Is this why people misunderstand me/find it hard to get to know me at all?

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
All my life I always wondered why the heck was I always misunderstood by some people-- even if the others actually got my intentions right. Or why even my CLOSEST friends can still sometimes get surprised by the little facts that they discover in me as time passes by. Heck, even I get confused by myself too. It's like I have sooo many different personalities throughout my entire life up to this point. But I'm aware of that since Neptune is in my 1st house.

But really. I had this little survey, asked a few people who i really trust and think that they can at least understand my personality by now-- and still, the results are surprising... and disappointing. Thanks to the Pluto transiting on my Ascendant for the past year, I finally got a clearer view of who I really am and what I really want. And so, you can imagine me raising my brows when I read and heard what they all thought of me personally. And found myself correcting them inside my head.

It's kinda sad, because I really thought I was an open book this whole time, heh. As a kid, I was expressive and engaging, then some people took my gullibleness as an advantage to hurt me, so since then I started closing up just a little bit, but still open enough to be friendly and vulnerable. And I was born with a Capricorn Ascendant. They're not the most emotional, at least upfront/publicly.

https://imgur.com/a/JSyFP

Do you think my 1st house planets play a part on this? Or my Scorpio placements, since they're also all about being secretive? What else do you think can contribute to this??
 
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mdinaz

Well-known member
I'd say it's the Neptune in the first house square the Sun, followed by Uranus closely square the Sun and Mercury conj Chiron. The first makes you indistinct and fuzzy, the second a bit erratic and unpredictable, and the third easily hurt and lash out. People walk on eggshells around you. The Pluto square Mars also lends an edge or irritation to your actions.
 

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
I'd say it's the Neptune in the first house square the Sun, followed by Uranus closely square the Sun and Mercury conj Chiron. The first makes you indistinct and fuzzy, the second a bit erratic and unpredictable, and the third easily hurt and lash out. People walk on eggshells around you. The Pluto square Mars also lends an edge or irritation to your actions.

Funny you mentioned my Pluto-mars aspect. It's a 6 degree orb though, I hope its wide enough for it to be less volatile? Someone also mentioned that its a rape aspect or an aspect usually found in victims of violence and exploitation. Haha, this worries me but eh.

Can you explain the "walk on eggshells around you" part? Does it mean they're on the edge when they're with me? Enough to be cautious??
 

mdinaz

Well-known member
The Pluto Mars is 6 degrees, a bit wide. People with it very close tend to be very bad tempered, controlling, and/or violent, depending on the signs involved.
When I say "walking on eggshells" that means they don't know how to deal with you as in they're afraid to either set you off or have you react in some unpredictable way that makes them more uncomfortable because they feel everything they say just makes things worse. This can be completely unconscious behavior on their part. It's not like they walk up to you and think "oh geez here's UraSatVen again". It could be a simple bad feeling they get based on them picking up on your mood or vibration empathically (if that's not a word, I just made it one). Your sun is opposite Saturn too so you may walk around like there's a dark cloud over you, and people may pick up on that.
Mars in 8th is sesquiquad both Saturn and Neptune. This is a spiritual aspect, and with all your Scorpio stuff, this a spiritual path for you to learn how to overcome these many negative aspects in your chart. In short you'll have to expend effort in ascending above the physical and relying on the the spiritual to find your path. Stop relying on other people's actions/reactions. Your Node is also in the 8th trine Saturn so you'll have the tools to accomplish this.
 

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
The Pluto Mars is 6 degrees, a bit wide. People with it very close tend to be very bad tempered, controlling, and/or violent, depending on the signs involved.
When I say "walking on eggshells" that means they don't know how to deal with you as in they're afraid to either set you off or have you react in some unpredictable way that makes them more uncomfortable because they feel everything they say just makes things worse. This can be completely unconscious behavior on their part. It's not like they walk up to you and think "oh geez here's UraSatVen again". It could be a simple bad feeling they get based on them picking up on your mood or vibration empathically (if that's not a word, I just made it one). Your sun is opposite Saturn too so you may walk around like there's a dark cloud over you, and people may pick up on that.
Mars in 8th is sesquiquad both Saturn and Neptune. This is a spiritual aspect, and with all your Scorpio stuff, this a spiritual path for you to learn how to overcome these many negative aspects in your chart. In short you'll have to expend effort in ascending above the physical and relying on the the spiritual to find your path. Stop relying on other people's actions/reactions. Your Node is also in the 8th trine Saturn so you'll have the tools to accomplish this.


