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  #1  
Unread 03-12-2017, 11:48 PM
sadge sadge is offline
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Lilith in synastry

Asked this question on another thread, but think it's a good one for creating a new thread.

What do you think about Lilith in synastry? Have you experienced being Lilith or an aspect/connection to another's Lilith? Or perhaps the power (or lack thereof) of lilith. Have you experienced the hard versus soft aspects?

I can definitely appreciate the archetype, and I also know it's positive side too. But one person's experience does not make a fully informed explanation!

So.....your stories and experiences, please.....

Thank you.

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Unread 03-13-2017, 01:21 AM
GeminiGrrl GeminiGrrl is offline
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Re: Lilith in synastry

Quote:
Originally Posted by sadge View Post
Asked this question on another thread, but think it's a good one for creating a new thread.

What do you think about Lilith in synastry? Have you experienced being Lilith or an aspect/connection to another's Lilith? Or perhaps the power (or lack thereof) of lilith. Have you experienced the hard versus soft aspects?

I can definitely appreciate the archetype, and I also know it's positive side too. But one person's experience does not make a fully informed explanation!

So.....your stories and experiences, please.....

Thank you.
I assume that you're referring to Black Moon Lilith rather than the asteroid Lilith, since Black Moon Lilith is the one with which people are most familiar. Since Black Moon Lilith is neither a planet nor an asteroid but rather a fairly minor point in the chart, I would only regard aspects to be important if they are within one or two degrees of orb.

That being said, I have Black Moon Lilith right on top of my Descendant parallel my Sun by declination -- and while I'm inclined to think that this has had an effect on my romantic relationships (and frankly not a good one), I have also been in at least one relationship in which there were aspects between my Black Moon Lilith and my partner's inner planets. My Black Moon Lilith formed a sextile with his Sun, a sextile with his Mercury, and a square with his Venus -- all within less than two degrees of orb. The sexual chemistry between us was extremely strong, stronger than I've experienced with anyone before or since him (but this may have been due in large part to the fact that we also had mutual Venus-Venus, Mars-Mars, Mars-Venus, and Venus-Ascendant aspects). However, I find it significant that the relationship ended because I found out he had not been telling me the truth when he said he was single -- he was still married to his supposed ex-wife who lived in another country and had been romantically involved with at least one other woman while we were together (quite possibly the entire time we were together). When I ended the relationship, he claimed that he had become caught up in something he "didn't have the courage to control" -- which suggests that he saw me on some level as an irresistible temptation.

I also found out after the fact that there were Lilith aspects in both directions (although none in mutual reception) between my chart and that of another former significant other -- at least six of which were within less than two degrees of orb -- but my sexual chemistry with him was significantly less than with the other man, and he seemed to be more sexually inhibited than I am. I sometimes wonder if the hard aspects between my inner planets and his Lilith -- three of which were at less than one degree of orb -- might have been partly responsible, since Black Moon Lilith in a man's chart is thought to represent the kind of woman he finds desirable and at the same time intimidating or even frightening.

Last edited by GeminiGrrl; 03-13-2017 at 01:48 AM.
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  #3  
Unread 03-13-2017, 06:07 AM
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Re: Lilith in synastry

Quote:
Originally Posted by sadge View Post
Asked this question on another thread, but think it's a good one for creating a new thread.

What do you think about Lilith in synastry? Have you experienced being Lilith or an aspect/connection to another's Lilith? Or perhaps the power (or lack thereof) of lilith. Have you experienced the hard versus soft aspects?

I can definitely appreciate the archetype, and I also know it's positive side too. But one person's experience does not make a fully informed explanation!

So.....your stories and experiences, please.....

Thank you.
Well with my ex, the one I talked about(I don't want to give out too much information though), we had amazing sexual chemistry.

He had his lilith opposite my ascendent, square my MC and square my sun. And I don't know his birth time, but him being born in the after noon, there is a chance my lilith is at an opposition at his ascendent and square his MC.
And our liliths squared eachother.

However, the relationship ended as a result of him thinking I cheated and well he brought out a lot of my insecurities and thus me having bulimia afterwards.

So I don't know who exactly played lilith. I could have been adam as I was so insecure and vulnerable or I could have been lilith as he thought I had cheated.

I would get more into depth, if I could private message you but I still cannot, unfortunately.

However, i want to mention another thing that most people don't talk about regarding Black Moon Lilith. Black Moon Lilith stands for kundalini energy, shamanism, tantric sex, daydreaming, creativity, and animalistic magneticism. A part of it anyways, and a huge portion of our relationship was roleplaying, trying out kama sutra positions, meditation, and trying out a particular type of mushroom(psychedelic).

