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Horary Questions on Relational Issues For horary questions about relationships.


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  #1  
Unread 11-29-2021, 01:42 AM
Astronizing Astronizing is offline
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Why did she reach out to me now?

Good morning,

I have read that people can see other stuff in horary charts besides yes/no answers. This person is not a friend of mine but an acquaintance. In the past, I was always the one doing more of the chasing and remembering her birthday, etc.
So, I stopped making an effort.

All of a sudden, after almost an entire year, she reached out apologising about how busy she has been. This is prolly the second or third time she has done this but, this is the first time she forgot about me for almost a year. I did not reply and do not think I will but I am curious to know if anyone sees any peculiarities in the chart.

I feel like she reaches out just to update about what is going on in her life/gloat but then she is too busy for you and disappears.

Thank you.

For some interpretation. I am sun and she is mercury. No aspect. So even if I had asked if I should respond back, the answer would be in the negative.


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  #2  
Unread 11-29-2021, 05:44 AM
blackbery blackbery is offline
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Re: Why did she reach out to me now?

Hey there, I think there's more going on, if she is just an acquaintance that you barely know, why would she keep in touch with you regularly? And why would you be so upset? You don't even appear to like her, saying that all she does is gloat & update & then be gone.

If she is an ex then it would be 7 house.

No offence but the question is very strange but hope you get the answer you need to not take it personally that you feel she has rejected or abandoned you.








Quote:
Originally Posted by Astronizing View Post
Good morning,

I have read that people can see other stuff in horary charts besides yes/no answers. This person is not a friend of mine but an acquaintance. In the past, I was always the one doing more of the chasing and remembering her birthday, etc.
So, I stopped making an effort.

All of a sudden, after almost an entire year, she reached out apologising about how busy she has been. This is prolly the second or third time she has done this but, this is the first time she forgot about me for almost a year. I did not reply and do not think I will but I am curious to know if anyone sees any peculiarities in the chart.

I feel like she reaches out just to update about what is going on in her life/gloat but then she is too busy for you and disappears.

Thank you.

For some interpretation. I am sun and she is mercury. No aspect. So even if I had asked if I should respond back, the answer would be in the negative.

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  #3  
Unread 11-29-2021, 08:06 AM
Iced8Ace Iced8Ace is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Astronizing View Post
Good morning,

I have read that people can see other stuff in horary charts besides yes/no answers. This person is not a friend of mine but an acquaintance. In the past, I was always the one doing more of the chasing and remembering her birthday, etc.
So, I stopped making an effort.

All of a sudden, after almost an entire year, she reached out apologising about how busy she has been. This is prolly the second or third time she has done this but, this is the first time she forgot about me for almost a year. I did not reply and do not think I will but I am curious to know if anyone sees any peculiarities in the chart.

I feel like she reaches out just to update about what is going on in her life/gloat but then she is too busy for you and disappears.

Thank you.

For some interpretation. I am sun and she is mercury. No aspect. So even if I had asked if I should respond back, the answer would be in the negative.
Why? Who cares why if she just takes you for granted and you do not wish to reply or befriend her anyways. Why ignore you for so long? This isn't horary related but it sounds like she usually puts you on the backburner while chatting it up with her friends. When those friends pay her no mind or the people she's chosen over you are absent, that's when she appears. She just wants attention/to use you.

She wouldn't ghost you so many times if she was truly apologetic about the first few times and she didn't want to risk losing/angering you. What is it about your relationship that makes you second guess your decision to let her go? Also you want justification for it? If you were to say she was a friend, and take her as the 11th house ruler, she is Mercury in Sagittarius, in her detriment, combust and in the detriment of your sig, the Sun. She's a terrible friend that feels ambivalent towards you. I can tell her actions made you sad because moon rules the 12th house. You can do so much better and you need not waste your time on her.
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  #4  
Unread 11-29-2021, 03:59 PM
JoZi15 JoZi15 is offline
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Re: Why did she reach out to me now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Astronizing View Post
Good morning,

I have read that people can see other stuff in horary charts besides yes/no answers. This person is not a friend of mine but an acquaintance. In the past, I was always the one doing more of the chasing and remembering her birthday, etc.
So, I stopped making an effort.

