Will I ever have a long-term relationship?

moonwitch

Active member
Hi:

As you can see by the chart, I'm middle-aged, and I have never had an LTR. I'm wondering if it is still possible or whether it simply isn't a good idea - that any relationship I have will be unhappy.

I'm interested in modern, traditional and Jyotish views if anyone cares to have a look. I'd read it myself but I have a terrible time reading my own charts and this issue has become somewhat emotionally heavy for me.

My natal chart with progressions is attached.

Thanks very much for any feedback.

moonwitch
 

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katydid

Well-known member
I am actually a bit surprised that you have never had a long term relationship yet. With your Venus, exalted in Libra, in a Grand Trine with Moon and Jupiter, i’d think you had many opportunities to date. :love:

What happens when someone is interested in you?

Having the moon in Aquarius in the 7th, opposing Mercury in Virgo, can be problematic. You might be very picky and a bit too critical?

What do you think the problem is? :unsure:
 

katydid

Well-known member
I wouldn’t say that any relationship you enter would be unhappy.

But there is an internal conflict. The co-rulers of your 7th house, Saturn and Uranus, are opposing each other, from the 2nd and 8th.

What is that about? It seems that there have been suitors interested in you, but you have an inner conflict that seems to push others away, as a self protection mechanism?
 

Claire19

Well-known member
Your 7th of partnerships and long term relations is AQuarius and ruled by Uranus in Virgo along with your Sun, which is a sign that is often single, independent but can have a work relationship of some kind. Uranus can be an erratic and unconventional sign that needs freedom. If you have not had a long term marital relationship it is because you basically do not want it. What you put out, you get back.
However there is an influence for a long term female friend or best friend who can be an Aquarian type. You would do best to live in a de facto or unmarried partnership where you can both be free to express yourselves in whatever way without legal strictures or socially conventional situation.. I also think there are control issues especially around money and finances and secret dealings or losses.
 
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moonwitch

Active member
Hello:

Thanks to everyone who responded.

But there is an internal conflict. The co-rulers of your 7th house, Saturn and Uranus, are opposing each other, from the 2nd and 8th.

What is that about? It seems that there have been suitors interested in you, but you have an inner conflict that seems to push others away, as a self protection mechanism?
Thanks for pointing this out katydid. This made me look at the chart differently and I think I see it more clearly now. The Lord of 7 is Saturn, (the Grim Reaper) found in the 8th house of death, opposing Sun, Lord of the Ascendant.

I see that as meaning that it's possible that any relationship that I enter into will threaten my life which is what has happened in the past. The first person I had a relationship with when I was young (age 18/19) was violent and the second person (age 22/23) went from being my friend to being a "textbook" abuser. When I tried to dial back the relationship to friendship he threatened to kill me. I managed to extricate myself from that situation but he then stalked me for two years.

So this is really what I wanted to know: is every relationship I try to have going to be like that? And now I think I see that it will.

So yes you are correct, except that an opposition will show an external conflict. I simply have not been able to overcome my fear of having my life threatened again and I end up dating people for a few dates and then breaking it off because I can't deal with the tension that I feel. But maybe, given the configurations in my chart, it's a good thing that I haven't followed through.

I have been fiddling with different "formulas" for marriage, including Lilly's aphorisms which don't turn up anything very positive; the method outlined in the sticky on the horary section of Astrologers' Community which basically comes up with nothing (no relationship); and some of the Lots of Marriage, especially ASC + Saturn - Venus (Paulus). This particular lot lands exactly at the Mars/Saturn midpoint and Mars and Saturn are in an exact trine. So together they make a perfect small trine. I can't think of two planets I wouldn't want getting together in terms of a relationship than Mars and Saturn!

So I guess I am doomed in terms of this which makes me really sad. I always thought it would happen at some point but this really looks like it's better off if it doesn't. That's life, I guess. Best to count my blessings.

Thanks again to everyone who replied. I appreciate it very much.
 

Kannon

Well-known member
moonwitch, there is a special relationship for everyone who wants one. The most powerful force in the universe is the desire to love and be loved. We inhibit it only through submerged (or conscious) fear and past life patterns in which such closeness caused us great pain.

One of the challenges in your chart relating to this is Moon in very late Aquarius. This can be a point of great ambivalence regarding the cost of one all-important relationship upon your personal liberties and connections to other persons or things that are important to you. Moon in this very 'cuspy' position knows there is change afoot in developing from an group-connected inner consciousness to one of greater sensitivity, responsiveness, unity, and possibly vulnerability. Moon in Aquarius is also one of those placements that accepts the principle of individuality, but can have trouble with accepting what this means in relating to particular individuals closely.

However, as rahu pointed out, this Moon position is part of a grand trine, which in air signs describes your ability to relate to people very well through the benefics Venus and Jupiter.

The other challenge is the innate Plutonian-Virgoan tendency for retention of the personal power you have developed in your life setup and resistance to change it in a way that could compromise that. Overall, I think you're pretty flexible given the planets in air signs, cardinal and mutable signs in your chart. However, Uranus-Pluto-Sun opposite Saturn frames up an opposition between the principles of your Virgoan liberated and empowered nature and the principle of control (Saturn). It is worth looking at what are the core principles you won't compromise in your personal life setup and what leeway this gives you in relationship. Where could you compromise without losing the ground of personal empowerment?

Another challenge is your impassioned emotions and reactivity. You may protect others from this, but it is there. Moon closely parallel Mars at 16° South induces a stubbornness that can give little understanding to others upon marked disagreement or irritation. This is an aspect of personal freedom and impulse-emotions with marked instinctive responses. Less noticeable, but also an important factor in this declination figure is Neptune [15S27], also parallel Moon and Mars, which allows some development towards a more cerebral consideration of compassion and intuitive wisdom. While you may react strongly first, you are capable of higher reflection.

Jupiter parallel North Node is very helpful, renewing optimism about your future at any time. Recently (and even now) you've been through Neptune's transit square your natal Nodes. This is a time of doubt, misgivings about your current path, even questions about what you future really holds with difficulty imagining scenarios of growth and improvement. You may have even found yourself slipping into regret lingering over missed opportunities. That transit is ends by around Valentine's Day next year.

You've also been going through Saturn and Pluto's transits (about 22° South) parallel your S.Node [21S45]. These three planets in combined influence upon the nodal axis of your chart practically force a reconsideration of your life direction and especially how the past may have involved too much grasp for control. It may be that putting certain experiences from your past into proper perspective and resolution is important now. You may find that there are unresolved matters (or persons) drawing you back to them over the next few years. It is even possible you have overlooked a person with whom you are completely compatible, but couldn't make it work previously.

Again, there is an intimate partnership for everyone who wants one. Uranus is now in transit sextile your natal Moon, and will be a while longer. It's transit activates other points in your grand trine --
Jupiter and Venus (by opposition). This is an opportunity possible to find a partner through a group, particularly with people or a kind of group you may not previously have considered. Uranus in transit opposite Venus is a relationship electrifier, activator -- but with a values changing dynamic. You're probably already finding yourself attracted to different kinds of people than before. Go with it and see what it settles into your life as Saturn moves into the end of Sagittarius, beginning of Capricorn (ending this year).
 

Kannon

Well-known member
moonwitch, there are also pronounced progression factors active in your chart. Contact me by PM or through my site if you want to delve into that.
 

moonwitch

Active member
Thanks very much Kannon. Your interpretation is very impressive; I had no idea you could do that with declinations! I will definitely look into that further.
 
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