Hi GeminiSun
You are quite perceptive as there is a “cosmic/spiritual “energy that is running through you.and you are correct that your striving for material superficial things is not what you purpose is I this life.
This energy is from your stellium of your sun,vertex and the south node.
This is some what complicated to define because it is so comprehensive in a spiritual/psychic sense. And it may seem i am degenerating into metaphysical clichés, but these are the real forces operating through you.
The node is the source of all psychic and spiritual perspectives and knowledge as it ranges from access to the astral plane to the intimate answers to your particular “karma”, as well as to your mental,emotional and psychic nature.
With the sun conjunct the south node, your aura is very strong. This can be seen when you have noticed that other people seem to feel your presence. this gives a “psychic” magnetism that will draw other too you for good or bad reasons. It is a overall aspect of intuition or psychic/mental abilities . the main difficulty is that the south node, as you have, also bring what maybe called thought forms from the unconscious and karmic or astral planes. These thought forms can be very useful when your mind is trying to create images of ideas and wordsas your subconscious has a great “pre-existent” library already. but the difficulty is that these excess thought forms can overwhelm you conscious mind at times if you don’t realize that there is a vast energy running through you. You ego can identify with the energy instead of correctly seeing you are channeling energy. If this happens then you mind can overload and you can suffer mental confusion or other difficulties.
The vertex is the matrix that the node draws from but it brings not only of personal karmic considerations, it also bring more general and expansive karmic information of the cosmos as a whole. Information of all facets of reality and unreality. So this information more easily overwhelms the structure of your personality. Vertex energy can bring sensation of a connection to other worldly realties, altered realities or just undefinable images and sensations. Karmically the vertex gives you experience of coincides that affect your life’s direction but which you have no control,over.as I said you can experience strange realities and feeling which can isolate you as the synchronistic nature of these interactions can leave you feeling that no one could ever understand the internal and external experiences you are subject to.
Either thenode or vertex can lead to “paranormal feelings or conclusions , so the two in conjunction can be very confusing or indicative of a complicated spiritual life or past life. And with your life /sun connected then, yes, there is more to your destiny that blindly seeking the superficial/material aspects .
I can not see your specific purpose in life. Possibly a genuine psychic could see into your karma, but I can discuss the abilities and influences your soul has chosen to have access to in this life.
Your moon is square to Saturn giving you a reserved inner emotional nature as the midpoint of this square is itself square to the liith axis. The lilth axis can be thought of as the primal or most basic level of emotional sensitivity. This is where feelings and just rise inot your consicus experince. So with Saturn/moon square you are inherently emotionally reserved. You prize loyalty but can be emotionally reclusive.
Your sun/moon midpoint is opposed to pallas and vesta which shows that a major aspect of your personality is boldness, morality and knowledge. In a woman’s chart especially, this shows the qualities that you have described about your self already. With vesta added, again, you have a streak of devotion and you value you loyalties and other’s loyalty to you.
Eris is conjunct to lilth so in addition to a inherent reclusiveness, you are also very ambitious and sexual as eris enjoys emotional conquest and advancement of personal desires. But eris is not especially favorable for true love and a can show an emotional insensitivity to love a times.but as mars is trine to eris,I would expect that you are not dismissive to others emotional attraction toward you, though you may not reciprocate as ardently as other to do you.
Your sun/moon midpoint is opposed to pallas and vesta which shows that a major aspect of your personality is boldness, morality and knowledge. In a woman’s chart especially, this shows the qualities that you have described about your self already. With vesta added, again, you have a streak of devotion and you value you loyalties and other’s loyalty to you.
Eris is conjunct to lilth so in addition to a inherent reclusiveness, you are also very ambitious and sexual as eris enjoys emotional conquest and advancement of personal desires. But eris is not especially favorable for true love and a can show an emotional insensitivity to love a times.but as mars is trine to eris,I would expect that you are not dismissive to others emotional attraction toward you, though you may not reciprocate as ardently as other to do you.
Eris is also square ton Neptune and Uranus which would increase the emotional affect you have on others. But it would also show the majority of this attention would be superficial and insincere, oriented to pure physical desires. this aspect does give you greater creativity though
Your mars is conjunct to chiron at midheaven . this also supports what you have mentioned of yourself fas this aspect is quite bold. Mars here seeks new experiences and is very directed toward goals. But this aspect can give you a bit of a quirky edge in that you often don’t respond to social stimuli as would be the “norm”. you can seem insensitive and pushy but it is just that you take everything seriously, I that you only pay attention to the center of core of matters and don’t deal with the “fluff” of social interactions. This also gives a critical edge to you. you can be abruptly acting if nothing of substance is coming up.
Jupiter is square to mercury which heightens your itelligece though it makes you proe to arguments. This is especially true as the midpoint of this square is conjunct to mars and chiron. This makes you very critical ananalytical and intelligent , but itcomes with a lack of tact. You are costatly aalyzig everything and everyone and if you find falsehoods or disingenuity ,you are quick to point this hypocrisy out.this is where you lack of tact can cause problems with others and with friends because you don’t mince your words.
Sedna is opposed to psychic which shows you have a commitment to truth ,especially in relationships and social interactions but Orcus forms a t square which ca show that very those who you are attracted to have emotional issues that make it difficult to open up to you or themselves.
This impulse to truthfulness and openness in relationships is also show by the Venus/mars midpoint conjunct the mercury/sun midpoint.
With eros square to psyche ,you again have very idealistic,romantic almost spiritual yearning in relationships.love is almost adolescent In that the physical attraction sometimes is not as important as the sense of spiritual connection.
And with the eros/pyche midpoint opposed to mercury, you are truly attracted to the mid of lovers.
With the Venus/moon midpoint conjunct to Eros, there is no question you are also very passionate ad your physical desires quite strong too.but phlous is opposed to eros which suggest that there will be many false loves before you gain you mate.
Actually it seems the main social dyamics around you recently evolve around relationships and insincerity.
The moon is sextile to Jupiter and trine to juno which shows you have qualities of a teacher. This pattern would indicate that you draw great strength form your family and heritage ,especially grand parents
As what you should focus on,it seems that the mercury/Jupiter midpoint conjunct your msrs and chiron would be the strongest impulse. This pattern shows you have the mental/psychic abilities to see the truth behind all things, that is you can see both sides of any question and you seek to resolve the contradiction In life and In higher knowledge. Your path suggest you are destined to elucidate for others the truth and the hypocrisy that make up the material and spiritual worlds.
You have the abilities to be a problem solver . one who can look through contradictions and see the common points that brig agreement.
rahu
