Single for 5 years.. Any luck in love?

lilithofeden

Well-known member
Hi Guys!

I've been single for 5 years. I've had a lot of short-term relationships and casual dates. I'm starting to think this whole relationship thing isn't cut out for me :(

I am a single mom with a good job as an executive assistant, and I study at University part time while having a place of my own.

I have attached the transits for today (July 5th) to show what is currently going on with my chart right now. The only real indicators of anything significant I was able to find were on the following dates:

April 17th, 2018
- T North Node Opposite N Vertex/Saturn conjunction in 5th house
- T Juno trine Pluto/Merc and Mars
- T Moon Opp. N Sun
- T Merc. Trine Venus

March 29th, 2019
- T Juno Conjunct N South Node
- T Jupiter Conjunct N North Node
- T Venus Trine N Sun
- T Neptune Sextile N Neptune

Even my SR chart for 2018/2019 has some promising aspects:
- SR Descendant/Juno conjunct N MC
- SR Ascendant Conjunct N IC/Venus
- SR Vertex Conjunct N Mars
(chart attached).

It is slightly discouraging to me as it seems that a real shot at love is so far away, if at all attainable. I've considered quitting my good job and going to University full-time just to meet new people and widen my social circle in hopes of finding someone special.

The thing I find about monitoring your own transits and aspects is that we can sometimes be biased against them. We may only see what we want to see, or miss stuff that others may catch.

I appreciate anyone who takes a look and offers any advise. Thank you!
 

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Taurus9

Well-known member
I can't speak specifically about your chart transits but generally speaking your Venus is in Sagittarius and Saturn has been hammering Virgo risings there for 2-3 years now, area of home and family as well but could ease up next year.

That said, your Venus seems quite positive. The only thing I could maybe see is the ruler of the majority of your 7th house (Neptune) is also opposed quite heavily and Pisces can also be quite dreamy or deceptive for relationships.

Also, not to sound overly simplistic, but it kind of just feels like a Virgo rising thing too. Appearing to be all work and study, heightened by Libra rational and sticking to rules and doing what is right first on paper.

Unfortunately, contrary to what The Bhagavad Gita quote says, following the senses is wiser when it comes to love. Love isn't a logical thing and being clever isn't wise so trying to rationally judge affectionate emotions and seeking perfection in it is pointless.

You may find little things could help love. For example, expressing to various people you see and like a small compliment such as, "I like your style", and then having no further idealistic expectation or pressure of a relationship. Experiment gradually.
 
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aquarius7000

Well-known member
Hi,

I have to say that I am surprised that nothing happened in the past half year when you had your Jupiter return. Jupiter rules your 7th house (via traditional Astrology). Neptune has been transiting your 7th house, so your own description of feeling: "far away, if at all attainable" fits to a tee.

As long as Jupiter is in Libra, there is luck.
 

lilithofeden

Well-known member
I can't speak specifically about your chart transits but generally speaking your Venus is in Sagittarius and Saturn has been hammering Virgo risings there for 2-3 years now, area of home and family as well but could ease up next year.

That said, your Venus seems quite positive. The only thing I could maybe see is the ruler of the majority of your 7th house (Neptune) is also opposed quite heavily and Pisces can also be quite dreamy or deceptive for relationships.

Also, not to sound overly simplistic, but it kind of just feels like a Virgo rising thing too. Appearing to be all work and study, heightened by Libra rational and sticking to rules and doing what is right first on paper.

Unfortunately, contrary to what The Bhagavad Gita quote says, following the senses is wiser when it comes to love. Love isn't a logical thing and being clever isn't wise so trying to rationally judge affectionate emotions and seeking perfection in it is pointless.

You may find little things could help love. For example, expressing to various people you see and like a small compliment such as, "I like your style", and then having no further idealistic expectation or pressure of a relationship. Experiment gradually.

Thank you for your reply. The moment Saturn entered my 4th is when I started living on my own. It has definitely been time consuming and it comes with its weight of responsibility. I renovated 3 bedrooms over the course of 2 years on top of work and school.

I did try to get myself out there, and my saggi Venus knows how to be fun and flirty at times. But that normally comes after I feel comfortable with someone. You may be on to something when you mention my Virgo ascendant, because I do come off as reserved in the beginning as a first impression.
 

lilithofeden

Well-known member
Hi,

I have to say that I am surprised that nothing happened in the past half year when you had your Jupiter return. Jupiter rules your 7th house (via traditional Astrology). Neptune has been transiting your 7th house, so your own description of feeling: "far away, if at all attainable" fits to a tee.

