 04-29-2019, 08:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Abby83 View Post
Yeah man, what you allow will continue, and it is continuing, right in front of you. People don't change.
People donít change. Especially if you donít give them a reason to.

Iím horrified hearing you have a conversation with your husband about criticising you infront is the kids and his response is it will help you change.

And his solution is to remind you to exercise, when clearly you are saying on this forum that you are the way you are because you are being run into the ground.

Your husband isnít taking responsibility for his part and youíre dying for him to do that.

What Waybread said about him earning more money so you can afford the time to be more glamorous is spot on, put the responsibility back in his corner. Itís like his work is stressful or he is not being valued or noticed at work and heís blaming it on you.

Iím not suggesting you divorce him,but if you did, wouldnít you have half the money earnt while you two were married? Then he would have the children at the wknd and you can go to a spa or beauty treatment place. Problem solved.
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  #61  
Unread 04-29-2019, 08:43 PM
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Re: Beauty

You are a Libra Sun, right? Or Libran at least, well Pluto and Saturn are going to be squaring them one after the other soon enough, depending on degrees - embrace the change it brings.
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  #62  
Unread 04-29-2019, 08:47 PM
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Re: Beauty

About beauty in general (not specifically about your situation) - but women donít need to be beautiful by menís standards anymore. Having a thread about wanting to be beautiful to please a man is not necessary in this day and age, unless the woman is the dependent type.

Sure, women had to struggle more depending on what the law allowed them to do, but independent types of women have been existing throughout history, regardless of what the law allowed. Eg, Joan of Arc.

If you are the relationship type, then find a gentleman. Gentlemen are lovely. Itís got nothing to do with men being misogynistic. Itís about finding a person who isnít selfish and wants to grow up, for either sex.

Let the controlling, boy husband end up with the goal-digging girl wife and let them use each other.

Last edited by Ukpoohbear; 04-29-2019 at 08:52 PM.
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  #63  
Unread 04-29-2019, 09:25 PM
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Re: Beauty

UKpoohbear, I take it you're not married with 3 children at home.

I was a single mother of two school-aged children for a while, between marriages. On top of an acrimonious divorce with all of its financial fall-out, being a single mom was about the most difficult thing I've ever done. Divorced women generally end up with a greatly reduced standard of living. These can add greatly to a woman's stress load.
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My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And weíll change the world. Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Message on a refrigerator magnet.
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  #64  
Unread 04-29-2019, 09:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by waybread View Post
UKpoohbear, I take it you're not married with 3 children at home.

I was a single mother of two school-aged children for a while, between marriages. On top of an acrimonious divorce with all of its financial fall-out, being a single mom was about the most difficult thing I've ever done. These can add greatly to a woman's stress load.
Iím not married and I donít have children. Iíve been in unhealthy relationships though and itís a learning process with any friendship or relationship connection I make that I donít lose my sense of self in the process. People take advantage of my weaknesses. I know the universal rule is that people have to come to realise what they are worth on their own, but what I am doing is basically spelling out the writing on the wall.

My sister was a single Mum at 17 and we came from a broken home. She went to university and then a few years later had a toxic relationship with the father of her next two kids. Sheís now married and pregnant with a really nice man. Sheís an inspiration to me and I am always on the side of the single mums because of her.

But Waybread, as much as what you are giving advice, I am too. We just have different methods. You did say very politely and subtlety that Abbyís husband could think about earning more money in order to allow Abby the benefits of being more glamorous, and I agree, but are you saying that Abby shouldnít consider divorcing him if he refuses to change? And the D word shouldnít be expressed to her husband to wake him up? Because I do.

Itís hard to see someone struggle. I think you have misinterpreted my advice because it has a different tone to yours and you also donít know about my life experiences and what I am qualified to say. Although I do admit I am not married myself, but Waybread, you donít need to be married to give advice, if you are married then you can relate more, that is all.
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  #65  
Unread 04-29-2019, 09:45 PM
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Re: Beauty

Basically, married or not, if an individual is acting selfish and refusing to grow as a person, then they shouldnít be accommodated or allowed to do that. Of course, you give people the benefit of doubt and the opportunity to grow, but if the person is unwilling to change or look at themselves in the mirror, are you still going to say you should stay together because being single is hard? Thatís wrong because the person who is placating the selfish individual is also digging themselves a bigger hole out of fear. Itís a life lesson. You grow and learn, or you donít. And people who donít want to grow up end up becoming toxic and Iíve had enough of those people because they literally cause so much damage to people.

Last edited by Ukpoohbear; 04-29-2019 at 09:54 PM.
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  #66  
Unread 04-29-2019, 09:47 PM
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Re: Beauty

Before the D word, why doesnít her husband go to counselling and see how his own dysfunctional upbringing has led him to act this way and not see his own faults? Or do you stay with him because divorce is difficult. Thatís so wrong.
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  #67  
Unread 04-30-2019, 12:07 AM
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Back to astrology

All,

Please get back to astrology. This is an astrological site for exploring how astrology affects people's lives. Put some astrology in your answers going forwards.

