My mom's chart: Diagnoned with BPD, addiction and depression.

G

GreenAwareness

Member
Hi guys,

Link ASTRO chart: https://imgur.com/Bm4pjyT

This is my mom's chart. Can you guys see the disorders in it? What would an empty 12 house mean?

I made a post with my chart as I am scared of having her same issues but I didn't get a response. I guess understanding my mom would help understand me better.

Thank you
 
S

Sagcap88

Well-known member
Have you read up on Shari Schreiber’s site? She also does awesome YouTube videos. She is great for helping you recover from having a BPD parent. She is very straightforward but her work has been very healing for me. It takes time to absorb but it’s amazing. Stay strong. You can overcome your mom’s issues by doing honest to goodness core trauma work. It’s a painful process but you’ll be better for it.

Also, Alice Miller’s book “The Drama of the Gifted Child” is a must read for those with disordered parent(s).

Sending you luck!
 
S

Sagcap88

Well-known member
By the way, there are four kinds of Borderlines: Waif, Queen, Hermit, and Witch. It might be very helpful to identify which sort your mom is. Some people are combinations.

A lot of Cancerians have BPD. Very unfortunate. Your mom strikes me as having Queen traits thanks to the abundance of Leo in her. It looks like she’s made a habit of burying darker emotions and any unpleasant truth, reserving her worst for her family and letting her rage fly in the privacy of her own home.

Her Cancer sun in the last degree is the crankiest possible time to be born (read up on Anaretic degrees — Jewel Mayberry has a good vid about it on YouTube.) I think you’re going to see the worst traits of Cancer come out in her.

Her Taurus south node tells me that she’s pretty set in her ways and not likely to ever truly heal. Most with BPD don’t even though healing is possible with work.

The fact that you don’t want to be like her means that you are conscious and have a choice in your destiny. You can overcome this. Definitely. Just keep on and don’t give up!
 
G

GreenAwareness

Member
Sagcap88 said:
By the way, there are four kinds of Borderlines: Waif, Queen, Hermit, and Witch. It might be very helpful to identify which sort your mom is. Some people are combinations.

A lot of Cancerians have BPD. Very unfortunate. Your mom strikes me as having Queen traits thanks to the abundance of Leo in her. It looks like she’s made a habit of burying darker emotions and any unpleasant truth, reserving her worst for her family and letting her rage fly in the privacy of her own home.

Her Cancer sun in the last degree is the crankiest possible time to be born (read up on Anaretic degrees — Jewel Mayberry has a good vid about it on YouTube.) I think you’re going to see the worst traits of Cancer come out in her.

Her Taurus south node tells me that she’s pretty set in her ways and not likely to ever truly heal. Most with BPD don’t even though healing is possible with work.

The fact that you don’t want to be like her means that you are conscious and have a choice in your destiny. You can overcome this. Definitely. Just keep on and don’t give up!
Click to expand...

OMG Just read the website and when she talks about the 4 types. My mom is the queen to the T. Of course I see the 3 other aspects in her too, but The Queen is the most dominant. My mom is not that much of a Witch. She never personally attacked my sister and I and was very rarely mean to us. The thing is, my dad was our shield, and all of my mom's rage/anger was directed at him. I suffered much more because of their fights, my dad's suffering, fear that my mom my die or embarrass than direct abuse per se. My dad is amazing though, and even though he got divorced and re-married he still takes care of her. I def. think that if my dad was not resolving her problems than maybe she'd put the blame on us. I feel like "I hate you, don't leave me" describes my mom's relationship with my dad to a T. She is still much more attached to him than to my sister and me. They have a Karmic relationship - insane how much they are interwined and connected. She can go a month without talking to me or to my sister but if my dad shuns her, she goes crazy. He has acted as her father figure for so long - and she was extremely close who her father who died when she gave birth to me.

My mother and father's relationship is so karmic. They were next door neighbors and my dad fell in love with The (Enthralling) Queen when he was 10. The Queen had too many suitors at the time and after being engaged to 4 different guys married my dad at 23. He was, obviously, the only one who would never leave her. My dad has the caregiver personality so it was the perfect match for disaster.

It's such a karmic relationship that my grandfather never liked my dad. My mom was his precious little Queen. The most beautiful and perfect of all. My dad was not good enough for her as nobody would be. However, when he was dying, his last wish was to talk to my dad. He only muttered the words: "Please take care of my daughter" and died. My dad took that really seriously. They are both 60 now and he's been re-married for 10 years but he still takes care of her. My stepmom takes care of her too. Lol. It's funny in a way. But yeah, they are tied forever. I'd really love to cross their charts but I'm such a novice that I don't think I'd understand anything. It's weird because I feel like my dad also has a strong attachment to her - not romantic at all but I guess as the girl he knew since he was 10 and the mother of his kids?

