butterflygirl
Well-known member
My mom and I had planned a road trip 6 hours North to the Garlic Festival in Gilroy, CA. We planned the trip a few months back and pre-paid for the hotel room. This past week my mom and I got into an argument about who was going to drive. The standard has always been the person who has the newer car drives, her car is newer so I felt that she should drive.
She disagreed and attempted to bully and manipulate me into driving by dredging up the past and throwing baseless accusations at me. The back story is in October 2013 she came to pick me up (3 miles which were not out of her way) for a flight in which we were traveling as a family out of the country on vacation. Her husband didn't want my mom to help me out and pick me up. Although he was well aware of the plan before that morning. Mind you I was a single woman traveling with 2 children out of the country. So they argued about it that morning which made her 30 minutes late to pick me up then her car died in front of my house. She needed to call a mechanic to give her a jump. Meanwhile my ex was waiting for me at the airport with my step-son who was joining us on the vacation. He was threatening to return home with my step-son thereby not allowing my step-son to join us on the vacation if I didn't meet him at the airport ASAP. I ended up leaving for the airport in my own car, my mom got her car started, returned home to pick up her husband and unfortunately since she started out 30 minutes late ended up missing her flight and joined us a day later. According to her, I OWE her because of this alleged incident. She insists it's all my fault that she missed her plane and lost a day of her vacation. I disagree. I refuse to accept responsibility for her missing the flight. I believe that had she started out on time regardless of her husbands tantrum that morning and her car troubles she would have made the flight. She has since gotten a new car which is why I think the should drive.
My reason for not wanting to drive is my car needs service and could use tires. It's not a good idea for me to drive my car 800 miles round trip in it's current condition.
I had pulled back and stopped communicating about the issue since I had said everything I had to say on the subject. I kind of figured I was going to simply lose the money I spent on the hotel and stay local the next few days going to the beach, etc. I really didn't expect my mom to change her position, especially since I have a feeling her husband is behind the scenes fanning the fire.
This morning my mom sent me a text offering to drive her car although now I am not sure this trip is such a good idea. After all of the accusations and arguments I'm really not in the mood to spend much time with her but if I don't go now that she's so "generously" (I use that word sarcastically) offered to drive I can imagine the fall out to be worse. So I drew up a chart.
I would appreciate any/all input. Thank you in advance, especially for reading such a long post!
She disagreed and attempted to bully and manipulate me into driving by dredging up the past and throwing baseless accusations at me. The back story is in October 2013 she came to pick me up (3 miles which were not out of her way) for a flight in which we were traveling as a family out of the country on vacation. Her husband didn't want my mom to help me out and pick me up. Although he was well aware of the plan before that morning. Mind you I was a single woman traveling with 2 children out of the country. So they argued about it that morning which made her 30 minutes late to pick me up then her car died in front of my house. She needed to call a mechanic to give her a jump. Meanwhile my ex was waiting for me at the airport with my step-son who was joining us on the vacation. He was threatening to return home with my step-son thereby not allowing my step-son to join us on the vacation if I didn't meet him at the airport ASAP. I ended up leaving for the airport in my own car, my mom got her car started, returned home to pick up her husband and unfortunately since she started out 30 minutes late ended up missing her flight and joined us a day later. According to her, I OWE her because of this alleged incident. She insists it's all my fault that she missed her plane and lost a day of her vacation. I disagree. I refuse to accept responsibility for her missing the flight. I believe that had she started out on time regardless of her husbands tantrum that morning and her car troubles she would have made the flight. She has since gotten a new car which is why I think the should drive.
My reason for not wanting to drive is my car needs service and could use tires. It's not a good idea for me to drive my car 800 miles round trip in it's current condition.
I had pulled back and stopped communicating about the issue since I had said everything I had to say on the subject. I kind of figured I was going to simply lose the money I spent on the hotel and stay local the next few days going to the beach, etc. I really didn't expect my mom to change her position, especially since I have a feeling her husband is behind the scenes fanning the fire.
This morning my mom sent me a text offering to drive her car although now I am not sure this trip is such a good idea. After all of the accusations and arguments I'm really not in the mood to spend much time with her but if I don't go now that she's so "generously" (I use that word sarcastically) offered to drive I can imagine the fall out to be worse. So I drew up a chart.
I would appreciate any/all input. Thank you in advance, especially for reading such a long post!