Is that why they're usually intimidated? Dang it. I've had some of my friends told me that they were a little intimidated or 'hesitant' to actually talk to me at first because I looked really unapproachable. And this is why usually my closest friends are the extravert ones, the LOUD ones who were the one who initiated a conversation with me first.

Relying on the spiritual to find my path..? Could you give some examples so I could get a clearer idea from that one?
 

mdinaz

Well-known member
Do you want to hang out with timid, wimpy people anyway? At least this way the gutless get weeded out right away. Use it to your advantage.

If you haven't seen the Abraham-Hicks material on youtube, there's a billion videos there. Essentially, quit focusing on reality and focus on what you want and feeling good about it in the process.
 

ZoraEos

Well-known member
Wow, UraSatVen, we have a very similar chart - I am a Scorpio sun with a Capricorn ascendant too, and Neptune and Uranus in first house, and Merc conjunct Chiron, and Mars square Pluto (4th degree orb).

And honestly, I relate 100% with your post. I have trouble with misunderstandings so frequently and it's hard for people to get to know me. It makes me sad sometimes because it's hard to develop any close friendships. Like you said, even the friends I'm closest to can get surprised or not really know me well actually. *shrugs* Sometimes I wonder if there is anything concrete to get to know at all, because my personality feels pretty elusive to me sometimes, but maybe that's the Neptune coming through, like you say.
I also totally relate to the early gullibility and then closing up, that's what has happened to me basically too.

I've attached my chart for comparison. :)
 

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ZoraEos

Well-known member
I've also noticed that you have Venus opposition Saturn like me too, and that can definitely contribute to making social interactions hard or cold, as it can make it difficult to express affection and can cause restriction in social interactions.
 

Ellen Tran

Well-known member
You have a stellium of Neptune, Uranus and Moon in the first house. These 3 planets are all changeable by nature. Neptune creates a fog around you, hence why even you and your closest friends can't define your true personality. Neptune is also at 29'28, a critical degree so the energy will be magnified. Uranus can make you be perceived as quirky and erratic, and you can be quite unpredictable too. Moon in your first house makes you more open and vulnerable, but it is in Aquarius so there is still a hint of eccentricity and not complete openness.

Your Sun/Venus square your stellium in first house might add more confusion. Your ego (Sun) is in conflict with how you show yourself to the world. And since square is a very hard energy to work with, people might feel the tension you have within yourself. Sun/Venus in Scorpio can make you intense and secretive, but your Moon in Aquarius in the first house gives people an impression of detachment so that might be where you confuse people in terms of your personality.

You have an anoretic Saturn at 29'44 in 4th house, so your early environment might have some issues that affect the way you show yourself to others. Saturn is involved in the T-square with your Sun/Venus and stellium in the first house, making it more prominent and a plausible indicator of your source of conflict. Saturn at a critical degree emphasizes the problems even more and you are destined to master the energy of Saturn in order to resolve the contradictions within your personality.

Please tell me if my interpretations are correct or not as I'm still learning!
 
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UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
Wow, UraSatVen, we have a very similar chart - I am a Scorpio sun with a Capricorn ascendant too, and Neptune and Uranus in first house, and Merc conjunct Chiron, and Mars square Pluto (4th degree orb).

And honestly, I relate 100% with your post. I have trouble with misunderstandings so frequently and it's hard for people to get to know me. It makes me sad sometimes because it's hard to develop any close friendships. Like you said, even the friends I'm closest to can get surprised or not really know me well actually. *shrugs* Sometimes I wonder if there is anything concrete to get to know at all, because my personality feels pretty elusive to me sometimes, but maybe that's the Neptune coming through, like you say.
I also totally relate to the early gullibility and then closing up, that's what has happened to me basically too.

I've attached my chart for comparison. :)

Hi! Thank you so much for the reply! I know there's a lot of us Neptune 1st house people who feel this way, but for someone to also give some feedback and share their story with me actually touches me. All my life I've always wanted to connect to people who're like me and had more or less the same experiences as I did, because if I actually did (in real life) I would definitely treasure them :)

And hey, we both have 8th house NN too! I feel that its a complex nodal placement and definitely intense/scary, but powerful nonetheless.

