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  #1  
Unread 02-22-2017, 10:34 PM
WaterCopter WaterCopter is offline
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Toxic Relationships

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Last edited by WaterCopter; 03-18-2017 at 03:01 AM.
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  #2  
Unread 02-23-2017, 04:57 AM
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Re: Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships suckk.
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  #3  
Unread 02-23-2017, 07:41 AM
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Re: Toxic Relationships

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Originally Posted by StillOne View Post
Sorry to hear of your relationship. If it's a theme, it'll come up in your natal chart. Either way, it's a powerful event that you've been through. Lots of lessons there.

That link is really good. I think I'm going to order the book. Thanks for posting it.

Best wishes to you WaterCopter
I agree with this. I looked back through your other posts to see if your chart was there but I didn't find it, only lots of horary which will not allow you to understand yourself and what it is in your own chart that manifested this for you, either by natal, or by some particularly nasty transit, probably of Pluto.

Do you by any chance have Moon/Pluto, Venus/Pluto or either in Scorpio? Or Pluto in 7th house or in bad aspect to the 7th house ruler?

I see you said you had Scorpio Ascendant, and you have just started another relationship with a Scorpio like the toxic ex. Perhaps you should be looking for the Taurus girls who would chime with your Descendant sign and would be more emotionally stable. But watch out if they have difficult aspects to Pluto!
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  #4  
Unread 02-23-2017, 11:35 AM
junoisuppose junoisuppose is offline
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Re: Toxic Relationships

Hi I just read that article yesterday on facebook! Very, very, very true.

I have kept a copy of this article. I think it is useful to have to read again and again so that we can identify when we are in a relationship that is not healthy, and just to remind ourselves that these are ways that this particular person behaves. Thank you for sharing it with other people who might need it too.

There are some good narcissist recovery groups on facebook.

My experience with these people is that they showed up in my life, or showed their true colours when pluto was transiting my asc/desc axis and when my ascendant progressed over my natal pluto.

I just wrote about it here http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum...ad.php?t=20177

Sweet Pea I don't know about Tauruses (Tauri?) being a safe bet, my ex-bff is a taurus, quite bullying in her own way, with an added dose of scorpio and mars/saturn for extra cruelty. Some might be nice I guess.

Last edited by junoisuppose; 02-23-2017 at 12:00 PM.
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  #5  
Unread 02-23-2017, 02:45 PM
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Re: Toxic Relationships

I don't want to malign all Scorpionic types but there is a spectrum on which people operate and express their "stars" and some will express them at the lowest level.

Don't they say there is an evolution in Scorpios from scorpion/snake/serpent to eagle to phoenix? If you pick a Scorpio (or plutonic type), you would hope they've used those energies to dig deeply into themselves and have transformed the worst they found, and then become benign catalysts to evoke transformation in others ...... the malign ones will be catalysts too, in the sense that once encountered, you should never forget how bad they were, and what the warning signs were that you might have disregarded. That article posted at the top was a very useful checklist. It seems to be talking about a toxic combo of Scorpio and Leo with a fair dose of Capricorn (Saturn's control) thrown in.

Last edited by Sweet Pea; 02-23-2017 at 04:28 PM.
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  #6  
Unread 02-24-2017, 07:59 AM
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Re: Toxic Relationships

Thanks for the feedback Watercopter, and I hope you get some treatment for your bad throat. I block PMs. Glad to hear your new girlfriend is not as Scorpio-heavy as the other one, she sounds much better! I hope it all goes well for you.
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  #7  
Unread 02-26-2017, 06:51 PM
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Re: Toxic Relationships

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Originally Posted by WaterCopter View Post
Scorpio heavy or not, this one just confirmed to me that not only am I moving on too fast (and not quite over her) but she is not someone healthy for me to be around at this stage in my life.