As long as Jupiter is in Libra, there is luck.

So last year in February, T Neptune conjunct my DC. I went on a first date the exact night the conjunction was at 0 degrees, and my date and I hit it off like we were made for each other. We dated for 2 months. He asked me to be his girlfriend when we had a solar eclipse in my 1st/7th house axis. He bought me a $600 gold bracelet from Pandora with charms on it. One was the key of trust, one stood for "follow the stars" and the others were hearts that said love. But I noticed he became distant, and on the lunar eclipse he broke up with me out of nowhere. It turns out he was trying to get back with his ex. She didn't want him back and she contacted me to tell me what was really going on. The guy proposed to me in his attempt to woo me back!!! That did not work and I do not talk to him anymore. I stay connected with his ex gf though, funny enough. So that was Neptune on my DC and solar eclipse in my 1/7 house.

The next significant moment was around August and September. My Jupiter return brought love and money (Natal Jupiter is conjunct Natal POF in my 2nd house). I got involved with a best friend of mine for 17 years. We had sleep overs as children, and his parents really wanted to see us together. We gave it a shot and he was talking about moving closer to my city (he lived 3 hours away but drove to see me at least once a week). I had another solar eclipse on my DC during that relationship, and it ended just as quickly and hurtful. We no longer talk, follow each other on any social media, or anything. He already has a new girlfriend (the other guy from earlier last year has a new gf too). In terms of money, I was head hunted for a position paying 20% more in salary than I get, with full benefits too. I went to the interview, but I didn't like the work environment. I ended up getting a raise at my current workplace instead.
 
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Taurus9

Well-known member
Thank you for your reply. The moment Saturn entered my 4th is when I started living on my own. It has definitely been time consuming and it comes with its weight of responsibility. I renovated 3 bedrooms over the course of 2 years on top of work and school.

I did try to get myself out there, and my saggi Venus knows how to be fun and flirty at times. But that normally comes after I feel comfortable with someone. You may be on to something when you mention my Virgo ascendant, because I do come off as reserved in the beginning as a first impression.

The only reason I mentioned it is because I am also Virgo ascendant with heavy Virgo in my chart and have had similar issues. I come across as awkward and unconfident and perfectionistic to other people and it is annoying because they never understand the right side of me underneath.

In my personal experience so far my ascendant has been the most accurate thing for general predictions. I know a post above was surprised because of your Jupiter placement that love didn't come in for you but your Libra is in 2nd house and money did come in for you.

With Venus in 4th, your love could even refer to your home and your daughter as opposed to romantic idealistic love with a partner. At least that is what I am gradually learning about Venus, that she isn't Neptune.
 

lilithofeden

Well-known member
The only reason I mentioned it is because I am also Virgo ascendant with heavy Virgo in my chart and have had similar issues. I come across as awkward and unconfident and perfectionistic to other people and it is annoying because they never understand the right side of me underneath.

In my personal experience so far my ascendant has been the most accurate thing for general predictions. I know a post above was surprised because of your Jupiter placement that love didn't come in for you but your Libra is in 2nd house and money did come in for you.

With Venus in 4th, your love could even refer to your home and your daughter as opposed to romantic idealistic love with a partner. At least that is what I am gradually learning about Venus, that she isn't Neptune.

A lot of time, I have my business-persona on when I meet people on first dates. I have noticed that, so I try to take a more relaxed approach. Though sometimes I feel like I may intimidate some potential partners. Jupiter did bring money, and it was through love that I learned more about my own values and how to approach relationships, and how to set-up boundaries to ensure that I am being respected.

My son has his AC exactly conjunct my IC/Venus by 0 degrees. Anything that happens in my home directly affects him too. When I date, I look for the qualities of a life partner and I consider the type of influence that person will be on my son. Perhaps if I were more care-free about dating I would have a relationship by now lol.
 

lilithofeden

Well-known member
From your 32nd to 35th year. When sun progresses to sextile of Jupiter and approaches conjunction of venus

And here I was thinking that 2-3 years is a long time!! I wonder though, since Venus is in Saggi and Jupiter is in Libra, they have mutual reception, but Venus is in the 4th house (home) and Jupiter is in the second house (money earned/values), does this perhaps represent something other than the starting of a relationship? I have often though about having a home run business. I am also considering going back to University (as stated in my OP) and if I do, I would finish around the age of 32 to 35, so perhaps this would correspond to more of a home-based career/income, or maybe if it is related to relationships, perhaps it would indicate moving in with a partner?