Back to astrology,

Tim
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  #68  
Unread 04-30-2019, 06:40 AM
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Hey ukpoohbear and waybread -

I'm grateful for both of your replies. You both give me something to think about.

Divorce would make my situation worse believe it or not. So strengthening my relationship is key. Lol I know most ppl want me to kick his *** in.

I agree I should do more prayer. It's worked for me in the past but for some reason I don't do it often. Probably cos my brain is in overload, further contributing to adrenal fatigue and then damaging my image and lowering my self esteem. If I'm gonna do this right I'll have to take time out for me. No other way to do it.
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  #69  
Unread 04-30-2019, 07:39 AM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is offline
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Re: Beauty

Any chance of seeing your husband's chart?
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  #70  
Unread 04-30-2019, 11:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElenaJ View Post
Any chance of seeing your husband's chart?
If you want to - 17th April 1979, Adelaide, South Australia, 8:30pm.
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  #71  
Unread 04-30-2019, 04:38 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is offline
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Re: Beauty

Here is your husband's chart.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Screen Shot 2019-04-30 at 18.36.44 copia.jpg (44.2 KB, 4 views)
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  #72  
Unread 05-01-2019, 01:31 AM
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Lol this morning was eventful. My husband woke me up in the morning (he's the first one up but this time was later than usual). Too late cos I'm supposed to drive him to work cos his car getting fixed. 5 mins later he screamed at me saying I don't support him. I said well why didn't you wake us up earlier (like he does every other day). He kept screaming that I don't support him. I said speak to me nicely or I won't be taking you to work. He screamed louder and started calling me names. I said I'm not going anywhere until he talks to me nicely. He cracked a fit. Thrust the keys on the floor, slammed his bag on the floor and stomped his feet repeatedly saying I'm a b**ch and I should help him. I'm like ummm, I'm driving you to work, did the same yesterday and went to your Easter when I was sick. How am I not supportive? All I asked was for him to talk to me nicely. He then apologised (but didn't mean it) and we got in the car. After half an hr he calmed down.

Wtf?!?! See what I'm dealing with? Nothing he says makes any sense.

Last edited by Abby83; 05-01-2019 at 01:35 AM.
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  #73  
Unread 05-01-2019, 03:49 AM
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Re: Beauty

Abby, it sounds like you handled your husband's meltdown very well. But as you know, this isn't good. Especially not good if his verbal abuse happened with your children at home.

Is marriage counseling an option for you two? Even if he won't go, maybe you can.

Natally your husband has a lot of squares in his chart, which generates a lot of background tension during the best of times.

Basically transiting Neptune is squaring your husband's AC/DC axis and natal Neptune. He may also be starting to feel transiting Pluto square sun. These transits would be hard on anyone's ego, as they tend to pull the rug out under our feet of who we understand ourselves to be.

If your husband is not a reflective, emotionally advanced kind of guy, he may be in the throes of a deeply upsetting identity crisis, with you as a nearest target for all kinds of fear about who he is deep-down and where he is going in life.

Trouble is, Neptune and Pluto are slow-moving planets, so it would be good to develop a joint strategy on how best to deal with them.

p.s. Do you know, is he treating you the way his parents operated? Does he have good role models?
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My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And weíll change the world. Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Message on a refrigerator magnet.
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  #74  
Unread 05-01-2019, 04:51 AM
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Re: Beauty

Mars Aries opposite Pluto Libra, he has serious rage issues & you should demand that he seek anger management classes before it gets even worse. Wake up & protect yourself, go to a women's shelter if you have to because he's one step away from physical violence. This type of emotional violence is terrifying to the children too so don't think it doesn't affect them or you.
Seek help now before it gets worse & take good care of yourself & your children.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abby83 View Post
Lol this morning was eventful. My husband woke me up in the morning (he's the first one up but this time was later than usual). Too late cos I'm supposed to drive him to work cos his car getting fixed. 5 mins later he screamed at me saying I don't support him. I said well why didn't you wake us up earlier (like he does every other day). He kept screaming that I don't support him. I said speak to me nicely or I won't be taking you to work. He screamed louder and started calling me names. I said I'm not going anywhere until he talks to me nicely. He cracked a fit. Thrust the keys on the floor, slammed his bag on the floor and stomped his feet repeatedly saying I'm a b**ch and I should help him. I'm like ummm, I'm driving you to work, did the same yesterday and went to your Easter when I was sick. How am I not supportive? All I asked was for him to talk to me nicely. He then apologised (but didn't mean it) and we got in the car. After half an hr he calmed down.

Wtf?!?! See what I'm dealing with? Nothing he says makes any sense.
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  #75  
Unread 05-01-2019, 05:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blackbery View Post
Mars Aries opposite Pluto Libra, he has serious rage issues & you should demand that he seek anger management classes before it gets even worse. Wake up & protect yourself, go to a women's shelter if you have to because he's one step away from physical violence. This type of emotional violence is terrifying to the children too so don't think it doesn't affect them or you.
Seek help now before it gets worse & take good care of yourself & your children.
Thanks for pointing that out. I'm hoping it doesn't get to that stage.
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