Speaking of internal conflicts concerning our ego, identity, sensitivity issues and our relationships with different people, I never really understood why someone with a natal chart like mine has the BIGGEST urge to perform onstage and get recognition for creative talents. I mean, for my tropical chart, yeah, it's so weird but for my sidereal, I can understand it more. Your moon in Taurus and Mars in Leo is what I really want for myself so that it could help me better with performing! Haha, but oh well, I guess I was born with Moon Aquarius and Mars Virgo for a reason. :)

You ever get jealous-- even just a little bit-- on people who were able to maintain meaningful friendships? Bonds? I know I do.

Btw! How was your Transit Pluto conjunct Ascendant experience? We both have 20-21 degrees Capricorn ascendant, and Pluto started hitting it since last year. I hope Pluto empowered you? :)
 

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
You have a stellium of Neptune, Uranus and Moon in the first house. These 3 planets are all changeable by nature. Neptune creates a fog around you, hence why even you and your closest friends can't define your true personality. Neptune is also at 29'28, a critical degree so the energy will be magnified. Uranus can make you be perceived as quirky and erratic, and you can be quite unpredictable too. Moon in your first house makes you more open and vulnerable, but it is in Aquarius so there is still a hint of eccentricity and not complete openness.

Your Sun/Venus square your stellium in first house might add more confusion. Your ego (Sun) is in conflict with how you show yourself to the world. And since square is a very hard energy to work with, people might feel the tension you have within yourself. Sun/Venus in Scorpio can make you intense and secretive, but your Moon in Aquarius in the first house gives people an impression of detachment so that might be where you confuse people in terms of your personality.

You have an anoretic Saturn at 29'44 in 4th house, so your early environment might have some issues that affect the way you show yourself to others. Saturn is involved in the T-square with your Sun/Venus and stellium in the first house, making it more prominent and a plausible indicator of your source of conflict. Saturn at a critical degree emphasizes the problems even more and you are destined to master the energy of Saturn in order to resolve the contradictions within your personality.

Please tell me if my interpretations are correct or not as I'm still learning!

Hi!

This was all pretty spot on! I'm still learning too, so that's why I'm here posting some questions about myself and have more clarifications so that when i see other people's charts, it could at least aid me with knowledge that I could get.

I've always had a vague understanding of my planets in a critical degree, Neptune and Saturn. Since what you said about them are true, then they probably make these energies more emphasized right? Will I be able to master these energies in this lifetime?
 

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
Do you want to hang out with timid, wimpy people anyway? At least this way the gutless get weeded out right away. Use it to your advantage.

If you haven't seen the Abraham-Hicks material on youtube, there's a billion videos there. Essentially, quit focusing on reality and focus on what you want and feeling good about it in the process.

I used to hang out with timid people in the past. But recently, I realized how awkward I could be around them as well, so I've been getting people who are more talkative than I am since I am more keen on listening to them. In return, I give them company, support, and sometimes-- some thoughtful words and wisdom, as they said. But overall, I'm not opposed to hanging out with different types of people, I'm very flexible with that lol. Neptune in 1st house speaking.

Buuuut, I do get cautious with who is draining me. The negativity I can absorb just kills me sometimes. And as naive as I can seem to look like, I can totally smell bullcraap right away, so I detach or run away as fast as I can. But that also frustrates me because on the other hand, I also want to stay and be friends and be more understanding. But *sigh* I guess there's no use to clinging on to people like that especially if it ain't good for you :)

That sounds interesting actually, I'll look it up later!
 

mdinaz

Well-known member
Timid people can be the biggest energy drains because you have to constantly expend effort to pull them out and they do not reciprocate. Don't waste your time. You mention wanting to perform and that is your Moon/Uranus conjunction in the 1st in Aquarius. A constant urge for excitement, attention (the 1st house is where you are "on stage" for the world), and with Moon/Uranus, that would be insatiable. They are square the Sun, traditional ruler of Leo, the narcissist sign. Your ASC is ruled by Saturn which is trine the Node in Leo. Because the Sun and Moon have so many different difficult aspects, you'll have some trouble in this area. I've been in many rock and metal bands and when you put yourself out like that, you become a magnet for many kinds of people, nearly all of them energy drainers. Be aware. And with your Mars/Jupiter opp and Mars/Pluto square, you have to be very aware of the negative life style that can go with being a public figure and the deleterious effect it will have on you, especially if you like being in control of your situation and when you are a public figure, you usually are not.
 

