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  #1  
Unread 03-22-2018, 02:24 AM
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I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

I'll post my chart, but I know the most obvious issues are my Venus squares to mars and my moon. Venus in Gemini trining my Libra Jupiter I would assume is a good relational aspect, but those squares...

What I can say is that I have a whole mess of issues involving love and relationships. I think my boundaries aren't solid and I can be very capricious in getting to know people, perhaps a little naive and careless. I don't mean that I have bad intentions, but I mean that I 'fall in love too easily' so to speak. I get excited about people who are interesting and fascinating or intense, people I can explore with, people who show me something new. I fall into states of false love, like instahoneymooning. At first, nothing is too serious for me, but in an instant, at some point I'll become attached while the other person is in a more balanced state of building attraction. Then I start to get obsessive and spiteful. That's the gist of it. Admitting I become obsessive is hard for me to do, but I do become obsessive at this point typically. I start getting jealous if they show attention to anyone else or don't show enough to me,...and I can have a very vicious tongue too. I know what to say to hurt people. Once I do that, I've ruined it completely as I've basically made people feel comfortable trusting me and getting close to me, then turned on them. And I don't mean to do that either. My intentions are always benevolent. I love people, but at some point things just turn. I'll become paranoid too and I really do hate that about myself

The only cure I can think of is to try and stave off those feelings of 'falling in love' too fast. I have a woman I'm talking to right now and unlike other times I've 'talked' with women, this time I was very straightforward. I told her that I knew if we started going in a sexual direction or if we started flirting too much, I'd eventually become too attached and ruin everything, become poisonous and vicious. I want to build a stable relationship if it's to happen with anyone and I'm just trying to learn how to do that

I enjoy flirting, I love being playful, I love kissing, I love sex. I love it all. I deeply desire a real, intimate connection with someone. I don't do superficiality so I think that may be one part of the issue. I become instantly intimately connected even before knowing the person enough to be so connected if something about them piques my interest. Idk if that makes sense. When getting to know people, I have a way of digging to the depths, sharing a lot about myself and making people feel comfortable opening up to me, and when that happens is when I start getting attached. In other words, I'm thinking perhaps I take all of what I know about them, amplify it, and perhaps idealize them or imagine I know them more than I really do

I have trouble trusting people on some level too so at first, I won't let myself get too attached despite deep conversation, but once I feel like I can trust them, it's all in and no looking back

It's like there's an on/off switch and I'll just go from off to on when that's not how it's supposed to work

I'm wondering if there are things beyond the obvious that I'm not seeing in my chart that may lead to relationship issues and possibly how I can work on these things. I don't think I've ever had a truly healthy relationship. Even with friendships I have similar issues where at first I don't feel so attached whatsoever, but the switch turns on and I become attached to the degree I become jealous if they show more attention to others, even if I haven't known them as long and I don't know why this is because it makes absolutely no sense

I also have an issue on the note of that on/off switch where at some point in getting to know someone, I'll either become too attached, or not attached at all
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Last edited by Lykanized; 03-22-2018 at 02:32 AM.
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Unread 03-22-2018, 02:25 AM
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

I feel like a damned Fiona Apple album. I need halp
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Unread 03-22-2018, 02:30 AM
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

Maybe I need to build a boundary because as playful and flirtatious as I can be, I'm still not the kinda person who is satisfied with superficial relationships. I suppose what happens is I cross the invisible boundary and because I can't do superficial, playful flirtation for too long before either becoming attached, or completely detached, something triggers within me

That's the other side of it. At some point, I'll either become too attached, or too detached from people. But it's rarely stable
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Unread 03-22-2018, 02:34 AM
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

Same, I get way too clingy.

Iím trying to learn how to control it.

I normally do so by blocking people...so that I am not able to contact them for a couple days. Lol I save them from me.
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Unread 03-22-2018, 02:43 AM
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

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Originally Posted by ConfusedCrab View Post
Same, I get way too clingy.

Iím trying to learn how to control it.

