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  #1  
Unread 01-20-2021, 07:52 PM
VenusInFurs VenusInFurs is offline
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Synastry - Strong push/pull dynamic over 15 years

I am looking for some insight into my synastry with a man I’ve known for fifteen years (since I was 20). Unfortunately, I don’t have his birth time so the ASC/MC and house placements aren’t correct for him.

I’ve always felt a strong connection and familiarity with this man - I'm not surprised to see the SN/NN aspects. I adore him; he is incredibly gorgeous to me, smart and lots of wonderful things but he’s also insecure, hard to reach and struggles with emotional intimacy. We think he might have high functioning autism which would account for a lot of our differences in communication styles. He acts passive aggressively and projects onto me occasionally - which I can see through (his fear of closeness, he feels I’ve rejected him - he can recount every time I’ve rejected him in detail although I can’t remember many of these events!). He was quite unkind to me when hungover a few weeks ago - is this the Mars square Moon at play? Also, his Mars square my Mars / Pluto in scorpio.

Early last year he got in contact with me when his relationship ended (he does this every time without fail) and I just wasn’t interested as I anticipate this push/pull dynamic and it gets tiring going through the same pattern and just creates sad feelings. In April 2020 I had a dream that his mental health was at crisis point to the extent of reaching out to him (and later unsending my message as I feared sounding strange). It turned out that my dream was right. Over the Summer I had two dreams that I was searching for his house. When I found him I told him that I loved him and he said he felt the same. Then he reached out again in November and it just picked up again.

What usually happens between us is he will perceive a rejection from me, he’ll say something mean and we cease talking then he usually ends up in a relationship. During this time he rarely contacts me but keeps tabs on me on social network sites. I’m 35 now and I’ve told him I can’t keep doing this. I’ve told him clearly that I like him and I’m willing to work at something with him but he’s so ignorant and avoidant of my attempts to clearly discuss things.

Is this seen in the synastry?

Is this worth trying for? Is the synastry at all significant? I see a lot of NN/SN connections.

I look at all the moon connections and think 'wow'.. we do have good sexual chemistry, a strong mental connection and I really do adore him... but it feels so one sided, as I'm the adult whereas he is quite immature and ungrounded in ways!

Thank you in advance for any input

I'm person one with sun in Capricorn, he is sun in Sagittarius.
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  #2  
Unread 01-22-2021, 01:20 AM
thelivingsky thelivingsky is offline
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Re: Synastry - Strong push/pull dynamic over 15 years

You can have wonderful synastry and a good composite chart with someone who is really awful, emotionally immature or worse. I always recommend that students of astrology to pick some really evil human being (like Charles Manson or Adolph Hitler) and do many relationship charts with that person and yourself, your friends and family. You'll get some good ones but you wouldn't wish that person on any one?


Your description of how him and he handled the times you declined entering a relationship with him tells you all you need to know. You don't need astrology for this.


And yes, you might have a big stellium in your composite chart or planets on each other's Nodes or other astrological dynamics that make for the type of interaction you have experienced. If you can post the charts that would be helpful, I just can't see the chart from these tables.
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  #3  
Unread 01-29-2021, 08:21 PM
VenusInFurs VenusInFurs is offline
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Re: Synastry - Strong push/pull dynamic over 15 years

Apologies for the delay in my reply

Thank you and yes, a good point made about the possibilities of good synastry with inhumane people. Likewise, I've had very limited synastry with people that I've positively connected with.

I have attached the chart - his birth time is unknown so please disregard the houses and ASC. He is red and I am blue.
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  #4  
Unread 01-30-2021, 03:19 PM
thelivingsky thelivingsky is offline
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Re: Synastry - Strong push/pull dynamic over 15 years

Quote:
Originally Posted by VenusInFurs View Post
Apologies for the delay in my reply

Thank you and yes, a good point made about the possibilities of good synastry with inhumane people. Likewise, I've had very limited synastry with people that I've positively connected with.

I have attached the chart - his birth time is unknown so please disregard the houses and ASC. He is red and I am blue.

There are strong contacts with the luminaries in this chart - sextiles and trines. Those are always strong indicators of attraction or ease.

But one person's Moon is in the others H12 -usually not good at all.

Also the trine between the Mars/Pluto conjunction to the other's Moon is an aspect that makes for obsessive, strong desire.
then you both have planets on each others' Nodes, usually and indicator of a "soul union" or past life connection.
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  #5  
Unread 01-30-2021, 03:39 PM
sentR89day sentR89day is offline
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Re: Synastry - Strong push/pull dynamic over 15 years

It sounds like a karmic relationship, to me. I've been in those types of relationships before. Boy, are they intense!

And the whole push-pull dynamic is very normal in a karmic relationship.
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  #6  
Unread 02-02-2021, 10:45 PM
VenusInFurs VenusInFurs is offline
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Re: Synastry - Strong push/pull dynamic over 15 years

Thank you both for your input.

As I don't know his birth time I'm not certain of his planets / house placements but he does fit having a 12th house pisces moon.

Interestingly, I think my Mars conjunct Pluto shows by my ability to understand him very deeply - over the years I have very intense dreams about his emotional states that have turned out to be accurate. I wouldn't say that I obsessively desire him. We're not in contact at the moment and I'm not that bothered; I know I won't hear from him for a while again, if not years.

He is VERY passive aggressive towards me and cannot communicate directly and openly. I'm not very experienced with Mars in Aquarius and I wonder whether his mars squaring my moon and also his mars squaring my mars conjunct Pluto may be contributing to this push/pull dynamic - or my inability to tolerate his controlling behaviour.

Funnily enough, the thing with this guy isn't that intense in comparison with other energy I've experienced but it is still exhausting as he doesn't seem to ever change!
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  #7  
Unread 02-03-2021, 12:33 AM
sentR89day sentR89day is offline
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Re: Synastry - Strong push/pull dynamic over 15 years

Quote:
Originally Posted by VenusInFurs View Post
Thank you both for your input.

As I don't know his birth time I'm not certain of his planets / house placements but he does fit having a 12th house pisces moon.

Interestingly, I think my Mars conjunct Pluto shows by my ability to understand him very deeply - over the years I have very intense dreams about his emotional states that have turned out to be accurate. I wouldn't say that I obsessively desire him. We're not in contact at the moment and I'm not that bothered; I know I won't hear from him for a while again, if not years.

He is VERY passive aggressive towards me and cannot communicate directly and openly. I'm not very experienced with Mars in Aquarius and I wonder whether his mars squaring my moon and also his mars squaring my mars conjunct Pluto may be contributing to this push/pull dynamic - or my inability to tolerate his controlling behaviour.

Funnily enough, the thing with this guy isn't that intense in comparison with other energy I've experienced but it is still exhausting as he doesn't seem to ever change!
With those two main Mars contact, there's a flavor of physical attraction! Good luck!
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