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  #1  
Unread 06-20-2018, 06:34 PM
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FiliaVeneris FiliaVeneris is offline
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Struggling with relationships, life goals and relocation, please help

Hi, all.

I've had a reading here before, but I thought I'd try again since at the time, I was madly in love with a passion that I thought I could pursue. However, the said passion (dancing) will have to take a backseat for now, since there are a few issues I need to address in my life.

Friendship has always been a struggle for me. When I was younger, I was more confident and a little bit aggressive, and so whenever a friend needed help I always rose up to defend them. However, the friends I protected usually ended up dropping me once I took the fall for them. The lowest points, however, happened from 2010 to recently. In the past 8 years so far, I've jumped from one abusive best friend to another (one even sent me death threats), and recently, I was abandoned by two people who I trusted a lot. To be fair, one of them is a compulsive liar so I guess it wasn't much of a loss. However, I stood up for her even when no one else wanted to believe her anymore. So it really hurt me when she was so dismissive about my mental health issues.

Fortunately, romantic relationships aren't much of a struggle for me. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years now, and though we had our rough patches at first, we're doing really well right now. We're able to talk about everything with each other, therefore making it easy for us to solve problems. I can't say the same for the friends I've got and for my family as well -- with them, I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells. It doesn't help that my father's got a temper, and as much as it hurts me to admit it, he can be quite toxic.

I suppose what I want to understand is why these patterns keep repeating in my life. Why do I always attract either ill-tempered abusers or compulsive liars? And how can I make it so that the relationships I build in the future won't be like that? I don't understand and I feel like an idiot for surrounding myself with people who don't actually care about me.

Another thing that I worry about is my plans for the future. The last time I was on this forum, I was quite hopeful about my passion. However, I recently realised that I might have to sacrifice it for the sake of saving myself. I live in a country with a dangerous and unstable political climate, and right now, I feel like the most important thing that I've got to do is to get myself out of here. It's not safe for women, especially for those who are vocal about politics and human rights like me. Because of that, I can't really pursue dance anymore. I don't have enough savings and a good enough background to move abroad by joining a dance troupe or entering a dance school, even on a scholarship. I'd have to find another way get out of here. Sadly, I don't know what my talents are and what I could use in order to migrate and create a better, safer life for myself.

Could anyone help me figure out skills and talents I could use to move abroad? Does my chart say anything about that? I'd like to note that I've got a degree in English Literature and that I've worked as an ESL teacher before, but I'd rather not teach ESL again. Anyway, thank you so much for taking the time to read this and my birth chart, and I hope all is well with you.
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Last edited by FiliaVeneris; 07-17-2018 at 08:55 AM.
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  #2  
Unread 06-21-2018, 09:10 PM
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Osamenor Osamenor is offline
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Re: Struggling with relationships and life goals, please help

It sounds like you might have a case for political asylum. If it's dangerous for politically active women in your country, and you are a politically active woman, that might get you qualified for refugee status somewhere. Considering the state of the U.S. right now, I wouldn't look for asylum there, but maybe Canada? Maybe Australia or New Zealand? Said knowing nothing about those countries' asylum policies or processes, just that those aren't places where people are being locked up for asking for asylum (as far as I know).

Travel abroad is ninth house. Exile--which includes fleeing your country, or could also simply include emigrating by choice, because moving countries is an exile experience even if it's purely voluntary--is twelfth. By sign, your twelfth house ruler is in a stronger position than your ninth house ruler--whether you use the traditional or the modern ruler for Scorpio, both are domiciled in your case. Both are also placed in your eleventh house but twelfth place--I take that as a suggestion of groups or causes being your means of emigration. Add to that your ninth house ruler being the sun, which is in Libra in the tenth--that could indicate you traveling abroad due to your high visibility (tenth house) in social justice work (Libra).

Since Libra is also the Artist, archetypally, that placement could also indicate you having the chance to go abroad due to high visibility in an arts field. But, the way you worded your post, it doesn't sound like you're that well known for your art, which is dancing. Is that correct? If so, it seems that your activism is a more likely means.

Perhaps your activism can, has, or will attract the attention of some international organization that would be interested in moving you. Like Malala, only she had to get shot in the head for that to happen. It could indeed be a way that puts you in danger, also gets you out.

Regarding your relationships: I note that Mercury, ruler of your seventh house, is sandwiched between Pluto and Mars, in their domicile. That, to me, suggests great potential for power struggle (Pluto), possibly abuse, and possibly violence, with people you draw into your life. Add to that a strong concentration in Libra, including sun and moon, and it may be difficult for you to keep boundaries--especially if there are people in your life who insist on violating them--and not give too much away. Libra wants to keep the peace. In interpersonal relationships, that can easily turn into peace at all costs, don't rock the boat.