My mom has mellowed out now that she turned 60. I think only age/maturity could mellow her as like you said, on her 20-50's nothing could stop her from disaster. She never wanted to get better, she never admitted to having a problem, my dad was always the problem of her emptiness.

I remember such a distinct memory when I got confused at which side to believe in. My mom would look at my dad's phone bills like a maniac and try to convince me he was a cheater. I was about 10. My dad nevers spoke badly of my mom, was ALWAYS there for us, was a mom and a dad and also a father to my mom. So of course I "chose" the side quickly.

Would you take a look at my chart?
I'm a quadruple Aries (including the Sun and the Ascendant) and my Moon is in Capricorn. I have some squares but no opposition to the moon. I don't have cancer in any of my houses houses, but I do have 1 Pisces and 1 Scorpio - not in the most important placements though. Fire is dominant in my chart: 4 Aries and 2 Saggs but no Leos. I don't like the Leo personality. I think it is alreasy dramatic, histrionic and proud by nature. My mom always used to say she was a Leo - she was born in July 22. She wanted to be a Leo. I also have 2 Capricorn and 2 Geminis. My only Earth sign is Capricorn (twice) and my only water air sign is Gemini (2).

Anyways, link to my chart I tend to be a lot more neurotic, anxious, panicky than have BPD like emotions. I fear becoming a bad mom though.

Anyways, here is my chart:

https://imgur.com/a/q2eRFcw
 
R

RisingSag

Well-known member
I don't know what an empty 12th house means, but the t-square with her moon opposite her saturn squared by pluto sounds incredibly tense, and she's probably experienced a lot of loneliness and pain. I don't know for sure if saturn would represent her father, but the moon would represent her mother, so for sure, issues around her mother are at play. Pluto being negatively expressed, which is easy to slide into with hard aspects, can point to abuse. Her venus is also close to her pluto, pointing to her to have very intense emotions and passions. Thankfully, her venus is somewhat distanced from the moon/saturn opposition alleviating the some of the pressure of a t-square of such a challenging combination of emotional and challenging planets It is pretty close to her pluto though! And in Leo!
Negatively expressed, Leo is melodramatic. Like, Courtney Love melodramatic!

I know it's easy for people to say this, but please work to find a way for these words to resonate with you. Your mother's story isn't necessarily your story.

Good luck! Peace and Love!
 
Last edited:
S

singlestar

Active member
Your mom has a problem with her past and probably her mother and it means she must most overcome some fear to use probably more body language more than words.
in her past, she was too practical.
Not only material is important also show emotions.
She is personal strict. Or has official issues with authorities.
She needs to be strict and disciplined.
She most let go of what she loves and of her past and probably her family or mother. Things are emotional in her life.
She is social. But history could be interesting for her and write down a diary.
And have a hobby with a history of collecting stamps. Something with feelings.
She can go back in time and is gifted and can do regression. Or regression could help her further in life and help her heal her wounds. She could lose a loved one. She is sensitive. She wants to do something with her intuition or learn it. That means perhaps she tries to figure things out or try to find how to say things to talk about how she feels and find words for it.
I think to go to the church and read the bible was actually very good for her. I saw today sheep and noticed how social animals they were that when you are near them you feel social. This social gathering can be good for your mother. She needs it.
 
S

Sagcap88

Well-known member
GreenAwareness said:
OMG Just read the website and when she talks about the 4 types. My mom is the queen to the T. Of course I see the 3 other aspects in her too, but The Queen is the most dominant. My mom is not that much of a Witch. She never personally attacked my sister and I and was very rarely mean to us. The thing is, my dad was our shield, and all of my mom's rage/anger was directed at him. I suffered much more because of their fights, my dad's suffering, fear that my mom my die or embarrass than direct abuse per se. My dad is amazing though, and even though he got divorced and re-married he still takes care of her. I def. think that if my dad was not resolving her problems than maybe she'd put the blame on us. I feel like "I hate you, don't leave me" describes my mom's relationship with my dad to a T. She is still much more attached to him than to my sister and me. They have a Karmic relationship - insane how much they are interwined and connected. She can go a month without talking to me or to my sister but if my dad shuns her, she goes crazy. He has acted as her father figure for so long - and she was extremely close who her father who died when she gave birth to me.

My mother and father's relationship is so karmic. They were next door neighbors and my dad fell in love with The (Enthralling) Queen when he was 10. The Queen had too many suitors at the time and after being engaged to 4 different guys married my dad at 23. He was, obviously, the only one who would never leave her. My dad has the caregiver personality so it was the perfect match for disaster.

