Marinadiamondis
New member
Hi I am new to this stuff so i am sorry to bother you guys to answer my question it would really mean the world to me. 
my brother is biploar. I was wondering if I have bipolar too because i do kind of show signs of it for example. lack of sleep, getting easily angry and sensitive to certain words. I feel moody. I'm very intense and i feel very confused often. for no reason out of nowhere I want to kill or hurt my loved ones. or want to kill myself just to hurt them real bad. I rarely feel happy I am but not with my whole heart. If not bipolar then any mental disorder? Because I don't think it's normal to feel this way I am worried I will hurt someone in the future. I don't want that. I cry and regret thinking or dreaming to do horrible things especially to my loved ones. I don't want to kill them but idk i feel like something is controlling me saying "Kill them you must do it!" I even look up on the internet how to murder people. I am not proud at all or truly want to do it. I don't know why i feel this way I'm confused! Please help! I'm sorry if it's too long. Also my family loves me and they treat me with lots of affection I don't think it is for revenge! What's wrong with me? I am scared and worried. I dont want to hurt anyone.. This is my birthchart and aspects i think. Enlighten me! http://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?btyp=w2gw;rs=3;usechpref=1&nhor=1
my brother is biploar. I was wondering if I have bipolar too because i do kind of show signs of it for example. lack of sleep, getting easily angry and sensitive to certain words. I feel moody. I'm very intense and i feel very confused often. for no reason out of nowhere I want to kill or hurt my loved ones. or want to kill myself just to hurt them real bad. I rarely feel happy I am but not with my whole heart. If not bipolar then any mental disorder? Because I don't think it's normal to feel this way I am worried I will hurt someone in the future. I don't want that. I cry and regret thinking or dreaming to do horrible things especially to my loved ones. I don't want to kill them but idk i feel like something is controlling me saying "Kill them you must do it!" I even look up on the internet how to murder people. I am not proud at all or truly want to do it. I don't know why i feel this way I'm confused! Please help! I'm sorry if it's too long. Also my family loves me and they treat me with lots of affection I don't think it is for revenge! What's wrong with me? I am scared and worried. I dont want to hurt anyone.. This is my birthchart and aspects i think. Enlighten me! http://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?btyp=w2gw;rs=3;usechpref=1&nhor=1