We can't break up

You find it hard to break up because you have a love stellium + Pluto conjunct Moon trine Chiron in Composite. These combinations make for a very close bond that's hard to detach. However, Neptune/Uranus on the Dsc can be very unstable. With Uranus on Dsc, you need to work towards something together (be creative) or you will start working against each other due to the erratic energy. In some r/s, you may experience sudden separations. With Neptune there's a lot of unrealistic projections on the partnership. Saturn in 7H can feel too heavy at times... like there's a lot of obligations and this can build resentment + that square to Mars indicates conflicts. NN in 6H is again a difficult placement.

You have incompatible Moons so while you may feel compatible in other ways, you may not really understand each other at the emotional cores and that can pose a problem. The fact that you broke up 5x is rather telling... but breaking up won't be easy as you've experienced.

ellie04 said:

You find it hard to break up because you have a love stellium + Pluto conjunct Moon trine Chiron in Composite. These combinations make for a very close bond that's hard to detach. However, Neptune/Uranus on the Dsc can be very unstable. With Uranus on Dsc, you need to work towards something together (be creative) or you will start working against each other due to the erratic energy. In some r/s, you may experience sudden separations. With Neptune there's a lot of unrealistic projections on the partnership. Saturn in 7H can feel too heavy at times... like there's a lot of obligations and this can build resentment + that square to Mars indicates conflicts. NN in 6H is again a difficult placement.

You have incompatible Moons so while you may feel compatible in other ways, you may not really understand each other at the emotional cores and that can pose a problem. The fact that you broke up 5x is rather telling... but breaking up won't be easy as you've experienced.

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Thank you ellie for your reply. I had to goodle "love stellium" sure interesting and explains some of the binding effect.
Still, lack of understanding or not it often feels I can't keep any negative emotions (after it is expressed in a big argument or break up) towards him. I see this relationship as about growth but it is hard to know when its growing pains or just pains...
I do want to understand him better and what he needs/wants in a partner?
No doubt as people we are both kind of wierd and unconventional.

moons scorpio-sag 2/12 friendly lords mars-jup compatible,

while ascendants cancer-virgo 3/11, semi-friendly lords moon-mer,
merely dutiful relationship, one way traffic, not exactly compatible;

moon sensitive, possessive; virgo critical attitude, perfectionist;


hope this helps, wishing well,


kshantaram

I think our issue is we don't exactly know how to limit the insane attractuon and energy we have and where to channel it?
Its absolutely overwhelming in every way. Taking space was a reaction to that...But at the end if the day not a solution. The amount of physical and mental fuel taht happens...I wish I knew what is the right direction so that life outside of the relationship is still normal.
It often feels like electric currents or fire. Like some sort of mystic experience going to waste.

Electric currents or fire? Have you checked for asteroid Kaali which is number 4227? It's to do with kundalini energy which you might be arousing in each other.

Mars square Chiron in the composite chart is an indication of a relationship that descends into friction and arguments. On the more connective side is that Sun-Venus conjunction in Pisces and the intense (and occult) 8th house; added to by the Moon-Pluto conjunction. Pluto makes emotions intense and sexual; the 'reptilian' or most primitive part of the brain is highlighted with resulting energies from that part of the consciousness (fight, flight, f***).

Unable to walk away? Read about energy cords between people: your lower chakras are probably strongly 'tied' with connecting cords:

https://www.elisaromeo.com/energy-cords-soul-lessons/

As for the synastry: his Pluto opposes your Venus in solid, steady Taurus and holds her tight, reluctant to let go: but he's basically a freedom-lover with Sun (energised by being on the Galactic Centre!) in Sag, also Moon in Sag. also Venus conjunct Uranus. Freedom lovers will provoke arguments, especially when they have Mercury conjunct Uranus which can lead to being disagreeable about everything. After some space from each other, then the relationship resumes until they feel crowded and hemmed in again. You have Mars in your Aries 7th house so relationships with a high level of sex, arguments, ego clashes, are on the cards for you - was it similar with any other boyfriends?

Thank you so much for you reply!

Sweet Pea said:

Electric currents or fire? Have you checked for asteroid Kaali which is number 4227? It's to do with kundalini energy which you might be arousing in each other.

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I admit I thought of it being kandulini energy but was cautious to throw that around. All I know is I had never experienced anything like this with anyone before. Kaali doesn't seem to be doing much. In synastry it is widely conjunct my Pluto (5 degrees) while mine is conjunct his 12th house cusp.