Talaria

Active member
I also have Neptune in the 1st, and I have the same problem. I had a friend with different inner planets but still Neptune in the first, and same problem. I've got a large 1st house and transiting Pluto has been stomping through it since 2003/2004, and won't move on until 2022. (I don't even want to think about how that's going to affect my finances, ugh.) I have changed and grown a lot since Pluto hit my Ascendant, so that's good, and it's definitely better than the self-destructiveness I faced with transiting Pluto in the natal 12th. However, it seems to make it even harder for others to understand me and I'm constantly trying to rein in my urge to be manipulative, jealous, controlling or unnecessarily secretive.

Y'all covered a lot of the Neptune-in-the-1st thing, so I wanted to add some other things I've found that make it harder to be understood. First, your Sun sign doesn't match your Ascendant. So who you are (Sun) is not the same as how you express yourself (Ascendant); it's common, but still contradictory. Your Sun itself is a contradiction: It's in Scorpio, so it wants to be secretive and mysterious, but it's conjunct flirty, outgoing Venus in the 10th House of ambition and public life. Your 1st House has a similar contradiction: Capricorn is ambitious, but Neptune and the Moon are all about secrets and mysteries, and Uranus is the planet of shock value. Another contradiction: Your Sun (who you are) is conjunct pleasant, charming Venus, your Moon (how you feel) is conjunct rebellious, erratic Uranus, and the two conjunctions are square. Finally, your Mercury (how you think and communicate) is in Scorpio like your Sun (who you are), but in a different House. So you think 11th House but are 10th.

Now let's get into your Mars in the 8th. Yes, Mars is accidentally dignified in the 8th, as the traditional ruler of Scorpio. Still, this is Mars in its secretive, subtle aspect, sneaking up on your enemies, who are shocked to realize they've offended you. Your Mars is a ninja. Mars is also weakly aspected, having only wide orbs on its square to Pluto and its opposition to Jupiter, so it can be compartmentalized and less integrated into different areas of your life. Thus your passions and your anger can be hard for other people to read.

One last issue, your house rulers. Your 11th House cusp is Scorpio, so friends, groups and organizations may revolve around secrets and mysteries. You also have secretive, mysterious Pluto in the 11th. That means your 11th House ruler is posited in your 11th House (while Scorpio's traditional ruler, Mars, is in the secretive, mysterious 8th House). So sometimes friends, groups and organizations become compartmentalized. They aren't necessarily connecting to you outside of that one section of your life. With Mercury there, your neighbors and siblings can become friends, but those are also public things, as are the matters ruled by Mercury in your chart: the 9th House of philosophy and the 6th House of work. You're connecting with friends on a level that isn't very personal. Meanwhile, because your 1st House ruler is posited in the 4th, your family and domestic partners are more likely to view you through the 1st House (how you express yourself) instead of through your Sun (who you are).

Again, I have Neptune in the 1st and think your frustrations about being misunderstood are totally legitimate. However, I feel I should also point out that you have a strong urge to be seen. I think that can make you feel like you're way more misunderstood than you are. Your emotions (Moon), your rebelliousness (Uranus) and your spirituality (Neptune) are all focused on self-expression (1st House), and your Ascendant is ambitious and seeks status (Capricorn). Your Sun is in the 10th, your Venus is in the 10th, and your 10th House ruler (Venus) is in the 10th conjunct your Sun by a very small orb, so ambition and public life are crucial. Plus you have lots of charisma and creative/artistic talent (Sun/Venus in 10th) and are capable of putting yourself out there and being well-received (many indicators of that). So try not to let that desire to be noticed make you feel even more unnoticed.
 

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
Timid people can be the biggest energy drains because you have to constantly expend effort to pull them out and they do not reciprocate. Don't waste your time. You mention wanting to perform and that is your Moon/Uranus conjunction in the 1st in Aquarius. A constant urge for excitement, attention (the 1st house is where you are "on stage" for the world), and with Moon/Uranus, that would be insatiable. They are square the Sun, traditional ruler of Leo, the narcissist sign. Your ASC is ruled by Saturn which is trine the Node in Leo. Because the Sun and Moon have so many different difficult aspects, you'll have some trouble in this area. I've been in many rock and metal bands and when you put yourself out like that, you become a magnet for many kinds of people, nearly all of them energy drainers. Be aware. And with your Mars/Jupiter opp and Mars/Pluto square, you have to be very aware of the negative life style that can go with being a public figure and the deleterious effect it will have on you, especially if you like being in control of your situation and when you are a public figure, you usually are not.

