Why some people have delays in their love life?

Hello there!

I hope you are having a good day. I'm a 28 year old male struggling to find his feet in the world of love and relationships. I never got any luck or opportunity with casual or long term relationships in my life.
I'd like to know your thoughts on why I've been this unlucky. Can I expect some good times in the future with transits?

(I attached the transits, progressions and converse progressions charts if anyone is interested in having a look at them)

5th house stellium, Mars in Virgo.

I'm 35yo and in your shoes, buddy.

There are a few signatures for late bloomers in the love & romance department.

Hishara, I'll assume you are heterosexual, but if not, please just translate this post into a male-male situation.

Your natal moon is very prominent in your chart, suggesting that your mother has been a major influence in your life: moreso than for most people. It's making a T-square with Pluto in your 7th house of marriage and other permanent relationships; and with your Leo Mercury-Venus-Jupiter.

Without blaming Mom, can you recall anything in her behaviour or in your parent-son relationship that might have made it difficult for you to form an attachment with a girl your own age?

Then Venus in a heterosexual man's chart is one indicator of the kind of woman he finds attractive. Your Venus is retrograde, suggesting that your dream girl lives in your head, not in ordinary everyday women with whom you might actually be very compatible. You might feel so apprehensive about rejection that you never take the first step to contact someone who might actually love to hear from you.

The square to Pluto in the 7th house suggests mistrust and a fear of betrayal.

Well, some people are not trustworthy and some people are betrayers, so the antidote is to realize that you are strong enough and centered enough to withstand hurtful behaviour from a love interest.

Also, Aries in the first house suggests that you actually enjoy time spent on your own, where you can be independent.

So this also makes me wonder if you are getting out of your comfort zone and meeting people. You might consider taking an evening or weekend class, or joining a club where you are likely to meet women your age.

I know they're out there. We get a lot of posts from women wondering why they're still single.

I don't see Mars in Virgo as denying a loving relationship, in and of itself. Presumably 1/12 of the world's population have this placement, and most of them manage to settle down with someone.

waybread said:

There are a few signatures for late bloomers in the love & romance department.

Hishara, I'll assume you are heterosexual, but if not, please just translate this post into a male-male situation.

Your natal moon is very prominent in your chart, suggesting that your mother has been a major influence in your life: moreso than for most people. It's making a T-square with Pluto in your 7th house of marriage and other permanent relationships; and with your Leo Mercury-Venus-Jupiter.

Without blaming Mom, can you recall anything in her behaviour or in your parent-son relationship that might have made it difficult for you to form an attachment with a girl your own age?

Then Venus in a heterosexual man's chart is one indicator of the kind of woman he finds attractive. Your Venus is retrograde, suggesting that your dream girl lives in your head, not in ordinary everyday women with whom you might actually be very compatible. You might feel so apprehensive about rejection that you never take the first step to contact someone who might actually love to hear from you.

The square to Pluto in the 7th house suggests mistrust and a fear of betrayal.

Well, some people are not trustworthy and some people are betrayers, so the antidote is to realize that you are strong enough and centered enough to withstand hurtful behaviour from a love interest.

Also, Aries in the first house suggests that you actually enjoy time spent on your own, where you can be independent.

So this also makes me wonder if you are getting out of your comfort zone and meeting people. You might consider taking an evening or weekend class, or joining a club where you are likely to meet women your age.

I know they're out there. We get a lot of posts from women wondering why they're still single.

I don't see Mars in Virgo as denying a loving relationship, in and of itself. Presumably 1/12 of the world's population have this placement, and most of them manage to settle down with someone.

Click to expand...

Thank you for the reply!
Yes, I'm a heterosexual male. I wouldn't blame mom for anything. However when I was very young (until 4-5 years old) my father lived abroad so I was with her all the time, and she is a strong woman (mentally) and vocal, so I guess I was somewhat molded with her traits. My dad is very calm and quiet compared to her.