I normally do so by blocking people...so that I am not able to contact them for a couple days. Lol I save them from me.
I just want to learn to be balanced. I'm either too attached, or not attached at all. And all of this occurs at the beginning stages. It's not stable the way it should be. I know some of this results from my Venus squares and probably that ugly side of Pluto

I could block someone, but then I'm still acting out on emotions I'm feeling for reasons that I shouldn't and I need a way to solve that because it doesn't just go away. I may risk having issues throughout a whole relationship while just putting bandaids on it throughout
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Unread 03-22-2018, 02:46 AM
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

I do know that part of the issue is selfesteem as of course, with me, everything goes down to selfesteem. But that isn't the whole issue. I also view myself as inherently flawed socially and maybe I need to change that view
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Unread 03-22-2018, 02:50 AM
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I just want to learn to be balanced. I'm either too attached, or not attached at all. And all of this occurs at the beginning stages. It's not stable the way it should be. I know some of this results from my Venus squares and probably that ugly side of Pluto

I could block someone, but then I'm still acting out on emotions I'm feeling for reasons that I shouldn't and I need a way to solve that because it doesn't just go away. I may risk having issues throughout a whole relationship while just putting bandaids on it throughout
Do you have venus square Pluto also?

Itís a pretty lame aspect 😞

Normally I would think by being with someone over time this would subside? Does it get worse? Is it out of insecurity? What causes it?
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Unread 03-22-2018, 03:00 AM
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

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Do you have venus square Pluto also?

Itís a pretty lame aspect 😞

Normally I would think by being with someone over time this would subside? Does it get worse? Is it out of insecurity? What causes it?
Thankfully no. But I have Pluto aspecting almost everything in my chart and added to Virgo moon, that's probably a recipe for neurosis and overthinking lol

I don't think it gets worse so much as it just doesn't go away. I hate it. And I can't quite pinpoint exactly why it is. Maybe I do need to gain more selfesteem. that's why I've also made a decision to stay away from sex and relationships in general and focus on myself, my life, what I want and who I am, loving myself

There's another aspect of this issue where I may start comparing myself to the other person. Even if it's someone I love. That's gotten a lot better as I've gotten older and started gaining selflove, so perhaps I need to take a break and work on my self love even more to heal these issues. I'll compare myself in my appearance, socially(since I feel socially inept), and intelligence etc.. I'll start getting competitive, except in a passive aggressive way, in a way that silently sours everything

I know I sound terrible, but we all have a terrible side and I'm being honest so I can perhaps find ways to heal these issues. I want love and intimacy, but I know I don't even deserve it from someone until I learn to treat them as they deserve. As they say, you can't love someone else until you love yourself

I still think this is a pretty complex issue, but I'll say too that selfesteem is one of the harshest issues I've had throughout my life that branches out like a plague and my 20s have been spent healing this, but i have a lot of work to do
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Unread 03-22-2018, 03:03 AM
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

Interesting thread

Iím dealing with the same issue and I think what makes it more difficult for me is the lack of company/affection. I havenít been seriously involved with anyone in awhile now, so the moment I receive the smallest amount of attention and interests, all these emotions come up and Iím going in for the kill.
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Unread 03-22-2018, 03:03 AM
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

I also sometimes give myself too easily. So for the past couple of years, I've been contemplating where to draw the line. I don't know where. I'll give so much of myself because I genuinely desire to, but then later on start feeling bad if it seems the other person isn't willing to give that of themselves to me. However, if I become focused on things being fair, that's petty and doesn't solve anything. There's something else beneath it all
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Unread 03-22-2018, 03:08 AM
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

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Interesting thread

I’m dealing with the same issue and I think what makes it more difficult for me is the lack of company/affection. I haven’t been seriously involved with anyone in awhile now, so the moment I receive the smallest amount of attention and interests, all these emotions come up and I’m going in for the kill.
For me, I think because of these issues and other issues I have, I end up pushing people away. I'm very all or nothing but I'm also an extreme introvert. So I'll find people who I have a genuine connection with, one I cherish, but for some reason, I end up ignoring them for possibly weeks on end. I hate that too. I'm such a mess. So I do feel lonely most of the time as I lack the intimacy I desire, but then I also don't put in the effort to fostering it

But for me, it's still mainly about becoming too enthralled with someone who I genuinely like. Or at least that's the start of it
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  #12  
Unread 03-22-2018, 03:26 AM
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Thankfully no. But I have Pluto aspecting almost everything in my chart and added to Virgo moon, that's probably a recipe for neurosis and overthinking lol

