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  #1  
Unread 05-16-2009, 04:58 AM
sara31tx sara31tx is offline
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Please Help me with my daughters chart

I am having alot of problems with my daughter..I stay stressed out all the time..My daughter has always been very stubborn, but since she is getting closer to starting puberty..it is getting worse..She does not listen to me at all..She does what she wants..She has become obsessed with celebrities to the point that it's all she talks about now..She told a girl on the bus today that was giving her a hard time that her and her momma can go to hell..lol..What is even more shocking is that my daughter tells me this stuff and does not care what my reaction will be..it scares me. If she is like this at 10 years old, I am afraid to see her behavior at 16..She does not like being told what to do at all..Can someone look at her chart and tell me what you see, I am going crazy over here..lol
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Unread 05-16-2009, 05:49 AM
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

Sara, I moved your post because you did not offer an astrological insights related to your question (see Forum rules, and the purposes of different boards.) If you would also post your own chart, that might help with seeing the inter-personal dynamics.

I note that your daughter has Pluto (conjunct Mercury) square Moon (conjunct MC) at the same degree. The moon is one indication of one's mother in a chart. I wonder if she finds you to be a very Plutonian kind of person. Pluto conjunct Mercury can indicate someone who is a devastating critic.

Are you a single mother? Can you indicate the status of Dad in her life? If you are a single mom, is it possible that she blames you for her father's absence or lesser presence in her life? What is your system of discipline for her?
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Unread 05-19-2009, 05:00 AM
sara31tx sara31tx is offline
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

Quote:
Originally Posted by waybread
Sara, I moved your post because you did not offer an astrological insights related to your question (see Forum rules, and the purposes of different boards.) If you would also post your own chart, that might help with seeing the inter-personal dynamics.

I note that your daughter has Pluto (conjunct Mercury) square Moon (conjunct MC) at the same degree. The moon is one indication of one's mother in a chart. I wonder if she finds you to be a very Plutonian kind of person. Pluto conjunct Mercury can indicate someone who is a devastating critic.

Are you a single mother? Can you indicate the status of Dad in her life? If you are a single mom, is it possible that she blames you for her father's absence or lesser presence in her life? What is your system of discipline for her?
I am married to her father..As far as discipline, we usually take things away from her, or she misses out on special events. My husband and I have not been as consistant as we should be, but we are fixing to change all that before it gets out of hand.
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Unread 05-16-2009, 05:56 AM
The Ten Minute Astrologer The Ten Minute Astrologer is offline
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

My goodness, your daughter is a Scorpio with a Scorpio rising. She is exercising control. That is what they are best at. Difficult personalities are always more pronounced in kids because they haven't matured yet.

What sign are you? I think that might help. If you are a fixed sign like Leo, Aquarius or Taurus it could exacerbate the problem.
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  #5  
Unread 05-16-2009, 06:40 AM
AquariusT AquariusT is offline
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

Well, "Where is the Mother" question, is the Moon and that is in the 10th. Conjunct Mars and Squares Pluto. She came in with some harsh hard karma feelings for you. Perhaps you can work it out this lifetime. She is angry with you.

But do you sincerely have no idea why?
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Unread 05-17-2009, 01:51 PM
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

Astrological data are highly sensitive. Therefore ask you to take the protection of your personal data of third persons very seriously. If you wish to post your chart orthe chart of a person known to you, you must have their permission to do so or better still anonymize the name and all birth/personal data. If this is not the case, please refrain from posting this chart.

It would have been helpful if you posted your natal and synastry between you, cos we can only give you half the picture here...

Solar arc Asc is now conj Pluto which is her energy in first house which is the main problem here and if you use 1'approaching, this year exact and next year departing, like you would with transits, the effect will wear off and in 3years time it will conj her Mercury which may help. But as mercury is also square jupiter, this aspect can overtalk and not shut up or keep quiet when it should be talking..

If her time is correct SA MC conj moon age 2.25ish was when she become restless, maybe family moved house??