It's such a karmic relationship that my grandfather never liked my dad. My mom was his precious little Queen. The most beautiful and perfect of all. My dad was not good enough for her as nobody would be. However, when he was dying, his last wish was to talk to my dad. He only muttered the words: "Please take care of my daughter" and died. My dad took that really seriously. They are both 60 now and he's been re-married for 10 years but he still takes care of her. My stepmom takes care of her too. Lol. It's funny in a way. But yeah, they are tied forever. I'd really love to cross their charts but I'm such a novice that I don't think I'd understand anything. It's weird because I feel like my dad also has a strong attachment to her - not romantic at all but I guess as the girl he knew since he was 10 and the mother of his kids?

My mom has mellowed out now that she turned 60. I think only age/maturity could mellow her as like you said, on her 20-50's nothing could stop her from disaster. She never wanted to get better, she never admitted to having a problem, my dad was always the problem of her emptiness.

I remember such a distinct memory when I got confused at which side to believe in. My mom would look at my dad's phone bills like a maniac and try to convince me he was a cheater. I was about 10. My dad nevers spoke badly of my mom, was ALWAYS there for us, was a mom and a dad and also a father to my mom. So of course I "chose" the side quickly.

Would you take a look at my chart?
I'm a quadruple Aries (including the Sun and the Ascendant) and my Moon is in Capricorn. I have some squares but no opposition to the moon. I don't have cancer in any of my houses houses, but I do have 1 Pisces and 1 Scorpio - not in the most important placements though. Fire is dominant in my chart: 4 Aries and 2 Saggs but no Leos. I don't like the Leo personality. I think it is alreasy dramatic, histrionic and proud by nature. My mom always used to say she was a Leo - she was born in July 22. She wanted to be a Leo. I also have 2 Capricorn and 2 Geminis. My only Earth sign is Capricorn (twice) and my only water air sign is Gemini (2).

Anyways, link to my chart I tend to be a lot more neurotic, anxious, panicky than have BPD like emotions. I fear becoming a bad mom though.

Anyways, here is my chart:

https://imgur.com/a/q2eRFcw
Click to expand...

I think being an Aries w/ Aries rising was your saving grace. Being a fire sign, the most fiery one out there, they bounce back easily. They’re resilient. Your moon in Capricorn also shows that you’re naturally emotionally stable — it also shows that due to your mom’s inability to be a true mother due to her BPD, that you were forced to amputate a lot of your emotions so as not to inconvenience her (example: she probably couldn’t tolerate you crying when you fell and scraped your knee so you learned that you had to remove that emotion from your repertoire to survive.)

I don’t think you’re a Borderline by the sound of it. The fact that you empathize with your dad, who is a People Pleaser, says that you decided to be like him, not your mom. I’d also guess that your sister got it worse and may be more turned like your mother.

So again, nothing in your chart says you’re like your mom. But I do think you’re a People Pleaser, like your dad. I was a People Pleaser, too. Shari’s articles and videos helped me recover. You can do this. It’s important because for those of us who became people pleasers, we unwittingly increased our likelihood of marrying someone like our disordered parent. And we don’t want that!

Also, if you leave a comment on Shari’s YouTube videos or talk too her on Twitter, she generally replies quickly. She’s extremely honest and doesn’t sugarcoat things which makes her a great person to help you heal. And it’s free! Also, again I recommend The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller.
 
G

GreenAwareness

Member
singlestar said:
Your mom has a problem with her past and probably her mother and it means she must most overcome some fear to use probably more body language more than words.
in her past, she was too practical.
Not only material is important also show emotions.
She is personal strict. Or has official issues with authorities.
She needs to be strict and disciplined.
She most let go of what she loves and of her past and probably her family or mother. Things are emotional in her life.
She is social. But history could be interesting for her and write down a diary.
And have a hobby with a history of collecting stamps. Something with feelings.
She can go back in time and is gifted and can do regression. Or regression could help her further in life and help her heal her wounds. She could lose a loved one. She is sensitive. She wants to do something with her intuition or learn it. That means perhaps she tries to figure things out or try to find how to say things to talk about how she feels and find words for it.
I think to go to the church and read the bible was actually very good for her. I saw today sheep and noticed how social animals they were that when you are near them you feel social. This social gathering can be good for your mother. She needs it.
Click to expand...

OMG a lot of on point in this.