I looked at all of my SR charts from 2017 to 2028, and the most significant ones I was able to notice in terms of love were 2019 and 2020 which correspond to the transits I noted in the OP (March 29th 2019). I then looked at my progressed chart for my birthday in 2019 and 2020 to see how that corresponds to the SR charts, and I see promising aspects there as well.

2019
Solar Return:
- SR North node in the 4th Conj. N Juno in 11th
- SR DC in my natal first house (therefore SR Asc. in natal 7th house), with SR Vertex/Venus conjunct in the first house
- SR Ascendant in my natal 7th is conjunct SR Lilith
- SR Return Sun in the SR 7th house

Progression:
- Progressed Jupiter conjunct natal NN
- Transit NN Conjunct natal Juno

2020
Solar Return:
- SR ASC conj. Natal Juno
- SR NN opp. Natal NN
- SR 7th house stellium (Pallas, Jupiter, Pluto, Saturn) overlaying my natal 5th house

Progression:
- Progressed moon Conj. sun/moon midpoint
- Progressed Venus trine Natal ASC
- Progressed ASC conj. POF

Charts are attached
 

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detectahead

Well-known member
Gave a reply but it wouldn't post! 35th year look at progressions. Progressed sun conjunct 4th angle and venus. Progressed venus /moon conjunct Uranus in 5th. Asc ruler mercury conjunct pluto. That's your year that something of significance will occur
 

lilithofeden

Well-known member
Gave a reply but it wouldn't post! 35th year look at progressions. Progressed sun conjunct 4th angle and venus. Progressed venus /moon conjunct Uranus in 5th. Asc ruler mercury conjunct pluto. That's your year that something of significance will occur

Thank you for your reading! Ten years from now is a long time... I guess I'll have to wait patiently and see what comes up 😊
 

Taurus9

Well-known member
A lot of time, I have my business-persona on when I meet people on first dates. I have noticed that, so I try to take a more relaxed approach. Though sometimes I feel like I may intimidate some potential partners. Jupiter did bring money, and it was through love that I learned more about my own values and how to approach relationships, and how to set-up boundaries to ensure that I am being respected.

My son has his AC exactly conjunct my IC/Venus by 0 degrees. Anything that happens in my home directly affects him too. When I date, I look for the qualities of a life partner and I consider the type of influence that person will be on my son. Perhaps if I were more care-free about dating I would have a relationship by now lol.

Apologies, I don't know why I mistakenly assumed daughter. With the business persona and the home responsibilities it makes sense. It's just an interesting chart for me astrologically speaking. My IC is in Sag as well so I can relate to feeling at home deep down there, but I can only imagine the Venus and son's AC connection.

Have you ever dated anyone with a Sagittarius Sun? The abstract mind in me thinks this could potentially ultimately be a solution as I have felt most at home in relationship with one.
 

detectahead

Well-known member
I'm sorry that it's not what you want to hear. At this time I would concentrate on your abilities, being a single mom and preparing for your saturn return, another important time in your life. Many people get married at this juncture point in their lives also, move or make important decisions that will effect them the rest of their lives. Believe me I know from experience. I have studied, practiced and empirically observed astrology since my early 20's. I will turn 60 tomorrow. Sun sextile to my venus happened by progression when I was 31 and that is when I married. I choose our wedding date astrologically and my wife and I celebrated our 28th anniversary last April.
 

jkxx74

Premium Member
Hi lilithofeden,

thank you for sharing, your thread has been an interesting one to read. I agree about the Sun-Venus progressions but another way to find strong indicators of meeting someone would be aspects between the progressed Moon and either Venus or the ruler of the natal/progressed 7th house. The 2020 chart shows just this with your prog. Moon aspecting Neptune in its own sign in the 7th.

I don't have access to my usual software where I'm posting from at the moment but if you can post a natal chart with progressions for now it will allow me to give you some dates that might come before age 35.
 

Kannon

Well-known member
lilithofeden,

I was single for over two decades. You'll survive several more years or longer.

As to the astrology, there are a number of ways windows of opportunity for relationships can be opened up. None of them involve asteroids or solar return factors. Saturn and Pluto's transits 21-22 south have aligned in declination at/near parallel to your natal Venus [22S27]. However, because of natal Neptune [21S45] being in that area parallel your Venus, some significant developments changing your worldview and personal ideals are first prioritized so that any experience of Saturn and/or Pluto upon your natal Venus can be a developmental period rather than a traumatic one. Keep that in mind.

In review of previous relationships what did you learn about yourself and about relationships that you want to change?

