Is this over for good? Please help me

I'm heartbroken. He ended it this evening saying it was too difficult (complicated family situations) and he couldn't give me what I deserve.

I know I'm clutching at straws. I so desperately don't want to lose him. The thought that he might not be part of my life any more breaks my heart. He offered me friendship but that's not what I want.

In this chart, I am Sun (my natal ascendant is sun so this fits I guess) and he is Saturn (fitting too, given the recent effect he's had on me). I'm also moon.

Sun has no dignity in Aquarius and makes no Ptolemaic aspects. Im guessing this is Not good. In my H6 of routine and work. Hidden from him in his H12.

Moon is in Sagittarius, H4, his H10, dignified weakly by face only. Saturn also in Sagittarius dignified by term, H5.

Moon applying to conjunct Saturn but Venus gets in the way. Is this prohibition? I don't get it - Venus applies to both moon and Saturn - is it still therefore prohibition or is it something else?

I've read for that for such questions you look at the fourth house from the 7th, which here is H10, ruled by Venus. So is Venus here saying we are both finished? But in that case, wouldn't we expect Venus to separate from moon and Saturn?

Can I also ask - moon last separated from Neptune / what does this signify?

Also - as sun doesn't make any aspect with Saturn, does the moon's aspect count? I know it might not here, because of Venus, but in general?

Please help me. This is a man who I cannot seem to let go (and he keeps coming back too, to be fair - we seem to not be able to leave each other despite the many obstacles in our way. We also both know that we will not have a proper future together for years (family obligations) but I am prepared to wait.

Many thanks.
Julia

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LovelyMissAries said:

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Thank you LovelyMissAries - have done that.

Julia, can you say more about the family issues that are keeping you apart? if they are a real variable then the chart should show that. But depending upon what part of the family is involved (mom, dad, sibling/s, grandparent, &c) it will show up differently in the chart. Is there any type of religious or ethnic/cultural difference?

Off hand, and without that information, there are some signs of a reconciliation, but I'd like to figure out whether Venus translates light (helpful) or might be part of the problem.

Hello waybread.
It's his children and their mother - he is still married to her. She wants a divorce and he is worried about losing the kids. So yes they are a real variable.
I'm in the same situation - just to complicate matters further.
Which is why we have both accepted that until children leave home we cannot be together.
But he said yesterday that he can't continue his relationship with me because he knows I am frustrated and unhappy at the current state of affairs and doesn't want that. He is offering me friendship. When I've asked of his feelings for me have changed he said no, he loves me.
I should clarify - our relationship is not physical so far. We have worked together for many years (over a decade) and been very good friends but only in the last year we have acknowledged our feelings for each other.

We are from different backgrounds - me Indian and him English.
Julia

Please? Can anyone help?

Julia

Julia, while I think your relationship isn't exactly over, it doesn't appear to me that you will be able to further it in the near future.

You are symbolized by the sun, with Leo rising; as well as by the moon. With Aquarius on the 7th house cusp, this man is symbolized by Saturn. Saturn unfortunately also indicates disappointments and delays. This chart shows a lot of activity in your 5th house of children. I don't know how old they are, but especially if they are young, you have to consider what is best for them.

The sun is in the 6th house and in detriment in Aquarius, both of which suggest that you are not in a strong position. In a turned chart, the 6th house becomes the man's 12th house, which rules secrets and deception. It is possible that this man doesn't like the secrets and deception that your mutual attraction is creating in his life.

His turned 5th house of children is not so active as yours, but his turned second house of money is. It is possible that financially it would be difficult for him to divorce his wife, and that money is a big consideration.

Another reading of Saturn ruling the 7th house is that the astrologer should not read the chart, because the querent will not like the answer! But speaking as someone who has been married twice, for a total of 40 years, it is not unusual for a married woman or man to fall in love with someone else. The question is, what are the repercussions of acting on the new attraction. In the case of my divorce when my children were still at home, it was kind of a train wreck in their lives.

The sun applies to a sextile with Saturn, but before that happens it bumps into Jupiter. Jupiter can be beneficial, but in this case it doesn't translate its light to Saturn. I suspect that another variable is how you two will continue working with an incipient love affair or divorce/remarriage in the mix. Probably not too good.

It is understandable that you feel broken-hearted by this turn of events. But realistically, don't you believe that it is for the best of all concerned?

Waybread, thank you - you are very generous with your time.

He and I are married to other people - you are spot on, he dislikes the inherent secrecy and deception in his relationship with me. But I should say that we have never been physically intimate - our relationship is limited to emotional connection and closeness.

We both have young children and for him especially it is important that he should keep his family unit together for their sake. It is important for me too. You are again right that financial stability of his children is important for him as his wife couldn't afford to look after the kids on her own.

Neither of us had any plans of breaking up our families - hence this vague idea that we might - only might - one day be together but that won't happen at least for a decade, if then; the idea was more that we would be emotionally close and offer each other comfort and succour that for many reasons we don't get within our respective marriages. It's still infidelity in my book, physical relationship or not, and I will not shy away from that.

Do I think it's best? Yes I do. Equally I am very sad for me and him because my emotional life was barren before he came along and it's barren again, and it was similar for him. We both fulfilled a need in the other and represented something that we won't have in our lives otherwise.

I didn't even see that sun was applying to Saturn! What do you think Jupiter might represent? My fifth and eighth houses.

And out of interest, you didn't say anything about moon or Venus? Or do you think they don't really count?

I am very grateful for your time and kindness.

Julia

In this case, Saturn represents the man, but more generally Saturn indicates delays and disappointments-- the moon applying to a conjunction in the house of your children would seem to indicate the latter. Before it hits Saturn, the moon applies to a sextile with Jupiter. Normally this would be beneficial, but Jupiter has slowed down, will go retrograde, and doesn't translate light to Saturn.

I don't get a better answer if I use Uranus as the modern ruler of Aquarius. It looks like the moon applies to a nice trine, but before it gets there, it hits a square with Venus in the 8th house. I can't help thinking that Venus in the turned 2nd house represents the man's wife. It does rule his 4th house of home and 10th house of career.

Realistically speaking and astrology aside, think about what you see as the wise course of action. Both of you seem to have a strong sense of values, which is to your credit.

If your circumstances should significantly change in the future, you can ask the horary question again.

Do you think your husband would agree to marriage counseling? You don't have to bring up your co-worker, but if you feel your marriage is emotionally barren, this might be something to work on.