Maybe transiting Venus, Mars, Sun going through your 5th house.
Cheers,
MD
Many times there is even an event exactly three months before the birthday which triggers awareness and signals the beginning of the new solar return. This event is usually very much related to the new solar return and very much out of context with the old one. If you have plans to travel overseas during the three months before your birthday, do not look for the event in the old solar return even if you have been planning to take the trip all year. The old solar return will probably indicate the planning stage, but the new solar return will indicate the trip. The trip itself illustrates change, and since it occurs in the three months before your birthday, it will most likely be indicative of the new solar return chart.
Solar Returns are only drawn for the day the Sun returns to its natal position.
The new solar return they are speaking about is the one for your next birthday.
First you need to determine whether or not the old return shows you going to Amsterdam.
I'll check into it cause I'm curious.
MD
Our years overlap each other. What you started with your 2018 return but didn't complete will continue to play out in your new SR. The 2018 SR has your 9th house of foreign affairs on the Asc. and Mars,
ruler of natal 7th and is in the 9th, conjs. the SR Asc. Natal Mars conj. SR Moon/Saturn. Moon is besieged here by malefic planets and speaks to the emotional pain you describe. Plus, N. Mars squares your
Venus showing difficulties in relationships. This is repeated with SR Moon and Mars squaring Venus.
When advancing the SR Asc. it comes to the 11th house in May. House of friends with Jupiter residing there. Natal Jupiter in Pieces is in your 11th, unfortunately rules the difficult houses N. 8th and SR.12th.
The Asc. progresses to Capricorn the end of July where Moon/Saturn/Mars conj and finishes the year off in heartbreak.
This was difficult to write but I wanted to show 2018 describes the event as you have told your story.
Now moving to 2019 SR "My emotions were so stable and it was fascinating to observe myself not reacting". I believe this also shows your SR Venus/Mars conj in the 5th in Virgo.
Subdued, even though the passions run deep I'm sure.
MD
P.S. 8th/12th are traditionally bad houses but as you have said there can be/has been growth.
Was looking at my Solar Return from last year and Chiron was conjunct my natal moon in the 11th/12th houses. Does that mean that 2018 was about healing old wounds and emotions ? Possibly ones from when Uranus passed over my moon and my mother suddenly died ? Or maybe it pointed to the synastry in a way since my Chiron is conjunct my person's Moon ? I know that I did heal a lot of wounds and emotions surrounding my identity from the last birthday until now.
Interestingly, the Chiron/Moon can show you meeting someone with whom you share a harmonious energy with. It represents the kind of person we want in a committed relationship.
I guess what I am wondering is was this person as serious about the relationship and as into me as they claimed to be ?
Excellent question and one she needs to answer to your satisfaction.
DM
I've been having some of the strangest dreams with last night's being the ultimate weird dream. I had a dream that I was giving birth. That I was in labour and gave birth to a baby. It was so real and terrifying. I am assuming it has something to do with the new moon today !
Along with Mercury in your fifth house of children, in trine with your natal Neptune. That is very bizarre!
MD
It really is bizarre ! I've never had a dream like that in my entire life. It's so weird I had it and I'm a man who is not looking to have children anytime soon. Neptune deals with dreams ?
Yes, it symbolizes one's unconscious mind. Moon too allows one to tap into the unconscious. Tibetan monks would meditate on the full Moon to explore their subconscious.
Given what you have said here, birth of a baby could represent your deep desire to create a new beginning for yourself. Bringing forth new, creative ideas into reality? New baby is your personal symbol for something. What does a baby mean to you?
MD