Harsh Saturn aspects and lots of Scorpio influence: how do you handle this?

Saturn is in Aries (fall) plus I only have it aspecting my personaly planets harshly (oppositions, specifically) the only positive one I have is Saturn trine North Node leo. I heard Sun opposite Saturn and Venus opposite saturn are placements that makes the chart holder insecure, harbor negative emotions and pessimism, which I found to be very true about myself. I'm really really insecure, have low-self esteem and is just hard on myself as well. I also have Cap asc, which adds the seriousness to my personality. My life so far is just... disappointing and the events that happened makes me reslly sad.

I have Jupiter sextiling my ascendant, which aids me in thinking the good side of life and just be optimistic, but it takes effort and I naturally slip back into the depressing side of me. It's been a struggle juggling between that axis, really. Trying so hard to optimistic even when I'm close to crying and thinking of suicide attempts. Soemtimes, The sadness comes out of nowhere and then next thing I know is that I'm crying at 11 pm even though my life is quite neutral now.

Self-love is also something I'm really struggling to attain. I just find it extremely hard to love myself. At times I do but its very short-lived. People have never really paid attention to my positive traits or complimented anything about me in general so I just assumed I'm just someone not so likable or something. I'm often secretly jealous at people who gain friends so easily and attract admirers so effortlessly. I think i emotionally drain ppl as well, so i've been doing nothing but sharing my feelings and thoughts that have ruined me.

I'm a triple scorpio (sun,venus, mercury). Mars in the 8th house, pluto aspects my mars, moon, sun and venus, but some are just minor. Definitely adds some flavor to it though. I find myself to be really passionate and intense. I have strong likes and dislikes. I have the tendency to be obssessive of things and people, have a hard tie letting go as well. Tbh, I also have a very high sex drive and so far I've only been using that intense energy on soemthing else. (i'm still a virgin depsite being horny lol)

I use it on being ambitious and hardwork. (Also because I'm a cap asc) I dream big and I have a lot of determination stocked up inside of me waiting to ve unleashed. I plan to use all of these traits once I have the freedom to pursue my dream career.

But other than that, I can't seem to control my intensity. People are often very repulsed by this. A few might have appreciated it but never really stayed around to fully admire it. I also find depth in everything so i'm not usually very involved with most people (bc I find most of them to be shallow nowadays) these intense emotions can sometimes overwhelm me and my pessimism in life. I'm mixing my saturn and plutonic influences here and I just have no idea how to handle these energies and how to get rid of those really toxic emotions that may put me into danger.

Do you guys relate? Do you have some experiences? Thought? Any advice?

Hi!

I feel identified with you .. I am Scorpio (sun, venus, mercury, pluto) and ascending Cap with Saturn, Uranus and Neptune in Cap. My natal chart dominates pluton and saturn and I do not know how to handle these energies, although ... in general my life goes very well I have problems of insecurity and pessimism inside of me .. I always see the negative and many times fear does not let me act. It is a shame because we have many conditions and determination to achieve what we propose.

Anyway Pluto is transiting Capricorn, next year I would be doing conjunction with my ASC so that are going to come great changes, in addition to my return Saturn .. It may be here the moment where life puts us situations that force us To change our way of being, to think and to show us.

We will be great, mate!


PD: Upload your natal chart please

Scorpio90 said:

Hi!

I feel identified with you .. I am Scorpio (sun, venus, mercury, pluto) and ascending Cap with Saturn, Uranus and Neptune in Cap. My natal chart dominates pluton and saturn and I do not know how to handle these energies, although ... in general my life goes very well I have problems of insecurity and pessimism inside of me .. I always see the negative and many times fear does not let me act. It is a shame because we have many conditions and determination to achieve what we propose.

Anyway Pluto is transiting Capricorn, next year I would be doing conjunction with my ASC so that are going to come great changes, in addition to my return Saturn .. It may be here the moment where life puts us situations that force us To change our way of being, to think and to show us.

We will be great, mate!


PD: Upload your natal chart please

Click to expand...

http://imgur.com/a/6vLtT

I'm not sure but I think I also have Pluto transiting my ascendant this year. Currently, I have saturn transiting my 12th house so there's been a lot of disappointment, insecurity issues that have been brought up again, some fears and depressing stuff that Icould think of. Plus, this is still effective once Saturn is still transiting there, I'm anxious about this hahaha Idk. For some people, the pluto transit made them better and handled it better, probably the aspects they have on their chart. I just I don't get carried away too much with pessimism once Pluto hits my first house too.

I can certainly relate. And my life has been a real struggle and still is. It's exhausting.. But there are things I've had to learn how to counteract, overcome the difficulties of a Scorpio Stelium. I have sun, ascendant, venus, mercury, neptune, south node all scorpio. (and it gets worst)
I'm a very intense, and the only one that really gets me is my Scorpio son.
But what i've learned to do to balance out is Meditation.
as well as being Scorpio, salt water is very cleansing and balancing.
Once you learn to accept these qualities you possess , you will find peace with yourself to some degree.
Wearing a stone or crystal around your neck . A dark crystal like Onyx or Black Obsidian, will help protect you from energies that you may pick up easily from others. will also help ground you.
Another great crystal I found helpful is Rhodonite. (pink and Black). will help you in creative expression and grounding .
I write and play music to get the stuff out of me through my emotions. Hence my songs can be quite meloncholy and strange..
But if you can find a positive outlet , you'll start to feelin the healing.
A great Meditation healing site is called insight timer. it's amazing .. It will truly shift and balance. .. All the best my Scorpio friend.. Love and light
Im off to meditate with the 7 colour rays.. Saturns giving me grief at the moment.. argh..

