My Marriage

Hello,

This is my last thread here. I would not ask any other question anymore here or any other astrological forum.

I was never into my marriage since the start of my childhood days. I never really thought that I need to get married. Hence I made myself too much independent and self-sufficient from the start. I tried to become so strong to make me feel that I don't need a man in life. I can do everything all alone.

I spent all my time believing this theory but one day I fell in love. I did not want to but love is involuntary, it happened. The first feeling I had for that man was to be his strength and if getting married is being together always, yes, I want to marry him, to protect him, to serve him the best I can. It's crazy how a man in this world, came from no where and changed my mind on which I was dwelling from past few decades.

I told him this and unfortunately, he told me he does not have any feelings for me. Broken hearted, yes. When I was not ready for love, it happened and when I started embracing love with open arms, it did not care. To this day, I love that man. To this day, marriage for me, means only him. More than him, my mind accepted his family to be mine and I made a deal with myself to care for them all till the last of the time.

Its been years I am struggling with it all. I tried to remove him and his feelings which he bought in my life and replace with someone else but I already knew it's not gonna happen and I realized how much badly I am struck in this situation. He is still in my life, we do talk sometimes. He is an amazing human, just amazing. Whenever I look at him, I feel more and more for him. My love for him is going towards the spiritual level for him.

I have accepted that he does not love me. Okay. But marriage for me still means him. I am unable to love again. My family has started looking for a guy and asking random people to search a suitable match for me. It's killing me every second to even think that I would end up with a random guy.

I know I must believe that everything happens for good and future would be much better than I already have; but I know this much about myself that I cannot fall in love again. I feel that the husband would only care because he is my husband, not because he loves me.

My family does not know anything about all this. Neither of any friend. I have no idea what should I do. I only know that what is happening now and in future, I am not happy about it. I believe in 2 years I would get engaged and possibly married. With some stranger.

My marriage? I don't want to get married. But I would have to. Strangely, the Indian astrologers have predicted that my husband is going to love me a lot and he would be an awesome person. If it's that so, then why all this happened?

If anyone here would like to tell me anything about my marriage or this situation, I am happy to read. Whatever it is, good or bad. Post this question, I don't have any further questions for anything else in my life.

Regards,
ScorpAsc5

Kindly please respond.

The main thing that caught my attention in your chart was that Neptune has somewhat recently transited your 5th house cusp. I don't know when you started having these intense feelings for this person, but this Neptune transit speaks volumes especially since you say you never even wanted to get married in the first place.

Neptune brings confusion to the houses it transits. Since it's transiting your house of romance, these feelings have been suddenly introduced to your life. Neptune is about illusion, and alters your perception.

You are in love but are caught up in self-deception which is what 5th house Neptune is all about. You see what you want to see, not what's actually there. You are loving this feeling of being in love, hopefully by the end of it you realize that you can love another and get married if it's right.

Also, the transiting neptune is about to conjunct your mars. This will be a time when going for a specific goal is not recommended. Go along for the ride and act on things that come your way, you'll have more success that way.

Also, with your Neptune transit trine to Pluto, it's it's an inner transition. Things you had trouble with can be dissolved mentally. You can deal with your inner emotions without resisting them. Neptune will encourage great change in your mind that will affect your physical world.

With Neptune also in trine with your Jupiter, it's best to go with the flow. It encourages you to let go of your boundaries (never wanting to get married/marrying the guy who doesn't love you). The things unseen can influence the seen with this transit.

On a personal note, my partner had a huge crush on me when we first met. I did not feel this way about him at all. Almost 10 years later of being best friends, I fell madly in love with him. Stuff happens. If you really love this guy, do the cliche thing and set him free. Sometimes these birds come back.

Thanks Abby for looking in.

The problem is illusion. I have an opposite illusion of reality, of everything it is made of. I thought I should let this my family know that I am going through something else than what they are thinking, but I am not sure.

Going with the flow means doing against what my heart wants to do. I honestly don't want to get married at all but I am so badly stuck in this situation.

I have too intense feelings for this guy, but not in a negative way. I don't force him to rethink about us. But I just know, if he would have considered me and would have given me even one chance, I would have died of happiness. That would be the ultimate happiness of my existence.

I hope I could love anyone else. So far I am unable. It's now a problem.

I know what is going to happen, soon my family would search a guy for me and I will get married to him, living it up and thinking I could have lived a better life than living this cage. Its so ruined up.

Any other inputs?

Thanks!

Most people here are in the west (probably the US and UK) so arranged marriages are very foreign to us...I actually see a lot of good stuff with relationships in your chart, the problem seems to be you...seems like you can be overly controlling and possibly overwhelming for people. You will need to learn to let things go and be more sensitive to what others want.

Hello Retinoid,

I myself is living in US from 2 years. I know arranged marriages are a alien concept in west.

Would you like to share what good stuff you saw regarding my relationships in my chart?

I do try to give others the best when they ask me anything. I never knew I am the biggest problem of my own life.

Best,
Scorp