My emotional life is a mess. And i think my chart shows it, can anybody fill me in?

Hello guys, nice community i've just found!

My sun sign is in sagittarius, pisces rising, and moon conjunct pluto in scorpio. What do i do with all these impulsive emotions? I find they conflict with my will, and even with what i often consider the "best course of action". To counteract this i find myself avoiding any kind of emotional exchange between people, just to avoid the possibility of bad emotions. And really- Something that most people would shove off like flies takes me into the dump for days.

Here's my chart:


I'm already past the stage of feeling i am completely crazy and bipolar, and now i'm starting to believe there's some sort of purpose behind these configurations. But i'm not an astrologer and although i've read a lot of astrological literature i can't really make out a meaning. I'm also trying different ideas that i've found through occultism and the practice of meditation, like grounding myself in order to act as a container for my emotions and not just burst out randomly.

Thanks for taking the time to read <3

Have you got a correct birth time? A very few people actually were born at 12:00 pm, but if this is simply a default time, see if you can locate your actual birth time. I will read the chart with the moon in Scorpio, but there is a slight chance it could actually be in Sagittarius. Regardless, your rising sign and house cusps are meaningless if you were not born at noon, as these depend on an accurate birth time.

Your chart shows a moon and Pluto conjunction, opposite Mars retrograde.

The moon: your emotions, feelings. (I. e., the non-rational part of our personality.)

Pluto: named for the Roman god of the underworld, this planet can deal with inter-personal power struggles, obsessions, and phobias. Or it can be your ticket to self-transformation, when what was metaphorically underground comes to light.

Your moon and Pluto are in the sign of Scorpio, which is known for being pretty intense.

Mars: your innate assertiveness and aggression. (Mars rules soldiers and atheletes!) When Mars is retrograde (I. e., when it appears to move backwards in the sky) your basic aggression is turned inward. Mars retrograde people can therefore be very hard on themselves. If you have a rough day, you tend to blame yourself for it, rather than shrugging it off or thinking it was caused by someone or something else.

You also have 5 planets in the sign of Capricorn, and sometimes this sign gets a little morose. However, your sun in Sagittarius trines the good luck planet of Jupiter, so your essential identity is basically optimistic.

So it's not surprising that you wonder if you're bi-polar. (Incidentally, have you had this checked out by a doctor? I'm not qualified to suggest that you are or are not, but I can see how your horoscope would pull you in three major different directions: pessimistic, optimistic, and just generally emotionally intense.)

I believe in "choice centered astrology," which means that your chart will express itself in your life in ways that are consistent with your planetary placements, but that each planetary position has several valid potential expressions.

So, for example, Mars rules athletes, and you have a pretty intense emotional nature. Even if you don't think of yourself as much of an athlete now, some kind of high-impact sport should allow you to blow off emotional steam, without getting fussed about life. If you live in a place where you can go hiking, Capricorn is the sign of the mountain goat, who nimbly climbs to the top of the peak. You might enjoy this type of activity.

Your horoscope suggests someone who can work very hard, and may even feel driven to do so. So hopefully you've got a few important challenges in your life, that you can alternate with happy activities to feed your Sagittarian sun. Sagittarius is a fire sign, and it benefits from being out-of-doors in the sun.

Of course, meditation is a great idea, as well.

Thank you waybread, pretty useful insights there.

Regarding my birth time, it may be off by 15 minutes or so, but my parents insist that i was born at noon. I've read much information about being a pisces rising, and i'm quite convinced at this point, after much thought. It's sometimes very hard to make the jump from "pisces" to "sagittarius".

You mentioned the drive for intense sports and hiking, and honestly i can recall my nature feeling a lot more "gathered" in those moments. Nowadays i usually go hiking, but i never connected the mountain hiking goat with my drive to go out doors. I should definitely do this more often, considering how much Capricorn there is in me.

When it comes to work, yeah i feel very very driven. The problem shows up when it comes to actually focusing without getting bored.