Pluto is also the focal point of a minor grand trine, involving your Venus and Neptune. That could indicate a tendency to attract, and be attracted to, people who seem wonderful, but have all sorts of dysfunction underneath, and then it turns into an extreme power struggle. (Attraction means both romantic and non-romantic, being drawn to people as either love interests or just friends.)

You might have better boundaries than that, though, considering that you have a nice trine between your sun and a domiciled Saturn. If you do struggle with keeping boundaries, that sun/Saturn trine shows how you could develop and strengthen boundaries. Aquarius knows and speaks her own truth. Saturn insists on pushing out anyone who would interfere with that. Libra, while having a "don't rock the boat, keep the peace at all costs" tendency, can also be persuaded that it's more peaceful and harmonious to set boundaries with others, even if that means being "rude," and cut them out of your life altogether if they can't be counted on to respect your boundaries.
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  #3  
Unread 06-21-2018, 11:57 PM
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FiliaVeneris FiliaVeneris is offline
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Hi Osamenor, thank you so much for reading my chart! I really appreciate it.

Right now, I don't think I've got a case for political asylum. While I am involved in some advocacies, I'm not exactly a well-known activist since I have to hide my activism from my conservative family. I have considered applying for international organisations that work on human rights, but the problem is that I don't know exactly what I could work as. I'm not much of a journalist despite my degree.

That said, I'm not well-known for my dancing either. This is why I don't understand my 10th house stellium -- I've lived most of my life away from the public, preferring to work behind the scenes. Perhaps that's the Sun square Neptune insecurity speaking, which I've still yet to overcome. I'm still hoping I could pursue an artistic career, but it really does feel unlikely. Thank you for pointing that out, though. Perhaps there might be a way someday, maybe once I've immigrated.

I had no idea that the twelfth house could also indicate exile/immigration, and I'm really grateful that you explained that. I'd been looking at my 9th house and was afraid that I don't have much expertise to teach. I wonder, though, if I have placements that indicate migration through education? I do think my college life felt rather incomplete, and I feel like I've still got much to learn. Also, are there any placements that indicate something I should watch out for regarding immigration?

As for my relationships, you've summed up perfectly what happens whenever I befriend someone. Initially, they do seem wonderful, but after awhile I realise that the friendship is actually a lot more toxic than I thought. I suppose I've really got to work on being honest and firm when it comes to my boundaries. It's funny and sad how to most people, I seem to have such a "strong personality" at first, but I tend to feel like a pushover in intimate friendships. I certainly regret not being more honest in the past, but at the very least that's something I can work on now.
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  #4  
Unread 06-22-2018, 12:11 AM
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JUPITERASC JUPITERASC is offline
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Re: Struggling with relationships and life goals, please help

Quote:
Originally Posted by FiliaVeneris View Post
Hi, all.

I've had a reading here before, but I thought I'd try again since at the time, I was madly in love with a passion that I thought I could pursue. However, the said passion (dancing) will have to take a backseat for now, since there are a few issues I need to address in my life.

Friendship has always been a struggle for me. When I was younger, I was more confident and a little bit aggressive, and so whenever a friend needed help I always rose up to defend them. However, the friends I protected usually ended up dropping me once I took the fall for them. The lowest points, however, happened from 2010 to recently. In the past 8 years so far, I've jumped from one abusive best friend to another (one even sent me death threats), and recently, I was abandoned by two people who I trusted a lot. To be fair, one of them is a compulsive liar so I guess it wasn't much of a loss. However, I stood up for her even when no one else wanted to believe her anymore. So it really hurt me when she was so dismissive about my mental health issues.

Fortunately, romantic relationships aren't much of a struggle for me. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years now, and though we had our rough patches at first, we're doing really well right now. We're able to talk about everything with each other, therefore making it easy for us to solve problems. I can't say the same for the friends I've got and for my family as well -- with them, I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells. It doesn't help that my father's got a temper, and as much as it hurts me to admit it, he can be quite toxic.

I suppose what I want to understand is why these patterns keep repeating in my life. Why do I always attract either ill-tempered abusers or compulsive liars? And how can I make it so that the relationships I build in the future won't be like that? I don't understand and I feel like an idiot for surrounding myself with people who don't actually care about me.

