Is he the one?

I'm looking for an advice about my new boyfriend. We've been together for almost 3 months and I wonder if he's the one I'm going to marry. I'm turning 37 this year and I am scared to be in another long term relationship again if it won't lead to getting married and having children. What are his feelings for me and his intentions about our relationship?

A little more information - we kind of work together, let's say we're different shifts so we rarely each other there, and last year he was calling me out on dates while I was taken, and we even traveled together, and when my previous relationship fell apart due to my ex's unreadiness to settle down, I started dating my colleague.


My boyfriend sees me 4 times a week, knows my family. He only has a mother whom I haven't met yet. She lives 45 minutes away. I know some of his friends and he knows mine. He doesn't open up much. I'm more of a lovey dovey type. When i ask him about his feelings, if he's in love with me, he confirms, but he doesn't start talking about all that by himself. He shows his fondness for me by opening doors, driving me home, carrying my bags, taking me to my favourite band's concert, etc.

I am a little concerned about the composite chart. A Venus/Saturn conjunction opposing Sun/Mercury, as part of a wide mutable Grand Cross.

I would see that as ongoing communication problems. I am not sure that you will be emotionally fulfilled or feel that you are getting enough from the relationship unless he opens up much more and changes his routines a bit.

There are some very nice aspects in the synastry, but notice his sun/moon conjunction sitting off on its own, not very integrated with your planets. His marriage/partnership instinct isn't relating to the relationship.
In the composite, there is a sun/moon conjunction that shows a basic compatibility, which is very helpful, and it's with mercury, again very good for communications which is a basic tool in marriage once the honeymoon wears off.
The Venus/saturn conjunction could be coldness, difficulty expressing emotions, but it also does add stability and fidelity. The north moon's node on Saturn also gives stability and responsibility. Not exciting, but reliable.
With Neptune squaring these planets, it may seem too good to be true, because it actually is, and once the veneer starts to fade you may be in for a big disappointment.
Returning to the natal synastry, your ascendent/descendent rulers aren't really in aspect, and this is an important link that is missing. You aren't connecting in terms of what each of you needs in a partner.

Thank you katydid and ElenaJ.


What you've written sounds discouraging.
May I ask when do you see me getting married and having children?
I'm aware my biological clock is ticking and it makes me more and more worried each year.

Waiting42long said:

Thank you katydid and ElenaJ.


What you've written sounds discouraging.

Don't be discouraged, just consider what you really want from the relationship, and whether the potential really is there.


May I ask when do you see me getting married and having children?
Sorry, I couldn't answer this from a natal chart.

I'm aware my biological clock is ticking and it makes me more and more worried each year.

Click to expand...

Not a good reason to jump into any relationship. Think about it.
Also, consider his Uranus opposing your 5th cusp of children. Not reliable.

ElenaJ said:

Not a good reason to jump into any relationship. Think about it.

Click to expand...

I know.

ElenaJ said:

Also, consider his Uranus opposing your 5th cusp of children. Not reliable.

Click to expand...

What does that mean exactly?

What does Uranus represent?
It is freedom, uniqueness and egoism, erratic energy not continuity, unreliability.
Would you really want to count on that type of energy with regard to your children. Posted on the cusp of the 11th, opposing your 5th cusp, works against your stated goal, of solving the ticking biological clock problem. Or, let's say, resolving it with a permanent partner beside you.

Ok, now I see what you mean. Thank you so much for devoting your time to my problems.


Do you think I've made a mistake for breaking up with my ex after 7 years?
Here are our composite and synastry charts. The reason that relationship ended was that he was more unemployed than employed, he drank and he relied too much on his mother for most of decisions (but then, that part could be related to his financial situation). He would be super sweet for me for a few hours and then he would snap at me for something he was unsatisfied about his life.

Without even checking the charts, from what you write it sounds like 7 years was too much to spend in that type of relationship.

Without reading the synastry, just look at it as a visual pattern. The red, stressful aspects, are overwhelming, don't you think?
Your moon on his Chiron makes you learn lessons, like it or not, through suffering. Your moon also on his node makes it an emotional tie.
The composite moon/uranus/venus grand trine kept you going for so long.
The natal mars opposing your sun/mars was a physical attraction, that gets over-ignited when it passes on from sex to just energy expression. It irritates.
In the new relationship you wrote about earlier, his mars is on your 7th cusp, again very energetic, but eventually leading to arguments and irritation.
You do have natal mars conjunct Chiron, are we beginning to see a theme here?
We each have both masculine and feminine internally, and we seek to find a balance between these two forces within ourselves. Mars represents the masculine, our action, our initiative, our aggressiveness. Chiron is the wounded healer. In the case of a conjunction, a person tends to fear being aggressive, for fear of being wounded. They can become insecure, and rely on a partner to make up for this undeveloped energy they have.
In both of the relationships you wrote about, mars takes on a prominent role in the interchange between you, as though you live out your own energy through the relationship, through your partner. You tend to become overly dependent on your partner, to cover up and compensate for your shyness and insecurity.
Have we found a key? In fact, the symbol of Chiron looks like a key. By succumbing to the pain of the wound, you avoid healing.
Your instinct to take the first one who presents themselves, in this case with the excuse of the biological clock ticking away, is a symptom of this conflict that you have to still work on. If you don't, you will continue to link up with underachievers, partners who artificially stimulate that mars energy that you yourself are afraid to activate, to avoid the pain. You experience the pain externally, in the partnership.
Once you face up to this and recognise it, you can overcome it, and the need to have those martian conflicts in a relationship will dissipate, evaporate, because the energy will be within you yourself, and you won't need it to be a compensation that you find in the relationship.
This is quite deep, and you should really think about this, you can resolve it.
And the reward will be drawing to yourself a partner who is worthy of your healed self, in a shared relationship, that will want to build a future together, each as an individual who blends in the togetherness without losing themselves to it.