I don't think it gets worse so much as it just doesn't go away. I hate it. And I can't quite pinpoint exactly why it is. Maybe I do need to gain more selfesteem. that's why I've also made a decision to stay away from sex and relationships in general and focus on myself, my life, what I want and who I am, loving myself

There's another aspect of this issue where I may start comparing myself to the other person. Even if it's someone I love. That's gotten a lot better as I've gotten older and started gaining selflove, so perhaps I need to take a break and work on my self love even more to heal these issues. I'll compare myself in my appearance, socially(since I feel socially inept), and intelligence etc.. I'll start getting competitive, except in a passive aggressive way, in a way that silently sours everything

I know I sound terrible, but we all have a terrible side and I'm being honest so I can perhaps find ways to heal these issues. I want love and intimacy, but I know I don't even deserve it from someone until I learn to treat them as they deserve. As they say, you can't love someone else until you love yourself

I still think this is a pretty complex issue, but I'll say too that selfesteem is one of the harshest issues I've had throughout my life that branches out like a plague and my 20s have been spent healing this, but i have a lot of work to do
THIS!

I do believe self-esteem plays a major part in my issues. I have a Leo sun and other Leo placements so receiving/giving that attention and warmth is VERY important but I get so caught up in it. Like you, Iím trying to gain more self-love and not care about the approval of others and really be about it, not pretend that I donít care.

As a Scorpio rising, sex is also very important to me. Iíve experimented enough to know now that sex is too potent and I could never just engage in casual sex. Iíve tried fwb and that backfired so badly. I canít separate love and sex so if itís not in a grounded relationship I wonít go there.
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Unread 03-22-2018, 05:06 AM
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

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THIS!

I do believe self-esteem plays a major part in my issues. I have a Leo sun and other Leo placements so receiving/giving that attention and warmth is VERY important but I get so caught up in it. Like you, I’m trying to gain more self-love and not care about the approval of others and really be about it, not pretend that I don’t care.

As a Scorpio rising, sex is also very important to me. I’ve experimented enough to know now that sex is too potent and I could never just engage in casual sex. I’ve tried fwb and that backfired so badly. I can’t separate love and sex so if it’s not in a grounded relationship I won’t go there.
I have no Leo placements, but I have Leo at a very sensitive spot, in the 12th house. I suppose maybe that's manifested for me as being less conscious of my need for approval and actually rejecting subsconsciously the need throughout my life. And I think I'm always overanalyzing the genuineness of my words and actions. I hate attention, but that's because of my insecurities and I think feeling an inability to get approval from others

And I relate to you on the sex part. I'm very sexual as well as freedomloving and experimental, and I've done my sexual experimentation, but I've realized that what I really need is someone I really love who I can experiment with. I think I actually originally tried the casual sex thing bc I felt like I had to to be normal. It's so stupid. I can't just accept who and how I am. For me, sex is special and way too potent like you said that I can't do casual and if I try, it ultimately gets messy. I'm very proud of myself for drawing that boundary with this woman I'm talking to right now. I know some people can do it, but some people can't and I think for people like us, if we really care about people, we will have that boundary in place

Shamefully, I think a part of me bases who I should be on what the collective values yet I also have an inability to match up this collective ideal. That's part of what I'm doing right now too. I'm learning to value myself no matter how different I am from the collective ideal and chase what makes me happy, what makes me satisfied with myself. Like I don't feel I'm where I should be or want to be with my personal goals which makes me generally feel lacking. I keep imagining how I'd feel if I was further on my path with my personal goals and desires and I think I would be a lot healthier in my relationships as I'd have this base of selflove already built. Otherwise there's the risk of looking for too much selflove by someone else's love for us

Discussing this is really helping me a lot. What's your chart like? Do you have any Venus squares too? There's a lot of hope with squares. There's intensity and discord, but a lot of potential to grow and make these planets work. In any case, I'm glad you've resonated too and maybe it's helping you too. We all have strengths and weaknesses and we just have to find these weaknesses and turn them into strengths
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Unread 03-22-2018, 06:13 AM
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I have no Leo placements, but I have Leo at a very sensitive spot, in the 12th house. I suppose maybe that's manifested for me as being less conscious of my need for approval and actually rejecting subsconsciously the need throughout my life. And I think I'm always overanalyzing the genuineness of my words and actions. I hate attention, but that's because of my insecurities and I think feeling an inability to get approval from others

