Just moved in with narcisstic mother

So of course it cannot be expected to end well, but I'd like to look at it from an astrology perspective.My partner of 30 years died in January, I was looking at homelessness, I moved in with my mother. She told me she has improved as a person. She has not, and I now realize she is a narcissist.I am taking steps to learn about it, and learn about dealing with it. I don't have her birth info.


My dog was bit by the neighbor's dog, and is a bit traumatized by i t. Things are not starting off well. I moved from Las Vegas to northern California.







Please read my chart. Birth time is: February 3, 1959. 10:34 pm. Los angeles, CA.

qimualaniq said:

So of course it cannot be expected to end well, but I'd like to look at it from an astrology perspective.
My partner of 30 years died in January, I was looking at homelessness, I moved in with my mother. She told me she has improved as a person. She has not, and I now realize she is a narcissist.I am taking steps to learn about it, and learn about dealing with it. I don't have her birth info.
.

Click to expand...

Hi qimualaniq,

sorry to hear from the loss of your partner - 30 years relationship is a very long time and hard to stand - to be without him - now. I can feel with you.

And moving back to your quite old mother - like going back into childhood is surely not easy. But she was open for you in your emergency situation and has given you a roof over your head - to avoid that you'll get homeless - as her child.

Every experienced astrologer for years knows, that one never can compare one private story with another private story - especially not in astrology - as everybody has his own special chart energies - to experience something - to go thru something, to overcome something, to process something and to transform something to another level.

Sam's private story -posted repeatedly on other's topics -normally ends with telling having almost committed suicide after having left his father as an adult with already own children because of being abandoned and disowned by the rest of his family - and sure this is hard to stand for own children to experience a parent part like this.

But this is not the case for you and not- what happened to you.

And to be honest- I can't find or see in your chart that your mother is narcisstic - and you didn't tell anything more precisely and in details - not giving examples - why you mean this. You only talked about what happened to your dog.

In your chart your mother is shown in 4th house - in capricorn ruled by saturn. Saturn is in 3rd house conjuncting your moon as your MC / Midheaven and lifepath ruler. Saturn is sextiling your venus as your ASC ruler, is sextiling your neptune in 1st house and is zero degree exact trining your pluto as your physical existence house 2nd ruler - a strong life supporting and survival energy support- to protect you and your life as her child.

What I see more in your chart- that your mother had to suffer a lot from your father /her partner in her relationship and marriage. Father figure - 5th house-male active principle sun house - in your chart is ruled by uranus.

Uranus as ruler of 5th house in fix sign aquarius - own will own ego - is in fix sign proud leo in 10th house - an ego-centered strict rules teller- and zero degree exact opposes your sun in your 4th house and sesquiquadrates your moon as your midheaven and 10th house ruler - your uranus is in.

Venus in 5th house -father authority figure - ruling your ASC but also ruling your 8th house - with venus/pluto correspondence energy - opposes your pluto in 11th house (the traditional uranus house) at point of your birth.

8th house the traditional fix sign scorpio/pluto house - what sign can change in a personal chart due to DOB and TOB -among others -is genetic inheritage, long term relationships and marriage - but is as also death and near to death experience in own life, shocks, trauma and life threatening dangerous events. Which can be stored in subconsious - and can get up - if transit activated.

Saturn as your 4th house ruler- mother and real actual home is actually not transit activated for getting issues. And your 8th house mars as your 7th house ruler - is now trine-supported by transit pluto - a strong intense energy support to not give up and to transform something to another energy level, to see past experience in a different light and to cope with death and the loss of your partner.

But your saturn will get transit-activated [FONT=&quot]beginning with 05/29/2022 by transit jupiter as your communication 3rd house ruler in your 6th house - by square – additional energy to clarify something and to work on something – lasting until 01/16/2023. And if ruler of 4th house is transit-activated- this is a good chance to find a new home and a good neighborhood (3rd house ruled by jupiter).[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]As beginning with 04/27/2022 transit uranus will square your natal uranus as your 5th house ruler - to get you independant again-
[/FONT]

Thank you both for your input and for looking at my chart. I will contemplate it.