You've previously experienced (in 2016) Saturn and Pluto 20-21 south in transit parallel natal Mercury [21S04], which would have initiated lessons, study, changes in thinking, etc. Formal education is one thing, but what have you learned through it that could better empower you in relationships too?

If these are not prioritized and learned, you may find your experience of Pluto opposite natal Mars an unpleasant one, characterized possibly by a stronger sex drive with less discrimination or mental clarity about others than you might normally have. This is important to understand, because Neptune will soon begin its transit parallel natal Moon (in Sept) and you'll want to have some mental/spiritual clarity about yourself so as to not believe everything you see through its rose colored glasses.

If your Asc figure is basically correct, then during that time Neptune will also have turned back to be opposite it. It does present a window of opportunity for relationships, but one colored by idealism or lack of clarity. In fact, with prog Mercury-Rx in close parallel with prog Neptune (Asc/DC significators) expect the clarity of your understanding and ideals of any relationship to be tested. The
relationship may start with some kind of apparent imbalance in which one helps the other. Just be sure it moves towards balance not dependency. During that time (Sept-Nov) Jupiter will transit conjunct your Sun. That opens the window of opportunity more. One of the more important things is being honest about what you expect -- or first letting go of any expectations, especially those that may be
unfair to unsuspecting persons looking to meet someone halfway in an authentic way. Involving deception in any way in relationships will only complicate your life in rather unpleasant ways. Start with honesty and stick to your guns.

However, Uranus' approach back into square with natal Mars and Pluto's transit opposite it warn against hard expectations. Expect things to be off-and-on, or to show some volatility that is not sustainable.

Spring/summer of next year (2018) Uranus will transit quincunx (150°) natal Jupiter (co-significator of your DC), and this represents a window of opportunity itself, but which will not be predictable as to exact timing or its nature.
 

Horus

Well-known member
Uranus' placement in H5 (courtship phase) and its hard aspects with Mars and especially the Moon (a planet rather integral to relationship and cohabitation) are what need to be transmuted positively. Healing work on the Moon (particularly as it relates to your mother and the family split during your formative years, where pain was associated to relationship/marriage) will resolve the subconscious block to forming a lasting union.
 

Horus

Well-known member
Thank you for your reading! Ten years from now is a long time... I guess I'll have to wait patiently and see what comes up ��

That's also ("coincidentally") approximately how long it will take for T. Saturn to finish its passage through houses 4-8, Placidus. In ten years it should just be finishing up the 8th, where Neptune will be too. Uranus will be in your 10th near the MC so there may be a change of careers then too...to a home-based business with a partner perhaps?
 

lilithofeden

Well-known member
Apologies, I don't know why I mistakenly assumed daughter. With the business persona and the home responsibilities it makes sense. It's just an interesting chart for me astrologically speaking. My IC is in Sag as well so I can relate to feeling at home deep down there, but I can only imagine the Venus and son's AC connection.

Have you ever dated anyone with a Sagittarius Sun? The abstract mind in me thinks this could potentially ultimately be a solution as I have felt most at home in relationship with one.

It's funny you ask if I've ever dated a saggi. Most of the important people in my life I have noticed are Saggis. My Dad, my son, my ex (son's father), 2 best friends growing up were saggis. I am naturally drawn to them:lol:
 

lilithofeden

Well-known member
I'm sorry that it's not what you want to hear. At this time I would concentrate on your abilities, being a single mom and preparing for your saturn return, another important time in your life. Many people get married at this juncture point in their lives also, move or make important decisions that will effect them the rest of their lives. Believe me I know from experience. I have studied, practiced and empirically observed astrology since my early 20's. I will turn 60 tomorrow. Sun sextile to my venus happened by progression when I was 31 and that is when I married. I choose our wedding date astrologically and my wife and I celebrated our 28th anniversary last April.

I am grateful for your reading - even though I am hoping for something sooner, life doesn't always give you want you want. It gives you what you need. Congratulations to you and your wife on your 28th wedding anniversary!
 

lilithofeden

Well-known member
Hi lilithofeden,

thank you for sharing, your thread has been an interesting one to read. I agree about the Sun-Venus progressions but another way to find strong indicators of meeting someone would be aspects between the progressed Moon and either Venus or the ruler of the natal/progressed 7th house. The 2020 chart shows just this with your prog. Moon aspecting Neptune in its own sign in the 7th.

I don't have access to my usual software where I'm posting from at the moment but if you can post a natal chart with progressions for now it will allow me to give you some dates that might come before age 35.

Thank you for your response and taking the time to look at my chart! I have attached the progressions for today. :joyful:
 

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