So those themes were very much a part of our relationship. I hope I wasn't too specific.

http://darkstarastrology.com/black-moon-lilith/

I recommend you read this article.
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Unread 03-13-2017, 06:50 AM
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Re: Lilith in synastry

Quote:
Originally Posted by sadge View Post
Asked this question on another thread, but think it's a good one for creating a new thread.

What do you think about Lilith in synastry? Have you experienced being Lilith or an aspect/connection to another's Lilith? Or perhaps the power (or lack thereof) of lilith. Have you experienced the hard versus soft aspects?

I can definitely appreciate the archetype, and I also know it's positive side too. But one person's experience does not make a fully informed explanation!

So.....your stories and experiences, please.....

Thank you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHjpDBpp3cg

This video might be helpful
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  #5  
Unread 03-14-2017, 04:35 PM
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In my experience Lilith contacts in synastry don't create obsession and super intense chemistry. I dated a man one year who has his Mars and Sun closely conjunct my ascendant/lilith/Neptune. His mars is 2 degrees from my Lilith. He has children and he works and travels A LOT. He was really attracted to me and I believe that he felt a stronger sexual chemistry than I did. Even though we were exclusive and he treated me like a princess I felt that he saw me as a lover, not as girl friend material. I definitely experience the Lilith theme in my life but Nessus contacts have a much deeper effect on me.

I guess that we all have different relationship patterns. Whenever someone's Nessus conjuncts my north node I fall in love and I feel obsessed instantly. In my natal chart I have Nessus conjunct my north node. My parents both have their Nessus conjunct my sun, my fathers conjunction to my Sun is exact, so this is a pattern from my childhood. It is becoming easier to deal with though as I learn and evolve from my experiences.

I also feel Chiron contacts deeply.
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  #6  
Unread 03-19-2017, 10:44 PM
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Re: Lilith in synastry

I do not know much about Lilith, but I imagine that it can be channeled into other things than sex. I associate Lilith with a free and natural woman, the kind that men wonīt be able to control and therefore some of them fear her. She wants equality. Men who have had their Sun or Mars conjunct my Lilith/ascendant have seen me as their sexual ideal, they see me as liberated in that area and as an independent, strong and wise woman. But they have difficulties with being in a relationship with me and ask me if we could just meet and have sex regularly.

I am deeply interested in the asteroid Nessus at the moment. I have discovered that I have had a Nessus-Node contact with every guy I have fallen for. With the last man my Nessus was conjunct his South node and his Moon and his Nessus/Saturn is conjunct my Descendent. Most guys have had their Nessus conjunct my North Node. I have to say that I have felt obsessed with them all, itīs difficult to say who feels it more. I do think that the Nessus person is more pushy and “hard” and that the other person is the one who opens up their vulnerability more and may get hurt at a deeper level. But in my experience both people feel the “uncontrolled desire”. The Nessus person may be more prone to simply withdraw all of a sudden.

It is seriously difficult to let go of a strong Nessus connection. I believe that it equals to letting go of a heroin addiction. Some men have contacted me for years after we have separated. Itīs like they canīt live with me and they canīt live without me. If you are able to learn all the lessons the relationship was meant to teach you and you grow past the other person you will let go, but it might take years depending on what they have stirred up within you.

I believe that I feel such a strong connection in these relationships because I feel as if they can see me, feel me and understand me. We connect at a very deep level and sense each other’s wounds. They feel like soul mates to me. They say that Nessus represents the darkest parts of the human soul. The darkest parts of us are our repressed and neglected wounds, hidden within us. When someone is able to touch that part we get triggered and we have the chance to work on healing that part. Being with someone who is able to make us connect with the depth of ourselves makes us feel more whole. I believe that we all long to reconnect with every part of ourselves and that we long to be deeply seen and understood.

Nessus triggers narcissistic behaviors in people. It can make you feel nurtured emotionally, like the person can fill empty places within you that you might not even have known about and that can trigger obsessive, manipulative and controlling behaviors. You may also feel fear of being truly seen and then rejected and that can trigger all sorts of negative defense mechanisms. The worst thing that can happen too me within a Nessus relationship is that the man I am with seems completely obsessed with me and then all of a sudden he turns ice cold and seems to feel contempt for me and as if I don’t matter at all. Some have been hot/cold back and forth. I believe that his theme has to do with the sign and house of my North Node.