Another thing that I worry about is my plans for the future. The last time I was on this forum, I was quite hopeful about my passion. However, I recently realised that I might have to sacrifice it for the sake of saving myself. I live in a country with a dangerous and unstable political climate, and right now, I feel like the most important thing that I've got to do is to get myself out of here. It's not safe for women, especially for those who are vocal about politics and human rights like me. Because of that, I can't really pursue dance anymore. I don't have enough savings and a good enough background to move abroad by joining a dance troupe or entering a dance school, even on a scholarship. I'd have to find another way get out of here. Sadly, I don't know what my talents are and what I could use in order to migrate and create a better, safer life for myself.

Could anyone help me figure out skills and talents I could use to move abroad? Does my chart say anything about that? I'd like to note that I've got a degree in English Literature and that I've worked as an ESL teacher before, but I'd rather not teach ESL again. Anyway, thank you so much for taking the time to read this and my birth chart, and I hope all is well with you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FiliaVeneris View Post
Hi Osamenor, thank you so much for reading my chart! I really appreciate it.

Right now, I don't think I've got a case for political asylum. While I am involved in some advocacies, I'm not exactly a well-known activist since I have to hide my activism from my conservative family. I have considered applying for international organisations that work on human rights, but the problem is that I don't know exactly what I could work as. I'm not much of a journalist despite my degree.

That said, I'm not well-known for my dancing either. This is why I don't understand my 10th house stellium -- I've lived most of my life away from the public, preferring to work behind the scenes. Perhaps that's the Sun square Neptune insecurity speaking, which I've still yet to overcome. I'm still hoping I could pursue an artistic career, but it really does feel unlikely. Thank you for pointing that out, though. Perhaps there might be a way someday, maybe once I've immigrated.

I had no idea that the twelfth house could also indicate exile/immigration, and I'm really grateful that you explained that. I'd been looking at my 9th house and was afraid that I don't have much expertise to teach. I wonder, though, if I have placements that indicate migration through education? I do think my college life felt rather incomplete, and I feel like I've still got much to learn. Also, are there any placements that indicate something I should watch out for regarding immigration?

As for my relationships, you've summed up perfectly what happens whenever I befriend someone. Initially, they do seem wonderful, but after awhile I realise that the friendship is actually a lot more toxic than I thought. I suppose I've really got to work on being honest and firm when it comes to my boundaries. It's funny and sad how to most people, I seem to have such a "strong personality" at first, but I tend to feel like a pushover in intimate friendships. I certainly regret not being more honest in the past, but at the very least that's something I can work on now.
Using WHOLE SIGN HOUSES you have planets in 12th house
12th house traditionally represents seclusion
or even exclusion
and so
may be a metaphor of you eventually finding a way to go abroad
meanwhile
another signification associated with 12th house
is a need for solitude and meditation
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82p-D...eature=related Hippocrates Let food be your medicine: let medicine be your food. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvz9uSK3zXo Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead Tom Stoppard http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KchhSIVwMdY Every exit is an entrance to somewhere else. VETTIUS VALENS FREE http://www.csus.edu/indiv/r/rileymt/...s%20entire.pdf
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  #5  
Unread 06-22-2018, 12:22 AM
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Osamenor Osamenor is offline
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Re: Struggling with relationships and life goals, please help

Quote:
Originally Posted by FiliaVeneris View Post
Right now, I don't think I've got a case for political asylum. While I am involved in some advocacies, I'm not exactly a well-known activist since I have to hide my activism from my conservative family. I have considered applying for international organisations that work on human rights, but the problem is that I don't know exactly what I could work as. I'm not much of a journalist despite my degree.
What organizations are you considering? Can you find out more about them and what they need?

Plenty of Filipinos have gotten caught up in awful situations abroad. Knowledge of English is an asset in all kinds of international work. Being a Filipina fluent in English, and with some activist and some teaching experience, could have a niche in itself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FiliaVeneris View Post
That said, I'm not well-known for my dancing either. This is why I don't understand my 10th house stellium -- I've lived most of my life away from the public, preferring to work behind the scenes. Perhaps that's the Sun square Neptune insecurity speaking, which I've still yet to overcome. I'm still hoping I could pursue an artistic career, but it really does feel unlikely. Thank you for pointing that out, though. Perhaps there might be a way someday, maybe once I've immigrated.
Libra often would prefer that. Libra isn't a "look at me, look at me!" sign. Virgo is even less so, and you have your MC in Virgo, with Venus conjunct MC as your most elevated planet. Virgo Venus up there puts what you do first and foremost, and you just quietly do it, whatever it is.

And having a lot in the tenth house doesn't make you famous. What it makes you is a leader. In some way, you're someone people gravitate to. Maybe you consciously lead. Maybe it's unconscious--people just copy you, or follow your suggestions, and you don't even necessarily know it. You might be highly visible in the sense that you're a strong influence on the people around you.

