Do I have to be alone? Venus conj. SN

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I don't think the wide/out of sign conjunction to the South Node is that important in terms of your Venus. I think the square to Uranus from there 4th has much more of an impact. Study that aspect as it has more significance on your love life, in my opinion. You may be too quick to cut ties or to reject someone suitable because of a fear of intimacy or commitment?

Also, your Mercury is unaspected. You have a chatty 1st house Mercury in Libra, which is relationship oriented. But there are no aspects to other planets. So maybe you do not place yourself in opportunities to make close connections to others?

I don't think you 'have' to be alone. I think you are choosing it for now. But Pluto has been squaring that Mercury so maybe it is opening you up?

I also wonder if the Venus square to Chiron at the end of Gemini in your 10th house may be an additional placement to consider in terms of what you choose to reveal to potential romantic partners. I think that Chiron must have a lot to do with your work with dying people, what if you brought that healing energy into other parts of your life. What is it about dying people that allows you to "be yourself in the world?"

thanks for sharing these questions.

You have a complex nodal axis situation in your natal chart.
A reversed nodal axis, sun and inner planets conjunct SN.

The message is quite clear. For many past lives you have been working on how to balance self and others.

In this life you are not meant to be alone, but to achieve your life mission via relationships with others.

You must not lose yourself however. There must be balance.

You will feel drawn back into old patterns of behavior in terms of relationships. And must work to make sure they are healthy and balanced.