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  #1  
Unread 12-04-2013, 04:29 PM
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Astrodawn Astrodawn is offline
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Help Confusion - Synastry with Venus/Pluto

I need input and advice from someone who is good with synastry readings, Im am completely confused about what to do and need help!

I met my current BF 5 months ago, we met very shortly after he had split up from a very volatile short term relationship (4 months) in which he was very angry about what his ex had done to him, she had continually threatened him with the police everytime they fell out, he said he had had enough of her and ended the relationship, and she went to the police and lied about him being abusive to which he was arrested and cautioned due to no evidence (she has a history of doing this to other men I know this as fact) he was so outraged by the injustice and the fact he couldnt vent his anger he couldnt stop thinking about it.
We started off as friends, our birthdays/age are only 10 days apart, and we are very similar (I had also had a very similar injustice happen to me 7 months before) and over the next few weeks we spoke every day on the phone, went out at weekends and connected on a very 'same' level. I empathised deeply with his predicament having been in a similar place myself and we found we had a highly similar view/principles/morals on life as well as interests, and everything else at the time he was totally honest with me about how he felt and that he couldnt/didnt want to be reminded of his disastrous past relationships by being in love again.

For the past 4 months we have been in an intimate relationship and I have stopped at his house Friday - Sunday evening every week. During that time we are constantly in each others company and have never had a crossed word and the time we spend together is happy full of laughter and completely enjoyable on both parts. We fell out for an hour once...but that was during the week not in each others company. During the week we have been in constant contact, hours on the phone and continual texts. The intimacy started off slowly but has been developing on a weekly basis, until now it feels like the most solid and stable partnership I have ever had, we are so highly compatible in each others company and I can see myself being able to be in a long term relationship with him without the usual chaos that inflicts my love life because we are true friends.

He is not very affectionate verbally and isnt one for holding hands etc but over the past 4 months he has increasingly shown real consideration and signs of making me feel cared for and valued by little things I only have to say I like something and he buys it for me again not big gifts but his fridge is filled with things I like, he has put a bin in the bathroom for my lady things, he cooks for me continually, etc I have been introduced to his best friend and I am always invited to go out with them both, although recently he prefers to spend his time with just me, he speaks to his mum about me, he uses the phrase 'we' and 'us' all the time, his plans always include me in the future and we have planned to go away in March, he talks about us being old together and we are planning christmas together where he wants me to stay for the week, I have even had a say in the choice of colour for his new front door for his house to which he said he told the salesman it was his GF's choice.

The confusion -

When I first started seeing him he was always talking about his ex but this has decreased steadily over the months so that at the moment its getting intermittent. Last week while he was telling me a story on the phone about his ex's always saying love you this i love you that, I commented and asked him if it did his head in with him not being affectionate to which he blew his stack and said ' I was with them, I told you that im not going to love again and that I should stop digging into his personal feelings about his ex's and that he wasnt prepared to be reminded of love again at this time, and that I wasnt to talk about romance or love, and that simply I wasnt butterfly girl.

I was going to pick my stuff up a few days later and finish things there and then, but he rang me and said, he was sorry, he was just hurt from what had happened and that he'd had real feelings for his ex that he cant just switch on and off and that he just needed time. He then text and said I really dont want us to ever fall out. I spent the weekend with him which was as good as ever but what he said especially about butterfly girl and the lack of verbal affection between us has now started to confuse me. His actions say one thing, his words say another.

My astrological input -

We have similar hard charts and both have what I affectionately call the virgo bad boys.

He has:
Venus conjunct mercury
Venus square pluto
Venus square uranus
Venus square Mars

- all his relationships over the past 15 years have been crazy, obsessive and volatile. I think he is addicted to the butterfly feeling of the new relationship which is fueled by anxiety stress and arguing, even though he says hes tired of it now, he thinks those feelings equal love, the more volatile the more he feels he is in love. Is it because he doesnt feel this agression/instability with me that he thinks im not lovable??

With me we dont argue, we are not volatile and we get on incredibly well.
This is an absolute surprise because in synastry we have:

his venus/mercury square my pluto
his venus/mercury square my uranus
his venus/mercury square my mars

but I also have natally

mercury square pluto
mercury square uranus
mercury square mars

all our charts are the same apart from a an exact quincux moons both 7 degees aquarius/virgo.

