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  #76  
Unread 06-06-2015, 07:02 PM
Pisces13 Pisces13 is offline
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Last edited by Pisces13; 06-25-2015 at 04:23 AM.
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  #77  
Unread 06-06-2015, 07:44 PM
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Re: Lack of social life, why

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Do you have any idea how much I'd love to get out of KY? I'd love to get out of here. My mom and sister in law are constantly putting a damper on those plans. I'd love to go to graduate out of state, maybe I'm being impulsive and Leonian/Arian right now. But she makes good points and it irritates me. She said, "you can go that far so soon. After grad school go where you want but you can't now because you said you can't live on campus in dorms...where would you live and how would you pay your bills?"

She's absolutely right. I can't just go there on a whim...I won't be able to live in a dorm...so where will I get an apartment? In a new state...that I JUST moved...how can you get an apartment and a job at the same time within a few days or whatever? AND go to school all at once. When will I have time to study? Suppose I go to law school (firstly to get a good job you need to go to a good grad school...that's not gonna be in ky) how will I have time to read and study? Law school, especially the first year, is a lot of work.

It's so much to think about and a lot of pressure. I wish I could win the lottery half my problems would be solved. But a place, go to school, give to charity, pay for some trips every now and then. Ah.
And what happened to your decision to look into jobs, like we talked about a few posts back?

You're not going to grad school tomorrow. You haven't even started applying yet. It sounds like you haven't even decided which field of study to go to grad school in. You have lots of time to make smaller steps first. And since when does anyone go to graduate school anywhere on a whim? It takes lots of time and effort to apply to graduate school in the first place: exams, sending out applications, etc. By the time you've done all that, you've really thought things through.

You might not even have to go to grad school. If you want to be a lawyer, sure, that requires law school. If you decide on psychology, whether you should go to grad school or not depends on what you want to do with it. If you want to be, say, a clinical psychologist or a teacher, that requires graduate school, but there are lots of other human service careers where a background in psychology is useful but graduate school not required.

If you do go to graduate school, lots of people don't go straight in out of college. You could work for a while first. You could go somewhere else and work. Get experience living on your own, try out a new place, and save some money. If you can save up enough, you can get through graduate school without working during the semester. Not only that, many graduate programs include work experience opportunities that pay.

We also talked about how student services could help you find housing, even if it's not on campus. The expense wouldn't necessarily be greater than on campus housing, either. If you lived on campus, you would have to pay dorm fees and dining hall fees, which would be in addition to tuition and books and other fees, and wouldn't be covered by financial aid. If you live off campus, those fees don't apply. You have to pay your living expenses, but depending on what those costs are in your area and how many people are splitting them, it doesn't necessarily add up to more than the cost of living on campus.
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  #78  
Unread 06-06-2015, 07:55 PM
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Re: Lack of social life, why

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I don't think I'm idolizing the mature, responsible but adventurous types so much as I am one and would like to be around people with whom I'm compatible. And ignoring people who aren't anything like you (maybe not to an extreme and judgemental extent, that's mean) isn't anything bad or uncommon, it's preference.
Idealizing is not the same as idolizing, and discomfort is not the same as "not anything like you." In fact, if something is not anything like you, there's a good possibility that it won't bother you. When people are confronted with parts of themselves that they don't like is when they truly start to squirm.

You keep talking about these people you want to be with, yet in all these descriptions you also talk about how you've never really had any sort of relationship with these people. There are a lot of people who can look mature and responsible on the outside. However, unless you've ever been thoroughly involved with them, you have no idea what they're actually like. All people have their darkness, their shadows. It's just that some people wear theirs on the outside and others wear them on the inside.

Reading this whole thread, I'm just wondering if you'll be in for a rude awakening when you actually do manage to insinuate yourself among people you think you're like. That you will find someone who seems like your ideal man, but instead he turns out to be deeply disappointing. I don't know.

Anyway, Osamenor is completely right about off-campus housing. Most large colleges have off-campus housing. If you were a good enough student you might be able to get a TA position to help pay your bills. There might even be scholarships, though it's my understanding that those drop off sharply once you get to the graduate level. I mean, I managed to go to school all the way across the ocean and live in off-campus housing... going cross-country should be a bit easier than that.

Last edited by graay ghost; 06-06-2015 at 08:05 PM.
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  #79  
Unread 06-06-2015, 11:05 PM
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Re: Lack of social life, why

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Squaring, and there's a discussion here about Pluto square AC. The Pluto square part starts halfway down the second page. The OP didn't know her ascendant when she started the thread; the later posts were after she'd found out and mentioned the Pluto square somewhere else... and it answered the question in the thread title!
Interestingly Pluto is no longer a planet
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  #80  
Unread 06-07-2015, 01:11 AM
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Re: Lack of social life, why

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Originally Posted by Pisces13 View Post
I'd love to go to graduate out of state, maybe I'm being impulsive and Leonian/Arian right now. But she makes good points and it irritates me. She said, "you can go that far so soon. After grad school go where you want but you can't now because you said you can't live on campus in dorms...where would you live and how would you pay your bills?"
I've been chewing on this, too, because a serious reality check is in order. If you go to graduate school in Kentucky, where will you live?

Unless the school you go to is within commuting distance of your current home, you can't live at home. So even in state, you'd still have to find housing and pay living expenses. And if the town you live in is as small and remote and hick as you're claiming, there can't possibly be more than one graduate school within commuting distance, if there are any at all.

Your mom may be trying to control you, keep you at home, prevent you from changing. She also, apparently, doesn't know how graduate school works in this country. It's not realistic, ever, to apply to just one graduate school, and the location of the graduate school is one of the last things you take into consideration. The top priorities are, what do you want to study? Which schools offer the best programs for that? What kind of job placement track record do their graduates have?