Her moon is quincunxed uranus
You may have to sort through the "hidden messages" you received as a child in order to make sense out of some of your adult actions. You act, at times, without any forethought. This is because you are driven by forces out of your immediate awareness. Your spontaneous bursts of enthusiasm either serve you well or they don't. Early in life you may have been "told" that you should be different, but, your differences will stop you from succeeding. It takes time and adjustment to really learn that it's okay to be both unique and successful.

http://cafeastrology.com/natal/quinc...retations.html

Middle August this year T Saturn will conj her natal mars which will cause some frustrations and as her Mars is already square mercury which = argumentativeness. When saturn gets there and squares mercury, she may learn to slow her thoughts and communications down and it should be quite good for studies. Although this will also oppose n Jupiter in 4th and these planets really don't get along too well.

astro.com has a free six month transit forecaster...

Hope this helps to explain some of her behaviour, but without seeing your chart and the synastry bi wheel cannot comment much further..


http://www.khaldea.com/kldaephem/2000/aug2009gmt.shtml
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Unread 05-19-2009, 04:55 AM
sara31tx sara31tx is offline
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

Quote:
Originally Posted by AquariusT
Well, "Where is the Mother" question, is the Moon and that is in the 10th. Conjunct Mars and Squares Pluto. She came in with some harsh hard karma feelings for you. Perhaps you can work it out this lifetime. She is angry with you.

But do you sincerely have no idea why?
I really have no idea..I don't think she is angry with me, because she is this way with her dad as well. My daughter just wants to do her own thing without anyone telling her what to do.She wants to be an adult right now..lol.. We talk alot and everything is good until you tell her to do her homework or take a shower or clean her room, anything that she does not want to do...lol..She will clean her room without any problems, but she wants something in return..lol If I do not play her game and give her what she wants, she tells me, well, guess it ain't getting cleaned then..lol..My husband and I are going to sit down and try and figure out what we need to do, and then sit down with my daughter and try and come to an understanding.
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Unread 05-17-2009, 04:44 PM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

Quote:
Originally Posted by sara31tx
I am having alot of problems with my daughter..I stay stressed out all the time..My daughter has always been very stubborn, but since she is getting closer to starting puberty..it is getting worse..She does not listen to me at all..She does what she wants..She has become obsessed with celebrities to the point that it's all she talks about now..She told a girl on the bus today that was giving her a hard time that her and her momma can go to hell..lol..What is even more shocking is that my daughter tells me this stuff and does not care what my reaction will be..it scares me. If she is like this at 10 years old, I am afraid to see her behavior at 16..She does not like being told what to do at all..Can someone look at her chart and tell me what you see, I am going crazy over here..lol

It may appear that she is pushing you away, but I do not think she wants to. I believe that she wants to see if you will fight for her,and will work for her love.
Her Virgo Moon at the top of her chart may appear to be a verbal bully, and to find fault with everyone and everything, but the squares from Pluto/Merc
indicate that she internalizes much of it, and turns it inward, attacking herself as well. Can she ever measure up to her own high standards? She seems to be looking to you for that loving affirmation, but she may feel like you have pulled away yourself. The Moon at the tip-top of the chart is a long way away from it's natural 4th house home. it is flapping in the wind, uncertain if there is unconditional acceptance and love back home.

You say that she doesn't listen to you anymore, and I can see that, with her first house merc/pluto , she thinks she already knows everything. But she does watch you and she does emulate you in other ways. Are you doing everything that you can do in terms of modeling behavior with others?
I feel that might be the best way to get to her, by example.

It feels to me that she is loaded with resentment. Is there some way in her mind, that you are 'letting her down.' It may even be irrational on her part, but she seems to feel as if you have rejected her, and let her down, even though you have gone to great lengths not to do that.

That exact conjunction of Venus and Chiron has me stumped. There is something about physical beauty that she feels hurt by perhaps. Is she extremely attractive. That sun/chiron/venus in Scorpio in 12th with support from Jupiter and mars would indicate physical attraction. So the Chiron is a puzzle.
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Unread 05-17-2009, 05:36 PM
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

Chiron in Scorpio

The issue here is power. Those with Chiron in Scorpio may fear their own power and try to suppress it. Conversely, they may feel powerless and try to cover this up by acting strong (even to the point of being a bully). Sex is only one way this may work out, and yes, having compulsive sex is one possibility. Another is an avoidance of sex because it's too "dangerous" (they may try to dominate me). This would be a perfect placement for a sex therapist who can help everyone else with their sexual problems but cannot help themselves. Inheritance matters may also be a sore point. Problems and upsets would tend to come with it.

