Temporary Loss Of Willpower?

Looking for some thoughts on what is contributing to my feeling less driven, less capable, and disempowered in my current job. Recently my will is constantly being thwarted and despite my best efforts something unexpected always throws a wrench in the structure of my plans. To add insult to injury I'm embarrassed about lacking resources to achieve success at work; I've always been competent, disciplined and have risen to positions of leadership. I have never felt as small and disrespected as I do at this time. A part of me feels like its part of the maturing process that I focus on more than just my status but it is a terrible blow to my ego to feel insignificant. From your observation what could be contributing to this standstill? Is it temporary or am I stuck with a lack of drive for quite some time? It has intensified in the past month but began in October of last year.

I have attached my natal and transit combined, however let me know what you need from me (additional context, progressions, etc) in order to best engage with me. Thank you so much in advance! I do tarot card readings for those that would like an exchange.

Looking for some thoughts on what is contributing to my feeling less driven, less capable, and disempowered in my current job. Recently my will is constantly being thwarted and despite my best efforts something unexpected always throws a wrench in the structure of my plans. To add insult to injury I'm embarrassed about lacking resources to achieve success at work; I've always been competent, disciplined and have risen to positions of leadership. I have never felt as small and disrespected as I do at this time

this sounds like your saturn square to mars acting up
but as this began last year, it may have to do with superiors especially if there were so "run ins" in december of last year.
your moon/pluto midpoint is opposed to jupiter so you may have unconsciously been too inflexible or you may have shown a ambitious strek that rubbed a higher up the wrong way.
the potential for these dynamics to flare up again was likely around march /april of this year.

you chart shows you to be extremly intellignet and physically desirable so could there be an element of a shunned suitor inn the dynamics, likely a superior.
you are also exceedingly psychic but therefore you are also easily influenced by psychic energies. has anyone new entered your workplace?
my feelings are tha you have under some type of psychic attack that is bringing these despondent feeling up in you.

rahu

rahu said:

Looking for some thoughts on what is contributing to my feeling less driven, less capable, and disempowered in my current job. Recently my will is constantly being thwarted and despite my best efforts something unexpected always throws a wrench in the structure of my plans. To add insult to injury I'm embarrassed about lacking resources to achieve success at work; I've always been competent, disciplined and have risen to positions of leadership. I have never felt as small and disrespected as I do at this time

this sounds like your saturn square to mars acting up
but as this began last year, it may have to do with superiors especially if there were so "run ins" in december of last year.
your moon/pluto midpoint is opposed to jupiter so you may have unconsciously been too inflexible or you may have shown a ambitious strek that rubbed a higher up the wrong way.
the potential for these dynamics to flare up again was likely around march /april of this year.

you chart shows you to be extremly intellignet and physically desirable so could there be an element of a shunned suitor inn the dynamics, likely a superior.
you are also exceedingly psychic but therefore you are also easily influenced by psychic energies. has anyone new entered your workplace?
my feelings are tha you have under some type of psychic attack that is bringing these despondent feeling up in you.

rahu

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Much of that is accurate. Everything has been regarding problems with superiors and my ambition. I entered an HR position for the military this time last year. Everything was buzzing along until around October entered a new female HR2 who wanted her knowledge and process to be the only one and used many aggressive techniques to bully people into it as well as manipulation to win them to her side. As I am very insistent upon intellectual independence in order to be successful at my job I have been more thorough, dug harder, been more technically correct and overall keep things in order and efficient. I have come a long way having known zero about how the military works coming in.

Somewhere around December **** hit the fan and we engaged in power struggles. She began nitpicking everything I did, attacking my character, anything to discredit me. Our boss did zero to stop it. But with every attempt I exposed BS through logic, intuition, and a genuine desire to do well. It has been absolutely draining dealing with knowing I cannot trust people and not knowing precisely how to assert myself in a way that I maintain my position but do not create resistance in other people. The intensity of feeling powerless made me wonder if a transit or progression is activating my chart. Because the HR2 eventually got demoted but enter a new "superior" for me on the military side who doesn't listen, doesn't learn, and as hard as I work and as often as my judgment proves sound he undermines my efforts. My coworkers have undermined my efforts as well. So I feel its not coincidence that the same themes are arising through several people and the limits of control and self esteem are really being tested. I have much to learn from this but as I stated earlier the process hurts and I am afraid I wont achieve success if I make concessions with people who would rather see me gone or doing poorly. Given that its a theme I feel going somewhere else will cause the same flare ups so I want to work through this as much as I can.

And yes I've had some periods where I've taken on the feelings of the entire group. I sense everything and so it is hard to be one person transforming the unconscious of collective issues let alone also take effective action against it. It has helped me to keep a pulse on everyone's motivations and creates such an awareness that I am not completely a duck sitting in water when I don't have concrete evidence immediately. I've had to let go of a lot of beliefs and approaches since December. In your opinion do you see an end to this period approaching or is it to be in effect longer?