And I relate to you on the sex part. I'm very sexual as well as freedomloving and experimental, and I've done my sexual experimentation, but I've realized that what I really need is someone I really love who I can experiment with. I think I actually originally tried the casual sex thing bc I felt like I had to to be normal. It's so stupid. I can't just accept who and how I am. For me, sex is special and way too potent like you said that I can't do casual and if I try, it ultimately gets messy. I'm very proud of myself for drawing that boundary with this woman I'm talking to right now. I know some people can do it, but some people can't and I think for people like us, if we really care about people, we will have that boundary in place

Shamefully, I think a part of me bases who I should be on what the collective values yet I also have an inability to match up this collective ideal. That's part of what I'm doing right now too. I'm learning to value myself no matter how different I am from the collective ideal and chase what makes me happy, what makes me satisfied with myself. Like I don't feel I'm where I should be or want to be with my personal goals which makes me generally feel lacking. I keep imagining how I'd feel if I was further on my path with my personal goals and desires and I think I would be a lot healthier in my relationships as I'd have this base of selflove already built. Otherwise there's the risk of looking for too much selflove by someone else's love for us

Discussing this is really helping me a lot. What's your chart like? Do you have any Venus squares too? There's a lot of hope with squares. There's intensity and discord, but a lot of potential to grow and make these planets work. In any case, I'm glad you've resonated too and maybe it's helping you too. We all have strengths and weaknesses and we just have to find these weaknesses and turn them into strengths
No Venus squares, only conjunctions; Sun, Merc, and Jup. My love life should be booming right? Lol. In my teens it was pretty active but now that Iím in my 20ís and know myself better, I learned my love nature is serious/intense but it doesnít match how dating is today, which made me feel needy. I felt like I had to hide the fact that I wanted a relationship in fear that someone would use that against me and play games. I always warn Iím not one to be played with, scaring them away afterwards LOL.

I guess it all comes back to self-love and appreciating my own company. I told myself a relationship should be added happiness, not the only thing.

This thread has been really helpful and itís comforting to know that Iím not the only one dealing with the same issue. I read your post at least 3 times because you basically wrote my inner thoughts/feelings.
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Unread 03-22-2018, 09:02 AM
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

Lykanized posted:
"I have no Leo placements, but I have Leo at a very sensitive spot, in the 12th house. I suppose maybe that's manifested for me as being less conscious of my need for approval and actually rejecting subsconsciously the need throughout my life. And I think I'm always overanalyzing the genuineness of my words and actions. I hate attention, but that's because of my insecurities and I think feeling an inability to get approval from others"




This sounds like a perfect description of the Chiron in Leo placement in your 12th. And it is harshly emphasized by triggering the Saturn/Pluto square. 'Serious aversion to attention/limelight'

It has the potential of being the primal source of a deep creative portal that can be tapped when you are 'in the zone' and connecting to the collective unconscious soul
self.

Last edited by katydid; 03-22-2018 at 09:36 AM.
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Unread 03-22-2018, 09:14 AM
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

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No Venus squares, only conjunctions; Sun, Merc, and Jup. My love life should be booming right? Lol. In my teens it was pretty active but now that I’m in my 20’s and know myself better, I learned my love nature is serious/intense but it doesn’t match how dating is today, which made me feel needy. I felt like I had to hide the fact that I wanted a relationship in fear that someone would use that against me and play games. I always warn I’m not one to be played with, scaring them away afterwards LOL.

I guess it all comes back to self-love and appreciating my own company. I told myself a relationship should be added happiness, not the only thing.

This thread has been really helpful and it’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one dealing with the same issue. I read your post at least 3 times because you basically wrote my inner thoughts/feelings.
I am really enjoying your informative posts because I am trying to learn more about young male Leo energy.

My daughter, born in the spring of 92, feels as though she has finally met her perfect match. He is a Leo, also born in 92.

He has the Sun, Mercury and Chiron in Leo. And he seems like a very good partner for her. But they are considering marriage and family so I really want to understand him and what drives him, motivates him.


What you described above is so spot on with what he has described about his past feelings.

Leo boyfriend had one long term relationship from about 19 to 22. But for past 4 years has been single by choice and didn't date, for same reasons you described. He takes 'love' seriously and he is not a tinder/hook up type of guy.

He hates 'game playing' and is somewhat serious, although also fun and light hearted, in a 'royal' way.

