Careful there though, that is still manipulation. If he's being socially inconsiderate, that's fair game, but "if he doesn't make you happy with 'blah'" and you punish him with an unfavorable response, that's manipulation.
Well, I don't see it as manipulation if I flat out tell him why I am behaving a certain way. I do understand what you mean though. Pluto square Venus is a nasty little beast. I am working on controlling her. It's a total praying mantis sort of placement. I think the beauty of having Air Moon signs is that there really isn't much of mincing words. I don't do the "what's wrong dear?" "nothing...." God, I want to slam people in the face that play that game. If people could read minds then they wouldn't ask, so either say what's bothering you or let it go!
I wondered how a Mars sq Mars synastry would play out. I would have figured that the two people would have incompatible energy cycles - one is a morning person, the other is not, etc. Typically Pluto is the planet of control, and if the composite indicates Pluto in negative aspect to any personal planet, there are control issues. How does your composite look?
Our energies are slightly different, but not too far off. He goes to bed earlier than I do but we both wake up around the same time. I think I have a higher energy level than him in general, but he also has the Aries AC, so he is always on the move which I sometimes just want to do nothing and hibernate (I think this is my Uranus / Moon opposition.. makes me moody and I need to withdraw to recharge).
In our composite we have Pluto trine Venus, which is nice. I feel it always and I like it. It's like a mutual healthy obsession with each other. We also have Pluto opposite Moon. I am not sure how that would play out. If the negative side to this aspect, it would be my doing. He is very trusting, not controlling and very optimistic. It is something I have to be conscious of in order to control (with anyone that I am in love with, not just him). I do think our feelings run deep though. Our composite Pluto is Rx in Libra, so luckily it's in a peacemaker sign. The Aries Moon fits. Just get it off your chest and move on. No need to dwell on negative energy. Come to an agreement and move on.
I would think someone with Pluto in the 7th of their own chart would attempt to control all their personal relationships, but I guess it depends on the sign and how it is aspected too. If he has a weak Juno then he may give in to everything to avoid conflict. A weak Mars could do the same. Your Venus sq Pluto would mean control on your end with regards to how you expect to be cared for and responded to.
His Pluto is Rx, so maybe it's directed inward as opposed to externally. He is a control freak at times (like he wants to make all the plans for something, he wants to drive.. I HATE driving so that works, he wants to negotiate costs and bills, etc.), but I like it because I get really irritated when I have to be the one to make everything happen. He has Mars square Pluto and Pluto trine Moon. His Mars is in weak Cancer and his Moon is Aquarius. Pluto is in Scorpio, which rules his 8th house. I wouldn't say he avoids conflict. I think he has learned that he doesn't get anywhere with me by being aggressive and then emotionally guilting me. I have a Libra Mars so I really could care less about the whole theatrics of how mad you are. I find entertaining when people blow up. It means that you can't keep your cool. When he starts to lose his temper over nothing and I point it out he actually says, "you're right..." and scales it back. I think if I didn't have Mars in Libra then it would be a total war between us for sure.
Venus square Pluto is definitely not my prettiest side. I have let down a lot of guards in this relationship. I have learned to realize he isn't trying to "one up" me or get one over on me, etc. I have my moments where I relapse into a bad mental state and my mind takes over. I've learned to just shut my mouth and to THINK before REACTING. I like knee jerk reacting when something is upsetting me (Sun/Moon/Uranus T Square).
If anything, anything negative in our relationship in terms of control and manipulation is all me. Anything having to do with selfishness may be him. But I can be selfish too. I was an only child for 10 years.