You mentioned mars retrograde turns that energy inward, is it the same case with my retrograde jupiter?

The outer planets Pluto, Neptune, and Uranus are retrograde a lot of the time. With Jupiter retrograde, it tends to make a person less spontaneous and relaxed. It's not that Jupiter retrograde have no sense of humour, they do; but they are apt to approach life very seriously.

As far as your work goes, do you think it's your profession generally, or is it your particular employer or specific job description?

When it comes to work there are two factors that turn me off: What i call the Karma (after everything is done, how is this contributing positively in the world?) and how "meaningful" the job is. It needs significance.

Looked up mars retrograde and found this:

Work in its more conventional, mundane sense can be very painful for these people. Work best when it has some sort of “cause” associated with it. Less competitive than usual Mars energy— often in competition with themselves. Mars retrograde women are often attracted to men who are dependent, irresponsible, handicapped in some way, or social misfits.

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So if this is accurate, i probably should align myself with a cause.

I can initially put up with any conditions, adapt to the schedule, the boss, or the job description pretty quickly. But after the initial learning phase is over, i become restless and depressed. It is no longer OK if the Boss is nuts, or if my hours suck, etc. A few days later i've already quit.

Biggest issue is severly afflicted moon in your chart. Moon in scorpio is uncomfortable and can lead to meloncholy unless supported. Conjunct pluto means that uncomfortable intensity is increased furthermore it is afflicted by a weak mars and jupiter leading to weak will and not following through with things and being wishy washy and in terms of jupiter may lead to bouts of over exuberance and then a let down.

You should support the moon by doing remedies such as on monday at the planetary hour of the moon eat white, basmati rice. Say specific moon mantras. Buy white flowers and give to your mother on monday or grandmother or any mother figure that you have a close relationship with. Wear a moon stone that was left under a full moon all with keeping in mind you are increasing the good qualities of the moon or mind in your life.

If you do not want to delve into esoteric things then meditation is obviously good. Also in your chart it indicates a male energy, perhaps your father will either help you or if you emulate him in your life it will ground you and help you.

I also want to add, do not be afraid to take medication either. In my darkest of times, I took antidepressants and they helped me immensely. I have been off them for years now though.

retinoid said:

Biggest issue is severly afflicted moon in your chart. Moon in scorpio is uncomfortable and can lead to meloncholy unless supported. Conjunct pluto means that uncomfortable intensity is increased furthermore it is afflicted by a weak mars and jupiter leading to weak will and not following through with things and being wishy washy and in terms of jupiter may lead to bouts of over exuberance and then a let down.

You should support the moon by doing remedies such as on monday at the planetary hour of the moon eat white, basmati rice. Say specific moon mantras. Buy white flowers and give to your mother on monday or grandmother or any mother figure that you have a close relationship with. Wear a moon stone that was left under a full moon all with keeping in mind you are increasing the good qualities of the moon or mind in your life.

If you do not want to delve into esoteric things then meditation is obviously good. Also in your chart it indicates a male energy, perhaps your father will either help you or if you emulate him in your life it will ground you and help you.

I also want to add, do not be afraid to take medication either. In my darkest of times, I took antidepressants and they helped me immensely. I have been off them for years now though.

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Thank you retinoid. You've just described my pattern very clearly.

I've already made the jump into the esoteric, and it has helped me tremendously... If i can find a way to integrate it into my life. Its just that the list of things to discern is almost infinite! And figuring out the good from the trash is very time consuming. But i'm following my intuition, and as of right now been focusing on astrology as you can see.

Could you give me a link, or mention a book where i can find more info about supporting my moon?

Regarding my father, i agree that in the short spans of time i've been living with him i've definitely felt more grounded, if i can keep up with the ever increasing pressure and tension. If it has to do with father figures, then that's also good, i've learned a lot from generous encounters with old men =].

Waybread is soo right about the ' choice centered astrology' thing !!!