Should I follow my brain and stop seeing him as my feelings for him are increasing rapidly and I am going to fall in love with him, or should I follow my gut instincts based on what I feel from him and his actions and just continue and wait for him??

Any input will be gratefully received, i will attach both the synastry and composite, i would like to know if the long term potential is there or am I just going to get hurt?
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Dawn & Andy Synastry.jpg (54.0 KB, 6 views)
File Type: jpg Dawn & Andy Composite.jpg (86.8 KB, 8 views)
Attached Files
File Type: pdf Dawn & Andy synastry data.pdf (68.2 KB, 2 views)

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  #2  
Unread 12-04-2013, 05:22 PM
Zarathu Zarathu is offline
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Re: Help Confusion - Synastry with Venus/Pluto

Let me ask you a non-astrological question:

Remember that you cannot change him with your love. This is a mistake that countless men and women down through history continue to make: they believe that the potential woman or man for whom they love will change.

People can change when they reach a crises, and if they are in danger of losing something very very important to them. But generally without that impetus, they won't, and if the impetus goes away, they tend to go back to the way they were. 40 years of professional counseling showed me that(I was was the professional not the counselee!). A reason for hitting my head against the wall unfortunately.

So, assuming that I am right, do you want to spend the rest of your life, every day, every minute, through every crises over and over and over again with this man?

You may not need astrology here. You may already know the answer to your question.

If not, we can certainly look at the synastry, and also how he deals with change.
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  #3  
Unread 12-04-2013, 05:45 PM
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Astrodawn Astrodawn is offline
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Re: Help Confusion - Synastry with Venus/Pluto

hi Zarutha

I think I understand what you are saying?

I know you cannot make someone love you, but everything he does the way he is with me says that he is attaching himself to me in a way that anyone else would recognise as love. I say this because up to a few years ago I was exactly the same I didnt think I was in love unless I was in an unstable volatile relationship, then I met someone who changed that and I experienced the feeling of real love, not the crazy infactuation of romantic love, i was very happy, unfortunately he died or we would have still been together now.

It is this and the way we are that makes me feel he is worth staying with, his actions say to me he is experiencing something he doesnt understand but wants (does that make sense)

I have a big need for freedom and i suppose i can be somewhat eccentric, this man is the same, i deal with crisis cause my whole life has been one, our needs and eccentricities are the same which enables us to be highly compatibile in a stable way...not something usual.

I appreciate what your saying and I will think about it, but I would still like to have the synastry and composite looked at...
I dont want him to change, we are very honest with each other in this respect and I am able to be myself he is himself and we are highly supportive of each others pasts, its just what he says about being hurt and the way he acts towards me are very contradictory?

Dawn
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Last edited by Astrodawn; 12-04-2013 at 05:49 PM.
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  #4  
Unread 12-04-2013, 06:01 PM
Zarathu Zarathu is offline
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Re: Help Confusion - Synastry with Venus/Pluto

OK... I PM'd you or am about to do so.
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  #5  
Unread 12-04-2013, 06:04 PM
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Re: Help Confusion - Synastry with Venus/Pluto

Thanks I appreciate it :-)
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  #6  
Unread 12-05-2013, 04:49 PM
Zarathu Zarathu is offline
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Re: Help Confusion - Synastry with Venus/Pluto

We're going to have to do this in pieces.


First of all there are two salient features of both of your cognition(part of the Cognition Quotient of The Seven Quotients of Astrology© by Zarathu), which are important to think about before we go into a discussion of your charts. I donít have time to do a full analysis of how both of your think about the world, which really should happen to do a decent relationship analysis.

Lets look at some significant impacts of your cognition, in what you bring to the relationship and what you struggle with everyday:

1. You have a VERY high latitude Moon
You tend to be a person who not only demands to get their own way, but just plain expects it. Projects tend to take on the sorcerer apprentice and keep going even when they want them to stopóboth personal and professional.


2. You have a mutable moon/Saturn T-Square with a VEnus Apex. Venus has no power but it does have friction. A mutable T-square has lots and lots of characteristics:

a. Lessons involve resolving boredom and restlessness that prevents your from accomplishing things of a substantial nature
b. You have a tendency to have difficulty setting goals
c. You have a tendency to live from moment to moment, and may often resist planning ahead for things

The Moon opp Saturn is the strongest negative characteristic in your chart. Oppositions require you to break through a glass ceiling, and they take most of your life to solve, some never do. You canít just work harder, you have to change something, give something up. This one gives you basic difficulties between you and the people you have to deal with. You tend to have this natural conflict between your feeling and your thinking about things. And your high latitude Moon throw a wrench into this because you expect to get what you want. You end up unconsciously communicating your psychological hangup to your partner, your friends and even your business associates. Some time this is seen by the more directed among them as weakness and you may have people trying take advantage of that. When you try to assert your individuality you may be torn by you wanting your individuality not to damage that of your partner. But you want their support.

