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Horary Questions on Relational Issues For horary questions about relationships.


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  #1  
Unread 03-24-2014, 04:43 PM
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Astrodawn Astrodawn is offline
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if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

Hi,

Please could I have some opinions on the following horary question.

Yesterday i had my first falling out with my BF of 9 months. it was over something I consider petty but he pulled his face so much and ended in him saying take your stuff so you dont have to come back. All I said was that I was bored on saturday night because he had spent all friday and saturday looking at bike parts on ebay.
Anyway we havent spoken since, and I cant believe we are falling out over something so petty as we have had no other issues.

He wont message me because he is so stubborn, so im wondering if to message him tonight as I hate being fell out, or will he still be angry that i actually left, and then make things worse. Im stubborn also and wont message twice!

so the question is, "if I contact him will it have a good outcome?"

i will have a go at what I think which has a favourable outcome

I am mercury, he is jupiter - mercury is making an applying trine to jupiter which i would say is me contacting him.

venus is making an applying trine to mars

however im not sure what the applying conjunction from moon to pluto means which is opposite jupiter as I know the moon is important in horary, or the fact that the sun is combust with uranus??

please let me know Im feeling sad :-(

Thanks
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  #2  
Unread 03-24-2014, 06:06 PM
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

Both Mercury and Mars your sig are in bad shape by sign and Mars being rx, whereas his sigs Jupiter and Venus are doing pretty well and nicely placed in signs. It seems you are more upset than he is. Moon is also not happily placed inside Capricorn. While Mars and Venus will trine by aspect, both are moving away from each other by direction. Mercury trines Jupiter so I do think you will contact him, also, you are right there on his house cusp, but it seems maybe the relationship is a little one-sided a this point with you wanting to work it out more than he does. I agree it seems extremely silly to not speak after something so insignificant so it makes me wonder if this was a symptom of bigger problems between the two of you? Maybe he is looking for an excuse for an out?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Astrodawn View Post
Hi,

Please could I have some opinions on the following horary question.

Yesterday i had my first falling out with my BF of 9 months. it was over something I consider petty but he pulled his face so much and ended in him saying take your stuff so you dont have to come back. All I said was that I was bored on saturday night because he had spent all friday and saturday looking at bike parts on ebay.
Anyway we havent spoken since, and I cant believe we are falling out over something so petty as we have had no other issues.

He wont message me because he is so stubborn, so im wondering if to message him tonight as I hate being fell out, or will he still be angry that i actually left, and then make things worse. Im stubborn also and wont message twice!

so the question is, "if I contact him will it have a good outcome?"

i will have a go at what I think which has a favourable outcome

I am mercury, he is jupiter - mercury is making an applying trine to jupiter which i would say is me contacting him.

venus is making an applying trine to mars

however im not sure what the applying conjunction from moon to pluto means which is opposite jupiter as I know the moon is important in horary, or the fact that the sun is combust with uranus??

please let me know Im feeling sad :-(

Thanks
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  #3  
Unread 03-24-2014, 06:33 PM
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

Thanks Vista,

Well your right since i wrote the post I have contacted him and sent him a message about 1/2 hour ago.
He has read it but not responded yet, although im not expecting a response for a couple of hours, I know him well and its his way (he thinks) of punishment. I think because of this he will be ok or a direct statement would have been sent straight away.
I dont think there are underlying issues to be honest, hes been planning our future lately and always looks forward to our weekends.

I think hes probably not as bothered as me cause he knows me well and knows im not one for playing ignoring games and so has just been waiting for the message.

I will update you again in a few hours, I could be completely wrong and end up being dumped :-(

Thanks again

ps does the moon/pluto have any significance?
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Unread 03-24-2014, 07:39 PM
Tessie Tessie is offline
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

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Originally Posted by Astrodawn View Post
[It] ended in him saying take your stuff so you dont have to come back. All I said was that I was bored on saturday night because he had spent all friday and saturday looking at bike parts on ebay.
Anyway we havent spoken since, and I cant believe we are falling out over something so petty as we have had no other issues.

He wont message me because he is so stubborn,
I dont mean to get Dr. Phil about this, but honey yes take your stuff and dont go back. What you have written there says a lot about this guy. The only thing that says anything positive is the longevity of the relationship but I wonder how much of his selfish behaviour you have been overlooking and for what reason.

You are perfectly entitled to say you are bored whether it is to a friend/boyfriend/husband/milkman. Is a relationship supposed to be about honest communication or walking on a wire?