Zora, I'm afraid my mother really is a narcissist. I'm thinking I'd better try to get some help financially from the state to see if I c an get out, and keep my dog too. My dog is doing better, and I managed to get the neighbors to keep their vicious dog inside.

In relevance to this thread, an article regarding your parents' natal charts in synastry with yours can determine your relationship with your parents. Can you tell us more about your mother's hold up onto yours and the current horary time you two are in (March 1-7th, 2022). And what are your and Mom's moon signs? (edit: I checked the OP to find her moon cusps Sagittarius with "stern" Capricorn).

*Please disregard the post and sorry it could appear spammish, I was informed to not do that again, you have all our many interpretations here.*

Did you not purchase a home with your partner of 30 yrs? No savings? And yet your mother allowed you to move in with you rent-free! Sounds like you should be extremely grateful for your 'narcisstic' mother.

Mercury is not well placed in your chart, very erratic & unstable energy.
Inability to discern the truth.

I feel sorry for your mother who has to deal with an angry daughter calling her derogatory names yet sponging off her at the same time.

Try to have more respect, more humility. Or move to a friend's place & don't speak to your mother again.

qimualaniq said:

So of course it cannot be expected to end well, but I'd like to look at it from an astrology perspective.My partner of 30 years died in January, I was looking at homelessness, I moved in with my mother. She told me she has improved as a person. She has not, and I now realize she is a narcissist.I am taking steps to learn about it, and learn about dealing with it. I don't have her birth info.


My dog was bit by the neighbor's dog, and is a bit traumatized by i t. Things are not starting off well. I moved from Las Vegas to northern California.







Please read my chart. Birth time is: February 3, 1959. 10:34 pm. Los angeles, CA.

Click to expand...

I'm so sorry - I have some personal experience with narcissists and hope very much that you are safe and have a good support system of friends and loved ones outside of your living environment.

I see you have your Moon in Capricorn at 0 degrees (extremely powerful energy) conjunct Saturn in Capricorn and your 3H which is often indicative of a mother wound. Quite often the mother is emotionally withholding, strict, and/or cold in an aspect like this, and she doesn't and could not give you what you needed growing up. It also shows that communicating with her (3H) would probably be quite difficult.

I also notice that transiting Pluto recently crossed your IC and and is now in your 4H of home/living circumstances, roots, and family (using Placidus houses as a default, but I'm happy to use any system). This could very much be related to your situation. Transiting Saturn is also on your natal Sun which can be very restricting and limiting, and transiting Mercury, which just entered Aquarius last night/today depending on your current location, is conjunct your natal Chiron indicating perhaps a lot of thinking about your early life wounding. Transiting Jupiter and the Sun are in your 5H right now, though, which should be uplifting and hopeful if you can harness that energy. Connect with your inner child, creativity, try to do something you really enjoy, 5H activities. I hope this is a little bit helpful and wish you all the best.

Elizabeth
[Deleted link to professional site. You may put that link in a signature, but not the body of a post. Just putting it at the end of your post does not make it a signature. - Moderator]

Samantha Bean said:

This is easily done but would require accurate birth times for both persons, probably posted privately by PM. And it has to be stated that no one should feel pressured to do this because pressuring is both a violation of the forum policy, and totally up to the OP.

Click to expand...

Yeah...I don't think they will, unless the OP done this privately with another person on this site. And how come I typed 2002 when clearly we're in 2022? Edit: And my link to Quora on bad parental/child relationships based on their natal chart synastry is gone.

qimualaniq said:

So of course it cannot be expected to end well, but I'd like to look at it from an astrology perspective. My partner of 30 years died in January, I was looking at homelessness, I moved in with my mother. She told me she has improved as a person. She has not, and I now realize she is a narcissist. I am taking steps to learn about it, and learn about dealing with it. I don't have her birth info.