I leave my computer on overnight (I set it to not go to sleep so I can let my phone charge over night) and for some reason it was reading her messages in the morning (didn't touch my computer until the afternoon). She freaked out at me, told me I "don't have the balls to even respond" and then blocked me. Phoned her, found out she was having a panic attack, helped her through that, came over, made sure she was alright, day goes good, I start getting comparisons to her ex, and things just went downhill from there. It started to feel like a rebound and I didn't approve of that either; so I left. Said goodbyes and wished her well; she only got more pissed at me. Turns out she has bipolar.

I'm completely turned off from relationships now. I just don't want anything to do with anyone at this moment. This settled it in the bag for me. I'm probably going to start blaming myself on this one too.

I got projects to do. I'll focus on that. Relationships are stupid. Better to be alone.
My condolences on your going through this kind of relationship experience. I can relate.

As StillOne mentioned, it would be interesting to look for any clues in your Natal chart.

The hardest part I think, is trying to understand how we let ourselves get so enmeshed in such a relationship. We might uncover some things that are not comfortable to look at.

I've actually just written a song about it, haven't written a song in years. It's good therapy. Perhaps if I ever get around to recording it you might relate.

I hope time heals your hurts and knowledge and wisdom guide your journey.

Last edited by AtomsInPlace; 02-26-2017 at 06:54 PM.
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  #8  
Unread 02-27-2017, 01:56 PM
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Re: Toxic Relationships

Relationships are always a matter of co-creation. And in the same way that everything else that's manifesting around you is a reflection of your inner state of being, so are your relationships. If you want to see how you're dong in that regard, just look at what's manifesting around you in your life. It gives you some clues about what's going on in your inner world.

Here's where astrology can help you. If you do a synastry you'll see what you may find fascinating about each other and what made you get to together. The synastry will also show you what topics this relationship will amplify for you and what issues you will have to face. And if that's going to happen the easy way or the hard way will depend on how dynamic the chart is, aka mostly soft or hard aspects - and most importantly: your mindset, your predominant mood when you walked into the relationship. That will set the tone for how things will unfold.

In some way this relationship is nothing else than an externalized inner conflict you either weren't aware of or you refused to deal with. The relationship forced you to eventually deal with it by creating a very dramatic situation that was impossible to ignore. If you can see it that way, you won't have to play this blame/guilt game anymore and get out of it stronger and clearer about yourself and can move on. If you just ran away though and the inner conflict still exists, then there will be another manifestation. It's much easier and way less dramatic to work out your inner conflicts on a mental or emotional level when you are on your own. But most people are too unaware and so they have to wait until it manifest in a physical event where they can't ignore it and then they start working things out. The end result of both approaches may be the same, but the first one is definitely much easier and smoother and creates way less collateral damage. Relationships are always a fascinating topic.
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  #9  
Unread 03-04-2017, 02:42 PM
muchacho muchacho is offline
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Re: Toxic Relationships

Well, with her ASC, Sun, Venus and Moon all in Scorpio, I'm not surprised what's going on here. She's the text book Scorpio. With Scorpio you usually don't know what's actually going on below the surface. The Scorpio can switch from hot to cold in an instant. That doesn't mean that it's genuine. The Scorpio does that for self-protection. And looking at your synastry, I highly doubt that it is genuine. Using whole sign houses, you trigger her 1st (ego), 4th (deep emotional bonds), 7th (spouse) and 8th (deep existential bonds). This indicates a rather deep connection. The activated water houses, especially the 8th, also indicate that traumas and fears may come to the forefront. So this relationship may have forced her to face and deal with feelings she rather wanted to hide, ignore and forget which on the one hand can be annoying or even traumatic, but on the other hand it could also start an emotional healing process. That was your influence.

