Read my chart please.

Hello.
I've been desperate and unhappy for very long time. I have some economic and emotional problems. In addition, i failed in school last year. I do not want to go to school, or work or stay at home, just want to a new direction for my life but do not know what i can do.

I wonder if these problems are temporary or permanent. What are my skills and potentials? How can i get rid of this situation and feel better?

I will be happy if someone help me to understand my chart.

Sorry for bad English.

Hi Ovagasyu. I'm sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you.

There are a few things in your chart that seem relevant to your post. Perhaps the most important thing is the fact that Pluto is in the first house, ruling the ascendant, and closely aspecting Venus, the Sun, Mercury, Mars and Saturn - and more widely the Moon. All of these planets apart from Mercury aspect one another, including a t square from Pluto to the Venus Saturn opposition.

All of this suggests that you cannot simply skate along the surface of life in a carefree manner, but rather that you are challenged to explore the depths of yourself and the world in general. To the extent that you gradually take up this challenge, you can tap into tremendous resources and cultivate a profound sense of tranquility. You will need to be patient with yourself - the fruits of meeting this challenge will emerge gradually over time. I think it is good that you are able to hide away from the world while it feels so overwhelming, but try not to use this solitude as an escape from yourself, perhaps see it more as a safer way to explore the feelings and emotions inside you.

The very strong emphasis on the last quarter of the house cycle (the 10th, 11th and 12th houses) suggests that ultimately you will gain much from involving yourself in one or more groups/societies/collectives. While this doesn't necessarily need to involve very much social interaction, you will find that you at least have more choice in this as you heal your inhibitions. Its important with these three houses - perhaps in way which doesn't seem to be such an issue with the other 'social houses', the 7th, 8th and 9th - that you maintain a sense of authenticity when you do start to engage more with one or more groups. In this way you will find such interaction truly fulfilling.

The New Moon in Virgo suggests that you probably tend to be very self-critical, and perhaps you expect that you will be criticised by others if you engage with a group of any kind. This Virgo energy will help you to keep your integrity in tact in your social interactions - but can be very inhibiting if you are scrutinising everything that you do. With the Moon just into its new cycle, there is a danger that your Virgo propensity to notice where things could be better organised will come out in quite a subjective way. It could be that at times when you have been involved in some kind of group that you have tended to be overwhelmed by a need to start fixing things, and that this has added to difficulties with fitting in. You are potentially a very useful member of any group, but perhaps try to see that other people need to deal with things (or not deal with them, as the case may be) in their own way.

With Venus in Leo, your capacity for self-worth and self-love comes through developing and expressing that which is special about you. With Venus being part of the t square, and with Venus being in the 10th house, its possible that there was some issue with your mother that has made it more difficult for you to fulfil these needs. Perhaps she felt that life denied her the experiences that she needed in order to feel valued and loved for who she is. There may have been some 'unspoken rule' that you weren't/aren't allowed to have self-esteem and to enjoy relationships because this would have hurt or angered your mother.

With the Uranus-Neptune conjunction in the 3rd house, you could use your time away from other people to learn about Uranus-Neptune type things. In this way, your mind could lift you out of your immediate concerns and help you to understand the world in a very different way. Of course the personal issues will still need to be dealt with - but you of all people don't need to be reminded of this. Whether its Buddhism, sacred geometry, or whatever, allow yourself a bit of escapist learning to remind you that there is always more to life than meets the eye (or perhaps more accurately that there is always a different way to look at everyday life). The close square from Uranus-Neptune to Jupiter in Libra adds to your need to broaden your understanding in this way, as does Jupiter's placement in the 12th house. With Mars involved too, and with the need of Saturn Pluto to tear down old structures in the name of growth, it is likely that you will want to fight for a cause or two at some point in the future, when you feel able to.

I hope this adds something to your understanding of your situation. There may be a few words you need to look up since English isn't your native language, but hopefully it will make some sense. Let me know if there's anything you'd like me to try to clarify, or if any questions arise as you read the above.

Best wishes,

Hi,

To this temporary part:
Saturn is now on 24. degree of Scorpio, so it is in conjuciton with your Pluto, and square with Venus and Saturn. So this might be quite hard period of life.
Transits of Saturn are about restriction, deepness, melancholy, solitude. It could be hard, but as hard it is, as much you can gain from it, when you can be strong and humble.
This transit touches your emotional, secret and passionate self (Pluto). Your family and housing (Saturn), and your career, meaning of life, feelings, love (Venus).
It is good to realize, that this transit will ends soon.