She lost her father when I was born and he was the most important person in her life. At least that’s how she tells me and I’ve heard she was a show part at his funeral - she doesn’t even remember being there. She never really talked about her mom though. She died when I was 7 and my sister was born and I don’t remember seeing her more than twice in my life. My mom wasn’t close to her and she had been depressed since the death of her husband. I remember hearing from my dad that her mother gave her away for her sister because she was the 4th child. But, from conversations it seems like she just had two moms and she called her aunt her “second momma”. Her father was obsessed with her and spoiled her too much. He never said no to her ever. She has a pretty good relationship with her siblings and they were able to help us when they could - but they def. did not take her problems for them - that was my dad who had to do. My dad got quite successful and rich even though he had to take care of two little girls and a BPD wife. The fact he made a lot of money made her siblings think everything would be ok because she married to a very rich men. Sometimes my mom helped her siblings more than they helped her. Her older brother would probably me the exception. His wife was exactly like my mom but she actually fell from a balcony (suicide) and my two boy cousins are close to my mom because I guess they see their moms in her?

My mom had a tatto with my name, my sister’s name, and the two older boy nephews. She also has a tattoo oh St. George and my dad is actually called George. They are divorced but my dad is a father to her and he’s the one who takes care of her. Him and his wife, my stepmother. She had to understand that in order to be with my dad, she’d have to accept that his e-wife/mother of his kids would always be a big part of his life. It’s not a romantic relationship at all though - my father has been my mom’s father as her father’s dying wish was to talk to my dad. When my father arrived at his deathbed he made sure my dad would promise to take care of his daughter. He still does. He was in love with her since he was 10 - so they’ve known eachother all their lives. My dad is a caregiver through and through and I believe he cleaned up so much of her mess and stayed with her for so long that it made her disorder worst. She got better once they divorced.

My mom is extremely social and was the light of the party before she got sick. Now she prefers to hangout at home with her husband and travel around the country. She likes nature and loves reading. She is an excellent writer. On her crisis, she’d right these huge letter for my dad and I to explain how awful her past was. I don’t think she has the commitment to finish a book or a diary, she doesn’t really commit to anything. I’ve always wanted to write a book about her myself because her life is quite fascinating and it’s insane how much she played with fire, with risk taking activity and just never got hurt. Her health has always been perfect. I like to say she probably have the hardest worker guardian angel and I think she’ll outlive a lot of people.

She’s 60 now and definitely more mellow. I guess she has lasting affects on my sister and I and in my dad, but the worst from her has been over for quite a few years and she gets more chill and less destructive the older she gets.

It was actually quite a happy ending. My dad and I would never believe in a million years she’d be alive at 60 and not alone alive but giving him less stress and giving me no stress. Our relationship is great, it’s not deep but whenever we hangout we laugh and chat and get along really well. My sister, who’s a Scorpio, have a harder time forgiving her than I do. My sister is colder with her 1 and more similarly to her too. I’m more practical like my dad and we both just really forgive and forget so easily. Not that we don’t hurt people when we are mad but we forget in 30 mins. My sister is a Scorpio full of emotions so her and my mom had a stronger bond and now, a weaker relationship. It has always been my dad and me. Since realising the whole dynamic (my sister is 7 years younger and we shielded so much from her. When she was around 10 it was exactly when my mom started improving so she preferred my laidback do everything you want mom than my controlling and super protective father. Until she got back from her freshman year in college and saw my mom with drug dealers, drugs and acting insane. That was my mom’s last crisis and had a lasting impact on my sister. She has no idea that it was our reality for years on end.

Did what I write made sense with out charts?
 
G

GreenAwareness

Member
Sagcap88 said:
I think being an Aries w/ Aries rising was your saving grace. Being a fire sign, the most fiery one out there, they bounce back easily. They’re resilient. Your moon in Capricorn also shows that you’re naturally emotionally stable — it also shows that due to your mom’s inability to be a true mother due to her BPD, that you were forced to amputate a lot of your emotions so as not to inconvenience her (example: she probably couldn’t tolerate you crying when you fell and scraped your knee so you learned that you had to remove that emotion from your repertoire to survive.)

I don’t think you’re a Borderline by the sound of it. The fact that you empathize with your dad, who is a People Pleaser, says that you decided to be like him, not your mom. I’d also guess that your sister got it worse and may be more turned like your mother.

So again, nothing in your chart says you’re like your mom. But I do think you’re a People Pleaser, like your dad. I was a People Pleaser, too. Shari’s articles and videos helped me recover. You can do this. It’s important because for those of us who became people pleasers, we unwittingly increased our likelihood of marrying someone like our disordered parent. And we don’t want that!

Also, if you leave a comment on Shari’s YouTube videos or talk too her on Twitter, she generally replies quickly. She’s extremely honest and doesn’t sugarcoat things which makes her a great person to help you heal. And it’s free! Also, again I recommend The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller.
Click to expand...

I just wrote about this before reading your post.