In my experience there is nothing in a chart that affects me more than Nessus. Pluto contacts are like a light breeze in comparison.
I do not really understand Chiron contacts well. In my natal chart I have Chiron conjunct Mercury (1 degree) and it is quincunx my Ascendant. Many guys have had their Chiron conjunct my Sun and my mercury/chiron is often triggered as well. I try to communicate with them to fix things and I often say too much or things come out in a wrong way and I feel embarrassed and as if I have ruined everything through my way of expressing myself.

Does chiron contacts hurt both parties involved in your experience?

I also have to ask you if the guy you are dating has his Nessus conjunct any planet or angle in his natal chart?
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Unread 03-21-2017, 08:27 PM
Tla26 Tla26 is offline
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Re: Lilith in synastry

I wonder if you were to look up synastry charts in cases where a woman breaks up another woman's family by having an affair with the husband, if you'd find the homewrecker's L conjunct the IC of the wife or children.
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Unread 03-21-2017, 08:37 PM
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Re: Lilith in synastry

I have read about Nessus on various places and I try to draw some conclusions from my experiences since it is impossible to find definitive truths within the field of astrology.

I have studied the Synastry charts between me and the seven men I have fallen for in my life. The only commonality that I have found is a connection between Nessus and a Node. I have also studied many charts between me and many men that I havenīt fallen for. In my natal chart I have Nessus 10 degrees from my North Node. I might be wrong, but my theory at this moment is that I am drawn to Nessus-connections. I often dream about these men before I meet them or I may for example hear someone speaking about them and then I just know that I will fall for the person they are talking about. The first time I see them I feel as if time stops and it feels as if I could just stare into their eyes for the rest of eternity, it feels like a soulmate connection.

I have never experienced a Nessus conjunct Ascendant connection, only someoneīs Nessus/Saturn conjunct my descendent, opposite my ascendant. He was hot/cold and critical towards my appearance. I imagine that your guy feels a strong desire for your Ascendant, your looks and outer personality.

I read about an experiment with rats. Some rats were given a button in their cage and every time they pressed it they were given food. So they pushed the button when they were hungry. Some rats were given a button that did not give them any effect, the rats lost interest in the button. Some rats were given a button that sometimes gave them food and sometimes it didnīt. Those rats began pushing the button like crazy. They stopped taking care of their hygiene and became obsessed with pushing the button since it was unpredictable.

People who are hot/cold are like the scientists who control the buttons and they can make people feel an uncontrolled desire and obsession. The scientist is in control and receives a boost to their ego when the rat becomes obsessed, but this can lead to an addiction for the scientist to have control over the rat and receive attention. I have noticed that if I manage to become strong enough to not let a scientist control me through their manipulative behaviors and if I lose interest, they can become uncontrolled. But they see it as a game/competition and they don’t want to show any vulnerability. So they may turn ice cold and withdraw if they can. I usually test them. A man who has lost interest and is not playing games is willing to end things in a nice and respectful way if I show him that I accept his decision and respect him and care about him. A man who is playing games will use my intent to be nice to keep manipulating me or to be cruel in some way because he wants to hurt me or because he is defensive and wants to protect himself from feeling hurt. Of course there are also men who simply use people and then throw them away without being affected at all, they feel mere contempt for the person they have used. That is what many “rats” fear about the scientist, that the scientist is not affected at all and that the interest from the scientist was just a game with no feelings or empathy involved.

I believe that things can turn out in many ways. When your Nessus was conjunct someoneīs Sun, he kept trying to make you give him food, and you did various times. He probably felt your reluctance and felt that he could not rely on you giving him food and that made him go after the button frenetically and try to find ways to make you give it to him. The thing is that both the Scientist and the Rat can feel like the victim in the scenario. And sometimes one of them or both of them does not feel anything for the other.

I have read that the asteroid Nessus has a lot in common with Pluto, but it is even darker.

I didnīt know that Nessus is connected to STD:s, itīs interesting to hear. Itīs also interesting to read your info about Chiron, I am used to Chiron contacts and I have learnt to be vulnerable no matter what. Itīs the risk one needs to take to be able to experience intimacy.

Thank you so much for sharing info about Mercury conjunct Chiron, you gave me a new perspective on that aspect. Your daughter seems very sweet and I love to know that there are many sweet children out there, they are our future. It is certainly not difficult to trigger my feelings of shame or hurt me with critique. I acted above my age when I was a child and I am also afraid of hurting others through my communication. I would rather sacrifice my own pride and get wounded myself than hurt someone else. I also have Neptune conjunct my ascendant, Venus in Pisces and Venus and Mars square Neptune as well as Venus quincunx Saturn so I have had to struggle with my codependency. Itīs painful for me to know that there are people in this world who wants to hurt others and feels satisfied by it.

