As my interest in astrology has grown over the past few months, I’ve found that the more I learn, the more my natal chart scares me. As I'm still a beginner when it comes to astrology, I would appreciate a more holistic view of my chart because it's hard for me not to look at it in separate aspects, and of course when so many things overlap, I know it’s necessary to have a broader view of the chart, so I suppose that’s what I'm looking for help with. I know to presume one is "doomed" to a hard life due to malefic aspects in the chart isn't necessarily helpful nor accurate. As to what in particular concerns me? First of all, Saturn in the 12th house. I've read that this can be one of the worst placements for it, not to mention all of the oppositions and squares to major points in the chart (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Ceres, and my Midheaven). Also note that all of those planets form a stellium in my 6th house along with Pluto. The sixth house, seemingly about a multitude of things mostly related to overall health and wellbeing, has been deemed a pretty negative place to have planets (or so I've read). My Vertex in Scorpio, lucky me, also happens to fall there, and is square my Neptune. Pluto conjunct Chiron in my 7th house makes me feel that deep emotional pain is going to be a reoccurring theme in my life, obviously specifically regarding relationships (already has been thus far as I had a deep, soul-shattering, karmic unrequited love during transiting Pluto conjunct my natal Venus a few years ago), which I have always highly valued and even idealized, yet never been in myself despite the deep longing I have for one (compounded by loneliness). I'm also pretty sure I've read that with this aspect the native can find themselves in places of confinement (such as hospitals, prisons, etc.). With the excess of Air in my chart, including a grand trine, and a lack of sufficient Earth, I tend to get stuck in my thoughts a lot of the time (I also believe I have undiagnosed ADHD/ADD) and have a hard time staying grounded. I'm 18 (female), and I've already been hospitalized (psychiatric) four times within the past few years for depression (I also have generalized and social anxiety). Quite frankly the more I look at my childhood and research, the more I realize my mother and I have had a codependent relationship (which I think could be explained by my Ceres placement/aspects), and my parents were fairly emotionally absent due to substance abuse (alcohol, mainly, as well as marijuana but that was less of a problem) and untreated mental health issues and I believe I could have Complex PTSD from that. Like I said, I’m just looking for some guidance in seeing the chart more holistically, because it’s a bit discouraging the way I look it at now, especially the more I come to realize about my childhood and mental health. I truly appreciate anyone who took the time to read this and/or gives feedback. Thank you in advance.
*I’ve included asteroids that I’ve discovered form conjunctions with personal planets in my chart.
*I’ve included asteroids that I’ve discovered form conjunctions with personal planets in my chart.
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