which house represents divorce or separation of the quesited?

Thanks to your good words, some relationships are kind of chains we forge onto ourselves, I do not know if he will leave his wife but I am leaving him.

Congratulations Cathy, on ending your relationship! Now you can start a new life on your own terms. Life is too short and you have to make the most of it. Now try and make that happen. Don't feel sorry for yourself, be proud of yourself for at last making the right decision and moving on - at last you are free!
Let his wife have him - he is no good anyhow. You don't want an abusive man do you? There are plenty of good men out there, and you can find one when the time is right.
I would suggest not to enter any relationship just yet. Be on your own, surround yourself with good friends, go out and have fun. Enjoy your freedom. Do something just for yourself and discover who Cathy is! If you like dancing, enroll in an evening dance course or do anything else that you always wanted and never got to do it. Now you can do it, now that you are not wasting time on this idiot.

Emotions you can't control, and for 5 years you had a veil over your eyes, but now its lifted! I understand your sense of failure, but no, don't feel that way - everything teaches you something. Yes, 5 years was a long time to wait for someone, but this was a lesson you had to learn the hard way. From now on you'll make better choices and decisions, choices that are good for you. Don't waste your time anymore on losers.

Anyway, please do take care of you emotional well being and celebrate your new life and try to truly enjoy it!


/R

Dear Cathy and dear Rafaella, wish you the best for Hollidays and the end is never a end, it is a NEW START - you are right. Liked your post very much and very happy to see positive thinkers united on this site. How beautifull...
Very happy to be a member of this site.
Natasha

This is really getting wierd. I have ended this relationship after a huge fight, he left my place in anger and frustration saying its me who lacks patience.

I just looked at the chart and realised may be I was assigning wrong houses and planets. I think it should be looked at like this:
H7 - belongs to him - Jup significator plus Ur co sig
H11 - belong to me (5H from him, affair partner) - Moon my significator (11H ruler) in my own house
H1 - belongs to wife - Merc significator plus Sat represents co sig
H10 belongs to divorce / seperation - Venus ruler

H7 has Ur Opp Sat in H1 - he intends to leave her
Moon is in H11 Opp Venus in H5 - I am opposing their seperation for our relationship sake
Saturn applying trine to Jup - she loves him (I must admit, he spoiled it all for all three of us, not letting me have my life nor letting her have her share of love)

Am I extrapolating too much here? This is more for a case study not as personal involvement. I wanted to see if I am really getting hang of horary charts yet or not.

- Cathy

Hi Cathy, well, you can always try to find another way around it like looking also at the 5th house of him. Most of the time the answer turns out to be the same anyways. But traditionally, you must take the 7th house for him, the 1st house always for you (who askes the question) and the Moon as well. The cheated wife is usually Saturn, so there you were very right with your suggestion, as she is a Capricorn as well. Otherwise you can take Venus for her or also the Moon as it is the 7th from the 7th and that would be the Ascendant sign again, which is you. So you keep the Asc. sign and she gets the Moon. But Saturn is better for her.

I am glad to hear you ended this relationship. A man who hits you is the pitts and this should be a sure sign NOT to get involved any longer. Make a new life for yourself and find a man who will ONLY love you, not using you as his bit on the side.

Cheers, Starlink

You are right.

I am frustrated why he is not letting me go. After all that happened, he had the gall to come back and say I can't let you go. Keeps popping into my life. Getting irritated.