Oh! I never knew Moon-Uranus could a play factor as well, but it does make sense since they're both on my 1st house and they conjunct eachother. Thank goodness you mentioned my Saturn trine North Node Leo. I was trying to see how it would connect to me, turns out the only missing link I glossed over is that it's my chart ruler! Now I see why I'm also willing to achieve my NN despite the Uranian influence all over my chart.

Funny that you mentioned Rock bands, because I'm actually a vocalist of a rock band. Our band plays a lot of genres other than rock, but when it comes to band competitions and usual gigs, we mostly have rock songs. But I don't think I'll last long as their vocalist, even though I've served and brought them some awards and recognition for awhile... It's not exactly what I want to do. Its gonna be hard tho, since their main issue is to find a proper vocalist...

I get the "being a magnet for different types of ppl" part, and so far not all of them have been that draining. But, I develop a detached type of connection too though, I pick a few that I can be personal with. I do attract a lot of admiration and these people soon become my "friends " or acquaintances, but that's where it ends. I think that also drains me too since I crave a lot of connection and menaingful friendships too but yeah...
 

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
I also have Neptune in the 1st, and I have the same problem. I had a friend with different inner planets but still Neptune in the first, and same problem. I've got a large 1st house and transiting Pluto has been stomping through it since 2003/2004, and won't move on until 2022. (I don't even want to think about how that's going to affect my finances, ugh.) I have changed and grown a lot since Pluto hit my Ascendant, so that's good, and it's definitely better than the self-destructiveness I faced with transiting Pluto in the natal 12th. However, it seems to make it even harder for others to understand me and I'm constantly trying to rein in my urge to be manipulative, jealous, controlling or unnecessarily secretive.

Y'all covered a lot of the Neptune-in-the-1st thing, so I wanted to add some other things I've found that make it harder to be understood. First, your Sun sign doesn't match your Ascendant. So who you are (Sun) is not the same as how you express yourself (Ascendant); it's common, but still contradictory. Your Sun itself is a contradiction: It's in Scorpio, so it wants to be secretive and mysterious, but it's conjunct flirty, outgoing Venus in the 10th House of ambition and public life. Your 1st House has a similar contradiction: Capricorn is ambitious, but Neptune and the Moon are all about secrets and mysteries, and Uranus is the planet of shock value. Another contradiction: Your Sun (who you are) is conjunct pleasant, charming Venus, your Moon (how you feel) is conjunct rebellious, erratic Uranus, and the two conjunctions are square. Finally, your Mercury (how you think and communicate) is in Scorpio like your Sun (who you are), but in a different House. So you think 11th House but are 10th.

Now let's get into your Mars in the 8th. Yes, Mars is accidentally dignified in the 8th, as the traditional ruler of Scorpio. Still, this is Mars in its secretive, subtle aspect, sneaking up on your enemies, who are shocked to realize they've offended you. Your Mars is a ninja. Mars is also weakly aspected, having only wide orbs on its square to Pluto and its opposition to Jupiter, so it can be compartmentalized and less integrated into different areas of your life. Thus your passions and your anger can be hard for other people to read.

One last issue, your house rulers. Your 11th House cusp is Scorpio, so friends, groups and organizations may revolve around secrets and mysteries. You also have secretive, mysterious Pluto in the 11th. That means your 11th House ruler is posited in your 11th House (while Scorpio's traditional ruler, Mars, is in the secretive, mysterious 8th House). So sometimes friends, groups and organizations become compartmentalized. They aren't necessarily connecting to you outside of that one section of your life. With Mercury there, your neighbors and siblings can become friends, but those are also public things, as are the matters ruled by Mercury in your chart: the 9th House of philosophy and the 6th House of work. You're connecting with friends on a level that isn't very personal. Meanwhile, because your 1st House ruler is posited in the 4th, your family and domestic partners are more likely to view you through the 1st House (how you express yourself) instead of through your Sun (who you are).