From your desc. he sounds self-centered and manipulative. Even if he no longer wanted to be with you, it is common courtesy for him to, not text, CALL you the next day (at least) to apologise for his rude behaviour the night before (for neglecting you and for throwing you out with your stuff), even if it is within the context of a break up. What a cock. That word "stubborn" that you use to decribe him could be replaced by the word selfish and conceited.

When you call youself stubborn, you may be in some instances, but here you are clearly not because you left when he told you, you took your stuff as he told you, and you are readily doing all the homework before contacting him, when he does not even deserve it. Clearly you love him and are willing to put to the side what may be your stubborn nature, in order to make good something that you were not even responsible for.

I know relationships are complicated. But if you allow him to not take responsibility for his behaviour, this problem will continue and it will define the imbalance in the relationship, which he will consider the norm and the acceptable for the future. There is nothing like looking back at time wasted on someone who did not even treat you with respect.

Please do not be anxious or worry. You did as he asked, albeit rudely and without cause. If there is some extraneous reason why he acted this way, he is a big boy with a big mouth, he can explain that if he so chooses. If he decides not to call to apologise, then you know his ego means more to him than you do. Either way, I hope you will take some time to reconsider this person in your future (someone before you sure did). Peace be to you. <3
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  #5  
Unread 03-24-2014, 08:19 PM
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

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Originally Posted by Astrodawn View Post
He wont message me because he is so stubborn
According to the horary and your last description, he wont message you because he just does not care all that much. He knows you will come running, whilst he "punishes" you for his sad/bad/horrible/rude/mean behaviour with silent treatment. Btw, "silent treatment" is considered an insideous form of emotional abuse (FYI).
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  #6  
Unread 03-24-2014, 09:29 PM
cappy1991 cappy1991 is offline
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

You were just being honest! If you want my opinion, if he dumps you over something like that then that's probably a good thing you're out of the relationship because you can do better then him anyway! hugs
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Unread 03-24-2014, 10:06 PM
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

Thanks for your advice,

He has messaged now right on cue a few hours later as I expected, but to be honest you have given me something to think about, which is also something I had already been thinking deep down inside if im honest, I get involved with men like this all the time, your right he is selfish and treating me poorly, but i was omitting to see this due to him being better than my last 2 ex's who were narcissists.

i need to get out of a loop of being treated poorly :-(
Ive had a bit of a sob, but they were tears of clear vision.

Thanks x
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  #8  
Unread 03-25-2014, 03:44 AM
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

Hi Astrodawn, sorry to get to this late, but I was really drawn to your chart because I had a client with a similar chart (except flipped) just the other day.

In that chart they were Jupiter and their significant other was Mercury, they had also gotten into an argument much like you situation, so that's really interesting. I hope their situation plays out as well as yours has.

You've obviously gotten your answer, of course the applying trine from Mercury to Jupiter from Jupiter's Sign of Pisces is going to be well received, but there are some implications with this that others have touched on in a very heavy-handed way that may not be so deserved.

First is that in this situation, your significator being Mercury shows an imbalance in the relationship where you're willing to change and sort of mold yourself for the relationship, but your boyfriend isn't so willing. That being said, I don't really see anything overtly negative about him or the relationship other than that. Jupiter is strong in its exaltation (which can show someone who thinks more highly of themselves than they really are), but he's in a good house and he's even in sect.

Don't count your relationship out just yet, it seems like he's a decent guy at heart. Voice your concerns, he'll listen. Just maybe not while Mars is retrograde!
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Unread 03-25-2014, 09:23 AM
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Astrodawn View Post
Thanks for your advice,

He has messaged now right on cue a few hours later as I expected, but to be honest you have given me something to think about, which is also something I had already been thinking deep down inside if im honest, I get involved with men like this all the time, your right he is selfish and treating me poorly, but i was omitting to see this due to him being better than my last 2 ex's who were narcissists.

i need to get out of a loop of being treated poorly :-(
Ive had a bit of a sob, but they were tears of clear vision.

Thanks x
Astrodawn, with your prior experience I know that my message was well received, thank you. I come from a narcissistic family and I found myself before getting involved with men who were just like that, because that was what I equated with comfort and with "love." Your current bf behaviour sounds all too familiar - which is why I contributed.