In a relationship, you tend to demand that the other person will fulfill your every need: love friendship, sustaining your goals , sharing your setbacks, helping your weak areas, and sharing everything with you. This is a big thing, and not every partner can do this along with the other stuff.

Your ability to deal with the partnership is dependent partly on you knowing where you stand.

Venus as the apex planet in your T-square is not really strong but it still will impact negatively. This can mean that with what we see above:

a. you can be unpredictable in love relationships
b. you struggle with determining how the various roles in a relationship are to be handled
c. You may need to periodically separate from your partner
d. You may constantly feel like you need space and room to breath, despite your need to have him have all those roles. This will make it difficult for him to interact with you, because he may have trouble figuring out whether its support time or breather time
e. You may have an underlying problem with too much commitment as an attack on your freedom of action

Next what he brings to the relationship.....
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Unread 12-05-2013, 06:50 PM
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Re: Help Confusion - Synastry with Venus/Pluto

Wow Zuratha!!

I dont know which bit to comment on....its so accurate! In later life I have recognised all these things, especially with the moon/saturn opposition and I feel I have made the necessary changes to be able to deal with it better.

My tendency to live from moment to moment I view as a strength and my boredom threshold is very low.

I do require all this:
In a relationship, you tend to demand that the other person will fulfill your every need: love friendship, sustaining your goals , sharing your setbacks, helping your weak areas, and sharing everything with you. This is a big thing, and not every partner can do this along with the other stuff.

Current man in question does fit all this very easily and he gives me freedom to go with it, that is one of the reasons I like him so much, I spend 3 days with him and 4 days at home, this allows me the freedom I need, he doesnt treat me as an object and doesnt make me feel as though Im expected to do anything.

I cant wait to see the next part, with my part being so accurate, I am going to be very intrigued into the insight you are going to give me into how he actually is/will be!

Thankyou!!
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Unread 12-05-2013, 06:53 PM
Zarathu Zarathu is offline
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Re: Help Confusion - Synastry with Venus/Pluto

Quote:
Originally Posted by Astrodawn View Post

I cant wait to see the next part, with my part being so accurate, I am going to be very intrigued into the insight you are going to give me into how he actually is/will be!

Thankyou!!
So I can only go down hill from here! I love it!
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Unread 12-05-2013, 10:02 PM
Zarathu Zarathu is offline
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Re: Help Confusion - Synastry with Venus/Pluto

Lets see how far I can fall is the second round....


For Andy:

1. He has an earth grand trine. This is a triangle in some ways similar to your t-square.

Grand trines have lots of characteristics which hold the native inside of him or her self.
His is extra complex because Its Jupiter trining the conjunction of Uranus and Pluto trining the Sun. Its very difficult to figure this out clearly.

Trines by themselves are usually considered easy going, but when you put them together their easy going attitude because a kind of self perpetual eternal motion machine which isolates them from everything else. The problem is partly that they prefer this easy going circumstance, and they simply don't know what to do with the circumstances when someone or something literally bops him on the head and breaks his quiet world with stuff from the outside.

Having Jupiter in the trine and having Jupiter being the second most powerful planet and the lowest friction planet brings easy going nature to the fore. the Sun is the most powerful planet and the second lowest friction, essentially the same as Jupiter actually

The both trine Uranus/Pluto, which are not as strong but also low in friction.

The elements of a grand trine that may be impactive here are:

a. Tend to prefer a state of internal harmony without outside interference
b. Personal needs are often provided by the people and situations of his life
c. While they may be charming, they also donít have the power to solve issues in their life head on---especially if those issues are coming from the outside. He may not recognize them as a problem, until the bob him over the head. This failure to recognize a problem as its building is an essential nature of the grand trine.

And then when the issue finally intervenes the GT has no means to solve it and often acts in fairly rigid ways.