I got very sick when I was around 10 and was hospitalized for a couple of months. It was diagnosed as a nerves problem and I pretty much had to relearn how to walk. It took me years to get back to my previous physical conditions. I think that gave me an introverted personality. I spent more time at home, no sports or mixing with students, and my parents were always overprotective of me.

Once I started university I moved to a different country (and then further away for my studies now) and slowly started building my social skills, but I think I've lost a great amount of opportunities because of my lack of sociability. Add to that being from a different culture, lack of communication skills ( I didn't speak their language) played a role as well.

I also like being alone and independent. Part of it due to how I being brought up I guess. Our home hardly had guests , so I got used to staying alone. Sometimes I want to go out, clubbing all the time but my current financial status doesn't allow me to. I'm a post grad student now, so my budget is pretty low. Here I still have the same problems as my undergrad days, not speaking the language, people being 6-8 years younger than me, difference in cultures etc. I always have the feeling that romance has been stripped out of my life for some reason.

My question is why so many people have delays and struggles in there love life these days. As much as I wanna say it's normal, and I try to trust the process , it doesn't feel like that.

With your Venus conjuncting Jupiter and Mercury, it's possible you may get overzealous especially with that 5th house stellium. And I have my Venus squaring my moon as well. I think that's a biggie. It can cause your emotional needs to be a bit confused and convoluted, feeling like there are aspects of yourself and what you desire that are never quite in line. You may find yourself attracted to what doesn't align with your soul(moon) and your deeper self. Saturn in the 10th is right at home and may suggest you're very concentrated on your career path, your goals and these goals may very well sometimes come before romance even if you so desire love

Venus squaring Pluto may mean there are conflicts within yourself that don't allow you to surrender to the romantic and sexual urges of yours. And if you do surrender, it may result in issues of power in the relationship, perhaps inducing fear within you of what may come of fully surrendering and therefor you go back and forth. You may go all in and then quickly refrain



But the fact you have so many hard aspects to your Venus and a full 5th house stellium does suggest that one of the main challenges of your life is to balance your desire for love with what's right for your spiritual journey, your soul as well as surrendering in ways that don't make you scared and don't result in love games--
I personally believe it means you'll find love and it'll be hardearned, but so so worth the wait because when you do find the woman for you, it will completely click with your spirit and you'll feel comfortable being vulnerable(that Pluto aspect I believe can lead to issues of allowing yourself to be truly vulnerable)

Hishara, thanks for the background information. I'm glad you've recovered your health.

I would suggest you spend some time thinking through whether your explanations for your single status have by now turned into excuses.

Love always entails risks. Sometimes those risks lead to lasting love, and sometimes they don't. So many songs have been written about broken hearts. But if we don't take the risks, we never put ourselves into situations where meeting someone is even possible.

Also, your chart suggests that you have very idealistic thoughts about your dream girl. She probably doesn't exist in real life. This doesn't mean you can't have a perfectly wonderful relationship with a woman who is only human.

I don't know whether you've joined a reputable Internet dating service, or joined a campus club or off-campus organization where you are likely to meet people. Someone as serious and studious as you might rather meet a female student than someone in a night club.

I can't say for sure why this current young adult generation is having more difficulty in finding True Love. Some of the following are probably true for any given individual, if not all of them.

1. Saturn in the 7th house or Saturn-ruled Capricorn on the cusp. This is exacerbated with other "heavy" planets conjunct Saturn in the 7th house. (Note that the 5th house rules casual short-term love affairs, not committed relationships.)

2. Less pressure on people to get married and stay married. Less emphasis on marriage as necessary to raise children. More acceptance of alternative living arrangements. More feelings that if a relationship runs into difficulties, leave now. Fewer young adults whose own parents modeled stable relationships.

3. Too much screen time, text time, &c. "Relationships" start up and continue via electronic media, not with actual face time.

4. Afflicted Venus. It might be retrograde, or in a stressful aspect with a heavy planet like Saturn or Pluto.

5. Uranus in the 7th or afflicting the moon or Venus: relationships that begin and end suddenly.