Chiron and Venus
Please try to get some pleasure for yourself in a relationship instead of always helping your partner to open up. Chiron/Venus aspects can make for a great art teacher who (as always with Chiron) can teach their students to create art better than they themselves could ever do. These aspects are also good for giving great financial advice (Venus rules Taurus, the money sign) while one's own handling of money matters is a disaster area.

http://www.cafeastrology.com/article...nthesigns.html
http://www.cafeastrology.com/article...nthesigns.html
Chiron and the Sun
The effects can be similar to Chiron in Leo (which is ruled by the Sun). Chiron aspects to the Sun can make you feel "special." There is frequently a strong sense of being here for some grand "purpose" or other. There is an ability to help others with their creativity and self-expression, but if you have this aspect, make sure not to neglect your own. Negatively, there could be an increased sensitivity to criticism of any sort. Learn to take it without feeling like you are being attacked or that they all hate you.
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Unread 05-19-2009, 04:30 AM
sara31tx sara31tx is offline
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

Here is my chart..I am married to her dad, so I am not a single mom.
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Unread 05-19-2009, 05:28 AM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

Quote:
Originally Posted by sara31tx
Here is my chart..I am married to her dad, so I am not a single mom.
Looking at your chart, I can see how much you love your family.
Your 4th house is very full and Piscean, so it is almost your entire world.
Your 5th house of kids has a very late Pisces cusp, but is mostly Aries inside. My interpretation is that you may seem very easy going and permissive towards your kid[s]. But the Aries interception says that hidden below that is some hidden anger perhaps.[ Sun/Mars square] You may accidentally be sending mixed messages, and could be passive/aggressive when trying to parent her. You say everything is fine, and then below the surface you hold some impatience and anger that she can feel.

Maybe her angry words to you are designed to force you out of the Piscean way of ignoring things for too long. The Chiron is there, simmering in Aries in the 5th, urging you to heal that hidden aggression. It may be out of sight, and people may think that you are calm and collected most of the time, but it takes work for you to keep that exterior up and working. :60:

Your daughter seems to be releasing anger and rage that she taps into and triggers from within your own reserves. Your 1st house Neptune may force you to isolate yourself from others so you do not pop a cork, but that frustration and anger is still there.

Maybe this is a journey that you 2 can take together. And if you want to free her up for her puberty cycle, then maybe you can both find ways to work out hidden aggression together.
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Unread 05-19-2009, 05:45 AM
sara31tx sara31tx is offline
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid
Looking at your chart, I can see how much you love your family.
Your 4th house is very full and Piscean, so it is almost your entire world.
Your 5th house of kids has a very late Pisces cusp, but is mostly Aries inside. My interpretation is that you may seem very easy going and permissive towards your kid[s]. But the Aries interception says that hidden below that is some hidden anger perhaps.[ Sun/Mars square] You may accidentally be sending mixed messages, and could be passive/aggressive when trying to parent her. You say everything is fine, and then below the surface you hold some impatience and anger that she can feel.

Maybe her angry words to you are designed to force you out of the Piscean way of ignoring things for too long. The Chiron is there, simmering in Aries in the 5th, urging you to heal that hidden aggression. It may be out of sight, and people may think that you are calm and collected most of the time, but it takes work for you to keep that exterior up and working. :60:

Your daughter seems to be releasing anger and rage that she taps into and triggers from within your own reserves. Your 1st house Neptune may force you to isolate yourself from others so you do not pop a cork, but that frustration and anger is still there.

Maybe this is a journey that you 2 can take together. And if you want to free her up for her puberty cycle, then maybe you can both find ways to work out hidden aggression together.
I do have problems with anger, it was not always there, it just got to the point where I was tired of being used. I am one of those people who have a hardtime hurting peoples feelings.I have been told on more than one occasion that I am too nice..lol..People tend to take advantage of that. I do have to have time to myself, more then most people. My husband and I even sleep in seperate beds..lol..I cannot sleep with his snoring..lol..I have always been very sensitive to people, more then most people, I pick up on everybodies mood in the room, and this is why I have to have time to myself. Thankyou so much for your help
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Unread 05-19-2009, 04:41 AM
sara31tx sara31tx is offline
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid
It may appear that she is pushing you away, but I do not think she wants to. I believe that she wants to see if you will fight for her,and will work for her love.
Her Virgo Moon at the top of her chart may appear to be a verbal bully, and to find fault with everyone and everything, but the squares from Pluto/Merc
indicate that she internalizes much of it, and turns it inward, attacking herself as well. Can she ever measure up to her own high standards? She seems to be looking to you for that loving affirmation, but she may feel like you have pulled away yourself. The Moon at the tip-top of the chart is a long way away from it's natural 4th house home. it is flapping in the wind, uncertain if there is unconditional acceptance and love back home.