In my experience, a planet conjunct Nessus does have an influence, but it all depends on the level of awareness of the person.

Mars and Saturn conjunct Nessus might make him critical, he might have temperamental issues and attack others verbally or physically if some deep triggers are activated and he might be controlling. I know of one man with Mars and Nessus on his Ascendant who does not understand womenīs rights to having sexual boundaries and on rare occasions he explodes with anger. They all seem like calm and nice men when you donīt know them, but they have their issues beneath the surface. One man I know of with Sun/Nessus/Nemesis/Saturn wants to control his partner, she is not allowed to do anything without his permission. I also know of a man with Venus and Jupiter conjunct Nessus, he is a player and a sex addict. A man with mercury conjunct Nessus hurt me a lot with his critique and his mindgames. My guess is that Nessus in Gemini can give a hot/cold behavior.

I myself have Nemesis conjunct my Mercury and Chiron, she is the goddess of revenge. She does not like it when people treat others unfairly. When I am deeply wounded or if I see someone else get hurt I feel a strange mix between the unconditional love and my desire to save the world with the urge to strike down upon the offender with my critique. I can feel that I want to find a weak spot in their ego and punch a hole in it and make them feel pain. I do not like it when someone abuses someone else and then they walk away calmly and they don’t care about what they have done; they live in their own bubble and they are not affected. They are the opposite of me, I feel everyoneīs pain. I am learning how to give people some necessary truths in a soft way that may plant a seed within them.

Oh my, this turned into a very long response
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Unread 03-22-2017, 01:37 AM
Tla26 Tla26 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sadge View Post
You know what's crazy? This other guy who caught my attention has his Lilith in conjunction with my hubby/partner's moon.
Crazy! The moon and Venus represent the female aspect so for your husband, the moon represents you. I love how astrology shows everything!
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Unread 03-22-2017, 02:53 PM
GeminiGrrl GeminiGrrl is offline
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Re: Lilith in synastry

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Originally Posted by Tla26 View Post
I wonder if you were to look up synastry charts in cases where a woman breaks up another woman's family by having an affair with the husband, if you'd find the homewrecker's L conjunct the IC of the wife or children.
Since Lilith in a woman is often associated with what could be described as primitive feminine sexual energy, I might be inclined to think that a woman who becomes the catalyst for the end of a marriage would have her Lilith conjunct the husband's IC rather than the wife's since he's the one who's interacting directly with the "other woman." At least as often than not, the wife never meets the "other woman" -- and might not even know about her at all -- until long after the damage has been done.

Actually, contrary to what a lot of people might think -- and what a lot of women tell themselves -- it's rather unusual (statistically speaking) for the husband to leave his wife for the "other woman." If the "other woman" succeeds in luring the husband away from his wife -- especially if she intentionally set out to do so -- it would not surprise me to learn that her Lilith either falls on his IC or his Descendant since this would probably suggest to him that the "other woman" can satisfy him more than his wife can. I think it might also explain her desire and her ability to tempt the married man away from his wife and claim him for herself.

Last edited by GeminiGrrl; 03-22-2017 at 03:11 PM.
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Unread 03-22-2017, 04:53 PM
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Re: Lilith in synastry

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Originally Posted by sadge View Post
Oh, I get it now why you're attracting the nessus boys. It's your north node..... and the fact that you have your own nessus close by. I bet there's another draw via rulerships if you take another look. Does your node or nessus make contact with any of your angles?

The "obsession" quality and magnetic pull is amplified by your nodal energy being activated. That's what gives you the "time stops" feeling too.

You should check if any of these nessus boys simultaneously contacted your south node too.

So clearly nessus does indeed play a significant role in your developing soul and life path. Before I understood that you drew nessus to your node, but the placement of your own nessus there explains much more.


My node or nessus is not conjunct any angle, but I have North node and Nessus in my seventh house. Most of them have had their Pluto square my north node and my south node. All of them have had some connection to my south node. Thank you for confirming my belief
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Unread 10-23-2017, 12:39 PM
Christina33 Christina33 is offline
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Re: Lilith in synastry

Hi, I'm new to astrology, and would like a little guidance with understanding Lilith synastry.

My lilith in Scorpio is in conjunction to my bf's sun, moon, mercury, venus and jupiter.

His lilith in Capricorn is in conjunction to my saturn, uranus and neptune.