My dog was bit by the neighbor's dog, and is a bit traumatized by i t. Things are not starting off well. I moved from Las Vegas to northern California.


Please read my chart. Birth time is: February 3, 1959. 10:34 pm. Los angeles, CA.

Click to expand...

A fellow Aquarius sun person (I happen to be one too conjunct moon), life can be hard for Feb Aquarians, esp the one born on my Feb 15th b-date 26 years before me in 1954: Matt Groening, the Simpsons creator had a dark, bitter and realistic humor.

Here's the news article on parent-child or family relationships in natal charts.
https://www.quora.com/Can-there-be-any-signs-of-a-bad-childhood-or-bad-parents-in-a-natal-chart

Maybe you'll find a direct or more answers, a narcissist person is inflicted with what many astrologers call "Virgo denial syndrome" or "the Virgin complex" in coming off too egoist, eccentric and only focuses on "me, myself and I" like the many Karens or Kens are entitled customers getting into verbal fights with store service staff and management, and is your mother displaying anything "Virgo" traits of narcissism to present herself a toxic person on top of the family tree.

Zora, you never cease to amaze me.

Qimualaniq, you still haven't told us exactly what qualifies your mother as a narcissist. Funny, you were born just a few days after me, in the same area.

Your mother, who was kind enough to rescue you, would refuse you her birth data? There's more to this picture than you're telling us.

Are you truly being objective and putting yourself in her shoes? It is frequently the self-protective reflex of people in dire straits to not extend more of themselves. It isn't narcissism, just self-preservation. Perhaps your mother has secrets of her own.

Perhaps it's all she can do to extend herself as much has she has, but you're not giving us much info. Given there are some truly gifted astrologers here, you're wasting a valuable opportunity.

Chrysopoeia Astrology said:

I'm so sorry - I have some personal experience with narcissists and hope very much that you are safe and have a good support system of friends and loved ones outside of your living environment.

I see you have your Moon in Capricorn at 0 degrees (extremely powerful energy) conjunct Saturn in Capricorn and your 3H which is often indicative of a mother wound. Quite often the mother is emotionally withholding, strict, and/or cold in an aspect like this, and she doesn't and could not give you what you needed growing up. It also shows that communicating with her (3H) would probably be quite difficult.

I also notice that transiting Pluto recently crossed your IC and and is now in your 4H of home/living circumstances, roots, and family (using Placidus houses as a default, but I'm happy to use any system). This could very much be related to your situation. Transiting Saturn is also on your natal Sun which can be very restricting and limiting, and transiting Mercury, which just entered Aquarius last night/today depending on your current location, is conjunct your natal Chiron indicating perhaps a lot of thinking about your early life wounding. Transiting Jupiter and the Sun are in your 5H right now, though, which should be uplifting and hopeful if you can harness that energy. Connect with your inner child, creativity, try to do something you really enjoy, 5H activities. I hope this is a little bit helpful and wish you all the best.

Elizabeth

Click to expand...

Thank you very much.

jac said:

Zora, you never cease to amaze me.

Qimualaniq, you still haven't told us exactly what qualifies your mother as a narcissist. Funny, you were born just a few days after me, in the same area.

Your mother, who was kind enough to rescue you, would refuse you her birth data? There's more to this picture than you're telling us.

Are you truly being objective and putting yourself in her shoes? It is frequently the self-protective reflex of people in dire straits to not extend more of themselves. It isn't narcissism, just self-preservation. Perhaps your mother has secrets of her own.

Perhaps it's all she can do to extend herself as much has she has, but you're not giving us much info. Given there are some truly gifted astrologers here, you're wasting a valuable opportunity.

Click to expand...

How much proof am I supposed to give? I am not going to ask her for her birth data. There was a bad family incident, years ago, over a stupid astrology quiz. it involved my sister and aunt arguing about my mother's qualities. Not going to go there.



Being already attacked here does not make me feel like being open about it.