Male impotence in chart

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clip11

Well-known member
I have been struggling with a **** addiction which has negatively affected my ability to perform in bed. A few times, with different women, I couldn't get aroused and it was very humiliating, so I don't even bother trying to pursue women anymore until I can kick this addiction and my body can heal, but it's extremely difficult and it's demoralizing to me.

Is there anything in my chart pointing to impotence and **** addiction and is there anything in my chart which can give any indication when and how I can break this addiction?

https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=85597&d=1591076930
 
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PlutorisingLee

Well-known member
In a short yes...Similar Sagg-Capricorn stellium I know personally all struggles with some form of addiction or taboo behavior.

That Moon Uranus conjunct to the ic suggests not much positive or stable examples of a nurturing female in early home.

Although on the plus side very creative and independent spirit.

Sadly it is square Mars so you have a lot of anger inside that is hurting you.

Mars is conjuct Jupiter which suggests hedonism and over indulgence with regard to sex and women.

Preferences will be unusual (Moon-Uranus to Jupiter-Mars). You probably really like the idea of "freedom" but this freedom has trapped you.

It is not an easy chart.

The outlet I see is through Pluto (deep diving in psychological work) and finding healing through that sexual journey- find spiritual meaning in it (Jupiter).

Instead of keeping it cold and free and rationale...Go into your emotions and reframe your outlook so that sexuality has meaning that is sacred.

Mars-Jupiter is Pisces so you could easily find some path...Just don't join a cult.
 
C

clip11

Well-known member
PlutorisingLee said:
In a short yes...Similar Sagg-Capricorn stellium I know personally all struggles with some form of addiction or taboo behavior.

That Moon Uranus conjunct to the ic suggests not much positive or stable examples of a nurturing female in early home.

Although on the plus side very creative and independent spirit.

Sadly it is square Mars so you have a lot of anger inside that is hurting you.

Mars is conjuct Jupiter which suggests hedonism and over indulgence with regard to sex and women.

Preferences will be unusual (Moon-Uranus to Jupiter-Mars). You probably really like the idea of "freedom" but this freedom has trapped you.

It is not an easy chart.

The outlet I see is through Pluto (deep diving in psychological work) and finding healing through that sexual journey- find spiritual meaning in it (Jupiter).

Instead of keeping it cold and free and rationale...Go into your emotions and reframe your outlook so that sexuality has meaning that is sacred.

Mars-Jupiter is Pisces so you could easily find some path...Just don't join a cult.
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Is it that the stellium is in the fourth house?
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
What are you addicted to? Impossible to tell since the software censor asterisked out the word.

It will asterisk out the short form, commonly used word for pornography, but not, as you can see, the whole word itself.

Or do you mean a substance? Weed, say?

Addiction can be a Jupiter thing (excess), a Neptune thing (escapism), a Pisces thing (escapism again, and Jupiterian excess... Jupiter in Pisces, trining much of your chart so that its energy flows smoothly, suggests it's quite easy for you to get addicted to something).

If my first guess as to what you're addicted to is correct, Jupiter conjunct Mars (admittedly a wide orb) and trine Pluto would be adding a sexual element to your addiction. Venus trine Mars could also be bringing that in.
 
C

clip11

Well-known member
Osamenor said:
What are you addicted to? Impossible to tell since the software censor asterisked out the word.

It will asterisk out the short form, commonly used word for pornography, but not, as you can see, the whole word itself.

Or do you mean a substance? Weed, say?

Addiction can be a Jupiter thing (excess), a Neptune thing (escapism), a Pisces thing (escapism again, and Jupiterian excess... Jupiter in Pisces, trining much of your chart so that its energy flows smoothly, suggests it's quite easy for you to get addicted to something).

If my first guess as to what you're addicted to is correct, Jupiter conjunct Mars (admittedly a wide orb) and trine Pluto would be adding a sexual element to your addiction. Venus trine Mars could also be bringing that in.
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It is pormography
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
So the next question to explore is, what does this addiction mean for you? What got you into it?

A common problem I see in people with the DC in Pisces is a tendency to avoid intimacy while appearing to pursue it. That could mean repeatedly falling for, or pursuing, unavailable people. That could mean putting every partner, and even every potential partner, on a pedestal, expecting them to be the answer to everything for you, and setting such high standards that no real person could measure up.

