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Natal Astrology A place to discuss yours and others' birth charts (after you post your own birth chart interpretation). Includes psychological and relocation astrology, houses, aspects, and planetary dignity and debility.

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Unread 03-28-2019, 01:23 AM
kingdomkeys's Avatar
kingdomkeys kingdomkeys is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Europe
Posts: 7
Post Confusion about chart placements

Hey everyone!
I'm not sure anyone is going to read this but my name is Jovan and I'm new to this forum. I've seen a lot of interesting discussions here in the past but as an unregistered user. With this being my first day as a member, I was wondering if anyone could shed some light on a couple of things regarding some placements of my natal chart (note: I've been following astrology for about a year but it's been quite casual thus I'm nowhere near a pro).

Firstly, you should find attached a picture of my natal chart. As you can see, I'm a first/fourth house person (or so I think) but the former is what bugs me right now. I seem to relate to the descriptions of both the 1st and 12th house placements however I'm leaning toward those 1H energies more. Notice the aspects between Mercury, Venus and the Ascendant and the orbs.

The trouble I encounter daily is that I have a warped perception of myself and it is worth mentioning that I've been suffering from social anxiety/depression for a few years. I'm sort of obsessed with looks (makes sense cause of the Sun in the first and perhaps Venus?). I know beauty is subjective but I keep reading that I'm supposed to be quite popular and beautiful because of my aspects and placements. Unfortunately, I'm highly critical of the way I come off and of my physical attributes and I consider myself as incredibly non-pretty (don't want to say ugly, I don't like that word but that would be one way of putting it). I have difficulty talking sometimes and prior to me turning 15 and entering secondary school, my family/environment would literally mock me for not being able to speak/enunciate. My public image has taken a turn since then and due to the non-stop success I've had in school since almost 3 years ago (that's when people started seeing me as this "genius - Sun and Mars were transiting my 9th I think thus I was in top 5 of a really important international competition and a bunch of others), people now see me as the most intelligent person in the room but the thing is these traits were always inside me. I really like studying and can't wait to go to college to get that freedom of finding out everything about everything. The impression I leave on others is mostly negative imo cause I've been told I make everyone fee less worthy (people who aren't part of my town/community react positively to my aura and behavior and tend to love my talkative nature). I'm really awkward during conversations with people who are around my age (I never really fit in and I've been bullied since I can remember) but everyone who's not in my generation is amazed by my manners, aversion to cursing and my intelligence. I've noticed and have been told that I'm way more mature than people my age and most individuals older than me. I also realize people notice me immediately when I walk into a room and I've been a topic of many conversations for a long time now in the public. This is something that has been going on with adolescence. Additionally, my two friends and my sister have grown tired of telling me I'm beautiful cause I just can't see it and keep focusing on how "skinny" I am or on my "thin lips". A lot of people who know me would never call me a Libra rising (I would though) and would probably assign me with a Scorpio Midheaven but I disagree. My politeness is probably the thing I love the most about myself and I did have a good upbringing. I really think kindness is the way to go.

On the last note, my questions: Is this common for such placements? I guess I'm self-centered and I keep downplaying my abilities and looks to extremes but I don't want to go too much in-detail so that I don't bore you. Is there a way anyone could point me to a placement/aspect so I can work on it? Also, would you say I'm a Mercury/Venus 1H or 12H person? Or both?

By the way, I'm seeing a therapist because of all these issues and I'll venture to express my occasional optimism regarding my mental recovery.

Thank you so much to anyone who read this and sorry for it being so long haha. English is also not my native language so apologies for any errors. I'm grateful for any responses in advance.

P.S. Sometimes I feel like I'm a Saturn 1H person cause I really hate myself and it's like the universe has been against me forever eh.

Last edited by kingdomkeys; 07-26-2019 at 08:56 AM.
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chart, confusion, placements

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