When we look at your situation, we see that she triggers mostly your 1st (ego) and also your 2nd (self-worth). Which means to you it shouldn't really feel traumatic, apart from deflated ego and self-confidence. And with Moon and Sun in air signs, you'll get over it rather quickly. Quite the opposite to her Moon and Sun in water signs.
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  #10  
Unread 03-05-2017, 02:05 AM
muchacho muchacho is offline
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Re: Toxic Relationships

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Originally Posted by WaterCopter View Post
The hot and cold is not genuine, meaning she actually cares?
Yes, the synastry suggests that she cares deeply.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WaterCopter View Post
Anyways, thank you for your assestment on the chart. I really appreciate it. It shed some light in helping me understand. Maybe she was actually hurt by it. It never sounded like that cause I would get a different story from everyone. Her Uncle would claim she was perfectly fine and happy without me. Her mother told me she became a complete wreck but appreciated everything I did for her. Her friends would state she is very happy without me and I was just an abusive piece of ****. Some said it was hard and she was doing alright, but most of her friends, that she claimed "supported" her through the break up claimed she was so happy she left me and "they" (Cris included) enjoyed laughing at the messages I would send to her and laughed at how pathetic I was.

Her psychotic friend in reference; apparently she approved of her messages of telling me I should die alone and I should go kill myself (Cris didn't even care I ended up in the hosptial over a suicide attempt). Not once did she ever tell "Em" to stop pretending to be Cris. I don't see any signs that she remotely cared at all. I guess you can say she appreciated and approved of these actions they did that lead me to attempt suicide. I don't know how that is called "love".

Talking to this community if very theraputic. Thank you all for your insight and perspectives given. It's really helpful.
Trust your gut, aka your inner guidance, not hearsay from others, aka outer guidance. Others have their own issues and agendas.

Also, if she would really be your twin flame, in a karmic sense, there wouldn't be such glaring misunderstandings. It would rather feel like coming home, total trust and understanding each other without words.

Post the composite chart. Maybe it shows some additional information.
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Last edited by muchacho; 03-05-2017 at 02:09 AM.
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  #11  
Unread 03-05-2017, 12:50 PM
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Re: Toxic Relationships

Using whole sign houses, the composite shows a friendship relationship or a romantic relationship at best, but not a soul mate relationship, since there are no water houses involved, not even the 7th, actually. Sun in the 11th would indicate a potentially good friendship, Venus in the 5th romance and Moon in the 3rd a sibling like closeness. The packed 3rd house, with Mars and Saturn and Neptune also shows your communication issues. And since Moon is basically conjunct Neptune this would even indicate deception (or self-deception) when it comes to feelings. So the composite looks even less twin flame friendly than the synastry.
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  #12  
Unread 03-06-2017, 02:11 AM
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Re: Toxic Relationships

Interesting, I already had a suspicious about incorrect birth times because what the chart says and what keep saying isn't exactly a match. If a delineation doesn't ring true on a deeper level, then it usually isn't. But then again, we are using tropical charts, so the source of distortion may be there. Maybe the vedic chart can help here.

I agree, astrology is usually overrated, especially when it comes to predictions. Your free will can basically trump anything. However, that would take a lot of discipline in terms of focus and there's also this thing called pre-birth intentions and that's what you can see in the chart, some kind of general path or direction of your life ahead. You are not bound to follow that path, but you'll notice that things will unfold more naturally and effortlessly if you actually do. And so when things are a struggle all the time, that's usually a sign that you are way off your path.

Anyways, a change in birth time will change the outcome of the synastry and composite, of course. But before you try out different ascendants I'd like to take a look at your vedic chart first. But I need your birth details for that because I have to do some more advanced calculations. Send me a PM if you are interested.
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  #13  
Unread 03-07-2017, 07:03 AM
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Re: Toxic Relationships

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Originally Posted by WaterCopter View Post
My gut says she thinks she is no good for me. That if she talks to me she'll "cause" all of this again. Can't explain, just a thought I wanted to slip in.
Your gut instincts tell the truth. Explanation not needed.