I know Kai has inferred that my input is heavy handed because it does not match directly with the horary. Whilst Kai is a super and prof. astrologer, and I say nothing to discount that, recently I had an experience where my priest was touching me in places he should not have been and saying things he should not have been. I agonised whether to report him and cast a horary chart on another forum. Everyone said that as he was rep. by Jup in Cancer, he was exalted and only meaning well, yet it was clear to them also from my description that he should have been reported.

What I am trying to say is that your bf may look good in this horary because he is unable/unwilling to see himself as anything but a wonderful person (which is the only way narcissists see themselves). If you have had experience with narcissists you will know that dealing with them can take you much lower that what is written here and they will still feel completely blameless and in all ways correct. You have to be the one to decide whether this behaviour is acceptable and sometimes it takes some distance to get perspective.

Have a good day darlin' xo

P.s. youtube has some really good info on silent treatment and narcissism, if you find yourself unsure. But this is a man who enjoys, and takes pride in, punishing/belitteling you.

Last edited by Tessie; 03-25-2014 at 09:58 AM. Reason: P.s.
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  #10  
Unread 03-25-2014, 03:39 PM
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

Hi Tessie,

I would be interested in looking into that horary of yours about your priest, but I'm willing to bet that that situation has resolved itself so I'm not sure how useful that would be. However re: Jupiter in Cancer being a corrupting influence, I'm curious as to what house you used for the priest? Did you use the Ninth?
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Unread 03-25-2014, 04:34 PM
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaiousei no Senshi View Post
Hi Tessie,

I would be interested in looking into that horary of yours about your priest, but I'm willing to bet that that situation has resolved itself so I'm not sure how useful that would be. However re: Jupiter in Cancer being a corrupting influence, I'm curious as to what house you used for the priest? Did you use the Ninth?
Sure, Kai. I have PM you the details. If in my chart, for the sake of discussion, we go with the traditional view of L7 signifiying the priest, the chart shows the priest had no unprofessional intent. But it is still the case that he was professionally wrong in the way that he behaved. It is a matter of perspective of the respective parties. Connecting this to the present thread of Astrodawn and her man, IF he (her bf) is a narcissist or narcissistic, it would make sense that he would feel perfectly entitled and correct in his behaviour, and would perceive his abusive behaviour as delightful: because that is how narcissists think. So the horary would show him as such. But objectively his behaviour to a normal person may be abusive: he is punishing her for something he did wrong, and she is buying it: and he is happy. As far as I understand, horary shows someone's state of mind. But someone being in an exalted state of mind, does not mean necessarily that they are correct.

Last edited by Tessie; 03-25-2014 at 05:02 PM.
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Unread 03-25-2014, 05:17 PM
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tessie
If in my chart, for the sake of discussion, we go with the traditional view of L7 signifiying the priest, the chart shows the priest had no unprofessional intent.
Indeed, but unfortunately the traditional view isn't to use the Seventh for priests, but the Ninth. This would certainly change the story as the significators would be different. However, you are correct in your assessment of Jupiter were he the significator. Jupiter isn't corrupt nor being corrupted, so it would be difficult to sell him as being a malevolent force.

Quote:
As far as I understand, horary shows someone's state of mind. But someone being in an exalted state of mind, does not mean necessarily that they are correct.
I'm glad you brought this up again, because I wanted to respond to it originally but wasn't sure it was appropriate. Fortunately, horary does not reflect subjective states or what individuals think of themselves. If it did, all but the most pessimistic or downtrodden would be signified by dignified or angular planets who promise the ability to complete what is being asked about. Horary only shows us objective states, and if someone is being evil in some sense (whether in general or to a specific thing or person), the chart will show it. However, your assessment of exalted planets is somewhat correct, they tend to think highly of themselves, but it usually isn't with a bad intention, just over confident or arrogant.

Do you have an interest in learning horary?
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Unread 03-25-2014, 05:48 PM
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

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Originally Posted by Kaiousei no Senshi View Post
However, your assessment of exalted planets is somewhat correct, they tend to think highly of themselves, but it usually isn't with a bad intention, just over confident or arrogant.
Fair enough, some people are arrogant. Thank you for your input. Astrodawn, do your natals show the two of you to be compatible? I ask only because arrogance may be overlooked by some people. Yet for others who are on the constant receiving end of it, it can errode their self-esteem. Consider which you are. You are important and your voice and time should be respected, especially in a close and personal relationship.