Specifically Andyís grand trine is a Earth Grand Trine. The earth grand trine in many ways doesnít look like the general sense of a grand trine because he is so connected to everyday life operations. Because its some related to everyday affairs it can make it look like they don't actually have a grand trine. It can look like they are attuned to the issues around them. But they are not really. They are attuned to keeping things stable and calm, inside of them.

He probably complements your frenic pace and love of freedom because the calming comforting power of the earth trine, with the expansiveness of Jupiter and the support of his own self image Sun assists you.

His inner security comes from inside, so heís not going to be affected by your freedom actions as causing him to lose security---unless they shake up his quiet ordered world. You coming and going doesn't really do that. But you sounding like something that did shake up his world could.

Inner strength may be awesome but there is no charisma, unfortunately. He may get stuck in ruts that keep him in the mundane surface of living, and never move into what you would describe as deep issues.

He never takes risk chances or gambles with anything they already have.

He may a tendency to pursue gratifying personal appetites. Things that he likes to do he does, perhaps without variety.

He has the capacity to attract, accumulate, and manage material resources is readily developed.

He needs to seek out material ambitions so that they doesnít stagnate and stay stuck in his own inertia.

So while all of these things will complement your more outgoing and sometimes paradoxical attitudes, providing support and not getting overwhelmed by things, you may eventually find his attitudes to be.... well.... dull. And you may have to be on guard to be very very careful not to shake the boat of his calm world. This part may be more difficult for you in the long run as you've already discovered in some ways I suspect. I wouldn't want to say that you have to walk on eggshells, but that unexpected volcanic explosions are possible due to the fact that he keeps everything so bottled up. He's not an angry guy, and Mars has no power in his chart, but there is power in there, and if you tap it in the wrong way it will be a short lived release of the energy. But when its gone, if you judiciously step out of the way, and not freak out thinking its something much deeper than it is, you can then help him and yourself.

2. And Pluto in a Critical Degree: Pluto represents transformation and huge changes. Being in a critical degree means that he may feel that he is always on the edge of some momentous change, but with his grand trine its doesnít seem to arrive. This would be more of an issue if Pluto was really strong or really high friction.

All in all, Andy seems a good match on the surface for you, but the devil is in the details, and little molehill issues can sometimes become mountains if your high friction planets are in his high friction houses, and vice versa and if his high friction planets are in hard aspect to your high friction planets.

Next.... The devil in the details.
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Unread 12-06-2013, 03:55 PM
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Astrodawn Astrodawn is offline
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Re: Help Confusion - Synastry with Venus/Pluto

Fab again Zatrutha! (from what I know of him)

I was really interested in your interpretation of his earth grand trine being similar to my sat/moon/venus t square - I never really looked at it like that and I did wonder how that grand trine played out.

this is very true:
a. Tend to prefer a state of internal harmony without outside interference
b. Personal needs are often provided by the people and situations of his life

as is:
Inner strength may be awesome but there is no charisma, unfortunately. He may get stuck in ruts that keep him in the mundane surface of living, and never move into what you would describe as deep issues.

Although im not sure what you mean by no charisma, he is a very charismatic person. he does tend to look at things on the surface in some areas, he has a great natural ability in seeing psychology of others and can instinctively see where people are operating from with some depth, although in my opinion he cannot do this for himself and things are surface rather than deep when analysing his own emotional situations where he just goes round and round.

I now wait with some intrigue!!

"All in all, Andy seems a good match on the surface for you, but the devil is in the details, and little molehill issues can sometimes become mountains if your high friction planets are in his high friction houses, and vice versa and if his high friction planets are in hard aspect to your high friction planets"

Next.... The devil in the details.

I may now reply as quickly as Im heading over to his house shortly for the weekend :-)
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  #11  
Unread 12-07-2013, 03:01 AM
Zarathu Zarathu is offline
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Re: Help Confusion - Synastry with Venus/Pluto

You've miss written my Astrology name Zarathu, so many times differently that this afternoon, I couldn't remember myself how it is actually spelled and had to look it up.

I'm finding it humorous since you've said such nice things.
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Unread 12-07-2013, 01:23 PM
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Astrodawn Astrodawn is offline
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Re: Help Confusion - Synastry with Venus/Pluto

Haha! Im so sorry Zarathy ;-) No really I am after all the effort your putting in for me, please accept my apologies Zarathu :-) Im a lecturer and I think I get name overload due to having to remember about 250 new names each year Ive developed a name remembering strategy which sometimes doesnt work! I shall reprogram my brain and take extra special care from now on!
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