How many ____ does it take to ***** in a light bulb?
-Aries: One, but you'd better get the hell out of the way!
-Taurus: None. Taureans can't change.
-Gemini: Two.
-Cancer: One, but she'll really miss the old one...
-Leo: One, plus a hallelujah chorus.
-Virgo: One to take it out, one to check the wiring, one to put the new one in, one to clean up the mess... and one to say they didn't do it right. (My Virgo Sun (+ Uranus-Pluto-Mercury stellium!) mother does this all. the. time.)
-Libra: One to do it and one not to do it.
-Scorpio: None. They like the dark. OR Two, but how did they get in there?!
-Sagittarius:
-Capricorn: None, they prefer oil lamps.
-Aquarius: One, but he'll have to do it with the very latest technology.
-Pisces: (my personal favorite, as it describes me to a T) The light went out?!
-Therapists: One, but the bulb really has to want to change.
-Optimists: None. The bulb will come back on on its own.
-Pessimists: None. The new bulb will burn out soon enough.
-Astrologers: Hold on, let me check the current transits to see if it's a good time to change the bulb...
-Teenage boys: One to knock the old one out with a baseball bat, one to step on the broken pieces and need to go to the ER, one to laugh at that one, one to slam-dunk the remains of the bulb into the trash can, and one to look for bigger bulbs...and possibly yet another to say "That's what she said".
-Deadheads: Over 100,000. 5,000 to ignore the brand new bulbs, 5,000 more to follow the old burned-out bulb all over the world, 20,000 bootleg bulb dealers, and 70,000 to say they made the bulbs so much better back in the day.