I thought it was interesting to see the similarity there.

My daughter has her Moon in Aquarius opposing his Leo stuff---so I think that is a good balance for them both.

Last edited by katydid; 03-22-2018 at 09:37 AM.
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Unread 03-22-2018, 08:24 PM
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I am really enjoying your informative posts because I am trying to learn more about young male Leo energy.

My daughter, born in the spring of 92, feels as though she has finally met her perfect match. He is a Leo, also born in 92.

He has the Sun, Mercury and Chiron in Leo. And he seems like a very good partner for her. But they are considering marriage and family so I really want to understand him and what drives him, motivates him.


What you described above is so spot on with what he has described about his past feelings.

Leo boyfriend had one long term relationship from about 19 to 22. But for past 4 years has been single by choice and didn't date, for same reasons you described. He takes 'love' seriously and he is not a tinder/hook up type of guy.

He hates 'game playing' and is somewhat serious, although also fun and light hearted, in a 'royal' way.

I thought it was interesting to see the similarity there.

My daughter has her Moon in Aquarius opposing his Leo stuff---so I think that is a good balance for them both.
Glad my posts have been helpful!

I also have my Moon in Aquarius, tightly conjunct Saturn. Such a heavy aspect. I think it pulls me towards things with depth and realness, which is why I canít do casual for long.

I like how you said fun and lighthearted in a Ďroyalí way. So me Lol.

Last edited by druex; 03-22-2018 at 08:26 PM.
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Unread 03-23-2018, 01:50 AM
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

Are you a guy or a woman? Typically, Moon square Venus is harder for a man than it would be for a woman. A man with such a placement would be constantly torn between two very different types of women.
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Unread 03-23-2018, 01:55 AM
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Are you a guy or a woman? Typically, Moon square Venus is harder for a man than it would be for a woman. A man with such a placement would be constantly torn between two very different types of women.
No, but I am a lesbian and I can tell you I am torn between very different types of women... Dominant type women who are intense and adventurous, and women who are more peaceful and balanced and domesticated. I've dated both. I was too much for the latter and tho she was adventurous, she wasn't very intense or a risktaker. The former... we were like a wildfire and there was no putting us out
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Unread 03-23-2018, 02:04 AM
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Lykanized posted:
"I have no Leo placements, but I have Leo at a very sensitive spot, in the 12th house. I suppose maybe that's manifested for me as being less conscious of my need for approval and actually rejecting subsconsciously the need throughout my life. And I think I'm always overanalyzing the genuineness of my words and actions. I hate attention, but that's because of my insecurities and I think feeling an inability to get approval from others"




This sounds like a perfect description of the Chiron in Leo placement in your 12th. And it is harshly emphasized by triggering the Saturn/Pluto square. 'Serious aversion to attention/limelight'

It has the potential of being the primal source of a deep creative portal that can be tapped when you are 'in the zone' and connecting to the collective unconscious soul
self.
I've experienced that... something deeply spiritual resulting in intense creative outpour. Music is often my portal to this dimension and I see it as a gateway to truth and ultimate creativity. It's very raw and spiritual, very primal, like the state of wordlessness where all is felt in purity. I'm a very very creative person, but I also feel a lot of hindrences in reaching those points of free expression and I know it relates to anxiety about myself and my abilities. Does that sound like Leo Chiron 12th house? For me, those states are the ultinate drug and I've noted before I'm an aspiring writer, so I have to get through that to become what I feel I'm meant to be

If so, what is the way to defeat this wound, just what I've been talking about, selfesteem and acting despite these harsh feelings of not being good enough?
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Unread 03-23-2018, 05:48 AM
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

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Originally Posted by Lykanized View Post
I've experienced that... something deeply spiritual resulting in intense creative outpour. Music is often my portal to this dimension and I see it as a gateway to truth and ultimate creativity. It's very raw and spiritual, very primal, like the state of wordlessness where all is felt in purity. I'm a very very creative person, but I also feel a lot of hindrences in reaching those points of free expression and I know it relates to anxiety about myself and my abilities. Does that sound like Leo Chiron 12th house? For me, those states are the ultinate drug and I've noted before I'm an aspiring writer, so I have to get through that to become what I feel I'm meant to be

If so, what is the way to defeat this wound, just what I've been talking about, selfesteem and acting despite these harsh feelings of not being good enough?
Yes, you are on the right track with building up self esteem and inner strength.