You say that she doesn't listen to you anymore, and I can see that, with her first house merc/pluto , she thinks she already knows everything. But she does watch you and she does emulate you in other ways. Are you doing everything that you can do in terms of modeling behavior with others?
I feel that might be the best way to get to her, by example.

It feels to me that she is loaded with resentment. Is there some way in her mind, that you are 'letting her down.' It may even be irrational on her part, but she seems to feel as if you have rejected her, and let her down, even though you have gone to great lengths not to do that.

That exact conjunction of Venus and Chiron has me stumped. There is something about physical beauty that she feels hurt by perhaps. Is she extremely attractive. That sun/chiron/venus in Scorpio in 12th with support from Jupiter and mars would indicate physical attraction. So the Chiron is a puzzle.
My daughter is very attractive
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Unread 05-19-2009, 05:03 AM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

Quote:
Originally Posted by sara31tx
My daughter is very attractive

BINGO. That is what I thought.


"That exact conjunction of Venus and Chiron has me stumped. There is something about physical beauty that she feels hurt by perhaps. Is she extremely attractive. That sun/chiron/venus in Scorpio in 12th with support from Jupiter and mars would indicate physical attraction. So the Chiron is a puzzle. "

What I was trying to get at, was that her attractiveness is kind of difficult at times because she is not yet sure what to do or how to act or how to deal with it all. And the Chiron adds a fear factor to it, because she is often resented by other girls, and even their mothers at times, and it can be overwhelming for her. The easiest thing for her is to lash out.


I have a 16 yr old girl who is very beautiful. And 4th and 5th grade were a difficult time for awhile because of the backlash from others because she had a successful acting and modeling career going on. You would thin k her friends would have been happy for her, but it was not always that way.

The main reason I tell you this is because it was very important for her to learn to work through this stuff with her friends. We did NOT take the easy way out and home school and have her devote her time to her acting/singing etc. She stayed in school, and still worked, but she had to LEARN to make and keep her friends by appropriate reactions to their B.S.

Your daughter having all of that Scorpio stuff [sun/chiron/venus] in the 12th
will be her 'guiding light' or her 'undoing' when puberty finally hits,and it is kind of up to you to help guide her through it all successfully. :60:

As a Scorpio, I can tell you that when a young Scorpionic girl enters puberty, there are all kinds of mixed messages she sends out and receives.
She is dying to try out her new magnetic energy, but also afraid and uncertain. She may find herself in unmanageable , sexually charged, situations and needs your guidance to help navigate through those dangerous waters.

These situations make the young girl feel guilty, even if she does nothing wrong. And there are probably others already trying to label her unfairly.

It may seem a little early for all of this kind of talk, but her chart indicates that her burgeoning sexual energy will be a BIG factor in her adolescence, and it will be worthwhile for the two of you to have a meeting of the minds.

the most important thing will be for you to totally accept her, and her questions, and not to be judgemental because she will easily slip into feeling unfairly treated by you unfortunately.
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Unread 05-19-2009, 05:14 AM
sara31tx sara31tx is offline
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

Thanks alot for the info..right now she is going through the tomboy stage..My daughter looks exactly like I did at her age..My daughter is growing up fast, and we talk all the time about such issues as boys and sex..I had to start talking about this early, because my daughter showed an interest in boys very early. I worry about all this, I think my problem is, that I love my daughter so much and I worry about things happening to her.I myself went through alot growing up, and it just scares me. I think I am also a little upset that she is growing up too..lol..feel like I am losing my little girl.

Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid
BINGO. That is what I thought.


"That exact conjunction of Venus and Chiron has me stumped. There is something about physical beauty that she feels hurt by perhaps. Is she extremely attractive. That sun/chiron/venus in Scorpio in 12th with support from Jupiter and mars would indicate physical attraction. So the Chiron is a puzzle. "

What I was trying to get at, was that her attractiveness is kind of difficult at times because she is not yet sure what to do or how to act or how to deal with it all. And the Chiron adds a fear factor to it, because she is often resented by other girls, and even their mothers at times, and it can be overwhelming for her. The easiest thing for her is to lash out.