Mars square Chiron in the composite chart is an indication of a relationship that descends into friction and arguments. On the more connective side is that Sun-Venus conjunction in Pisces and the intense (and occult) 8th house; added to by the Moon-Pluto conjunction. Pluto makes emotions intense and sexual; the 'reptilian' or most primitive part of the brain is highlighted with resulting energies from that part of the consciousness (fight, flight, f***).

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Well...That's about right.
That primitive brain and just instincts play a huge role. BUT we have gotten better at arguing and how we react/respond in a way that is less hurtful or damaging.
Where this gets really "attractive" is...Because it feels that after each fight we change as people on a deep level (growth?) it seems to make sense to not break but keep building the relationship. Yet, it is so much work! And deeply painful (Pluto?) but the fact that we both don't give up makes me continue and stand although I feel like after each episode of growth I need a 20 year vacation. Its a lot of work. The other thing that is causing issues is that we have too much fun together and limiting that is not easy.
So..It's this weird mix of super deep Pluto trauma healing and too much playing and fun.

Unable to walk away? Read about energy cords between people: your lower chakras are probably strongly 'tied' with connecting cords:
https://www.elisaromeo.com/energy-cords-soul-lessons/

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Yes..But I in a way I don't feel infatuated, I don't hold illusions of "in love" or obsession. We broke up, I felt and believed and let go to my core. Rather, I feel I have to say yes to growing, pain and all and that the value of that is too big.

As for the synastry: his Pluto opposes your Venus in solid, steady Taurus and holds her tight, reluctant to let go: but he's basically a freedom-lover with Sun (energised by being on the Galactic Centre!) in Sag, also Moon in Sag. also Venus conjunct Uranus. Freedom lovers will provoke arguments, especially when they have Mercury conjunct Uranus which can lead to being disagreeable about everything. After some space from each other, then the relationship resumes until they feel crowded and hemmed in again. You have Mars in your Aries 7th house so relationships with a high level of sex, arguments, ego clashes, are on the cards for you - was it similar with any other boyfriends?

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Interesting... You are right about his fee loving nature in a sense but the dynamic hasn't been like that at all. I'm the free loving one and he is the traditional one and we fight over that.
I am curious how his Mercury-Uranus would result in him being argumentative?
You are also right my Mars would make me go for that. Unlike previous relationships with him I finally feel I can express my Mars (not as a shadow reflected in him being Mars) but in being able to stand up for myself and so on. This happened over time as a result of our confrontations.
Now, do you think this relationship could settle into something more calm (be it less passion/Eros or more harmony) or just "settle down" into a marriage dynamic?
My feeling was that we can only let it be as it is and no point planning a future. Yet, we are deeply in love (ouch).
So I'm asking is there a way or a point in trying to settle into a future where we finally don't resist each other? Or is fighting giving in to this connection (by giving in I mean marriage) is right?

I'm not a relationship counsellor so I can't give advice on whether it's possible for you to settle into something more harmonious. It surely depends on the evolutionary state of both of you; how hard you are prepared to work (and it does sound like work), whether you believe there is a karmic purpose in it all or there is just an energetic clash going on..... It's your life and your decision whether to carry on. Saturn in the composite 7th house can be interpreted in different ways: delaying commitment, or bonding you together for a long while. I'm not a psychic so I can't see your life from a bird's eye or soul kind of viewpoint so I can't say stay with it, or don't stay with it.

Mercury-Uranus likes to say the opposite of what was just said by the other person, in my experience. That can tend to lead to arguments.

Just for yourself, write down what you love about this man and your relationship and not just about good sex (that's just a chemical 'high' that your bodies make together, to do with your Mars square his Uranus, probably).

Is it really love and compatibility, or is it co-dependency? Does the fun really outweigh the deep pain? Is there something in you that feeds on that pain, almost welcomes it? Why stay around for more pain, knowing it'll inevitably come?? Hmmm?

I also see from your previous threads that you were in December totally in love with, and yet experiencing conflicts with, a guy who was a Gemini. What happened to him? "Love" died? Have you only been with this Sag. guy for 4 months or less? If so, and you've already broken up 5 times, then it's not much of a relationship, is it? It takes much longer than that to suss out whether you can really love someone. 4 months isn't long enough to really know someone in all weathers, inside and out.

I'm thinking that it's the combination of your Plutonic Moon that must always have roller-coaster emotional drama, plus your 7th house Mars in Aries that are the characters in your psyche which actively enjoy relationships where there is both deep intimacy and fighting.

Thank you sweet pea.