Yu cannot 'defeat' this wound. You need to heal the wound, stop the pain and prevent it from getting worse.


Chiron=in 12th:

Natal Chiron in the 12th house of a natal chart is a rather difficult placement, as the asteroid operates directly in oneís subconscious and unconscious mind. The 12th house is known to be the Achilleís foot of the natal chart and is connected with self-undoing. In addition, as the 12th house is connected with our fears, Chiron tends to induce phobias that sometimes are difficult to get rid of.

The twelfth house is the ocean of our dreams, the deepest layers of our consciousness. It is there where our traumas and fears hide, and also our secret enemies. The house is ruled by Neptune and Pisces. That is why there also lay our inspiration and our chord that connects us with the collective subconscious. From here we can download information in our mind connected with art, and thatís why the 12th house is also the realm of psychology.

Chiron in the 12th house shows unresolved traumas that possibly come from previous lives. Some astrologer schools claim that the 12th house is ruling the period before oneís birth, while he is an embryo in his motherís womb. No matter if this is true or not, we should understand that the 12th house also roughly rules the last two hours before birth. It is because, during that time, the sign that occupies the 12th house was rising from the horizon and thus in conjunction with the nativeís Ascendant (which is, of course, his physical body).

With Chiron in the 12th house, there probably were physical pain and difficulties during the labor. Even before exiting the motherís womb, the young native felt some bad feeling. Depending on the signs or other planets present, the type of pain might differ.

...Copyright (©) https://theastrocodex.com - Read more at https://theastrocodex.com/chiron-in-the-12th-house/



This part is very fascinating as well:


A 12th House Chiron person should be very careful concerning his tendency to feel guilty without being wrong. Chiron in this house is urging the person to take responsibility for all the worldís troubles. The 12th house is making him a sponge that can absorb negative feelings from others, and so he might be easily feeling guilty for all the bad things that can happen around him.


If you have this placement, be careful to not fall into the trap of taking all things on your shoulders. This will distort you from your real task, which is to take the responsibility for the things that you indeed need to.


Also, such a native must fight against his tendency to surrender or to feel that he is predestined to fail. Such type of thinking can empower even more the series of events and lead to the manifestation of failures.

A 12th house person must find ways to increase his self-esteem, and this can even easily be done through auto-suggestion. Of course, when Chiron has hard aspects and the nativeís life has manifested dramatic events, then some help from a psychologist might be advised. Such a person might be afraid to look deeper into himself, to explore his own mind and ideas, and confront his borders.


. A 12th house Chiron person can become a wonderful psychologist for other people though. In case he battles his fear of exploring himself, he can understand the structure of the mechanisms of healing and use them in order to heal other people with hurt subconscious. Yet, it always remains more difficult to heal yourself, than to heal others.

...Copyright (©) https://theastrocodex.com - Read more at https://theastrocodex.com/chiron-in-the-12th-house/
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Lykanized (03-24-2018)
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

IMO a lot of what you described in your opening post sounds like symptoms that result from an imbalance with Cancer. If I were you, I'd take a really good look at the opposition from Mercury to the 5th house Uranus Neptune conjunction in Cap. All those planets are retrograde...

Opposition sneak up on you when you don't expect it and it's challenging to "work" on them.

5th house is ruled by Saturn in the 6th Aquarius... It is retrograde also...

ETA: sorry if this has been mentioned already. I didn't read the replies.
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

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Originally Posted by StillOne View Post
IMO a lot of what you described in your opening post sounds like symptoms that result from an imbalance with Cancer. If I were you, I'd take a really good look at the opposition from Mercury to the 5th house Uranus Neptune conjunction in Cap. All those planets are retrograde...

Opposition sneak up on you when you don't expect it and it's challenging to "work" on them.

5th house is ruled by Saturn in the 6th Aquarius... It is retrograde also...