Then you apply, and you probably won't get into every school you apply to. For the schools that you do get into, the next consideration is cost and how much financial aid you can get. With all that to take into account, you have to start with a long list of schools in a long list of places to find one you can feasibly go to. It's advised to start with about 15-20 of them. There surely aren't that many graduate schools in Kentucky, let alone near your home!

Graduate schools are so spread out that to have any realistic chance of getting into a program that will help you in your career, you have to apply to multiple schools in multiple states. If you want to go to law school, that's especially true. Psychology gives you some more wiggle room, but those same considerations still apply. In order to go to graduate school, you have to be willing and able to relocate for it.

And when it comes to getting into graduate school in America, especially a professional program like law or psychology, life experience counts far more than your academic record. To stand the best possible chance of getting in, you have to have work experience relevant to your field. Even holding a job unrelated to the field you want to study, or traveling, or serving in the military, Peace Corps, or Americorps boosts your chances of getting into grad school. If all you've done in your life is live at home and go to school, your chances of being accepted are very low, even if you have top grades and test scores. No more than 10%-30% of applicants admitted to graduate school are starting right after college, and that includes applicants who've left home for college, held summer jobs, traveled, etc.

Last edited by Osamenor; 06-07-2015 at 01:17 AM.
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  #81  
Unread 06-07-2015, 03:54 AM
Pisces13 Pisces13 is offline
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Last edited by Pisces13; 06-25-2015 at 04:24 AM.
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  #82  
Unread 06-07-2015, 04:00 AM
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Last edited by Pisces13; 06-25-2015 at 04:24 AM.
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  #83  
Unread 06-07-2015, 04:05 AM
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Last edited by Pisces13; 06-25-2015 at 04:24 AM.
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  #84  
Unread 06-07-2015, 04:46 AM
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Re: Lack of social life, why

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Originally Posted by Pisces13 View Post
I'm definitely going to get a job. My mom said she didn't realize that a lawyers chances of having a good career depend a lot on what school they go to and suggested I start working part time soon and I told her I decided te same. So that's still happening. And right after I sent that I realized that I still have enough time to plan, get help with housing and get a job and save up. My parents said they'll help wherever they can also if need be.

I was gonna go back and edit my post but my phone does and I was out who my family and didn't have a charger. So I definitely took your advice and will get a job. Maybe it'll help me meet people, it'll coverts only give me work experience, and having money saved up is obviously a plus. I actually wanna thank you for suggesting that while also understanding my circumstances, that right there gave me some confidence to take action. So thanks for that--may not have been much to you but I appreciate it
Wonderful! I'm SO glad to hear that.
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We do live by a couple good universities (within a couple hours) and we live by a major city in another state (it's only an hour or two hours away). There are at least 3-4 universities I can think of that are close by. She's not trying to control me, she's worried because I'm the youngest and only daughter and I've never lived far for home. So I can understand her.
Ah... parental worry!

Sometimes when people make a major change in their lives, their loved ones have a knee jerk reaction, saying, in essence, "Don't change!" Your description of your mother and your sister-in-law ripping apart your plans sounded like that kind of knee jerk reaction on their part. Maybe it was just how you communicated that... discussion boards don't leave much room for nuances... but of course it could be much more than that.

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Originally Posted by Pisces13 View Post
But like I said, I'll get a job, ask questions, get answers, learn. I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm just stressed and overthinking. I'm not the first or the last person to go to grad school and that hasn't lived away from home. That's many many peoples' story. There's obviously a way, and I'll find it.
Of course there is.

You might find this site helpful: http://www.idealist.org/info/GradEducation

Check out the menu in the sidebar. It's got lots of helpful information, questions to ask to decide if graduate school is right for you, and if so, lots of helpful hints on how to go about getting in and how to make the most of it.

I found it looking for statistics to back up my claims when I was making that last post. I knew that most people who go to graduate school don't start right after college and that graduate schools seem more likely to admit applicants who have some life experience, but needed some backup before I went and said it.

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When the end of the semester came she told me if I needed her to help me over winter break and prepare for the next level course that was coming up, I could text her and we could meet up and she'd help prepare me if she had time because she was also going to travel with her boyfriend.
And did you ever text her?
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She also told me she was only giving me her number and not to give it to anyone else in class--but that was also as far as it went. She's in grad school now don't know where.
Ever look for her on Facebook? Unless she's hiding online, too, it's very easy to find people through social media.

I have several friends who I'm in sporadic touch with, and sometimes social media, or just running into them on the street, is how the friendship continues. One of those friends, I've known since sixth grade... and I just happened to bump into her again a few weeks ago! I consider that something special, the way we just keep running into each other randomly.

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Originally Posted by Pisces13 View Post
The other girls I study with are also good girls. But it never goes beyond small talk. With me and the tutor pre med girl, when everyone would leave we'd talk about personal stuff, but it was never like, "Let's hang out outside of school."
Did you ever suggest that yourself? Sometimes making the suggestion is what it takes. Maybe they were waiting for you to say something.

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Originally Posted by Pisces13 View Post
A good person is a good person. No shadow. If they have shadows and a dark side and that dark side is enough to make me disappointed on them as a person...guess what they aren't? A good person...
Everyone has a shadow. Whether you see it or not.
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  #85  
Unread 06-07-2015, 05:15 AM
Pisces13 Pisces13 is offline
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Re: Lack of social life, why

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Last edited by Pisces13; 06-25-2015 at 04:24 AM.
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  #86  
Unread 06-19-2015, 08:57 PM
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Re: Lack of social life, why

You placed too much angles for the aspects, this chart isnít drawn properly. Please write your birth data so I can draw it myself.
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