Dear Cathywh, we analised the chart, in one way or another, what I want to tell you as a reply since you were so kind to give us a feedback, is that now YOU SEE what you have earned - something more valuable than his presence - you`ve earned HIS RESPECT - and yours too.
Put another horary for a future flirt or love or a nice trip or whatever (this is Sagittarius speaking - take some ``superficial`` point of view - sometimes it helps believe me), be proud of yourself.
Sending you Sagittariously optimistic positive regards
Natasa

Men who are abusive have, in short, control issues. They call it the 'cycle of abuse'. It starts with possessiveness and reducing a the others group, then verbal abuse...sometimes very insidious..a little insult here a little insult there usually sprinkled with some lovey dovey but it slowly e-r-o-d-e-s the confidence of the other person. The first hit is always followed by 'i will never do it again' and insinuations that some how it was the others fault..if he or she had done something different it would not have had violence as a result....all in an effort unconsciously to control you. IT will just continue, get worse, get better, get worse until you are emotionally beaten down. GET OUT NOW! Don't look back. I suspect his wife has been beaten down and whomever he involves himself with will suffer the same until he gets really good help. And you....you need to build your self-esteem as abuse tends to get below our first layer of skin and we may attract another abuser.

natasa812 said:

Dear Cathywh, we analised the chart, in one way or another, what I want to tell you as a reply since you were so kind to give us a feedback, is that now YOU SEE what you have earned - something more valuable than his presence - you`ve earned HIS RESPECT - and yours too.
Put another horary for a future flirt or love or a nice trip or whatever (this is Sagittarius speaking - take some ``superficial`` point of view - sometimes it helps believe me), be proud of yourself.
Sending you Sagittariously optimistic positive regards
Natasa

Click to expand...

Now, I have been thinking (I have retro Mercury in my natal, so, I posted, now thinking back again and so on). Earning his respect means practicaly that now you can negotiate out of YOUR TERMS. But, you dont want to negotiate or to achieve anything. You want him to leave. So, you must make HIM not wanting you any more by making yourself everything he does not wants and making him loosing his respect for you. Because, if he respects you, maybe he will want you even more than (usualy, we want someone who we admire) - and this is not what you want. I dont know the way or do you see each other often so he has an oportunity to speak to you. Find the way.

Now, I am making a pie in the kichen and I will come back later if I get any idea how to achieve this goal or if you come with any idea (yes, a Sagittarius woman with everything in the natal pointing on 10o and on MC (Sun, Jupiter, Mercury, Neptune, conj. and sextiles and trines with Uranus and AC), and yelling ``a carrier woman``) is chalenging herself at the moment. I guess this is why my best friend was always a Cancer one - everything was home made and home baked...

A dictum from India: If you see a goal, you can never loose your way (this is again a ``carrier woman`` negotiating every single day).
Second, search your natal. What is given to you. VERY IMPORTANT. Points of strenght!
I was never in a similar situation (how could I be with Mars in first). I remember whan a unknown man on the street at the 20:00 in the evening, in the center of the city, with many many people walking around, puts his hand at a very low point of my ``back``. What did I do? I chased him, finaly came closer to him near a Police station, I ``called`` the Police (it was not a call, more like a scream), and they arrested him. Was I afraid? No. HE got afraid and he was just standing, all white, not able to speak or to move. He probably was not expecting a reaction. But if I did not react, I could never forgive myself later. I did not want to charge him or to go on court. I just asked for a verbal admonishment from the officer and to register this event so he will not do it again giving him a second chanse at the same time since he was a young man and his job was depending on his ``white`` criminal record so I thought that ``destroing`` his carrier and his finances would be ``too much`` because he also said he was sorry.

I will definitively burn something in the kitchen (again)
Wish you the best, I`ll come back later
Natasa

Thanks so much for your replies. I will not get back with him. It is kind of a downward spiral once you turn back. Made that clear in RED BOLD letters, I am done with you.

Natasa, I love Saggie girls - they are the best when you need a friend in such situations - full of fire and full of ideas and all compassion

This time I will get myself a guileless air or fire guy. Heavy emotional water guys are not for me - they kick up my emotions, play with them and toss me aside. And they do all this, themselves crying on on the other side

BTW, how did your pie turn out, hope you didn't burn it (again)

The pie was excelent this time.
I also suffered from a Cancer one and ¸¸confused feelings¸¸ so I understand. Dont know your sign, but thank you for your nice words about fire signs and about Sagittarius.
Natasa

Sweetypies, ahum, sorry to disturb this delightful, mouthwatering conversation, but I do think it is time to slice the astrological cake again or maybe wait for a feedback much lateron from Cathy or continue via PM or our Chat forum?

