Causes of negative professional relationship with mother?

Hi Im hoping that someone might be kind enough to shine some light on my chart. I feel like there is a strong chance of family astrangement if im not careful and its really stressing me out. Ive worked with my mum for 14years and we have had a very close relationship. Since november/december ive seen her in a different light and i dont know if shes always been that way or if its a phase. Feel like theres some serious power tripping and gaslighting going on and that she wants to drive a wedge between me and the rest of my family. Any insights at all would be so helpful.
Have given 3months notice that im leaving work but at this stage im not even sure if i can trust her to give me a decent reference.

She’s cut my hours today on a trial basis for two weeks, as we can’t seem to work together. Not sure what the intention of this is but it kinda feels like she is trying to push me into either submitting to her 100% or trying to provoke me to do something drastic like cut her out of my life (which I won’t do) as there is a pattern in her family of a parent or siblings not talking to each other and forming kinda mean power alliances against each other!!

Betsy we need your chart for this, and ideally your mother's as well.

Thanks Waybread, sorry about that. No birth time known for my mum unfortunately, but these are definitely the signs her planets are in, they don’t change that day thankfully.
Really wish I had more to go on as she’s quite a complex person!

Betsy, we're almost there. Can you post Mum's chart, as well? If you don't know her birth time, just input it as unknown. That tiny little table is hard to read with my tri-focals and most of us prefer to read horoscopes.

Can you elaborate a bit on what she has said to you about the problems in your working relationship?

I note that you have a "kite" formation in your chart, pointing to your Mars retrograde in Capricorn. Mars is definitely the planetary energy to develop. Usually it rules one's innate assertiveness and aggression, but when Mars is retrograde, all of that aggression gets turned inward. You are probably very hard on yourself.

Recently transiting Pluto and Saturn have been hitting your natal Mars, which starts activating all of those other planets involved in the kite (Mercury, moon, Jupiter.) You are probably being asked to rethink your expression of martial qualities like assertiveness and courage.

With her natal Mars conjunct Uranus and Pluto, Mum knows all about power plays and assertiveness. With your diplomatic Libra rising, you might be the family peace-keeper, but standing up to Mum in a diplomatic way and establishing some clear boundaries may be what's called for.

What does she need to hear from you?

Wow! Your spot on! Astrology has been like counseling for me this year ��, so thank you so much for your insights. I’ve posted her unknown time chart on original post. I really appreciate any light or guidance you can shine on things so please any feedback. I know I have a lot of work to do on myself and that it is really a good thing this is happening as it will force me to develop in areas that I haven’t. I definately do feel that I am been asked to rethink my assertiveness and courage. I want to be fair and communicate amicably but I don’t always react to her powerplays very well at all and I come off looking quite badly in front of my dad (who I also work with) as I respond defensively, passive aggressively and don’t assert myself in the best ways. I usually start off well but then her poking gets to me (Scorpio moon) and what I perceive to be the injustice of it all.
I tried using conflict resolution (not mastered techniques yet) but I’ve been told by my mum that I’m being condescending and my dad that I’ve rehearsed what I’m saying (as he’s not used to me being not emotionaly on the defense and my solution focussed approach seems cold to him).

She hasn’t actually said that there’s problems in our working relationship, it’s me that as told her this. She broke her hip at Xmas and when she was recovering I updated her on any problems but I think she wasn’t happy that I was managing so well without her. When she was recovering she asked me for updates on everything and she kept expressing distaste at my decisions or planed approaches to deal with day to day running but yet she wouldn’t actually say what she wanted done instead...just cast holes and doubts in my plans and leave it like that. There were one incident that was bigger than me and needed her to make the decision but she kept putting it off and then trying to throw the decision on me but not being happy with me doing it either. Kinda like she didn’t want to make a decision when she could get me to and then complain about it and blame me for consequences as if she would have made a different one.
When she came back if there was a simple decision which I had made on something everyday and I had taken the steps necessary guided by work policies and procedures she would again cast aspirations and distaste and my decision . Previously I would have doubted and second guessed myself but now that I have realized that she is powerplaying me all the time I don’t doubt myself and my confidence annoys/ threatens her I think as maybe it makes her feel not needed. I used to be really indecive but now that I have started believing in myself I don’t and I don’t allow her to make me doubt myself which means that I’m often disagreeing with her. Not good. If I said the sky was blue I feel she’d say grey. Also she is quite changeable so what will do today will not do tomorrow and she’s always changing her stance on things at work. She will knock my ideas and then days weeks later propose them as her own. She wants all the credit for anything positive and will not give any praise or just reward to staff and I really detest this. One day she is all in at work and is questioning the way everything is done and the standard of everything and the next she can’t get away quick enough.

I think she needs her ego boosted as she’s not as self assured as I thought and she needs to feel in control, top dog, like everyone is depending on her and that no one can cope with out her. I think she’s afraid of getting older and being vulnerable, not having the same status and role in life as her identity is wrapped up I need her job and what she has achieved. She says she wants to take a step back at work, retire, and part of her does but part of her needs to feel needed, needs to tell people want to do and be the

Hi, Betsy--

Is there a straightforward way to say to Mum what you just relayed to us?

I'm not sure it would straighten things out.

With her moon-Jupiter in Aries, being independent is really important to her, so she may be trying to sustain her sense of independence as well as control. (The latter indicated by her Mars-Pluto square Venus-Mercury.)

Regardless of what happens to your family relationship, hopefully you can let your staff know when they've done a good job.

Is Dad just trying to keep the peace or is he an ally?

I don't suppose there is a chance that Mum would agree to family counseling.

If she's a shrewd enough businesswoman, hopefully Mum can focus on a business not being about her so much, but about making the sound decisions.

Meanwhile, if you can just focus on your own courage and assertiveness (in a nice Libra rising way, of course) I think that's the road ahead for you.

Thanks Waybread again for your insights, they are a massive help.
I'm hesitant about speaking to her about it again as she is so proud that the focus seems to be more on wining than coming to a mutual understanding. At work also she does'nt try and understand what staff are going through, want and need from the job. She can be quite focussed on her own goals in conversations, coming out on top rather than a mutualy aggreeable result.

Yes independence is massively important to her, she doesnt like to have to ask anyone to do anything, shes more comfortable telling them or hinting/guilt tripping.She doesnt like to be indebted to anyone.

I would love it if she would go to counceling but she is so proud I dont know if shes capable of doing that. Fortunately we are able to get on well outside of work so thats a positive.

After reading your reply friday I tried to explain to my dad what its like and really did listen. His advice was to bite my tongue. He definately has been trying to keep the peace but he is invertably an ally.

Sunday night my mum offered me the opportunity to buy the lease for the business premises as she has suddenly decided to take a step back. I'm very tempted to try and take it on but its a really difficult sector at the moment and part of me just wants to have a normal family relationship without work creeping into every discussion.

Definately going to take onboard all of your advice and try to work on my assertiveness and courgage. Hard to know if I'm being courageous walking away from a business I've worked in for 14years or if taking on the lease would be the courageous thing to do. Really dont want to end up being all work work work like my mum though.