What could have caused such gradual and intense transformation in my life?

Trigger warning! Sorry that this is so long but I have a feeling I should post about this somewhere. I’m not sure why but I wanna get this off my chest. I’m Scorpio dominant with Sun, Mercury, Venus, Chiron, Lilith, and Juno in Scorpio. From the ages 11 to 18, it was the most dramatic and long and transformative time of my life and what made me realize that was seeing my little sister grow up and realizing she didn’t have any kind of transformation or dark times during those ages. She just normally skimmed through those years.

During those ages I was in such a dark time of my life. I attempted suicide many times and even overdosed and ended up in the hospital then a behavior center that felt like purgatory and the nurses didn’t treat me well as if I was a animal they would lock me up in a metal box room with a huge metal door and lock it while I sat there by myself so that added onto the trauma. I had a mental breakdown and a psychotic breakdown. Most of it had to do with spiritual beliefs and the older people in it who were manipulating my young mind and taking advantage of me.

I am not sure what in my chart or what transit during those ages and years caused such turmoil and transformation in my life. I could write a whole book during those times and it would sound like a fictional book. But if I had never went through all of that I have a feeling I wouldn’t be here. It’s almost as if I had to have such a dark and dramatic transformation to shake me awake and realize my true potential and optimism and passion. I now have PTSD and an anxiety disorder to this day but I’ve healed so tremendously.

I’m going to college in Psychology and Anthropology to be able to get into Social Work and even other things to help children and I’ve been thinking of becoming a Psychotherapist. I want others to feel safe and happy and content within themselves. I want to produce hope in others. I want to help others transform just as I did.

My chart: https://ibb.co/KwLKBw1

Thank you for writing about your childhood experience, it's so courageous to live through what you did and heal yourself as you are doing. Can you post a chart with progressions for the most pivotal time in your life? You can get that chart in the drop down menu from Astrodienst. In general, your natal chart is pretty reflective of your story, with Mars as chart ruler square Pluto.

Hello MysticalScorpio ,
i´m not going to talk about about the transits but my experience and observation in life and how i see you.
I know how HEAVY scorpio sign , pluto aspects and 8th house can be. Believe me or not everything that happens in life happens for a reason. You having so much scorpio in your chart means transformation. You my friend hold a huge power that scares most people but what people do not know is that scorpio is meant to Purify and Transform.
We are all different and it´s normal that you feel that your sister had it easy but let me tell what you went through was for a reason and that is to Help others accept who they are.
Probably some tematics schun most people and i believe that there is nothing that surprises you.
Getting deep into things is a Scorpio/Pluto thing maybe that´s why you are into Psychology , Psychotherapist and that being in the 7th house (the house of others) says it all. You don´t want to just get into things to but to help others.

I know scorpio can bring obsession , control , abuse , trying to escape reality but people only do that because they go into the opposite direction they should go. Self love, acceptance of what has happen to you was meant to make you grow and transform and help others, Unconditional love (people will always have an agenda but that is for a reason.
We only get hurt because we ilude our selves , we expect too much from others.

Pressure makes Diamonds

You went through something to prevent others like you to have to.

without knowing what time periods you are referring to ,it is impossible to know what transits were occurring.

your chart does have moon conjunct to saturn square to Neptune which can show self destructive behavior... and you have sun square uranus which can show diverse mental problems.
the two patterns together often show some for of self destructive bipolar disorders of some sort.

rahu

Starsareround said:

Thank you for writing about your childhood experience, it's so courageous to live through what you did and heal yourself as you are doing. Can you post a chart with progressions for the most pivotal time in your life? You can get that chart in the drop down menu from Astrodienst. In general, your natal chart is pretty reflective of your story, with Mars as chart ruler square Pluto.

Click to expand...

It takes me a lot to write about it and when I did I start getting bad anxiety and flashbacks but I keep feeling like I need to speak about it to someone. I got my progression chart from the most dramatic time of my life which was April 2016.
https://ibb.co/98RdB4b

rahu said:

without knowing what time periods you are referring to ,it is impossible to know what transits were occurring.

your chart does have moon conjunct to saturn square to Neptune which can show self destructive behavior... and you have sun square uranus which can show diverse mental problems.
the two patterns together often show some for of self destructive bipolar disorders of some sort.

rahu

Click to expand...

Oh I totally forgot about the time periods. It was mostly from 2012-2016. The most worst time of my life where I overdosed and ended up in the hospital was April-October of 2016. I am not sure I have bipolar disorder but my brother who isn't my full brother though is bipolar. I just had to deal with anxiety and depression my whole life. I had no one to talk to about my problems and emotions so I think that made me fully breakdown. I guess my mind couldn't take it anymore at that period of time.

bakalhau69 said:

Hello MysticalScorpio ,
i´m not going to talk about about the transits but my experience and observation in life and how i see you.
I know how HEAVY scorpio sign , pluto aspects and 8th house can be. Believe me or not everything that happens in life happens for a reason. You having so much scorpio in your chart means transformation. You my friend hold a huge power that scares most people but what people do not know is that scorpio is meant to Purify and Transform.
We are all different and it´s normal that you feel that your sister had it easy but let me tell what you went through was for a reason and that is to Help others accept who they are.
Probably some tematics schun most people and i believe that there is nothing that surprises you.
Getting deep into things is a Scorpio/Pluto thing maybe that´s why you are into Psychology , Psychotherapist and that being in the 7th house (the house of others) says it all. You don´t want to just get into things to but to help others.

I know scorpio can bring obsession , control , abuse , trying to escape reality but people only do that because they go into the opposite direction they should go. Self love, acceptance of what has happen to you was meant to make you grow and transform and help others, Unconditional love (people will always have an agenda but that is for a reason.
We only get hurt because we ilude our selves , we expect too much from others.

Pressure makes Diamonds

You went through something to prevent others like you to have to.

Click to expand...

I do not know how to respond to this. What you wrote hit me so close. It made me realize that I am starting to accept what has happened to me and that is was for a reason. But the words you said and I don't wanna sound cliche but it was something I needed to know and read at this time. Your words made me realize a lot and I will keep them close to me and remind myself of them when I need to. Thank you.

Your progressed Moon changed signs at the time you posted, which does indicate an important shift in the natives life, but it happens every 2 and a half-ish years. I'll take a further look soon.

Namaste

What stands out is a T-square (dynamic pattern)
This T-square have the three pillarstones of a chart involved....
ASC, Sun, Moon.
Thus dominating the chart....

T-square
asc conjunct saturn-opposing sun-squaring Moon neptune.
Moon (feelings,emotions, psychology, reactions) is apex in the pattern
with neptune.

The saturn neptune factor in the whole chart and personality becomes a key point to study then. Not an all easy factor.
Ideals vs reality. Practical idealism.
Practical spirituality. Renunciation..the sense of giving up. Quite often present in ascetic people like monks et.c. Struggle between material and idealistic tendencies. The sacrifice.
Ebertin states in negative manifestations of this pair;
Painful and tormenting emotional inhibitations, neuroses.

Probably you need to find ways to work with yourself. Mind is workable. Finding ways to think positive about yourself.
Saturn so dominant in the chart gives probably slow start in life, but more ease and progress as one is maturing and getting older.