You do have great potential to become a highly visible leader. Your packed tenth and eleventh houses speak to that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FiliaVeneris View Post
I had no idea that the twelfth house could also indicate exile/immigration, and I'm really grateful that you explained that. I'd been looking at my 9th house and was afraid that I don't have much expertise to teach. I wonder, though, if I have placements that indicate migration through education?
Sun conjunct Jupiter could speak to that. However you migrate, though, I think it's highly likely that you will, unless you're already a foreigner in some sense--ethnic or religious minority where you come from, for instance (and even if you are, that doesn't rule out the likelihood that you'll migrate again). Jupiter ruling your AC and IC could indicate presenting a foreigner's face to the world (AC) and living someplace, or being from a family, surrounded by foreigners or being the foreigner.

You also have the north node in Sagittarius. North node represents where you're going in the long run, and also represents what you want more and more of. If you want more higher education, or more foreign experiences, those are Sagittarius indicators. It's also in your twelfth house--which suggests exile again. From south to north node, we've got hints of a dangerous situation (south node in Gemini = a live by your wits situation; ruler in Scorpio sandwiched between Mars and Pluto suggests further danger, maybe war or surrounding violence or just plain unsafe people; north node is the escape route).
Quote:
Originally Posted by FiliaVeneris View Post
Also, are there any placements that indicate something I should watch out for regarding immigration?
In the big picture, there could be some very dangerous situations at hand--but you already know that, which is why you're considering immigration. I think you may have a life ahead of you where you are, either literally or figuratively, putting your life on the line. With those strong suggestions of immigration, it could be that immigrating itself is dangerous in some way. It could also simply mean that once you immigrate, you'll be caught up in immigration-related causes, battles fought with words and demonstrations if not physical violence. Either way, don't expect a quiet life.
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  #6  
Unread 07-17-2018, 06:01 AM
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FiliaVeneris FiliaVeneris is offline
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Re: Struggling with relationships and life goals, please help

Hi, I'm very sorry for the late replies to your posts!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JUPITERASC View Post
Using WHOLE SIGN HOUSES you have planets in 12th house
12th house traditionally represents seclusion
or even exclusion
and so
may be a metaphor of you eventually finding a way to go abroad
meanwhile
another signification associated with 12th house
is a need for solitude and meditation
Thank you so much for this! What could it mean if Mercury conjunct Mars and Pluto is in the 12th house? I've read before that Pluto in the 12th house gives one some hidden enemies, but other than that, I'm not really sure I understand what Pluto in the 12th means.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
And having a lot in the tenth house doesn't make you famous. What it makes you is a leader. In some way, you're someone people gravitate to. Maybe you consciously lead. Maybe it's unconscious--people just copy you, or follow your suggestions, and you don't even necessarily know it. You might be highly visible in the sense that you're a strong influence on the people around you.

You do have great potential to become a highly visible leader. Your packed tenth and eleventh houses speak to that.
I think I've been highly afraid of attempting to lead people ever since I had that one former friend who sent me death threats. I think I really am beginning to understand Pluto in the 11th house now -- there have been a lot of people in my life who have tried to control me, and I've lost confidence in a lot of my skills because of that. Does my chart show how I can regain my confidence and power somehow?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
It's also in your twelfth house--which suggests exile again. From south to north node, we've got hints of a dangerous situation (south node in Gemini = a live by your wits situation; ruler in Scorpio sandwiched between Mars and Pluto suggests further danger, maybe war or surrounding violence or just plain unsafe people; north node is the escape route).

In the big picture, there could be some very dangerous situations at hand--but you already know that, which is why you're considering immigration. I think you may have a life ahead of you where you are, either literally or figuratively, putting your life on the line. With those strong suggestions of immigration, it could be that immigrating itself is dangerous in some way. It could also simply mean that once you immigrate, you'll be caught up in immigration-related causes, battles fought with words and demonstrations if not physical violence. Either way, don't expect a quiet life.
I've never really looked into relocation astrology, but could it show the least dangerous option for me? The problem with staying in my country is that I feel like political problems here, along with the lack of accessible health care and my family's toxicity, contributes to my depression, and I'm honestly afraid that staying here even for just one more year would be dangerous to my mental health. My partner has been very encouraging of me immigrating, but I'm also really scared that immigrating would somehow make it worse.

That said, thanks again for responding and for explaining my chart and the possibilities it shows about my life. I really appreciate it.
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Last edited by FiliaVeneris; 07-17-2018 at 07:49 AM.
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