My sister is definitely more similar to my mom (Scorpio with so many Scorpios). I would not say she got the worst of it though because she was so much younger (7 years) and me and my dad shield her from everything (and her nanny). I did have an advantage of live the nightmare and understand very clearly how much she was struggling too and my dad always made sure I knew she was just sick and not a bad person and that I should never hate my mom. I truly never did. Today I’m 100% sympathetic to her. My sister is Jess so. She understands my mom much less and with so many Scorpios on her chart she doesn’t forgive easily. She is much less prone to anxiety/panic attacks and while I’ve taken sertraline and some Xanax since I was 16 after my first panic attack, she has never needed medication - she’s 23. She’s also much more of an artist and laidback while I’m more high strung and uptight.

Rationally, I’m 100% sure that I’m not BPD. I’ve been in therapy for 15 years and was always reassured that I had my own diagnoses: anxiety and panic attacks. They even explained that my disorder is almost in the opposite spectrum of my mom’s - I’m very neurotic where she can become psychotic (not classic, hallucinations psychotic but BPD emotionally unstable).

I def. control my emotions. The only time I ask for help is when I have a strong panic attack. I normally keep my emotions to myself even though I’m so open about everything else. I don’t like to show weakness and believe that focusing and talking about it will only make me more anxious. So I try to resolve it on my own until it explodes into a panic attack - then I go to my dad for help. I would say I don’t have panic attacks to often anymore. Maybe once a year. Last year was harder since I couldn’t work because of my greencard’s waiting period. I had two panic attacks last year.
 
G

GreenAwareness

Member
RisingSag said:
I don't know what an empty 12th house means, but the t-square with her moon opposite her saturn squared by pluto sounds incredibly tense, and she's probably experienced a lot of loneliness and pain. I don't know for sure if saturn would represent her father, but the moon would represent her mother, so for sure, issues around her mother are at play. Pluto being negatively expressed, which is easy to slide into with hard aspects, can point to abuse. Her venus is also close to her pluto, pointing to her to have very intense emotions and passions. Thankfully, her venus is somewhat distanced from the moon/saturn opposition alleviating the some of the pressure of a t-square of such a challenging combination of emotional and challenging planets It is pretty close to her pluto though! And in Leo!
Negatively expressed, Leo is melodramatic. Like, Courtney Love melodramatic!

I know it's easy for people to say this, but please work to find a way for these words to resonate with you. Your mother's story isn't necessarily your story.

Good luck! Peace and Love!
Click to expand...

Thank you so much for your nice words. I just wrote about my mothr’a Relationship to her mother and you make so much sense. She suffered a lot of losses. Her parents died when she was fairly young, so did her second mom. Before having my sister and I she carried 3 babies to full term. 1 was stillborn and the other two, twins, died because they were premature and lived only for a few days.

She did have me and then my sister after and I never understood why she couldn’t focus on the good things that life gave her and not just keep recounting her losses.
 
S

Sagcap88

Well-known member
GreenAwareness said:
I just wrote about this before reading your post.

My sister is definitely more similar to my mom (Scorpio with so many Scorpios). I would not say she got the worst of it though because she was so much younger (7 years) and me and my dad shield her from everything (and her nanny). I did have an advantage of live the nightmare and understand very clearly how much she was struggling too and my dad always made sure I knew she was just sick and not a bad person and that I should never hate my mom. I truly never did. Today I’m 100% sympathetic to her. My sister is Jess so. She understands my mom much less and with so many Scorpios on her chart she doesn’t forgive easily. She is much less prone to anxiety/panic attacks and while I’ve taken sertraline and some Xanax since I was 16 after my first panic attack, she has never needed medication - she’s 23. She’s also much more of an artist and laidback while I’m more high strung and uptight.

Rationally, I’m 100% sure that I’m not BPD. I’ve been in therapy for 15 years and was always reassured that I had my own diagnoses: anxiety and panic attacks. They even explained that my disorder is almost in the opposite spectrum of my mom’s - I’m very neurotic where she can become psychotic (not classic, hallucinations psychotic but BPD emotionally unstable).

I def. control my emotions. The only time I ask for help is when I have a strong panic attack. I normally keep my emotions to myself even though I’m so open about everything else. I don’t like to show weakness and believe that focusing and talking about it will only make me more anxious. So I try to resolve it on my own until it explodes into a panic attack - then I go to my dad for help. I would say I don’t have panic attacks to often anymore. Maybe once a year. Last year was harder since I couldn’t work because of my greencard’s waiting period. I had two panic attacks last year.
Click to expand...

The thing that has held true for me is that my own anxiety and panic attacks were the result of controlling my emotions. Once you’ve survived childhood, you won’t feel like a whole person unless you experience all emotions. Panic attacks are like your feelings breaking free of the constraints you’ve put on them. I also have a Cap moon so I know the struggle! I’m still learning that all of my feelings are valid and it’s okay to express them. My anxiety became so bad that I got hooked on anxiety meds. This article is helpful: http://www.sharischreiber.com/anxiety.html
 
S

singlestar

Active member
GreenAwareness said:
OMG a lot of on point in this.