Could someone please break down the effects this would have on the relationship?

Thanks heaps!

My personal input on this is - this is by far the most intense relationship I've ever been in. Deeper and more exciting than anything I've ever experienced in my life. We cant get enough of each other... and although when we fight (from his jealousy - he's a scorp... we always somehow come back stronger - I'm a cancer. And sometimes I feel he just fights with me for validation lol) With so much water in both our signs there is an insane amount of intense emotion in the relationship
but somehow the water soothes it and calms the intense feelings. I easily lose myself in him, but im trying these days to be more balanced with life outside of him.

We cannot seem to let go of each other.. even when I was initially dating someone else for a year - I started dating my ex when I first started talking with my new bf - he waited a year for me to end things with this guy and said how he will always have room for me in his life... so I'm just curious if it has to do with our liliths being in such strong alignment.

Last edited by Christina33; 10-24-2017 at 10:31 AM.
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Unread 10-23-2017, 05:11 PM
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Red face Re: Lilith in synastry

Sadge, I was born with Aqua BML opposite Leo Mars rising.
My former fiance has Leo Moon conj my Mars and NN conj my ASC--and opp my BML.

She is one of my two most powerful resonant lovers; our interpersonal chemistry is sizzling HOT!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sadge View Post
Asked this question on another thread, but think it's a good one for creating a new thread.

What do you think about Lilith in synastry? Have you experienced being Lilith or an aspect/connection to another's Lilith? Or perhaps the power (or lack thereof) of lilith. Have you experienced the hard versus soft aspects?

I can definitely appreciate the archetype, and I also know it's positive side too. But one person's experience does not make a fully informed explanation!

So.....your stories and experiences, please.....

Thank you.
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Unread 10-23-2017, 09:46 PM
creepingcreepily creepingcreepily is offline
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Re: Lilith in synastry



in one of my current relationships I can kinda feel the affects of Lilith, (and nessus) my Liliths sextile her Venus and conjunct her waldermath (I generally use all five liliths, and honestly can't tell which is which in the chart) while, her Lilith conjuncts my moon, Mars and, sextiles my sun, and Venus. her Nesuss also aspects almost all my personal planets. our relationship is rather strange, it tends to be very intense emotionally and, with the kind of people we are it was incredibly unlikely for use to have a relationship.

Honestly tho, with my Liliths in the seventh, I always tend to feel Lilith undertones in my relationships.
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Unread 12-04-2018, 11:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tla26 View Post
I wonder if you were to look up synastry charts in cases where a woman breaks up another woman's family by having an affair with the husband, if you'd find the homewrecker's L conjunct the IC of the wife or children.
it's the married man's responsibility whether he's gonna cheat and wreck his own home not the other woman's
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Unread 12-04-2018, 01:05 PM
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Re: Lilith in synastry

Can anyone here explain the significance of black moon lilith 7th house to me? I have it there and it also trines my Sun. It's in Aries, but Aries is actually on the cusp of my 8th house and Pisces on my 7th, and that probably just compounds the sheer darkness of the experiences it draws to me along with a shamefully real capacity to fall for someone who just isn't right for me despite all the warning signs(Pisces), added to a very strong Mars in the 1st house trining a strong Neptune in the 5th(also associated with relationships and sexuality, I believe). I've had some pretty bad dating experiences, but my partners have pretty much all led me to new realizations about myself, vital lessons even if they were hardearned

I can say I've dated Aries' before and the attraction was so magnetic I could not resist her. It was electric, it was so intense and raw. The sexual attraction between us was undeniable. Even tho the whole experience was such a dark one that ultimately brought me immense pain, I still think about her sometimes and I think that says something. I get the feeling she's my proverbial flame and I am the moth who just can't resist letting myself get be set to conflagration. My intuition told me right from the getgo that it wasn't right to pursue her and let her pursue me, but the attraction was so real she left me in aching desire. Fwiw, she was equally attracted to me and I could never figure out why bc she could get anyone she wanted, but I'm very average looking. And this was a serious relationship. She wanted to date me longterm. She was insanely sexual and I loved that, both of us insatiable. I just don't understand why she was so attracted to me and it wasn't just about my personality or mind or whatever. It was sexual

I could elaborate on my experience, but to be succinct, it was the worst experience I've had with anyone and we just weren't right for each other. We both had problems with impulsivity and when you get two people together with that same demon, it seriously hinders growth. But the experience did provide food for my evolution, rebirth when I finally got my distance
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Last edited by Lykanized; 12-04-2018 at 01:10 PM.
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