Having planets at the DC affects the how. Jupiter, excess. Mars, virility, sexuality, masculinity. Maybe it's your partner(s) you're putting on a pedestal (this would be so if you expect her to look or perform like a female adult film star, which usually means unrealistic standards), or maybe it's yourself. If you're putting pressure on yourself to perform like a male adult film star--which isn't usually possible for real men in real, non-scripted, non-edited situations, and which isn't even what women typically want--then that kills it.

When men have questions or insecurities around their sense of masculinity, it relates to their Mars. Sexual performance is very much a Mars/masculinity thing.
 
C

clip11

Well-known member
Osamenor said:
So the next question to explore is, what does this addiction mean for you? What got you into it?

A common problem I see in people with the DC in Pisces is a tendency to avoid intimacy while appearing to pursue it. That could mean repeatedly falling for, or pursuing, unavailable people. That could mean putting every partner, and even every potential partner, on a pedestal, expecting them to be the answer to everything for you, and setting such high standards that no real person could measure up.

Having planets at the DC affects the how. Jupiter, excess. Mars, virility, sexuality, masculinity. Maybe it's your partner(s) you're putting on a pedestal (this would be so if you expect her to look or perform like a female adult film star, which usually means unrealistic standards), or maybe it's yourself. If you're putting pressure on yourself to perform like a male adult film star--which isn't usually possible for real men in real, non-scripted, non-edited situations, and which isn't even what women typically want--then that kills it.

When men have questions or insecurities around their sense of masculinity, it relates to their Mars. Sexual performance is very much a Mars/masculinity thing.
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Well, I got into it as a teenager. When I was 14, Id say. I wasn't that popular with girls at the time and in fact, went my whole Hs years without a girlfriend or dating, even though I really wanted to. From what I have read, positive attention from the opposite sex during your teen years is an important developmental milestone and studies bear this out. I really believe that had I gotten this back then, I likely would not have developed this addiction which probably developed as a way to take the place of actual validation from the opposite sex.
 
C

clip11

Well-known member
passiflora said:
What you’re saying makes sense. What do you make of the earlier poster’s suggestion that Moon-Uranus square Mars creates anger turned inward, and the way out of it is a journey into trust and transformation? Anger, hurt, mistrust (at women or the idea of intimacy itself) serves as a hook into addiction and makes it seem almost not worth it to climb out.
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I suppose that makes sense. But what exactly should I do to get out of it?

You know, when I read about news articles about how some 14 or 15 year old young man was having a sexual relationship with his attractive 20 or 30 something teacher, it disturbs me but because I would have liked nothing more at that age to have a girl I was attracted to, be attracted to me back. And I wonder how are these guys, with nothing to offer in the way of money can get an older woman to risk everything to sleep with them while I couldn't get anything at that age.

When I was in high school, I saw girls literally fighting, physical combat, over a single guy. Even when I was im the 8th grade, I remember, there was this boy who I hung around and this girl who liked him wrote him this very x rated letter. I know because he let us read it. But back then, I just felt like the odd one out, like I was abnormal because I just couldn't get any opposite sex attention.

Had I been in that position, it would have been very good for my self esteem and self confidence and I likely wouldn't have developed a **** addiction.
 
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Frisiangal

Well-known member
Hi,
Couldn't it simply be that the women you engage with in real life in no way match up to, are no substitute for, and do not produce the experience that the women portrayed in the addiction do? 'Phantom' lovers provide the release.
Mercury-Neptune in Capricorn opp. MEAN BML in Cancer.

Mercury of Virgo would desire 'physical perfection'.

A NN in Aries in 8th could relate tothe development of masculine virility. Mars in Pisces has it and can be a perfect lover. Yet trine Venus in Scorpio may be seeking emotional commitment through 'the real thing', in the way of mutual love (SN Libra). Sex without love, which is just going through the carnal paces, isn't the same as the intimacy of love with it.

If you simply look at women as sex objects. how can the loving part of you find the fulfilment it seeks ? (Venus trine Jupiter)
Sun in Capricorn semi-square Venus, and the large 4th house planetary alignment may provide an answer. Emotional detachment instead of attachment?
 
C

clip11

Well-known member
Frisiangal said:
Hi,
Couldn't it simply be that the women you engage with in real life in no way match up to, are no substitute for, and do not produce the experience that the women portrayed in the addiction do? 'Phantom' lovers provide the release.
Mercury-Neptune in Capricorn opp. MEAN BML in Cancer.