She lost her father when I was born and he was the most important person in her life. At least that’s how she tells me and I’ve heard she was a show part at his funeral - she doesn’t even remember being there. She never really talked about her mom though. She died when I was 7 and my sister was born and I don’t remember seeing her more than twice in my life. My mom wasn’t close to her and she had been depressed since the death of her husband. I remember hearing from my dad that her mother gave her away for her sister because she was the 4th child. But, from conversations it seems like she just had two moms and she called her aunt her “second momma”. Her father was obsessed with her and spoiled her too much. He never said no to her ever. She has a pretty good relationship with her siblings and they were able to help us when they could - but they def. did not take her problems for them - that was my dad who had to do. My dad got quite successful and rich even though he had to take care of two little girls and a BPD wife. The fact he made a lot of money made her siblings think everything would be ok because she married to a very rich men. Sometimes my mom helped her siblings more than they helped her. Her older brother would probably me the exception. His wife was exactly like my mom but she actually fell from a balcony (suicide) and my two boy cousins are close to my mom because I guess they see their moms in her?

My mom had a tatto with my name, my sister’s name, and the two older boy nephews. She also has a tattoo oh St. George and my dad is actually called George. They are divorced but my dad is a father to her and he’s the one who takes care of her. Him and his wife, my stepmother. She had to understand that in order to be with my dad, she’d have to accept that his e-wife/mother of his kids would always be a big part of his life. It’s not a romantic relationship at all though - my father has been my mom’s father as her father’s dying wish was to talk to my dad. When my father arrived at his deathbed he made sure my dad would promise to take care of his daughter. He still does. He was in love with her since he was 10 - so they’ve known eachother all their lives. My dad is a caregiver through and through and I believe he cleaned up so much of her mess and stayed with her for so long that it made her disorder worst. She got better once they divorced.

My mom is extremely social and was the light of the party before she got sick. Now she prefers to hangout at home with her husband and travel around the country. She likes nature and loves reading. She is an excellent writer. On her crisis, she’d right these huge letter for my dad and I to explain how awful her past was. I don’t think she has the commitment to finish a book or a diary, she doesn’t really commit to anything. I’ve always wanted to write a book about her myself because her life is quite fascinating and it’s insane how much she played with fire, with risk taking activity and just never got hurt. Her health has always been perfect. I like to say she probably have the hardest worker guardian angel and I think she’ll outlive a lot of people.

She’s 60 now and definitely more mellow. I guess she has lasting affects on my sister and I and in my dad, but the worst from her has been over for quite a few years and she gets more chill and less destructive the older she gets.

It was actually quite a happy ending. My dad and I would never believe in a million years she’d be alive at 60 and not alone alive but giving him less stress and giving me no stress. Our relationship is great, it’s not deep but whenever we hangout we laugh and chat and get along really well. My sister, who’s a Scorpio, have a harder time forgiving her than I do. My sister is colder with her 1 and more similarly to her too. I’m more practical like my dad and we both just really forgive and forget so easily. Not that we don’t hurt people when we are mad but we forget in 30 mins. My sister is a Scorpio full of emotions so her and my mom had a stronger bond and now, a weaker relationship. It has always been my dad and me. Since realising the whole dynamic (my sister is 7 years younger and we shielded so much from her. When she was around 10 it was exactly when my mom started improving so she preferred my laidback do everything you want mom than my controlling and super protective father. Until she got back from her freshman year in college and saw my mom with drug dealers, drugs and acting insane. That was my mom’s last crisis and had a lasting impact on my sister. She has no idea that it was our reality for years on end.

Did what I write made sense with out charts?
Click to expand...

What I see is your mother has a quick suddenly change in her emotions that can come uncontrolled out of nowhere. Nobody says that is easy. You can that way not control your feelings. Emotions can suddenly come up out of nowhere and trigger her mind and she needs therapy. But there are many different kinds of therapy. Therapy is to relax.
She needs security. Then she is relaxed. In her case, I would not just suggest a food bath but more than what make secure. In her case that could be gifts of some kind.
Nice flowers for example. But it must also be practical. That could give her the comfort she needs.
In her case therefor what could be a good thing to feel come back to earth could be aroma therapy as you see for example on this site; aroma.

I know smell brings us back in knowing and is much more in humans developed then science ever will know or admit or recognize. I know this from my own experience in life my self and it amazes me what smell really is and it is very special. But science teaches us differently.

So do not think low of it. They talk about an aromatic massage.
This could help her further on her path and understand herself better than read all that stuff on the internet about constellations. That is a bit abstract and understood by astrologers but if you just read that and not see the real natal chart it can also cause confusion.