ETA: sorry if this has been mentioned already. I didn't read the replies.
None of this has been mentioned yet and it's interesting to me...I was also recently on another thread that mentioned power of planets that have few or no contacts to other planets, like my Saturn. Its only planetary contact is the square to my Pluto, but idk if that's significant. I'm more interested in the fact Saturn rules my 5th house and it opposes my Sun. I know that house rules creativity, procreation, and I think sex/relationships too, though I think the latter is shared with another house if I'm not mistaken

Not to mention, I know the 5th house is ruled by Leo and Leo is of course in my 12th house with my Chiron

Does this mean I have to find a balance between my moon-Cancer side and my Saturn-Cap side? I'm really confused. There are so many areas in my chart it seems things could go wrong lovewise and friendshipwise

Like my Sun and Mercury are both in the Aquarian 11th house of community, but there seems to be a lot of blockages to actually connecting with the community

Somewhere along the line, I feel my destiny is to overcome these challenges, but of course, we all have our challenges and I know no one can tell me how to go about my journey, but I appreciate all the insight,

Interestingly, I've said I'm a very creative person, and I am. It's something most people would say about me too, people who know me. But there's a blockage in that area too for whatever reason that I'm working through now

Last edited by Lykanized; 03-24-2018 at 12:01 PM.
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

And I'm gonna get to the rest tomorrow. I still need to explore a lot of these things within myself
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Re: I'm giving in-- Love/relationship issues in my chart

Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid View Post
Yes, you are on the right track with building up self esteem and inner strength.

Yu cannot 'defeat' this wound. You need to heal the wound, stop the pain and prevent it from getting worse.


Chiron=in 12th:

Natal Chiron in the 12th house of a natal chart is a rather difficult placement, as the asteroid operates directly in oneís subconscious and unconscious mind. The 12th house is known to be the Achilleís foot of the natal chart and is connected with self-undoing. In addition, as the 12th house is connected with our fears, Chiron tends to induce phobias that sometimes are difficult to get rid of.

The twelfth house is the ocean of our dreams, the deepest layers of our consciousness. It is there where our traumas and fears hide, and also our secret enemies. The house is ruled by Neptune and Pisces. That is why there also lay our inspiration and our chord that connects us with the collective subconscious. From here we can download information in our mind connected with art, and thatís why the 12th house is also the realm of psychology.

Chiron in the 12th house shows unresolved traumas that possibly come from previous lives. Some astrologer schools claim that the 12th house is ruling the period before oneís birth, while he is an embryo in his motherís womb. No matter if this is true or not, we should understand that the 12th house also roughly rules the last two hours before birth. It is because, during that time, the sign that occupies the 12th house was rising from the horizon and thus in conjunction with the nativeís Ascendant (which is, of course, his physical body).

With Chiron in the 12th house, there probably were physical pain and difficulties during the labor. Even before exiting the motherís womb, the young native felt some bad feeling. Depending on the signs or other planets present, the type of pain might differ.

...Copyright (©) https://theastrocodex.com - Read more at https://theastrocodex.com/chiron-in-the-12th-house/



This part is very fascinating as well:


A 12th House Chiron person should be very careful concerning his tendency to feel guilty without being wrong. Chiron in this house is urging the person to take responsibility for all the worldís troubles. The 12th house is making him a sponge that can absorb negative feelings from others, and so he might be easily feeling guilty for all the bad things that can happen around him.


If you have this placement, be careful to not fall into the trap of taking all things on your shoulders. This will distort you from your real task, which is to take the responsibility for the things that you indeed need to.


Also, such a native must fight against his tendency to surrender or to feel that he is predestined to fail. Such type of thinking can empower even more the series of events and lead to the manifestation of failures.

A 12th house person must find ways to increase his self-esteem, and this can even easily be done through auto-suggestion. Of course, when Chiron has hard aspects and the nativeís life has manifested dramatic events, then some help from a psychologist might be advised. Such a person might be afraid to look deeper into himself, to explore his own mind and ideas, and confront his borders.


. A 12th house Chiron person can become a wonderful psychologist for other people though. In case he battles his fear of exploring himself, he can understand the structure of the mechanisms of healing and use them in order to heal other people with hurt subconscious. Yet, it always remains more difficult to heal yourself, than to heal others.