Mercury of Virgo would desire 'physical perfection'.

A NN in Aries in 8th could relate tothe development of masculine virility. Mars in Pisces has it and can be a perfect lover. Yet trine Venus in Scorpio may be seeking emotional commitment through 'the real thing', in the way of mutual love (SN Libra). Sex without love, which is just going through the carnal paces, isn't the same as the intimacy of love with it.

If you simply look at women as sex objects. how can the loving part of you find the fulfilment it seeks ? (Venus trine Jupiter)
Sun in Capricorn semi-square Venus, and the large 4th house planetary alignment may provide an answer. Emotional detachment instead of attachment?
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I don't think it's that. I don't know to be honest.
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
clip11 said:
I saw a therapist. It didn't help. I don't know why.
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Talk isn't always the solution. And unless this therapist you saw dealt in particular with sexuality issues, they were probably not the right person to address this with.

Do you know the How To Do It column at Slate? The people who write it are sexuality experts, and they advise people on issues like this all the time.

Turning to the astrological factors, do you feel this is tied up with your sense of masculinity? As I mentioned previously, Mars seems to be a factor when masculinity issues are up. Mars is also virility, passion, and sexuality.

Do you think you were putting too much pressure on yourself to perform, those times when you found that you couldn't? Or expecting something of your partner that she couldn't deliver?

How close were you to these women you were with when you ran into that problem? How well did you know them? It's an easier thing to do when you can relax and not worry about it, and it's easier to relax and not worry about it the more comfortable you are with your partner. If you're having a quick fling with someone you barely know, you're not likely to be as comfortable as if you're with someone you've known for a long time and have established emotional intimacy with, not just sexual attraction.

Both of your sexuality planets--Venus and Mars--are in water signs. That's the most vulnerable kind of sign, and the kind with the greatest need for emotional intimacy. I'd be surprised if you could be truly comfortable with sex in the absence of real emotional intimacy.
 
C

clip11

Well-known member
Osamenor said:
Talk isn't always the solution. And unless this therapist you saw dealt in particular with sexuality issues, they were probably not the right person to address this with.

Do you know the How To Do It column at Slate? The people who write it are sexuality experts, and they advise people on issues like this all the time.

Turning to the astrological factors, do you feel this is tied up with your sense of masculinity? As I mentioned previously, Mars seems to be a factor when masculinity issues are up. Mars is also virility, passion, and sexuality.

Do you think you were putting too much pressure on yourself to perform, those times when you found that you couldn't? Or expecting something of your partner that she couldn't deliver?

How close were you to these women you were with when you ran into that problem? How well did you know them? It's an easier thing to do when you can relax and not worry about it, and it's easier to relax and not worry about it the more comfortable you are with your partner. If you're having a quick fling with someone you barely know, you're not likely to be as comfortable as if you're with someone you've known for a long time and have established emotional intimacy with, not just sexual attraction.

Both of your sexuality planets--Venus and Mars--are in water signs. That's the most vulnerable kind of sign, and the kind with the greatest need for emotional intimacy. I'd be surprised if you could be truly comfortable with sex in the absence of real emotional intimacy.
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I know the problem is ****. It's just a hard addiction to kick. If I could kick it, Id Have no problem. Like I said, it started in my teens. In big part, at least I believe, because I wasn't getting any validation from the opposite sex that other guys around me were getting. And even if I get it now, it still in some ways isn't the same as getting it when I was 14 or 15.

The best I can explain it is like someone who's physical growth was stunted because of lack of food. Then they come into a position where they have a steady supply of food, but even though they can eat and they may grow, they'll never grow to their full potential had they been adequately nourished when they were originally growing.

And I know the stock reply is to just validate yourself, except that's at odds with biology.
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
clip11 said:
I know the problem is ****. It's just a hard addiction to kick. If I could kick it, Id Have no problem. Like I said, it started in my teens. In big part, at least I believe, because I wasn't getting any validation from the opposite sex that other guys around me were getting. And even if I get it now, it still in some ways isn't the same as getting it when I was 14 or 15.
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But that doesn't mean your sexuality is stunted forever, unless you make yourself believe it does. It's a myth that you have to have sexual attention, experiences, etc. in your teens in order to have any "normal" development in that arena. Sexuality develops throughout life. There isn't any one timeline that you absolutely must follow.