Sometimes a good understanding comes from meditation. So let things just go through you to give it a chance to be understood also.
What your mother in her natal need is a real deep research. I do not know if she ever had had that. Sometimes prejudice in our society does not do the work well in society and then things get no attention that should have to get attention and are ignored and remained unnoticed. We all must forgive our past as soon we see people do not know everything and make mistakes to.
But first, we need more inside about our selves. That is the first thing that is important. Tho you could read about the aspect Neptune sextile Pluto and understand she talks with light and inspiration so you can feel relieved.
If she was a pastor she would be a good pastor. But for a woman that is normally not allowed I think. But then you get somehow an idea. Yet, she could bring light in politics and so that to inspire people as well. Do not see her as BPD. That heals people. See what she is and has just as a gift from god that perhaps not is understood by people always. Psychology onl looks at the outside what happes and make a diognose. That is all. They probably give medicine but not what people really need like recognition for just who you are and that that is fine and just ok instead of the inprint of being crazy and not taken serious as if you do not know what you are doing. This has a preasure on people feelings and that goes to the brain and that is not what we need because we need to be released from that preasure on our feelings so it do not go to the brain. So , to get recognition I sugest aromatic therepy. Just to feel wonderfeel for who you are. Tell her that.
 
G

GreenAwareness

Member
singlestar said:
What I see is your mother has a quick suddenly change in her emotions that can come uncontrolled out of nowhere. Nobody says that is easy. You can that way not control your feelings. Emotions can suddenly come up out of nowhere and trigger her mind and she needs therapy. But there are many different kinds of therapy. Therapy is to relax.
She needs security. Then she is relaxed. In her case, I would not just suggest a food bath but more than what make secure. In her case that could be gifts of some kind.
Nice flowers for example. But it must also be practical. That could give her the comfort she needs.
In her case therefor what could be a good thing to feel come back to earth could be aroma therapy as you see for example on this site; aroma.

I know smell brings us back in knowing and is much more in humans developed then science ever will know or admit or recognize. I know this from my own experience in life my self and it amazes me what smell really is and it is very special. But science teaches us differently.

So do not think low of it. They talk about an aromatic massage.
This could help her further on her path and understand herself better than read all that stuff on the internet about constellations. That is a bit abstract and understood by astrologers but if you just read that and not see the real natal chart it can also cause confusion.

Sometimes a good understanding comes from meditation. So let things just go through you to give it a chance to be understood also.
What your mother in her natal need is a real deep research. I do not know if she ever had had that. Sometimes prejudice in our society does not do the work well in society and then things get no attention that should have to get attention and are ignored and remained unnoticed. We all must forgive our past as soon we see people do not know everything and make mistakes to.
But first, we need more inside about our selves. That is the first thing that is important. Tho you could read about the aspect Neptune sextile Pluto and understand she talks with light and inspiration so you can feel relieved.
If she was a pastor she would be a good pastor. But for a woman that is normally not allowed I think. But then you get somehow an idea. Yet, she could bring light in politics and so that to inspire people as well. Do not see her as BPD. That heals people. See what she is and has just as a gift from god that perhaps not is understood by people always. Psychology onl looks at the outside what happes and make a diognose. That is all. They probably give medicine but not what people really need like recognition for just who you are and that that is fine and just ok instead of the inprint of being crazy and not taken serious as if you do not know what you are doing. This has a preasure on people feelings and that goes to the brain and that is not what we need because we need to be released from that preasure on our feelings so it do not go to the brain. So , to get recognition I sugest aromatic therepy. Just to feel wonderfeel for who you are. Tell her that.
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Could the shift have been when she started using drugs? That’s when she lost control of her emotions completely.

She went to the best therapist and rehabs in the country. Nothing ever worked. The only thing that worked was when she realized that my dahee, even divorced and with someone else, would always take care of her and would not leave her alone. I just don’t get why she needed to drive him so mad to come to that conclusion only after she sabotaged her life. But I think that’s the answer. She tested my father until the end to know if the security was there.

She seems to be doing very well now and the nature thing - so true. She’s always going on really exotic trips and going on hikes. Her trips are all about nature.

It used to be all about shopping or feeding whatever você she had at the time. Shopping and drugs were her main ones.

The reason I believe my mom is BPD is because I can sense her struggles in her personality. It’s not something she can medicate and turn off. It’s always been with her. Some things made it worse (addictions) and somethings made it better (therapy and meds) but it was always there. When she stopped drugs her problems did not go away. She was still incredibly troubled and would switch one risky behavior to another. We could say it was Bipolar or Depression but I don’t feel like her mania episodes were typical Bipolar. They were triggered by drugs or risky behavior. Bipolar/BPD is one of the hardest diagnosis to pin down as they are so similar. But I’ve known my mom for 31 years and my strong intuition is that she’s BPD - The Queen subtype. I’ve talked to a lot of children of BPD parents and read a lot about it. Of course maybe it’s not that or it’s more than that but I see that as her underlying disorder. Take drugs out of the equation, put her on bipolar meds - the BPD personality is still there.