Again, I have Neptune in the 1st and think your frustrations about being misunderstood are totally legitimate. However, I feel I should also point out that you have a strong urge to be seen. I think that can make you feel like you're way more misunderstood than you are. Your emotions (Moon), your rebelliousness (Uranus) and your spirituality (Neptune) are all focused on self-expression (1st House), and your Ascendant is ambitious and seeks status (Capricorn). Your Sun is in the 10th, your Venus is in the 10th, and your 10th House ruler (Venus) is in the 10th conjunct your Sun by a very small orb, so ambition and public life are crucial. Plus you have lots of charisma and creative/artistic talent (Sun/Venus in 10th) and are capable of putting yourself out there and being well-received (many indicators of that). So try not to let that desire to be noticed make you feel even more unnoticed.

First of all, you have Cap ascendant then right? Good to hear that Pluto helped you a lot! I don't think I'm entirely done with mine yet, and I feel like it's still going to be a few more months since I still have stuff within myself I have to develop and transform for the better. But yeah, Pluto helped me so much in terms of personal growth. It's also true what they said about this transit, you almost cannot believe the changes that took place within your self-identity. I feel like such a different person from before.

I also find that my Neptune in 1st house helps me with channeling spirituality. Also helps me with the way I channel my artistic creativity along with Uranus-- finding my original twist to it. Those are the things I keep in mind so that I can accept those planets in my first house. I used to look at them in a hateful way, constantly depressed about the negative energies. Now though, I just recently realized that people have a hard time really seeing me as I am now that I have a clearer sense of who I am and what I want. Sometimes this creates conflict with others...

The part about the contradictions? Omg, I was so shocked finally traced the contradictions in my chart. I never located them myself with much clarity and others thought I wasn't too hard to figure out (even when they're always assuming the wrong stuff about me). Thank YOU for that. As to how I will balance these out... I don't know but I still have faith I can work them out.

The part about the Mars? That's actually the most frustrating thing I've been feeling all throughout my life. Most people have never seen me really burst out in anger, and only like thrice or four times with my family members. It's hard to express my anger. I feel it inside than i think about it and even before I could verbalize or put them into actions, I end up crying. My parents have always doubted if I was really passionate about performing and artistic endeavors, and I get mad sometimes because they don't even know what I feel and what I think, and I try to verbalize that but then I'm always left speechless or constricted for some reason. So frustrating.

Took me a long time, but I finally accepted the fact that I played a part in not being able to connect to friends (11th house). I also read somewhere that having Mercury here means people come and go often, and it's true in my case. I can also see the Pluto themes that have played out in my social life actually, but again, I just had so much denial and ignorance about back then that I let it control me and my worth. Hopefully after my complete trnasformation, I can turn this around for the better.

Again, thank you for pointing out those aspects that describe my urge to be noticed or recognized. Other people have pointed out my Sun-Venus conjunction makes me charismatic but I still have to find out how this charisma plays out. Perhaps when I perform then? Idk, sometimes, people get bored when I perform... But I get what you meant here about my issue. Right now, I'm doing my best to channel all this tension to being a better person and be a more optimistic thinker since all my life I've been extremely pessimistic. I'll be spending a lot of time developing these talents all the more so that i can be worthy of the recognition I've been craving for and most of all... come out as a happier person that learned her lessons in life.

These replies are extremely helpful to me, I don't what I would be thinking right now if I didn't summon up the courage to dig deep and ask questions about myself. :)
 

mdinaz

Well-known member
I get the "being a magnet for different types of ppl" part, and so far not all of them have been that draining. But, I develop a detached type of connection too though, I pick a few that I can be personal with. I do attract a lot of admiration and these people soon become my "friends " or acquaintances, but that's where it ends. I think that also drains me too since I crave a lot of connection and menaingful friendships too but yeah...

They are a drain because these people normally wouldn't give you the time of day were it not for your public persona. I've been a public figure in other venues also as well as a partner and other friends who have one even more visible than mine - and these energy drains are legion. It's amazing how many people suddenly want to be your friend ...
 

UraSatVen1029

Well-known member
They are a drain because these people normally wouldn't give you the time of day were it not for your public persona. I've been a public figure in other venues also as well as a partner and other friends who have one even more visible than mine - and these energy drains are legion. It's amazing how many people suddenly want to be your friend ...

Oh. Actually you have a good point.

I almost forgot that also applies to my social life as well. It's only when I show my talents and stuff do I gain "friends" perhaps. Some though, have become my bestfriends because we have same interests, which is music. But majority of these people really just acknowledged me because I sing a lot.