I have a 16 yr old girl who is very beautiful. And 4th and 5th grade were a difficult time for awhile because of the backlash from others because she had a successful acting and modeling career going on. You would thin k her friends would have been happy for her, but it was not always that way.

The main reason I tell you this is because it was very important for her to learn to work through this stuff with her friends. We did NOT take the easy way out and home school and have her devote her time to her acting/singing etc. She stayed in school, and still worked, but she had to LEARN to make and keep her friends by appropriate reactions to their B.S.

Your daughter having all of that Scorpio stuff [sun/chiron/venus] in the 12th
will be her 'guiding light' or her 'undoing' when puberty finally hits,and it is kind of up to you to help guide her through it all successfully. :60:

As a Scorpio, I can tell you that when a young Scorpionic girl enters puberty, there are all kinds of mixed messages she sends out and receives.
She is dying to try out her new magnetic energy, but also afraid and uncertain. She may find herself in unmanageable , sexually charged, situations and needs your guidance to help navigate through those dangerous waters.

These situations make the young girl feel guilty, even if she does nothing wrong. And there are probably others already trying to label her unfairly.

It may seem a little early for all of this kind of talk, but her chart indicates that her burgeoning sexual energy will be a BIG factor in her adolescence, and it will be worthwhile for the two of you to have a meeting of the minds.

the most important thing will be for you to totally accept her, and her questions, and not to be judgemental because she will easily slip into feeling unfairly treated by you unfortunately.

[Moderator edit - moved the short response above the long quote.]

Last edited by aquarius7000; 05-19-2009 at 05:41 AM.
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Unread 05-20-2009, 02:37 AM
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Re: Please Help me with my daughters chart

Quote:
Originally Posted by sara31tx
I am having alot of problems with my daughter..I stay stressed out all the time..My daughter has always been very stubborn, but since she is getting closer to starting puberty..it is getting worse..She does not listen to me at all..She does what she wants..She has become obsessed with celebrities to the point that it's all she talks about now..She told a girl on the bus today that was giving her a hard time that her and her momma can go to hell..lol..What is even more shocking is that my daughter tells me this stuff and does not care what my reaction will be..it scares me. If she is like this at 10 years old, I am afraid to see her behavior at 16..She does not like being told what to do at all..Can someone look at her chart and tell me what you see, I am going crazy over here..lol
Mama, I agree that you seem like a very caring mother. I took a quick look at the synastry with your daughter, and agree with much of what the others have said.

Scorpios can be very intense, and they are not at all shy about love-sex-death-rebirth topics unless they think this won't be acceptable to others, in which case they become secretive. Scorpios understand themselves by testing the limits of other people. Your daughter is getting to know herself by testing your and your husband's limits. An immature Scorpio actually needs someone to say, "Stop here. This is your limit." This is how they set their "me" and "not me" boundary. Scorpio is a fixed sign, traditionally ruled by Mars and to modern astrologers, by Pluto; both of which are aggressive planets.

With your daughter's Venus (femininity, female sexuality) in Scorpio conjunct her sun, she may well identify [sun] with her female nature [Venus] so anything you can do to make her aware of both the facts of human sexuality as well as the socio-economic consequences of unprotected sex should be advantageous.

So home-wise, hopefully you and your husband can discuss reasonable limits for her and then engage her in this discussion, as she may be more likely to own limits that she has helped establish.

With her 12th house emphasis, your daughter may not be aware of the effect she has on others, as 12th house planets tend to be a mystery to the native, even if they are obvious to observers.

As the parent, you do have to set some standards and stick to them, but realize that it will be her nature to test them. If you pour on your Pisces love and wisdom, however, you should be OK, as your and your daughter's suns (egos) are trined in two very "feeling" signs.

Her Saturn opposes your moon, suggesting that she may unwittingly give you feelings of inadequacy as a mom. Your Mars placements are squared, which suggests sparring with one another. But her moon trines your Venus, suggesting an underlying affection.

If you work through your synastry in this way, hopefully you will see the likely areas of tension as well as the likely areas of harmony; and seek to mitigate the former and to emphasize the latter.

As you already know, the best thing you can do for your child is to love her unconditionally.
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