...Copyright (©) https://theastrocodex.com - Read more at https://theastrocodex.com/chiron-in-the-12th-house/
I'm sorry it took so damned long for me to reply, but I read this and sometimes I take a while to think things over as sometimes I engage in more passive thinking which I feel leads to massive insights

I don't know your personal spiritual beliefs, but I personally believe in past lives and I've always had this sense of feeling as if I'm innately wounded, as if I was meant to be born a little out of step with everyone else, like there was always something I just didn't 'get'. So I've always felt like an outsider for many many reasons. As a child I had anxiety, as far back as I remember, which is from the age of 5 on. So I'd venture to say it's possible I was born with anxiety issues especially since my mom has anxiety too and had an especially hard time while she was pregnant with me. I've never been in tune with the status quo, yet I've also always been very self critical as I can tell something isn't right with who I am in comparison to others, but I don't always know exactly what it is. As kids, I know we always go through periods of time where we're very concerned with gender. Throughout that period for my own self, I was extremely tomboyish. I rejected everything girly. Boyish things just appealed to me more and it took me several years to accept any bit of girliness. My mom had my ears pierced as a baby and even recalls that as a baby I'd get really upset when she'd put dresses on me lmfao. Anyway. I remember when I was 13 seeing a woman at the mall with her lobes double pierced and I just thought it was so cool looking. From then on, I was really into piercings. So I guess I never have been the type to do what I was supposed to or to just follow the rules, yet a part of me is also so critical of myself that I have to find some way of loving myself despite not being like everyone else

What I recognize is that how my life goes is completely in my hands. I actually have many talents, but I'm my own damned worst enemy. It's not for lack of self awareness tho. I feel as if I spend enough time with myself that I know myself well. Maybe it took me some time, but I've always been very reserved and self explorative. At the same time, I'm an escapist so maybe that's where lack of awareness may have come into play. For the most part, tho, I'm very aware of all my weakness. Probably too aware sometimes

If I'm being honest, I don't know how not to feel responsible for all that goes on around me. I feel like humanity is such a delicate thing, our spirituality, our emotionality, our psychology, everything is so delicate that I know I play a huge role just as everyone does in the pain around us, in the emotional atmosphere, in the chaos

The positive is that I've decided I want to dedicate my life to healing others through art, but I still find it so hard to feel I'm worthy of anything good. It makes me want to hide. For years, I did hide. For years I fell into a space of inactivity where I let reality happen to me, I let myself be the victim. As much as I may deal with deeper mental health issues now, then, I truly wasn't self aware enough to move myself to the next stages of my life. I felt powerless, therefore I had to chase power in so many unhealthy ways. I was very very dark, then. I would read obsessively about death, I would dream of having power over others both physically and through words. I wanted to be a writer, but then, it wasn't about healing or helping others, it was about power. It was about shaking things up for people just for the sake of knowing I could, not for the sake of expanding peoples' consciousness. I fell into many self destructive behaviors that I realized were all about power, the power to destroy myself or bring myself to the brink of death but pull through

Strange enough, I think I had a good spirit following me. Perhaps a guardian angel. I've seen it and my dad has too. It's also saved my life a few times

At the moment, I feel a little stuck. I tend to get stuck, but I feel like these moments are good for thinking. really, I'm depressed, but I feel like depression does force us to step back and take some time to think about ourselves and about life and at the end of it you have a lot of insight

Whatever happens in life, I know it's all in my hands. Like I think I mentioned, I have a lot of talents, but I have to use them for good. I've gotten myself out of dark periods in life and it was never with anyone's help, only my own sheer willpower. I've proven to myself I'm a powerful being and what I can do is limitless if I use that willpower, yet I still find myself stuck sometimes. But then I have to realize I'm still young and life is painful

What I'm working on now is not acting or making choices out of fear. For instance, I'm interested in computer science bc I love puzzles, but i was only majoring in it out of fear. What I really love is writing. I wasn't able to attend classes this semester, but the brightside is that it gave me opportunity to figure out that I want to major in English, not in computer science. I feel like when I return, I'll be one step closer to finding my groove

I've loved writing since I was a child,...I started writing in the way that I can say is a predecessor of my current style when I was 10, but I never felt I was worthy of being an 'actual writer'. When I was 21 or 22 or so, I took my first creative writing course and that was the first time I ever felt like I belonged somewhere. My professor saw so much in me that it filled me with a lot of confidence, yet it was so ******* hard to make the decision to take that class bc I was afraid. If I hadn't done that, I may not be in the place to make the decision to major in English now

Life's just been a huge practice in facing my fears and proving to myself they were always unwarranted and I suppose I need to continue doing that. On another brightside, my own journey has given me A LOT of insight into life itself for us as humans
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