At one point I got depressed about this, because it seemed like they see me as nothing else but. But eh, I learned overtime to care less about it and focused on fulfillment that performing gives me. Then again you are right, I still have to be aware.
 

mdinaz

Well-known member
If you share interests and you become friends and they don't know about your public life, that's one thing. But people who glom onto you because of the public persona are not "friends". They are energy leeches. But that's my opinion. But I've seen a lot of it first hand. Once you are no longer associated with the public persona, they drop you just as quickly or quickly lose interest. I know some people who love that sort of attention and don't care these people are users - but they are also the kind of people who are always "on" - the performance never stops. I value my privacy and quiet. You'll have to decide that yourself.
 

Talaria

Active member
First of all, you have Cap ascendant then right? Good to hear that Pluto helped you a lot! I don't think I'm entirely done with mine yet, and I feel like it's still going to be a few more months since I still have stuff within myself I have to develop and transform for the better. But yeah, Pluto helped me so much in terms of personal growth. It's also true what they said about this transit, you almost cannot believe the changes that took place within your self-identity. I feel like such a different person from before.

I also find that my Neptune in 1st house helps me with channeling spirituality. Also helps me with the way I channel my artistic creativity along with Uranus-- finding my original twist to it. Those are the things I keep in mind so that I can accept those planets in my first house. I used to look at them in a hateful way, constantly depressed about the negative energies. Now though, I just recently realized that people have a hard time really seeing me as I am now that I have a clearer sense of who I am and what I want. Sometimes this creates conflict with others...

My Ascendant is 22 Sagittarius, so I had transiting Pluto conjunct my Ascendant about 15 years ago. My 2nd House cusp is 29 Capricorn, so Pluto's still got another 5 years or so of transiting my 1st House. The growth has been amazing this entire time, and I have a much better understanding of myself. It can help you with spirituality and creativity too, because you get really interested in mysteries, secrets and introspective things. It also brings out your dark, catty side. ;-D With your strong Scorpio influence, I imagine transiting Pluto in the 1st will feel very comfortable for you, once you get used to it.

The part about the contradictions? Omg, I was so shocked finally traced the contradictions in my chart. I never located them myself with much clarity and others thought I wasn't too hard to figure out (even when they're always assuming the wrong stuff about me). Thank YOU for that. As to how I will balance these out... I don't know but I still have faith I can work them out.

You're lucky that you have strong 10th and 1st Houses to balance those contradictions out. My Ascendant ruler is in the 12th, Pluto and Saturn are conjunct in my 10th, and my Sun/Mercury conjunction is in Pisces, so I have more "hide" than "show." I haven't found a truly effective way to express what I want to express.

One other thing I want to mention: watch out for medical malpractice! You have a wide orb on your Sun/Mercury-square-Neptune (mine was only 7') but it can still cause serious issues with fraud and deception (Neptune) afflicting your vitality (Sun) especially if it involves the mind or communication errors (Mercury). That aspect has manifested for me in a variety of ways but the health problems and resulting malpractice were the worst. So requests paper copies of any serious medical records, do your own research, get second opinions and just generally be careful.

The part about the Mars? That's actually the most frustrating thing I've been feeling all throughout my life. Most people have never seen me really burst out in anger, and only like thrice or four times with my family members. It's hard to express my anger. I feel it inside than i think about it and even before I could verbalize or put them into actions, I end up crying. My parents have always doubted if I was really passionate about performing and artistic endeavors, and I get mad sometimes because they don't even know what I feel and what I think, and I try to verbalize that but then I'm always left speechless or constricted for some reason. So frustrating.

I've had a similar problem with Mars. My Mars is almost 7 degrees from a Jupiter trine and otherwise sitting by itself in Aries in my 4th, and it's my 4th House ruler. So I have a really hard time connecting Mars to any other area of my life. It's like my Mars is absent sometimes. I have a hard time sustaining interest in my passions and when I get angry I usually rage alone.

Like you said, it's important to try and find positive outlets for any energy in a chart, especially darker energies like Pluto, Mars and Saturn. But I think the biggest problem with being misunderstood is that you can't control other people. They see what they see, not what you show them. So you can be an open book all you want and they'll still misinterpret what they read, if they bother to read you at all. What helps me handle that is reminding myself that no one is obligated to read me, but the people who do are capable of a profound connection. The handful of people who can figure me out have formed bonds with me that are insanely beautiful and deep in a way that defies description.
 
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