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Do you have an interest in learning horary?
I do. Yet reading Lilly makes me unsure if I am understanding correctly, so I have just stuck to the forums. Do you have a first recommendation?
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Unread 03-25-2014, 06:37 PM
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

Hi Tesse,

We are only 10 days apart in age, we are very similar in some ways. i will add the charts so you can see for yourself. I would like your opinion.
In terms of interests and humour I have never met anyone else more compatible, we are happier in each others company than communicating via text, and have spent a constant 3 weeks together over Christmas that was wonderful every day.
But it is a bit one sided, with everything revolving around him.
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File Type: jpg Dawn Natal.jpg (84.2 KB, 9 views)
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Unread 03-26-2014, 09:36 PM
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

Thank you, Astrodawn, for posting your charts. If you are a beginner, then we are two beginners looking together. Is some kind of artistic expression important to you, in terms of career? That Jupiter/Venus looks really interesting in your chart.

Looking at his chart, I notice that he has an Aquarius moon: seeks freedom of emotional expression; unusual relationships. In the negative expression, emotional perversity and stubborness. Your moon conj. Uranus, maybe you enjoy being kept on your toes that way. With a lack of water in your chart, perhaps you are not as sensitive as I would be to the above scenario. But that could mean that you may be able to endure it for longer, which is not always a good thing. With Merc. rx, you may be at risk of internalising effects. I am not sure how you experience that rx.

With his Pluto squaring your Mercury and conj. your moon, you may experience him to be controlling of you. Additionally, that control may find expression subconsciously (the more damaging and undetected option) owing to the implication of the moon and the retrograde Merc. The further placement of your moon in the second house may also underline his negative/controlling/manipulative influence on your self-worth.

His rising sign, Libra, is a human violent sign. Venus, its ruler, is in Sag. and then Jupiter is in a Venus ruled sign. I am not sure if they still call this a mutual reception in natal astrology, but it is significant. Particularly, when considering that Jupiter is involved in a grand trine encompassing Pluto, the sun, and the 8th house (Jupiter), being counterpart to the second, I wonder whether he has an egotistical (sun) need to control (Pluto) other's resources (8th). With the air in this Asc and his moon, I do not dobt this decreases his ability to experience empathy. Each of these may not be a problem but may be toxic working as a combo.

Mercury conj. Mercury: similar viewpoints/ease in communication. As you say, it seems an overall compatible synastry. Yet, you are an air free native, maybe more grounded than him. Remember, these are the observations of an astro. beginner. Maybe if you are still interested you could post the charts on the Read My Chart subforum, with a small description of your concern, in hope that someone more experienced in natal would chime in to help.

I cant help myself, I still need to say that he:
1. Was disrespectful and immature to ignore your feelings
2. Was disrespectful for telling you to leave beacause you voiced them
3. Was disrespectful and selfish not to have called/come to see you/sent flowers and a card to apologise
4. Is disrespectful and outright mean for being manipulative
5. Is ungrateful to have someone who clearly loves him
6. Is an exploitative character, lacking in empathy, if he thinks that its one rule for him and another rule for you.

Its like, if you have a problem as a couple, you should be able to talk about it. He should be man enough to hear feedback rather than doing a callous thing like throwing a woman out on the street and then waiting for her phone call and actually sucking it up. He may have a penis but he is not a man. Sorry Dawn, this is no disrespect to you. You sound like a lovely lady and I am sure you do not need to be crying and using your most precious possession, time, on someone who ignores your wellbeing and exploits your self-esteem. He is a broken person trying to feed of you.

As for the past, that's gone. You were nice to him and he was nice to you. You dont owe him anything. What is important is how he/anyone treats you now, right?
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Unread 03-26-2014, 10:42 PM
MissScorpio MissScorpio is offline
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

Vista, may I ask, did you use Mars as one of the sigs because you looked to the third house for communication? So you are using both the ascendant ruler and the third house?
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Unread 03-26-2014, 11:27 PM
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Re: if i contact him will it be a good outcome?

Hi Miss Scorpio,

I used her 1st house as primary ruler and her 3rd house ruler Mars as a secondary ruler. His 7th as primary and his turned 3rd(9th) for secondary.

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Vista, may I ask, did you use Mars as one of the sigs because you looked to the third house for communication? So you are using both the ascendant ruler and the third house?
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Unread 03-26-2014, 11:38 PM
MissScorpio MissScorpio is offline
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Ok thanks I have never heard that - so the third house had nothing to do with communication in the sense that it would be initiated as the house of contacts ?



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Hi Miss Scorpio,

I used her 1st house as primary ruler and her 3rd house ruler Mars as a secondary ruler. His 7th as primary and his turned 3rd(9th) for secondary.
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