Note: I am a novice in Traditional Hellenistic Astrology



Yeah, indeed this chart looks quite unfortunate. The main issue is the undignified Mars in the 12th house, in conjunction with an evening rising Mercury in the same sign, in a day chart. This is likely the main cause of the "emotional" problems you have.

Here is what Maternus has to say about this Mars:[bold emphasis mine]

Now, there were no examples in Mathesis, but there is a fleeting mention of a technique that was used extensively during the medieval times that may be applied here. Lord of the 2nd House (which rules over one's money and finances) is Jupiter. This Jupiter is in the same 12th House, afflicted by Mars, the malefic out-of-sect. This is slightly mitigated by the fact that Jupiter is in his own terms (using Maternus's terms). This is one of the forms in which the "losses" mentioned in the passage manifests. So, it is not surprising that you are having economic issues with such a combination.


Using a time lord technique called the "Decennials" which is outlined in Mathesis, it seems that the Moon was (and still is) the time lord when you failed school last year. In your natal chart, the Moon rules over the 9th house, which has higher education as one of its significations. Let's look at the condition of the Moon. It is out-of-sect since this is a day chart, it is undignified, and it is combust, although it is in the 11th house of the Good Spirit. All this means is that the Moon is somewhat poorly placed, which causes problems in 9th house areas when she is the time lord, including your schooling problems.

This Moon period began when you were around 10 years and 7 months old, at around 21st April 2004, if my manual calculation is correct. You may have been having a hard time since that time until now. The Moon period ends at around 25th November 2014.

After that the Moon passes over rulership to Mercury, so it seems that your higher education problems will quiet down subsequently. Unfortunately Mercury is with Mars in the 12th house, so there will be other kinds of problems, and it seems that your "emotional" problems is here to stay. I recommend that you sign up for counseling, and if that does not work, seek medical advice.


As for your talents, Venus seems to be the most prominent in your chart. The problem with it is that it is out-of-sect and undignified. Still, I would say that you have some artistic talents, and would be okay along those lines. Music, acting, writing fiction or poetry, maybe cooking, visual arts, sculpting, dealing with women, dealing with things made to beautify like jewellery or makeup, these kind of things.

Thank you all for readings.
I read your replies three times and used dictionary. I think i understood completely. Your comments are correct and really define me. I think feeling depressed is part of my character, independent of circumstances.
I can not hope about the future anymore. The best way for me is submission.

Thanks a lot again.

Hi. While some degree of submission can be useful in the healing process, you are nor fated to always experience these difficulties. I tried to speak about your chart in terms of the particular healing path that you are on, but it seems that in your present state of mind you find it difficult to have confidence that your difficulties could lead to anything positive. Also there's the problem of English being your second language, and Larxene's very fatalistic approach will feed your tendency to feel powerless. It might be worth you reading through my post again when you are feeling a little more optimistic.

As I also have long term depression, one of the things I tried that works is meditation. There are different types of meditation. The basic idea is to go to a quiet place, sit down comfortably, close your eyes and focus on one thing only. Usually many people recommend to focus on your breathing. Breathe slowly and deeply. Do this for like 10 minutes every day, and see whether you become calmer.

For myself, I practise a kind of meditation called Dharana. The only thing that is different is that instead of focusing on the breath, I imagine one of the five tatvas (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tattva) and focus on the shape.

The trick to doing meditation really well is to really push your focus so deeply that you can only "see" that one thing you are focusing on. For me the feeling is similar to when I am sleepy. If you do this correctly for at least five minutes, and you set an alarm clock to ring after five minutes, when it rings you will be shocked by the sound. It's like you were in a different world before the alarm rings, then suddenly you get pulled back into the real world.



Apart from that, as I said, you are probably good in arts. Most likely doing things related to arts will help you calm down and be happy.



Remember, even if you "submit" to your "fate", there are still choices to make. There is still free will. You may be good in arts, but there are many different kinds of arts. Drawing, painting, singing, cooking, acting, etc. There are things that are within your control, and so you need to make a choice in those areas. Don't worry about what you do not have, focus on what you have and make the best out of it.

Miquar,
Actually, i am not such a pessimistic person. Full moon in Sunday affected me badly, it happened on my natal moon position, 26 Virgo. I cried all Sunday and Monday and now i feel better. You expressed so many things about my chart very well and yours or others' comments did not make me feel sad. Thanks again.

Larxene,
I do meditation regularly but i don't think it is a help for depression. Thank you for the method you adviced but i suppose it is not suitable to my religion.

Hi. That's good to hear, and thanks for your feedback, too.