I see your DC and its nearest planets in this. Pisces is the sign most prone to illusions and fantasy, and to removal from the real world. Jupiter is the planet of beliefs--deeply entrenched ones. Mars: this is about your sexuality. And projection. You project the Mars you didn't have--the sexual validation you wanted--onto others. And you have yourself convinced that it isn't yours.
 
C

clip11

Well-known member
Osamenor said:
Mars: this is about your sexuality. And projection. You project the Mars you didn't have--the sexual validation you wanted--onto others. And you have yourself convinced that it isn't yours.
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Would you mind explaining this a little bit more?
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
clip11 said:
Would you mind explaining this a little bit more?
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Planets in the natal chart represent our own traits, but a planet at the DC often represents traits that we disown in ourselves and project onto others. Mars is one of the most commonly disowned planets, from what I've seen.

A disowned Mars might mean that you disown your own aggression or anger, the "not nice" traits that go with Mars. Or your own sexuality. For a man, disowning Mars could mean he disowns something about his own masculinity. (For a woman, a disowned Mars would probably be the traits she has that are "too" masculine and tend to be rejected by society.)

You saw other young men getting attention, and seeming to be sexually active (or at least on the way to it) when that was not happening to you. It sounds like you've built up a sense of reality in which normal, healthy sexuality is something other men can have, but you cannot. A deep down sense that you are literally impotent.

You explain it as the result of watching pornography and not having the attentions of women/girls when you were a teen. I don't think that's the real reason, although I believe it feels completely real to you. I know from my own experience, and the stories of certain people in my life, that not having sexual attention or experiences as a teenager is no barrier at all to developing a healthy and active sexuality later in life. Pornography isn't a barrier either unless you make it one.

I think what's going on here is a version of a disowned Mars. You're convinced that healthy, normal sexuality belongs to other men but cannot belong to you.
 
C

clip11

Well-known member
Osamenor said:
Planets in the natal chart represent our own traits, but a planet at the DC often represents traits that we disown in ourselves and project onto others. Mars is one of the most commonly disowned planets, from what I've seen.

A disowned Mars might mean that you disown your own aggression or anger, the "not nice" traits that go with Mars. Or your own sexuality. For a man, disowning Mars could mean he disowns something about his own masculinity. (For a woman, a disowned Mars would probably be the traits she has that are "too" masculine and tend to be rejected by society.)

You saw other young men getting attention, and seeming to be sexually active (or at least on the way to it) when that was not happening to you. It sounds like you've built up a sense of reality in which normal, healthy sexuality is something other men can have, but you cannot. A deep down sense that you are literally impotent.

You explain it as the result of watching pornography and not having the attentions of women/girls when you were a teen. I don't think that's the real reason, although I believe it feels completely real to you. I know from my own experience, and the stories of certain people in my life, that not having sexual attention or experiences as a teenager is no barrier at all to developing a healthy and active sexuality later in life. Pornography isn't a barrier either unless you make it one.

I think what's going on here is a version of a disowned Mars. You're convinced that healthy, normal sexuality belongs to other men but cannot belong to you.
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Could this also be an effect of Saturn squaring my Mars?
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
clip11 said:
Could this also be an effect of Saturn squaring my Mars?
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Saturn square Mars might add a certain rigidity to your belief. But I'd see that as more an effect of Saturn square Jupiter. Your Saturn/Jupiter square is tight, within 2 degrees' orb. Your Saturn/Mars square has an 8 degree orb. That's so wide that not every astrologer would even count it. At best, it's a weak square.

Both of those squares are separating, too. Separating square energy isn't as strong as applying square energy. It's not a problem that builds up over your life, it's a problem you can more easily resolve. Maybe it takes time and work to resolve it, but it can be done.
 
Dirius

Dirius

Well-known member
clip11 said:
I have been struggling with a **** addiction which has negatively affected my ability to perform in bed. A few times, with different women, I couldn't get aroused and it was very humiliating, so I don't even bother trying to pursue women anymore until I can kick this addiction and my body can heal, but it's extremely difficult and it's demoralizing to me.

Is there anything in my chart pointing to impotence and **** addiction and is there anything in my chart which can give any indication when and how I can break this addiction?

https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=85597&d=1591076930
Click to expand...

P.I.E.D. is just the sympton of an addiction, not something that is necessarily physically wrong with you.
 
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