Last edited by WHYNOT; 03-07-2017 at 07:06 AM.
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  #14  
Unread 03-07-2017, 07:16 AM
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Re: Toxic Relationships

"she" has played a significant role in your life.
The lesson learned is : to understand WHAT, (in the end), you do NOT want in a relationship. Even if the earlier parts were seemingly good.

THUS,
As you evolve in understanding yourself better, you distill your own Values. ..(as to what matters to you and what does not )

Then , as you change , you "attract" people who reflect your own Values better...

Last edited by WHYNOT; 03-07-2017 at 07:30 AM.
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  #15  
Unread 03-07-2017, 07:27 AM
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Re: Toxic Relationships

All those oppositions which include Chiron in the composite don't bode well. Pain, pain, pain. And Moon-Neptune conjunct can give you psychic experiences, dream connections, etc. It doesn't mean it was all sanctioned by your Souls, as in a true Twin Flame style connection. It could have been manipulated by entities from the lower astral levels, so they could feed on the toxic energies that the relationship produced. You can read the beginning of this book, and read the comments, that will give you the gist of what I'm talking about (The Dark Side of Cupid).

https://www.amazon.co.uk/d/Books/Dar...+side+of+cupid

You're still 'corded' to each other, and that's why you think/hope that she'll be back. The cord is begging for her energy again. Read about cords here -

http://www.alchemyrealm.com/cords.htm
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  #16  
Unread 03-07-2017, 07:47 AM
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Re: Toxic Relationships

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Pea View Post
All those oppositions which include Chiron in the composite don't bode well. Pain, pain, pain. And Moon-Neptune conjunct can give you psychic experiences, dream connections, etc. It doesn't mean it was all sanctioned by your Souls, as in a true Twin Flame style connection. It could have been manipulated by entities from the lower astral levels, so they could feed on the toxic energies that the relationship produced. You can read the beginning of this book, and read the comments, that will give you the gist of what I'm talking about (The Dark Side of Cupid).

https://www.amazon.co.uk/d/Books/Dar...+side+of+cupid

You're still 'corded' to each other, and that's why you think/hope that she'll be back. The cord is begging for her energy again. Read about cords here -

http://www.alchemyrealm.com/cords.htm
I agree, it's really important to cut cords.

The times I've had to do it, I simply imagined a big pair of scissors and "snippity snip".

Seems to work. Be aware though, that the "recipients" (either the other person or any other attached entities) will often freak out at first because of the loss of supply.

So there can be some psychic attacks, a bit of sudden stalking, nothing to worry about tho, it usually runs it's course pretty quickly, provided that you DO NOT RE-ENGAGE
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  #17  
Unread 03-08-2017, 12:35 AM
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Re: Toxic Relationships

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Originally Posted by WaterCopter View Post
I tried with another woman and after a couple dates I didn't want it. I didn't want all the drama. I just don't want another relationship. I have no drive or lust for having one anymore. It sickens me to even think of having another relationship. I feel absolutely disgusted in myself for dating this person.

Cris was my first true love and I feel like she'll be my last. I don't want to explore a relationship with anyone else. Not even considering my most wildest dreams can I picture someone else other than my actual dream girl.

But whatever, it doesn't phase me. Thank you for all your input. It's really helped me heal (it may not seem like it as it looks like I'm still stuck on her, but I'm content. I like where I am now). This community is absolutely exceptional. I love being here.

Thank you, all. I can't thank you all enough. All your input has been so helpful I have no words for it.



[edit]: Just meditating here for a bit, I know why we were drawn together and I know why we separated. I think I can cut that cord. And hey, it doesn't mean "the end" it just means it leaves room for something new to grow; and if that cord gets created with her once again, it'll be stronger than ever before.
Attaboy!

You're getting it...

Cut it...Let her grow. Let you grow. If it's "meant to be" then you guys will re-attach with a cleaner bond. If not, then you have learned what a life time in unversity could never teach you.

All the best,

and an Atomic hug
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