2 men - Torn between them

I believe I am posting in the correct area. If not, feel free to move me.

For the past few days, I have been overwhelmed by a situation involving 2 men. The one I am seeing and the one that has or is trying to come back into my life. I hope to gain insight here which will help me with my decision making. I am still a beginner, so bear with me please. I have chosen to post the composite+natal midpoint method (2) for both relationships.

First guy, First chart, been seeing him about 5 months, has professed his love and has shown me over and over that he means it. He is extremely emotionally expressive and verbal. He is somewhat posessive and controlling with me. He consistently smothers me. At times I have to get away from him. He is a double Pisces with moon in Leo. Lord help me. Bedroom chemistry- average


Second guy, Second chart, dated him for the first time last year, last spring and summer. He had "personal" issues and we just stopped seeing each other and talking. I was hurt because I was emotionally invested, but I don't know if he was. I know that he was not as invested as I. I can say that much. He moved overseas and feels he is in a better place emotionally and financially, and he wants to "see" me again when he comes to visit. In his words, "It took me some time to figure out what you really meant to me," "I saw myself liking you alot and I saw us being able to move to the next level and that scared me."

He is reclusive, all he does is work and gets most of his needs fulfilled through it. He is not emotional or expressive and he is very driven and successful. He does not smother me. I never felt that I got enough attention from him though. His Asc is in Cappy, Venus in Cappy, Sun in Cappy, Merc in Cappy, need I say more? And he has this stellium in the 12th house! Oh issues. But I like him or what he's got brewing underneath. He's secretive and that gets me.
Bedroom chemistry- amazing and explosive

I am torn by who to choose? I would like to have both of them, but that is not karmically correct, so I ask for feedback on which one will best meet my needs?

both men have planets in 12th house, so to me you have gone for same 'type' and both men will need time alone to commune. pisces guy his ruler of 7th house mercury in 12th - not good...

Cappi guy has moon square jupiter and moon trine pluto, great aspects for showing emotions. Cappi can be prudes reserved and driven to

All depends on what you want in a relationship. try posting the synastryn bi wheels for direct chart comparisons...

When posting a synastry bi wheel from astro.com remember to reduce the *orbs* to 50% and maximum orb should be 3’

When looking at a woman’s chart the type of man she would look for is her sun sign and mars traits, plus 7th house planets and house cusp ruler and where that ruler was deposited.
When looking at a mans chart for the type of woman he would look for is his venus and moon sign and then 7th house planets and house cusp ruler and where that ruler was deposited.

Although synastry is a valuable tool with astrology it cannot 'make things happen' even if you have the best synastry in the world unfortunately.

In synastry I use tight orbs and view aspects between one person's outer planets to the other person's inner planets as being "karmic connections"......usually with the outer planet person doing the teaching and the inner planet person doing the learning.

If you want to research more into synastry try here
http://cafeastrology.com/astrology_of_relationships.html
http://www.cafeastrology.com/synastry/interchartaspects.html
http://www.cafeastrology.com/synastry_house_overlays.html
http://www.astrology-numerology.com/synastry.html
http://www.astrology-numerology.com/synastry-houses.html
http://www.astrology-numerology.com/synastryaspects.html
http://www.cosmitec-astrological-compatibility-advice.com/astrology-marriage.html
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17513
http://www.astrotheme.com/synastry_advice.php
http://www.astrology-x-files.com/synastry/ascendant.html
http://astrologyfiles.com/free-horoscope-matching/
http://www.skyviewzone.com/lovematch/sunsynastryhouse.htm

relationship sticky
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=28945
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showpost.php?p=254409&postcount=9

Ok so I only looked at Johnny's chart as he's the one you posted the horary for right? I looked at your synastry and you guys seem to have really good aspects! I haven't looked at them all yet but neptune has really made some soulful connections between you two.. Almost fairy tale like and you have your moon trine his sun.. Also a great aspect AND his venus trine your sun!! Wow! This seems like great synastry so far.. Let me look some more..