Focusing solely on your mentioned timing, T Sat triangulated your natal Merc 90 Mars into a quadraYod (aka Thor's Hammer) by 135'ing each end of the square. The mental negativity part of this experience dissipates by mid-Aug and the physical frustration about 6 to 8 weeks thereafter.

Doesn't help that before and during portions of your mentioned period, T Uran has been triangulating your Sun oppo Nept into a T-square.

hi

oh oh

the military is quickly degenerating as the upper echeleons grub for money and power.you seem to be too principled to remain in your current situation.
as you have probably read the militiary is ignoring and fosterig sexual abuse and sexual assaults, so the function of HR is really meaningless. i wouldtry to change your employment situation. but conditionswill improve for you but it won't likely be until september as then the powers that be will be in your corner.

rahu

Caprising said:

Your progressed sun has recently changed signs into Leo, being ignored and unappreciated will really cheese you off right now, Leo likes to shine and be seen/noticed (this effect will fade somewhat). Your prog. moon (in Scorpio) is coming to a conjunction with your natal/progressed pluto intensifying your feelings for a month or 2. The transiting nodes are going to conjunct this moon/pluto conjunction as will trans saturn in about 8 weeks, by then you should have worked out if you can live with the current conditions or not! Transiting Uranus (in Aries) is hovering around your progressed descendant, so expect someone to verbal you unexpectedly, or you could blow up at someone...or both! How are things going at home?

I would definitely like a tarot reading from you, your natal chart points to you having good skills in this area!

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Hello sir! I'll say certainly this moon is steamrolling me. Several of the themes I am encountering find their origin in Scorpio. The chick has Scorpio Venus conjunct Pluto, new military superior is Scorpio sun and mars, plus several of my coworkers have plutonian and Capricorn/Saturn signatures. When **** has hit the fan I've noticed these signatures were activated. However I wonder if it is the moon or a feature of Saturn on my sun and T sat being ruled by mars.

The Leo does not resonate. Yes the disrespect I feel is related to my pride in career matters, however this is a characteristic of mine prior to this time. I am also angry at myself when I cannot get something right or having someone else praised for not spelling something wrong when I genuinely do so much more. I will say with trepidation that recognition and success has come more easily previously...like despite other things happening in my life I could always fall back on throwing myself into my career and reputation. Any blow to that shakes the very foundation of my confidence. Having said that, I do recognize how little sophistication I've had in career matters until now. My strategy has been to follow rules and excel at it or rebel against it, and if it has always worked how often does one stop and say "hey this may not be effective in the real world." But I'll get off my soapbox now.

Home is fine although my desire to have a social life has been buried until recently. Home is more a place of retreat and where I re energize and contemplate lately. I'm a lot more grounded, assured, respected, and appreciated in this domain.

Marinka said:

A quick glance at your chart and it looks like transiting Jupiter is corresponding to the dates that you mentioned.

Jupiter had been conjuncting with Venus (14 degree) and Mercury (18 degree) which was likely to bring opportunities and the capablility/drive to succeed/show results. When Jupiter was conjuncting Venus, people would like you and pay attention to you. The same when Jupiter was conjuncting Mercury, people would listen to what you had to say and you would not need to be forceful.

Things changed a little as Jupiter moved thru more of Gemini, it squared Mars (21 Pisces) and at that point, it's likely people's perception of you changed. You were likely to be a tad more argumentative since the conjunction of Venus and Mercury were behind you, there was no longer the magic quality of people listening to anything that you had to say with little effort on your part.

As Jupiter moves thru more of Gemini, it comes to the 28th degree and at this degree it opposes both natal Saturn and Uranus. Probably indicating a decision and maybe a very quick (and possibly rash one). Happening pretty much at this time.

Shortly, Jupiter moves into Cancer and in your chart, will be conjuncting Chiron and after that the sun. With the conjunction of Chiron by Jupiter, watch for a door to open.

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That makes sense that it has been aggravating the natal Mars-Saturn/Uranus square Rahu was picking up on. The Mercury square to Mars may be floating in as well. We'll see what happens as Jupiter in Cancer will also oppose my Neptune. I'm really looking forward to a return to stability. It seems this has been a perfect storm with much of the transits and progressions funneling into this area one after another starting with Uranus in Aries, and Saturn in Libra on my Sun, MC, Venus and Mercury. The landscape continues to change so maybe I just need to sit this one out, reflect, and wait for a better time to present myself.

rahu said:

hi

oh oh

the military is quickly degenerating as the upper echeleons grub for money and power.you seem to be too principled to remain in your current situation.
as you have probably read the militiary is ignoring and fosterig sexual abuse and sexual assaults, so the function of HR is really meaningless. i wouldtry to change your employment situation. but conditionswill improve for you but it won't likely be until september as then the powers that be will be in your corner.

rahu

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Thanks again rahu. I was elected to serve as President of my Toastmasters organization and plan to use some of the opportunities there to network. I'm just hoping for this funk to pass. Looks as if 2014 is more promising based on the predictions. Like my Capricorn aunt says I'll have to "press on with pride."