All of a sudden, after almost an entire year, she reached out apologising about how busy she has been. This is prolly the second or third time she has done this but, this is the first time she forgot about me for almost a year. I did not reply and do not think I will but I am curious to know if anyone sees any peculiarities in the chart.

I feel like she reaches out just to update about what is going on in her life/gloat but then she is too busy for you and disappears.

Thank you.

For some interpretation. I am sun and she is mercury. No aspect. So even if I had asked if I should respond back, the answer would be in the negative.

Hi Astronizing, (such a good name!)

I think I can infer that you wanted to be friends or tried to be friends because you were thoughtful, like remembering her birthday, etc., but it was pretty one-sided and so you decided to stop putting in any effort to be friends. And this is why she is "just an acquaintance."

If she is Mercury, there is an aspect. Mercury is closing in on Sun and the conjunction will perfect in a day or that same day.

Sun, in a night chart, is peregrine in Sagittarius. Mercury has face but is also in detriment so that cancels out any meager points face would have brought and even leaves Mercury with negative points. So, you're a little better off but not by much.

You're both angular so you both have agency, power to make a move, however good it will do either of you in your weakness by sign.

Mercury is close but not close enough (17 minutes for Cazimi) so Mercury is blinded by the Sun and not thinking (or acting) straight. But was clearing doing the chasing.

We can look at Moon for "the situation." Moon is the 12th H Ruler in Virgo brought to the 2nd H Cusp. So maybe what was secret or where there were games being played (deception) is brought to a question of worth or value now (2nd H)?

Or if we read Moon as your co-significator, perhaps the bad feelings you had in this unreciprocated friendship have been transformed because you see your own worth or find that what you value is reciprocated relationships (12th H brought to the 2nd H).

Moon, in a night chart, has triplicity in Virgo, so is much stronger than either of the significators. Whatever Moon represents, the action of bringing 12th H matters to a question of what you value or to make something that was unclear-confusing-elusive (12th H again) concrete-tangible-known (2nd H) has given Moon some power.

I can't tell why she reached out. But suffice to say, a person who recognizes that someone used to remember her birthday but now no longer does, may see where she took that for granted and is trying to make excuses for why she didn't "notice" before.

Or the games could continue and perhaps such a person didn't see where she wasn't a friend but instead, she could be driven by the cat and mouse game of chasing or being chased. Perhaps the way she relates is either being the chased or doing the chasing. Sometimes, doing the chasing only until she's the chased again.

I think Moon with some dignity in Virgo and in a stable place for emotions in the 2nd H (I'm guessing Moon likes being in the 2nd H because that's traditionally ruled by Taurus where Moon is exalted) is the best outlook of the significators.

So, maybe don't worry about why she reached out, but instead, you can do what makes you feel good. Maybe even finishing what you've started - in transforming negative feelings to ones where you see value in yourself. If you continued in that vein, maybe you could ask her things that might tell you if she wants to be a better friend to you or you could even tell her that you've been the one to reach out in the relationship and felt her unresponsiveness was an indication that she didn't want to be friends - not that she was too busy - or that it showed you what kind of friend she is. And if she is honest or holds herself accountable and wants to be different in this relationship, you can decide what you'd like to do, knowing that she, obviously, has a learning curve.

Whatever you do, I think this is about you and what will make you feel better. Not necessarily discovering the motives behind her actions.

Good luck, Astronizing!
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  #5  
Unread 11-29-2021, 09:10 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is offline
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Re: Why did she reach out to me now?

Agree with the previous comments that you should concentrate on yourself and your own self confidence, not concern yourself with why she is approaching you.
Having said this, notice that mercury closing in on you, sun, leaves a conjunction with south node, showing she has been in difficulty and is reaching out towards you.
Moon rules her 2nd of money, and moon sits on your 2nd cusp, approaching an opposition to Neptune on your 8th of your partner's money.
Can she be asking for a loan or does she owe you money?
The 2nd house is also self-esteem, so she might be looking to build herself up by contacting you.
Just be aware, whatever her problem might be, it is not your problem.
Keep faith in yourself, and don't be fooled by her pity play.
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  #6  
Unread 11-30-2021, 03:59 AM
Astronizing Astronizing is offline
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Re: Why did she reach out to me now?

Thank you so much everyone for the responses.
You just basically reaffirmed my feelings about the matter. And, no worries. I am not replying.