Looking at your chart you have a square with sun venus uranus saturn and your moon. It implies a lot of energy working on your ten first and fourth house, and is expresed by fixed energy (scorpio, aquarius and aries-not fixed-). The things that represent each house will be an "obstacle" that you will have to afront in order to develop the best way to use that "energy". This kind of "obstacles" can be an consistent experiences in diferent areas of your life like for example the career "ten house, public image", self "first house" and family or roots "fourth house". Because this t square is composed by stressfull aspects, you may experience it like a constant problem in your back that will take shape with some air of familiarity because it repeats again and again. Until you can fix it.

I can trully relate. I have sun mercury, mars and pluto in scorpion three of them in a thight square with saturn in aquarius. And I´m too a capricorn ascendant with a sun in the tenth house. -That´s another thing the saturn energy teach you via painfull limits or castration.- And again, I trully relate. Like you I am an ambiciuos person that wants to make a great career in my area in order to prove myself and make regret all the people that once hurt me so badly. But, I am an spiteful person that wants revenge but don´t have the tools yet. I´m working on that.

I know you´re a courageus woman despite of all kind of problems that you have experienced. That´s what I think make the people strong and you have all the potential. Off course when you have a strong scorpio energy it can go in both ways, but what I´m trying to do is acept myself the way I am and make that energy work in my favor. The people can see you as a tortous person and may feel you as a heavy woman with an obssesive mind and will try to scape -I know because i have felt it too-, but **** that, you are the way that you are, make it work in your way.

It may sound harsh but you can´t scape the way that you are. Nobody says it is easy, and because you have to feel pain in orden to die and reborn -the scorpio myth- all that kind of situations and feelings related will make you a great person. Ït indeed sometimes sound like and endless cliche but you´re living that, you´re the owner of your own pain and the only one that can transmute it. And then when you apreciate the way as you are and learn how to use that "energy" you will changes all the aspects of your life that make you suffer.

Hope it helps. I´m just an random person that feel the same way and hope grow as a person, and hope you too. Cheers.

Fata morgana said:

Looking at your chart you have a square with sun venus uranus saturn and your moon. It implies a lot of energy working on your ten first and fourth house, and is expresed by fixed energy (scorpio, aquarius and aries-not fixed-). The things that represent each house will be an "obstacle" that you will have to afront in order to develop the best way to use that "energy". This kind of "obstacles" can be an consistent experiences in diferent areas of your life like for example the career "ten house, public image", self "first house" and family or roots "fourth house". Because this t square is composed by stressfull aspects, you may experience it like a constant problem in your back that will take shape with some air of familiarity because it repeats again and again. Until you can fix it.

I can trully relate. I have sun mercury, mars and pluto in scorpion three of them in a thight square with saturn in aquarius. And I´m too a capricorn ascendant with a sun in the tenth house. -That´s another thing the saturn energy teach you via painfull limits or castration.- And again, I trully relate. Like you I am an ambiciuos person that wants to make a great career in my area in order to prove myself and make regret all the people that once hurt me so badly. But, I am an spiteful person that wants revenge but don´t have the tools yet. I´m working on that.

I know you´re a courageus woman despite of all kind of problems that you have experienced. That´s what I think make the people strong and you have all the potential. Off course when you have a strong scorpio energy it can go in both ways, but what I´m trying to do is acept myself the way I am and make that energy work in my favor. The people can see you as a tortous person and may feel you as a heavy woman with an obssesive mind and will try to scape -I know because i have felt it too-, but **** that, you are the way that you are, make it work in your way.

It may sound harsh but you can´t scape the way that you are. Nobody says it is easy, and because you have to feel pain in orden to die and reborn -the scorpio myth- all that kind of situations and feelings related will make you a great person. Ït indeed sometimes sound like and endless cliche but you´re living that, you´re the owner of your own pain and the only one that can transmute it. And then when you apreciate the way as you are and learn how to use that "energy" you will changes all the aspects of your life that make you suffer.

Hope it helps. I´m just an random person that feel the same way and hope grow as a person, and hope you too. Cheers.

Click to expand...

The t-square thing makes sense. I'm always constantly worried about my future career, I feel like my sense of self is always a blur (neptune 1st house) and I'm always confused about myself and what I want, and the family thing is true as well. I'm the eldest daughter in the family therefore I will be the future breadwinner and so the pressure is on me. Families and relatives really have high expectation of me and I don't know why (even I do, but for different reasons) so they expect me to finish a med field in college and be like my mom or something when in fact, I don't. I have my own dreams and ambitions and I've always dreamed for a different life.

I really don't wanna follow their footsteps and make my own. However, because they're my parents, I have to obey them. I feel like I'm just delaying my plans for my real dream career and my other friends have it easier i get jealous. Because of this, I failed in my first attempt in the med field. Then I went back to 1st yr college to pursue Nursing now.

Most of the times I really feel out of place out there. No matter what school, which environment, or whatever group I may be in, I just feel like I'm out of place. I tend to get swayed by people and i get easily influenced, as a result, I can't form my own solid identity and I can't distinguish myself too.

But what you said really touched me I nearly teared up. I don't think anyone I KNOW will ever know how I feel or understand it, and its more preferable to sometimes be my own backbone instead. Its really hard, I get so depressed about it but the only thing thats stopping me from quitting life is that I know I have a dream and I want it so badly. So thank you for that. I feel empowered