Also with his mars conjunct your neptune there's lots of sexual fantasies...

As astrologer50 suggested, post synastry bi-wheels. I am on a small laptop and the charts you posted are hard to read.

First impression: neither of those men. The first one suffocates you and the second one ignores you. Neither option sounds attractive (or healthy). May I also suggest you post your natal chart separately (with aspect table, please)?

Hey you guys I am sooooooo grateful that u r responding and yes Lilith he was the one I posted about in horary. I will do all of it tomm when I get to work. I only have internet on cell at home Thanks you guys - tons. I'm so worried.

Here are the synastry bi-wheels for both men. Thanks in advance for any and all feedback! Per Bittermoons's request, I am posting my natal as well.

lilithofeden said:

Also with his mars conjunct your neptune there's lots of sexual fantasies...

Click to expand...

OR it can sap mars energy and creates lies, illusions and confusions

Marilyn said:

Here are the synastry bi-wheels for both men. Thanks in advance for any and all feedback! Per Bittermoons's request, I am posting my natal as well.

Click to expand...

so just looking at your natal chart, Taurus/venus rules 7th house and posited in venus/aquarius conj jupiter. Next look at sun and mars. Sun capricorn and mars in taurus.

So you are looking for capricorn traits, hardworking ambitious, good with money, practical.
Taurus/venus - highly romantic, affectionate, demonstrative, highly sexed, practical
Venus/Aquarius - must have friendship and mental stimulation and freedom.

Do you recognise these traits in either man?

Marilyn said:

Here are the synastry bi-wheels for both men. Thanks in advance for any and all feedback! Per Bittermoons's request, I am posting my natal as well.

Click to expand...

Cappi stellium 12th house, your sun/juno is conj his venus - excellent.
problem with him is he needs time alone and is very private.

Sun in a partner’s twelfth house:

When your Sun is in your romantic partner’s twelfth house, your partner finds you intriguingly mysterious, and has a tendency to surrender his or her will to the subtle but pervasive influence you hold over him or her. When your relationship partner’s Sun is in your twelfth house, there is a deeply mystical quality to your relationship. You will tend to have a greater receptivity to emotional vibrations, introspection and spiritual experiences. You find it easier to align with your partner’s goals, and may have a greater willingness to make sacrifices to help him or her.

Click to expand...

http://www.skyviewzone.com/lovematch/sunsynastryhouse.htm#su12h

down side his saturn doesn't contact anything in your chart. Your saturn only makes one aspect.. Longevity needs saturn contacts as the create cement for good OR bad.

his sun falls in your 2nd house
Sun in a partner’s second house:

When your Sun is in your romantic partner’s second house, you raise your partner’s desires to create material security and experience physical pleasure. You have a strong interest in your partner’s financial well being. Your influence brings opportunities and creativity to his or her abilities to manifest money. When your relationship partner’s Sun is in your second house, your association will open your eyes to possibilities for financial success. he or she is likely to be enthusiastic about your business ideas and ambition and may provide financial assistance to you. his or her contacts can be useful in creating security.

Click to expand...

http://www.skyviewzone.com/lovematch/sunsynastryhouse.htm#su2h

pisces guy,
your suns don't make an aspect, his juno is conj your venus - very nice.

your moon opp his mercury/jupiter.
Both look ok, go with your heart at the end of the day. Taurus/venus Desc really needs security and stability. which one is going to offer this?

All of you, I truly appreciate your time and insight. I have left both men. Bittermoon had the right idea. I don't think either one is completely right for me, but I will certainly let you know if anything changes.

Sometimes you gotta empty your pockets to make space for new experiences, things and people. Often not an easy thing to do, as we humans tend to cling onto what we have and what we know. So, good on you for choosing for you.

Synastry charts can give you insight how 2 people might interact, but I still believe in free will. It makes sense to study your natal chart more indepth to see what you need.