Like I see she seems to have finally found peace. I did read the BPD gets weaker when people reach a certain age. My mom is 60 and I think it has brought her some sense of maturity and security. I’m so happy that she has found peace. It makes me happy. My biggest worry is how her BPD can defect me and my future children. So a little selfish I’d guess?
 
ardentika

ardentika

Well-known member
I'm gonna say her disorder comes from her North Node in Scorpio 8th house ONLY. And this is why.

I have the same position and 2y ago I too was diagnosed with Borderline.. Bipolar and depression. The North Node will make the native seek a spiritual path, dig deep in his own psyche and let go of anything that doesn't serve them. All faulty beliefs. And she is right on that path. This mental issue will make her visit a psychiatrist and make any pain she stored throughout her life come out and it will be a painful process for sure but very liberating and healing. I do believe she CAN recover but it will take a lot of time and support. I do advice you to seek spritual healers as they will do more for her rather than a normal psychologist. This is what helped me and what keeps helping me. Pills are the worst possible choice with this position, please trust me on that.
It will be a constant process in her life, but once she learns how to control it , it will change her life. They say about people with such position of NN "God will hesr their faintest cries". She is MEANT to experience a methaporical death of her old self and a birth of a new identity and this is how she will do it. I believe she can heal herself but you need to somehow explain all this to her and give her hope. Be her messanger of light.
I have an empty 12th house so I can tell you this is a bonus. This will help her even more to recover and I so strongly believe she will love spiritual practices.
 
S

singlestar

Active member
GreenAwareness said:
Could the shift have been when she started using drugs? That’s when she lost control of her emotions completely.

She went to the best therapist and rehabs in the country. Nothing ever worked. The only thing that worked was when she realized that my dahee, even divorced and with someone else, would always take care of her and would not leave her alone. I just don’t get why she needed to drive him so mad to come to that conclusion only after she sabotaged her life. But I think that’s the answer. She tested my father until the end to know if the security was there.

She seems to be doing very well now and the nature thing - so true. She’s always going on really exotic trips and going on hikes. Her trips are all about nature.

It used to be all about shopping or feeding whatever você she had at the time. Shopping and drugs were her main ones.

The reason I believe my mom is BPD is because I can sense her struggles in her personality. It’s not something she can medicate and turn off. It’s always been with her. Some things made it worse (addictions) and somethings made it better (therapy and meds) but it was always there. When she stopped drugs her problems did not go away. She was still incredibly troubled and would switch one risky behavior to another. We could say it was Bipolar or Depression but I don’t feel like her mania episodes were typical Bipolar. They were triggered by drugs or risky behavior. Bipolar/BPD is one of the hardest diagnosis to pin down as they are so similar. But I’ve known my mom for 31 years and my strong intuition is that she’s BPD - The Queen subtype. I’ve talked to a lot of children of BPD parents and read a lot about it. Of course maybe it’s not that or it’s more than that but I see that as her underlying disorder. Take drugs out of the equation, put her on bipolar meds - the BPD personality is still there.

Like I see she seems to have finally found peace. I did read the BPD gets weaker when people reach a certain age. My mom is 60 and I think it has brought her some sense of maturity and security. I’m so happy that she has found peace. It makes me happy. My biggest worry is how her BPD can defect me and my future children. So a little selfish I’d guess?
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Ok. Your mother has a problem with body language.

Like showing love and care.

She might start talking instead of showing her feelings towards others.

Your mother is afraid to examen things. Psychiatrists could actually scare her.
You share the same instinctively fear. If you confront with each other you meet both the same fear in each other. Fear can cause triggers in the head. Therefore I say it is good to do some therapy to relax the nerves of the brain. We do not know why the instinct reacts on certain impulses.
It could be partial karma to lean too much on the practical and material sight of life that now is asked to look more at the inside and inner emotions what not necessary need to be easy for the both of you but you can not always just buy comfort as many people think some things need emotional attention. In that case, we seek the deeper meaning of life. But it can scare us. Because we lose what gives us comfort perhaps or with what we feel comfortable. You could read a book about becoming uncomfortable like intrigue things or how to deal with the thing that intrigues us like jealousy in relationships. Relationships need emotional being also in balance. It is not just a house but also the living in it and the emotions we share for example. We like to buy our comfort. Many women try that with a man and settle and think things are ok. In that case, we forgot to give our emotions not enough room and place and that cause trouble eventually.
 
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