Strictly,
Starlink

Starlink, you are right, I am sorry. The conversation crawled on another issue... Should I blame Mercury retro for this? Or just my Sagittarius flippancy...
Natasa

Yeah, Mercury is quite a chatterbox at the moment, not only in this thread ha ha!

cathywh said:

You are right.

I am frustrated why he is not letting me go. After all that happened, he had the gall to come back and say I can't let you go. Keeps popping into my life. Getting irritated.

Click to expand...

Hi girlie

been there .. done that... i know a feeling why a person does not let go the other and yet does nothing to fix whatever has to be fixed..

i tell you what.. tell him to buzz off...

i would use him as 7th house not 5th... you can ask "what is he after?"
then look at his 7th and his derived 11th house for wishes.. and look at the moon's aspects to see what is to come... also you can look at his own dignity.. if it is peregrine - chasing his own tail with nothing concrete, if it is in detrimental and fall, probably has something up in his sleeve but afraid to act for whatever reason..

cheer up.. take a control over the situation dont let him irrotate you

T

tikana said:

i would use him as 7th house not 5th... you can ask "what is he after?"
then look at his 7th and his derived 11th house for wishes.. and look at the moon's aspects to see what is to come... also you can look at his own dignity.. if it is peregrine - chasing his own tail with nothing concrete, if it is in detrimental and fall, probably has something up in his sleeve but afraid to act for whatever reason..
T

Click to expand...

If I turn the chart, 5H becomes his 11H and 11H becomes his 5H, thats where the Venus and Moon are in opposition. Thou 5H is ruled by Cancer, Moon in same house it is weak bcos it is in Leo (my natal AC is Leo ) while Ve and Ju (him) are weak in 5H too in Aq and Cap. I can't even think may be all he wanted is to sleep with me (5H?), I got an impression he was better off with his wife.

Oh.. How I wish there is some magic which tells me what exactly were or are his real motives. If a genie asked me today what do you want, I want to know his real motive in doing all this. Is it lack of integrity or lack of control on emotions/attachments, I really don't know what his problem is. I guess men are not for me to understand, better fall in love with a girl. I think I have less feminine instincts than most females.

With all my passionate nature I loved him to distraction for 4 yrs, he comes and lives with me saying I can't live without you. Not a bit of clue what he wants.

Every time I think about it, I feel guilty as if I am the cause for a loving couple to split up. It makes me cry, I never harmed anyone in life. If they split up now, I don't know what to make of it.

- Cathy

My apologies for letting off steam here. I will try not to do again. This topic is dragging on and on without going anywhere. I need to look into my head rather than into stars for the answers

But thanks to all of you for kind words. At least I got some relief pouring out here.

- Catyh

Cathy,

No matter what he says, don't go back to him, don't listen to him.... it doesn't matter what he says, his words have no meaning. Look at his actions instead. What has he been doing all these years? Actions speak louder than words. He can say a million things, but really have no concrete intentions behind them. A person shows his real intentions by his actions.

Of course he is scared to loose you, you are good for his ego. Having two or more women pinning after them - that's probably every mans dream... I would think. He probably does love you in his own way, but after all this time if he hasn't left his wife, he probably never will.

I have been through this, not quite in such an extensive way as you, but I know how emotionally devastating it is, believe me, men like that are not worth it. And don't look back at those years as lost years, this was what you had to go through, your lesson to learn in order to grow from this experience. This was/ is an emotional journey of self discovery... who knows.

anyway, I really hope this year has a brighter future for you


R

Thanks so much. You are right, no point in looking back. I am thinking may be its a better idea to seek some counselling to get fully out of this mess without hurting myself emotionally or mentally.