The reason I wondered about it is because we basically have the same placements, with the exception that her moon is in virgo and mine is in taurus. I also do not know her asc sign. We were born in the same year. She is older than me by around 17 days. I guess it was my mistake to assume we would connect or share similar friendship values.

As to the reason of why: I want to know if there is something else because as ElenaJ pointed out, I just feel there is something else going on in her life. I am unsure.

What upset me the most about her reaching out for the last time (now) is that she never once mentioned my boyfriend at all. She reached out so she, her fiancé and I would participate in these celebratory events that are familiar to my boyfriend too, as the four of us belong to the same community. She knows I am coupled and she did not mention him at all. As if she forgot I have friends, a partner, etc.

Looking back. The penultimate time she ghosted me, she appeared and sent me texts about the fact she travelled to x country with her fiance and that they would have invited me except the hotel was not pet-friendly. Of course, a lie. Why would a couple invite a 'third wheel'? And, I could have left my pets under the care of someone else, right? Some lie to save face re her ghosting and also to semi-gloat, perchance? I told my boyfriend and of course, he said that she/them never thought about inviting me.

Then, this time around, she mentions these activities involving her and the fiance but not even once mentions: have your boyfriend come along too. And believe me, it has nothing to do with my boyfriend.

It is as if...I cannot explain it. It felt condescending. In one way, it is as if she painted me as the charity case, as if I have no one--she could have mentioned my boyfriend too and it would be a couples' event but instead, she assumed that I had no one, that I was by myself. What is this about? And, I hate making assumptions but it felt as if she reduced me to a third wheel/her sad and lonely single friend.

As if, she wanted me to play the story of she being the one coupled and I, of the single woman. (Not saying that there is nothing wrong with being single but I think you understand what I mean). Yes, when we first started spending time, I had not introduced my boyfriend yet but she knows we are together, so why not recognise this?

The reason I started feeling sceptical about her is because whenever we would hang out with her fiance (and the last time, I invited my boyfriend over), she would always mention how much her fiance spent/bought...etc. And always mentioned his financial contributions. Something about it made me feel uncomfortable. It just came across as gloat/brag-like.

As to her feeling ambivalent about me. Two things. She has mentioned how she feels inferior when seeing lists of people who belong to certain professions (one of the professions she mentioned, I am a member of). She is now working on becoming a professional. I do not think I have ever made her feel I am better. If anything, I have always encouraged her and it was nice seeing that she was pursuing a degree. Then, her fiance and I have connected because we have both lived in the same overseas continent. So, there are things that we both recognise in terms of foods, people, weather but there was never any boundaries violation. One time, her fiance mentioned a food item I am familiar with. I remember she asking me: how do you know of this too (as he does)? And I responded that we are familiar with x item because it is common overseas in said continent. She has said she is dumb and she self-depreciates herself (although sometimes I felt she did this to garner sympathy) but if she feels inferior, it is her, not me. Especially now remembering that she is the oldest and has a younger brother yet her family always treated the brother better because he is the boy and her family worships boys over girls.

Further, when she reached out to me now, I wondered if something was going on in her personal life because they became engaged three years ago and were supposed to be married a long time ago. As an observer, I always felt like their life visions, values and other things were not compatible.

That is all. Thank you again, everyone. For listening to me vent.

Last edited by Astronizing; 11-30-2021 at 04:51 AM.
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  #7  
Unread 11-30-2021, 04:34 PM
ElenaJ ElenaJ is offline
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Re: Why did she reach out to me now?

Keep the moon/neptune opposition in mind, and probably if possible, best to keep your distance.
Stay strong.
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  #8  
Unread 11-30-2021, 09:38 PM
JoZi15 JoZi15 is offline
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Re: Why did she reach out to me now?

Wow. Yes. Agree with ElenaJ. I wouldn't give that relationship any more time. Or ask her anything about her own behavior then or now.
Sending good energy to you, Astronizing!
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  #9  
Unread 11-30-2021, 09:40 PM
JoZi15 JoZi15 is offline
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Re: Why did she reach out to me now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElenaJ View Post
Keep the moon/neptune opposition in mind, and probably if possible, best to keep your distance.
Stay strong.
That applying Moon opposite Neptune is SO TELLING about what could be coming down the road!!! Oh my goodness. Horary is so good.
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